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HP: The Explosive Academic Overachiever’s Guide to Blowing Up Hogwarts

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Chapter 1: Ariana Confronts a Bully

HP: The Explosive Academic Overachiever’s Guide to Blowing Up Hogwarts

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When Dumbledore stepped onto the porch outside the orphanage, Ariana was lying in ambush four streets away, ready for battle.

That damn Smith boy looked like a monster and acted like one too.

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Did he really need those few pennies to buy himself a coffin?

Ha!

Today, she would teach him that some people could still be killed even after they were buried in the dirt!

Sparks of rage danced in Ariana’s dark eyes.

Did that jackass know how long Mary had held the collection tin on the street for that money?

Most importantly, she and Mary were paired together, and the final rankings were based on each pair’s total!

Every midnight, she had sneaked out of bed to weigh the other girls’ tins.

Not a single one was heavier than theirs—she was guaranteed first place!

She had nearly been branded a creep for it!

And then…

The second her eyes were turned…

God damn it, everything was reset to zero!

He didn’t even leave the tin!

Just watch.

If she didn’t squeeze the crap out of this bastard today, her name wasn’t Ariana!

Ariana ground her teeth together until they creaked.

She ducked lower against the ground like a drawn bow.

A boy who looked like a giant pig king came running down the intersection, his hooves clutching a piece of chocolate wrapped in gold foil.

He definitely bought that with the money from their collection tin!

Her money!

Her first place!

Ariana’s dark eyes burned green with fury.

Resting her weight on her arms, she gave a light push into the air.

A pebble on the street rolled forward as if pushed by an invisible hand.

It tumbled twice and landed right under the boy’s shoe.

“Agh!” The boy hit the ground with a deafening thud, shaking the earth beneath him.

Heh.

Transport for London ought to thank her.

With a impact like that, the next time they sent a steamroller down this street, they could save half a liter of fuel.

“You bastard!” Ariana sprang out from behind the bushes like an arrow, tracing a high, long arc through the air like a bird before slamming her butt down onto the back of the half-dead fat pig.

“Weren’t you pretty cocky yesterday, huh?!” A line of Chinese characters suddenly flashed across her mind: *When the enemy tires, we attack; when the enemy retreats, we advance.* How fitting for the current situation!

Wait, why did she know such a philosophical phrase?

Ariana tossed the flickering thought to the back of her mind—probably because she was a genius!

The genius raised her fist menacingly.

*Thwack!* A howl like a slaughtered pig echoed down the street.

No matter how loud the commotion was, however, it couldn’t reach the matron’s office four streets away.

“Good morning, Mrs.

Brown.” Dumbledore extended a hand politely to the pale woman before him.

“My name is Albus Dumbledore.

I wrote you a letter a while ago…” “I remember.” Mrs.

Brown hesitated, looking at the old man whose beard reached his belt.

Coming to recruit students personally at his age…

was this school really any good?

Oh well, surely it was better than a local trade school?

“You mentioned in the letter that you’re willing to accept little Ariana into your school—Hogwarts, was it?” “Ariana?” Dumbledore’s voice paused.

That momentary hesitation seemed to cause a misunderstanding.

“Yes, Ariana.

Ariana Rich.” “Dark hair, dark eyes, an Asian girl.

But I assure you she’s not a bit behind any white girl…

You were talking about her, right?” Mrs.

Brown’s speaking speed picked up.

Though she had questioned the school a second ago, a bad school was better than no school at all.

“If it’s not her, perhaps you could consider her anyway.

She really is a good child, and she deserves a bright future,” she said urgently.

“Yes, that’s right, it is her,” Dumbledore reassured her smoothly.

“Could you tell me a bit about her?” The tense Mrs.

Brown relaxed, allowing her earlier forgotten doubts to surface once more.

“Of course.

But before that, I have a question.

We never submitted an application to any school for her—where did you hear about her, and why are you willing to take her?” “Actually, her name appeared on our admissions list recently.” “Recently?” Mrs.

Brown pressed eagerly.

“How long ago?

Did her parents or relatives apply for her?

Why didn’t they come pick her up?” Her questions came like rapid fire.

Fortunately, Dumbledore had encountered many similar situations in his long life.

“Perhaps if you take a look at this, you will understand.” He expertly handed over a piece of blank paper while subtly flicking his wand with his other hand.

Mrs.

Brown’s eyes went hazy.

She began studying the blank paper inch by inch with intense focus.

“I don’t think I have any more questions.” She handed the paper back to Dumbledore.

“Thank you so much for giving little Ari a chance.

Perhaps I could offer you a cup of tea?” “It would be my honor.” Dumbledore smiled warmly as he took the paper back, pulling a greaseproof paper package of biscuits from his pocket.

“Perhaps we could have some sweet refreshments with our tea.” Wisps of steam rose from the teacups.

The heat and icing seemed to melt the cold atmosphere, loosening Mrs.

Brown’s tongue.

“I gave little Ari her name,” she said, puffing her chest out proudly.

“When you meet her, you’ll see how fitting it is—she’s a little ray of sunshine!” “That sounds wonderful,” Dumbledore said.

“It truly is.” That struck a chord with Mrs.

Brown, and she began to talk endlessly.

“She’s the smartest girl I’ve ever seen—and the most hardworking.

When she arrived last year, her spelling was atrocious; she couldn’t even spell ‘please.’ But within a few months, she became top of her class.” “She arrived last year?

She didn’t grow up here?” Dumbledore asked, looking quite interested, which naturally fueled the matron’s desire to share.

“Oh, no.

Last October, I believe.

It was a clear afternoon—you know how rare that is in London—and little Ari was left at the doorstep.

Poor thing, she was terribly ill, covered in chickenpox, her cheeks burning red with fever, completely unconscious.

We thought she wouldn’t make it, but God bless her, she pulled through.” “Did she say anything after she woke up?” Dumbledore asked.

“For instance, about her parents?” “Actually,” Mrs.

Brown sighed, “she could barely speak at all.” “Couldn’t speak?” Dumbledore sounded surprised.

“The doctor said the dangerous fever might have affected her head a bit—” Realizing how that sounded, Mrs.

Brown quickly corrected herself.

“I don’t mean Ari is stupid!

She relearned English within a month and could communicate with us easily.

She really is smart; she just forgot everything from before, even her own name.” “Later, she chose her own surname.” Mrs.

Brown’s eyes softened as if remembering something funny.

“She wanted to be called Rich, saying that being wealthy was her biggest dream.

That way, even if someone insulted her in the future, starting with ‘Miss Rich’ would make her a little less angry.” “She sounds like a very clever little girl.” Dumbledore smiled, asking casually, “Have any strange things ever happened around her?” “Strange?” Mrs.

Brown looked offended.

“Ari is not a weird girl!

Unless you count her secretly doing the work of two people just to lighten our load!” “Or did you listen to those gossiping women on the street…

Yes, once the cook fell off a ladder while changing a lightbulb, and little Ari caught her completely unharmed.

But I think that was just a burst of strength in a moment of panic—we must allow for a few miracles of love, mustn’t we?” She was almost aggressive in her tone.

Whatever she said seemed to touch the old man.

He took off his half-moon spectacles and wiped them.

“Yes, love is the greatest force of all.

I look forward to meeting this lovely young lady.” “Of course,” Mrs.

Brown cheered up again.

“Obedient, thoughtful, everyone loves her—” “Mrs.

Brown!

Mrs.

Brown!

Oh no!

Ariana stole the gong from the main hall!” A little girl burst into the office.

Mrs.

Brown: “…” Dumbledore: “…” Mrs.

Brown paused, recovering her composure.

“Of course, you must understand, girls her age always have a few lively ideas…” Dumbledore, thinking of who knows what, smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I understand completely.” Mrs.

Brown let out a huge sigh of relief and said somewhat unnaturally, “I swear, things like this don’t happen often.

Most of the time, Ariana is a sweet little angel…” “Mrs.

Brown!

Mrs.

Brown!

Something terrible happened!

Ari grabbed little Smith and is kicking him down the street like a football!

A crowd is watching, and Mrs.

Smith wants you to go put a stop to it!” Another little girl burst in.

Mrs.

Brown, who had been desperately trying to brainwash Dumbledore about how well-behaved Ari was and get him to forget the minor hiccup: “…” Dumbledore: “…” The flesh on Mrs.

Brown’s cheeks twitched violently, her jaw tightening.

“Ah…

occasionally, not often…

sometimes there’s a tiny little accident.

Children are naturally lively, after all.

Trust me, Ari really is a good child.

This kind of thing…

doesn’t happen much—I mean, little Ariana will definitely get into your school, right?” “Of course.” “Even if her performance during this interview isn’t quite perfect…?” “Actually, this isn’t an interview—what I mean to say is, she will definitely enter our school.” “Even if she’s a bit mischievous, it doesn’t matter?” “Even if she blows up the building right now.” Dumbledore said with a warm smile, seemingly not considering it a problem at all.

Mrs.

Brown narrowed her eyes at the old man, as if judging the credibility of his words.

Evidently, she decided he could be trusted.

Taking a deep breath, Mrs.

Brown turned around.

Dumbledore caught a glimpse of fire blazing in her eyes; the slender woman looked like an enraged tiger.

“Take me to Ariana, Mary.

That little brat needs a good walloping!

Does she even know what day it is today—dropping the ball at the critical moment!” The little girl named Mary trembled violently and softly pleaded for her friend: “Ariana didn’t mean to—” *CLANG!!!* Another deafening gong crash echoed from the entrance, followed by a girl’s resounding, powerful voice: “Roll up, roll up, everyone!

Come take a look!!!” The vein on Mrs.

Brown’s forehead throbbed in perfect rhythm with the gong.

“All right, Mary, hush.

I hear her.” She turned, trying her best to put on her previous gentle facade for Dumbledore, though her lips twitched visibly with rage.

“Perhaps you could wait here for a moment…?” “No, no, no.

I can hardly wait to meet this lively little girl.” Dumbledore looked eager to see the show.

Full novel: HP: The Explosive Academic Overachiever’s Guide to Blowing Up Hogwarts — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
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