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I Am Truly Desperate

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Chapter 4

I Am Truly Desperate

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The first phase of the enhancement project has ended. Just as I’d expected, three people have already chosen to withdraw because they couldn’t endure the pain of the enhancement procedures, while another person was forced to leave because of their physical condition.

Among the three who backed out at the last moment, one was the only son of the veteran General Joseph. Just a few days ago, the old general had spoken to me about his son with great pride. He told me that the entire family was proud of the young man’s decision to join the military.

That young man had truly let down his family’s expectations of him.Full novel: I Am Truly Desperate — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

Because of this incident, I even got into an argument with my male god. To be honest, this was the first time the two of us had ever quarreled over something like this.

My male god believed that the person who had withdrawn from the enhancement project… Well, how should I put it? Let’s call him A for now. My male god believed that A had merely been forced to accept his family’s expectations of him all along. Perhaps A had never actually wanted to enlist in the military or become part of this profession in the first place.

He described A’s withdrawal as an act of defiance against his family, and he believed that making such a choice was an extremely courageous thing to do.

That point… I really couldn’t accept it. I’d originally intended to explain my own perspective to my male god, but for some reason, he reacted so strongly that we ended up arguing again.

Although we eventually apologized to each other, the whole thing was still… simply awful.

475# Desperate OP

Actually, if what your male god said is true, then the person who withdrew… is rather pitiful, too.

476# = =

Agreed. Pitiful. +1

477# = =

Is your male god imagining things a little too much here??? Did anyone ever say that A chose to withdraw because he wanted to rebel against his family?

478# = =

I think your male god isn’t just overthinking things. He’s also being a little unreasonable for no apparent reason…

479# = =

OP, why do you end up arguing with your male god every couple of days…?

480# = =

As someone with absolutely no principles when it comes to love, I think that if you like someone, then whatever they do must be right.

481# = =

OP, you probably hit a sore spot for your male god…

482# = =

OP, seriously… Before falling in love with your male god, didn’t you even bother to find out about his family background?!

483# = =

If your male god really is Q… Hmm… As far as I know, his parents, older brother, and even his grandparents have all served the military. They’re just not stationed in this particular military district.

484# = =

…Now that the person above has explained it like that…

485# = =

Could it be that your male god was thinking about his own situation?

485# = =

Sigh, if that’s really the case, and his parents and family are the kind of people who have an extremely strong desire to control everything… OP, you’d better brace yourself.

486# = =

Lighting a candle for OP…

487# = =

I’m suddenly starting to feel sorry for OP…

488# = =

Uh… I don’t quite understand what you people mean. Why are you feeling sorry for me?

It’s true that I’ve never looked into my male god’s family background. If that’s the reason he got angry with me, then I can actually understand his reaction.

All I know is that my male god comes from a wealthy family. I’ve also seen his father at military meetings before. He’s an extremely stern man… The kind of person who can frighten you just by being there.

I’m different from him. My family didn’t provide me with many opportunities or choices, and my parents passed away a long time ago. I can only rely on myself to decide which direction to take and what steps to follow from here on.

That made things particularly difficult when I was young, but as I grew older, it became a kind of freedom.

I shouldn’t have criticized the situation so carelessly without understanding its causes and the circumstances behind it. Now that I think about it… Does that mean I need to go and apologize to my male god again??

489# Desperate OP

I feel like OP is constantly stuck in this cycle of… making his male god angry… and then apologizing to him…

490# = =

I can’t believe OP doesn’t even understand why we’re feeling sorry for him…

491# = =

I don’t know why, but OP seems kind of silly to me.

492# = =

Person above, are you only realizing today that OP is an idiot? Hahahahaha!

493# = =

Giving OP the look of someone who’s disappointed because he just won’t live up to expectations.

494# = =

OP, have you ever thought about this? If your male god’s parents really are the kind of people who want to control every aspect of their children’s lives and expect them to follow the path they’ve carefully laid out for them… Do you honestly think they’d allow someone like you to influence their child?

495# = =

Wait a minute… The little angel’s parents passed away???

496# = =

Actually, even if your male god really did get together with F, it wouldn’t exactly be an improper match… People are much more open-minded nowadays, and the two of them are well matched in terms of family background and status. If the concern is having children, technology has advanced so much that having a child wouldn’t be a problem at all! It might be a little expensive, but it’s completely possible!!! I honestly can’t think of a single reason why someone would consider OP’s feelings for his male god a bad influence.

497# = =

I can’t figure it out either.

498# = =

I’m becoming more and more convinced that OP isn’t F…

499# = =

I’m increasingly convinced that OP isn’t F, too. +1

500# = =

It’s true that people are much more open-minded nowadays, but there are still people who can’t accept it, even if they’re in the minority.

501# = =

Now that you put it that way, I suddenly feel so sorry for the little angel. QAQ

502# = =

Wow, did you people see that?! After the enhancement procedures were completed, the new recruits got their first chance to operate actual military mechas… and F and Z got into a fight!!!

503# = =

?????? What happened?

504# = =

What happened?! What on earth is going on?!

505# = =

No way! Why would Z get into a fight with F??

506# = =

What do you mean by that, person above??? Shouldn’t the question be why Z is bullying our little angel?!

507# = =

Good heavens! OP, are you all right?!

508# = =

Wait, they actually started fighting? And nobody stopped them?!

509# = =

You call that a fight between F and Z?! That’s a one-sided beating! (Little angel, I’m sorry!)

510# = =

…

Can someone please explain what exactly happened?! I’m so nervous!!!

511# = =

Everyone can go home now, everyone can go home. They didn’t actually fight.

512# = =

Why did it end before it even started??

513# = =

A disappointed bystander who witnessed everything here. I originally thought they were really going to fight, but who would’ve expected that Z wouldn’t even pay F any attention?

514# = =

So F was the one who provoked him after all? What exactly happened?

515# = =

Why did the little angel have to bring this upon himself…

516# = =

Thank goodness they didn’t actually fight… You scared me to death!

517# = =

Apparently, today was the day the new recruits got to try operating military mechas for the first time. Z and F had been kept behind by the commander to deal with some matters, so they arrived a little late. When they finally got there, they discovered that several young masters were having the time of their lives playing around with the military mechas. They were practically on the verge of demolishing the entire building!

Z was furious. According to military regulations, that kind of behavior was absolutely forbidden and warranted severe disciplinary action. He wanted to punish the people responsible, but the little angel kept speaking up for them and trying to defend them. Somehow, things eventually escalated to the point where… the little angel challenged Z to a match.

The others even kept egging them on!

In the end, Z didn’t pay F any attention at all. Those few troublemakers were still dragged out by Z and forced to run laps. Apparently, they won’t even be getting dinner tonight. How pitiful…

518# = =

It wasn’t that big of a deal, was it? Did Z really need to get that angry?

519# = =

Hahahahaha! Looking at Z, I feel as though I’m looking at the school’s head of discipline.

520# = =

This is a very serious matter!!! There have already been incidents in the past where inexperienced operators mishandled mechas and caused casualties, and there has been more than one such accident.

521# = =

I can practically picture the little angel’s face saying, “Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!”

And then Z completely ignored him. Hahahahaha!

522# = =

Those accidents only happen when inexperienced people operate mechas. Everyone here graduated from a military academy, so what danger could there possibly be?

523# = =

Training mechas used at military academies are different from actual military mechas, you know.

524# = =

Why did the little angel speak up for those people in the first place? If the rules are already established, then anyone who fails to follow them deserves to be punished!

525# = =

Z is seriously way too fierce… I still prefer our little angel. QwQ

526# = =

Back when the little angel had just graduated, he used to pull this kind of stunt all the time…

527# = =

Exactly! I remember that, too. The little angel was quite the troublemaker back then. He already disliked Z and called him a hypocrite who only pretended to be proper and upright. He even tried to provoke Z into fighting him, but Z never paid him any attention…

528# = =

I’m starting to feel more and more sorry for the little angel…

529# = =

It’s not that Z was ignoring him… It’s because fighting among military personnel is against the regulations…

530# = =

They didn’t actually fight, so it was just an ordinary little incident. Everyone can stop worrying now.

There’s a friendly competition tonight, and I still have to get ready for it. The military has organized several teams to compete against one another, and they hold these competitions every few days just for fun. I honestly have no idea what the point of these competitions is… This time, apparently, they’re planning to broaden the new recruits’ horizons, so we have to bring them along as well. They’re really too much trouble to deal with. Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

But I just asked around, and my male god will be there to watch!!!

Originally, the Medical Department was only supposed to send two doctors to stand by in case of an emergency. I have no idea why my male god is coming, too! Maybe it’s because he was in charge of the enhancement project, so he wants to follow up on what happens afterward.

I’m so excited!!!

I’ll give it my all and win the championship right in front of my male god!

531# Desperate OP

Hahahahahaha! The level of your lovesickness has reached a whole new high!

532# = =

No, seriously, there are quite a few capable people in this competition. Little angel, winning the championship might be a little difficult for you.

533# = =

Honestly, I don’t think winning the championship will do you any good, little angel. It’s too difficult! In this kind of situation, you should pretend to get injured by your opponent and then have your male god personally help you bandage your wound!!!

534# = =

Give it up. I think your male god will just stand there watching while two other burly doctors come over to bandage OP’s wounds.

535# = =

Hahahahahaha! I can picture that scene so clearly!

536# = =

Little angel, maybe you shouldn’t participate at all… It would be pretty embarrassing to lose in front of your male god.

537# = =

Z is participating, too! Little angel, if you try hard enough to make it into the later rounds, there’s a good chance you’ll run into Z.

538# = =

Why would you want him to run into Z? So he can get beaten up? What if something happens to our little angel’s pretty face? My heart would break!

539# = =

I’ve been watching all of you call him the little angel and the adorable little cutie, one after another, and there’s something I’ve really wanted to ask you… I hope you won’t beat me up for it.

540# = =

What is it?

541# = =

Don’t leave us hanging! Finish what you were going to say!

542# = =

What’s wrong with the little angel?

543# = =

We won’t beat you up, so just say it!

544# = =

Whether we beat you up or not depends on what you’re about to ask.

545# = =

When you people call him the little angel… have you ever considered that F is already… this year, he’s apparently…

546# = =

Shut up. Next!

547# = =

Congratulations, you’re already dead.

548# = =

…Already thirty-one years old?

549# = =

Shut up! I refuse to listen!!!

550# = =

What’s wrong with being thirty-one? A thirty-one-year-old can still be a little angel!

551# = =

The little angel in my heart will forever be sixteen years old!

552# = =

F is thirty-one? He looks like he’s only in his early twenties!

553# = =

The advantages of having a baby face.

554# = =

He really is thirty-one… And, actually, he’s a little older than Z…

555# = =

…………………………..I don’t believe you! Stop talking!

556# = =

I won’t listen, I won’t listen, I won’t listen, I won’t listen! QAQ

557# = =

QAQ I refuse to listen! I’ve always thought of the little angel as a beautiful seventeen-year-old boy!

558# = =

What’s wrong with being thirty-one?! He’s in the prime of his life, standing tall in his thirties! He’s still a vigorous, full-grown man with the fire of youth burning brightly within him!

559# = =

Full novel: I Am Truly Desperate — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
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