The bullet comments were in an uproar, but Shen Miao couldn’t afford to worry about that now.
The moment she saw the leader about to pull the trigger, she leaped forward in a flash, raised her paw, and sent the man flying—gun and all—with a single vicious swipe from behind!
“Xiaoguai, go! Grab the gun for me!”
Before anyone could even react, a tiger let out a mighty roar and shot out dozens of meters in an instant, snatching the hunting rifle in its jaws.
Xiaoguai tried to run back toward Shen Miao, but then saw all five guns aimed squarely at her—a tiny tiger. Terrified, she bolted in the opposite direction and scrambled straight up a tree.
In no time, Xiaoguai and the big black bear were clinging to the same branch, staring at each other face-to-face, both trembling uncontrollably.
Black Bear: ??
Xiaoguai: !!
Shen Miao: …
At that moment, the live stream showed an utterly bizarre scene.
Up in the tree, a large tiger and a big black bear stared at each other, shivering in fear. Down below, a panda stood face-to-face with five gun-wielding thugs with murderous expressions, the two sides locked in a tense standoff.
[What the hell?! Since when can tigers climb trees that fast?]
[Liar! Who was it that told me tigers can’t climb trees?!]
[Damn, so the streamer really can send a thug flying with one slap?!]
[Strong! Too strong! I’m blown away, bro. But what happens next? There are five of them over there! Call the cops, quick!]
[Why call the cops? That’s just wasting police resources. This is obviously scripted. It’s so ridiculous—how could this be real?]
The viewers were stunned, but the five poachers facing a panda were equally dumbfounded.
Wait! What were they seeing? A panda!
A living, breathing panda had appeared in the forests of Changbai Mountain in the northeast! Right in front of their eyes?
The boss who had been knocked out by the panda’s slap was completely forgotten. Now, faced with such a priceless panda, greed and lust gleamed in every criminal’s eyes.
That was a panda! If they could catch one and sell it, it would fetch an astronomical price!
“Excellent! We’re making a big score today! No matter what, we’re taking that panda!”
They had no idea how a panda had ended up in the northeastern forest, but these vicious criminals didn’t have time to think about that.
Seeing the panda across from them tilting its head and staring at them without charging forward—clearly just a dumb beast that knew nothing—a scar-faced man immediately said:
“Third and Fourth, switch your guns to tranquilizers! We’re taking it alive!
The three of us will cover you!”
Ha! They wanted to capture her, the panda, alive?
These garbage Two-legged Beasts could dream on!
Shen Miao simply stood her ground, planting her stubby paws on her hips as she waited for them to make their move.
[Ahhh, so tense, so tense! Streamer, run!]
[Those guys look seriously dangerous. This can’t be real, right? Those guns look like the real deal?]
[Forget it, I’m calling the cops first. Streamer, run! Why are you just standing there frozen?! They’re already making their move—get down!
Wait, what the hell am I seeing?!]
Just as everyone’s hearts were in their throats, Shen Miao—a panda—suddenly launched herself into the air and, in a flash, dodged two tranquilizer darts!
Dodged? She dodged?
At that distance, at that speed—how was that possible?!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
More tranquilizer shots rang out, but every single dart was dodged without exception as the seemingly chubby, clumsy black-and-white ball weaved left and right, evading them in an instant.
How was this possible?!
Before the men could even react, the black-and-white panda had already blurred into motion, closing the distance in a flash. Two crisp slaps sent the two men holding tranquilizer guns flying.
By the time the scar-faced man raised his gun to fire, Shen Miao leaped again and kicked him—gun and all—into unconsciousness with a single strike.
The entire live stream audience was dumbfounded.
All they saw was a panda spinning and leaping through the frame, executing a spinning kick with her stubby little legs to send the last man crashing to the ground.
Shen Miao patted her paws together, then stepped on the half-conscious scar-faced man with a satisfying heavy stomp, knocking him out cold again. Only then did she call for Xiaoguai to come down and clean up the mess.
[!!! Holy crap, Kung Fu Panda?!]
[What am I even watching? Am I dreaming?]
[A cute streamer taking down a poaching gang? With hunting rifles and everything?]
[Bullshit. This is obviously all AI effects. It’s all fake!]
[Too fake, too fake! The script is way too obvious. This is over the top!]
[Whatever you say, I didn’t expect that round little ball to be so agile?
Anyway, I’m satisfied. Here’s a tip!]
It was so absurd that the viewers didn’t take it seriously at all, assuming it was all special effects and scripted content. Tips started rolling in one after another in the comments, and Shen Miao nodded happily before remembering today’s theme:
“Thank you all for your support! This time I really am going offline to call the police.”
“Everyone, remember to buy my ginseng! It’s absolutely authentic! Buy more! We pandas never lie!”
The audience: !!
【I’m speechless… Wow, so this is what they were setting us up for!】
【All that action and it turns out to be product promotion?
That ad was way too over the top! Fine, I’ll buy, I’ll buy!】
Finally, someone placed an order for ginseng, and Shen Miao smiled contentedly, her panda eyes narrowing with joy, before she turned off the livestream and called the police.
By the time Officer Lin Xiaoyao led a large group of people up on motorcycles, Shen Miao had already sold quite a bit of ginseng.
So when she saw the officers, she waved happily:
“Over here, over here! They’re all here.”
By now, she had learned from her previous mistake and had already transformed back into human form, so the officers didn’t notice anything unusual. They just stared wide-eyed at the soft, petite girl who was barely over five feet tall, all of them dumbfounded.
“It’s you again?!”
“Don’t tell me… you took down this whole group by yourself?”
At that moment, the six men were piled up like a human pyramid at the foot of the tree, still unconscious. Their guns were scattered carelessly nearby. It looked like a large-scale garbage disposal site…
“Yeah, is there a problem?”
Shen Miao nodded seriously, but the officers’ eyes were as wide as brass bells.
Yeah, right! I don’t believe you for a second!
If this little girl could take down six armed poachers with her bare hands, then why would they need so many people in bulletproof vests to come up the mountain?
“It’s really true! We bears—ahem, I never lie.”
Seeing the suspicious looks from everyone, Shen Miao quickly pulled out her phone:
“You can check the livestream replay! I was live streaming just now, you can see everything!”
Qin Che wasn’t with them on this mission, and none of the officers dared to believe it. They exchanged bewildered glances for a long while.
It wasn’t until they had arrested everyone and returned to the police station that they finally watched the livestream Shen Miao had mentioned.
When the officers saw how Shen Miao had taken down those people single-handedly in the livestream footage, all of them were: …
Wow! This case today wasn’t just absurd—it was absurdity’s mother opening the door for absurdity—
Absurdity to the extreme!
This really, really can’t be scripted, right?
The audience could suspect it was scripted, but the officers, who had seen it with their own eyes, were completely stunned.
“Wait, something’s off. Your video doesn’t use any AI synthesis technology, and those six bandits are real criminals—they couldn’t have coordinated with you to act out a script.”
Officer Lin Xiaoyao felt like her brain was about to short-circuit. She looked at Shen Miao with deep suspicion:
“So why were you a panda in the video? Could it be that…”