Attempt number thirty-four had a lot of potential.
I had prepared a new dress, a bottle of wine, and a set of red lingerie I had bought specifically with Morgause in mind. My goal was to get her to see me wearing it and, if things went especially well, end up wearing considerably less.
I was still working on the part where I got Morgause to take my clothes off instead of setting them on fire with me still inside when a summons arrived from the Adventurers’ Guild.
MANDATORY ATTENDANCE FOR THE FIVE LEGENDARY SUMMONED HEROES.
I looked at the letter.
Then at the red lingerie spread across my bed.
What a terrible time to need a heroine.
By the time I reached the guild, the others were already waiting in a private room on the second floor.
Blazer, the Hero of the Sword, sat beside the central table. Monkar, the Hero of the Shield, rested in one of the armchairs with his enormous weapon propped beside him. Elizabeth, the Heroine of the Spear, stood near a window, while Sogard, the Hero of the Bow, quietly checked the contents of his quiver.
And finally, there was me.
Nellie, the Heroine of the Staff.
The five legendary heroes who had been summoned to protect this world.
Very impressive.
It would have been even more impressive if someone had bothered to show up and explain why the hell we had been summoned here.
Several minutes passed without the door opening. Monkar seemed perfectly comfortable doing absolutely nothing, Elizabeth watched the streets through the window, and Sogard had apparently found one particular arrow fascinating enough to occupy the rest of his afternoon.
I had a Demon Queen to seduce.
My patience was considerably more limited.
I settled into the chair beside Blazer.
“Well, since we have nothing to talk about, I’ll tell you about some of my best attempts with Morgause.”
Blazer looked up from the paper in front of him.
“Your best attempts? Last time you used those words, you spent twenty minutes explaining how you almost managed to see her naked.”
“That’s why it was one of the best.”
“For you. I ended up learning things about the Demon Queen I never asked to know.”
I leaned a little closer.
“Then you’ll love attempt seven. Twelve had an unexpected twist, nineteen ended with my dress caught somewhere very interesting, and I still haven’t told you the full version of twenty-one.”
Blazer studied me for a few seconds.
“I have the unpleasant feeling that ‘somewhere very interesting’ means a part of Morgause’s body.”
I smiled.
“You’re learning.”
“I’d rather not.”
I was about to start with number seven when I noticed the paper in front of him.
It wasn’t a guild document.
It was an announcement for a Runic Duel tournament taking place that weekend.
I followed the list of participants until I found a familiar name.
RED HORN.
I looked at Blazer.
He was already looking at me.
I smiled.
“So Red Horn is competing again.”
“I’m checking the whole list.”
“Of course. That’s why your finger has been sitting right on her name for the last several minutes.”
Blazer looked down and immediately moved his hand away.
“I was thinking about who I might get matched against.”
“Or hoping you get matched with her.”
“Both can be true.”
There it was.
Much better than a boring denial.
Runic Duels were the closest thing we had found in this world to fighting games. Two players used magical devices to control fighters inside a small arena, each with their own techniques, movements, and combinations.
Blazer had gotten hooked almost immediately.
And Red Horn had turned out to be one of the few people capable of making him completely lose track of time.
“I still think it’s adorable,” I said.
“Every time you start a sentence like that, I know I’m going to regret hearing the rest.”
“You liked her before you even knew she was Hellista.”
A very small smile appeared on his face.
I saw it.
He knew I saw it.
“Don’t start.”
Hellista was Morgause’s personal secretary.
A short demon with permanent dark circles under her eyes and a cup of coffee so frequently in her hands that I was starting to suspect it was part of her anatomy. Every time I had seen her in the castle, she looked about three documents away from collapsing face-first onto her desk.
Red Horn was different.
Whenever Hellista wanted to compete in human tournaments, she used magic to hide her demonic features and take on a human appearance. Under that identity, she smiled more, got annoyed when she lost, and could play for hours without showing even a trace of the exhaustion normally written across her face.
Blazer had met that version of her first.
“The first time we played, she destroyed me,” he said, looking back at the announcement. “I tried pressuring her from the start, and she punished basically everything I did.”
“How romantic.”
“It was humiliating.”
“In your case, those two things seem dangerously close.”
He gave me an amused look.
“That’s rich coming from a woman who enjoys it when Morgause corners her against a wall.”
I shut my mouth.
Low blow.
Blazer smiled in satisfaction.
“The point is, afterward she came over and explained everything I was doing wrong. Spent almost half an hour pointing out mistakes, then demanded another match to see if I’d actually learned anything.”
“And you accepted.”
“Obviously. I had dignity to recover.”
“Did you?”
“Not that night.”
I laughed.
After that, they had started running into each other more and more. Sometimes they were paired during competitions, and other times they kept playing afterward simply because neither one was willing to let the other walk away with the final win.
What Blazer didn’t know was who had actually been sitting across from him.
“Until you started following her,” I said.
“Once.”
“For quite a while.”
“I had reasons. She always disappeared after tournaments, avoided certain parts of the city, and never talked about where she lived. I figured she was hiding something.”
“And your first reaction was to follow a woman through the streets.”
Blazer raised an eyebrow.
“Nellie, you only know any of this because you were following me.”
Ah.
Right.
“I had reasons.”
“You just used my exact argument.”
“Mine were better.”
“Of course they were.”
That night, Blazer had followed Red Horn outside the city. There, he saw the transformation magic fade and discovered that the player he had spent months sharing matches with was actually Hellista.
I stepped out from behind a tree a few seconds later.
Neither of us had been particularly dignified that night.
“I still remember your face,” I said. “You looked like you had just discovered your favorite character was the secret boss.”
“I had just discovered I’d spent months playing with the Demon Queen’s secretary.”
“The demon secretary you like.”
“That part is still under debate.”
“Not for me.”
Blazer laughed.
“That’s why nobody lets you decide other people’s romantic situations.”
“Orbit does.”
“I don’t know who Orbit is, and I’m already concerned.”
I smiled.
“My romantic advisor.”
Blazer went quiet for a few seconds.
“Of course you have one.”
I really needed to introduce them someday.
Maybe during a double date.
The idea came to me so quickly that I nearly straightened in my chair.
“Blazer.”
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
“You made the same face you make before explaining your plans for Morgause. I’m protecting myself.”
“A double date.”
He closed his eyes.
“I knew I was right.”
“Think about it. You and Hellista, me and Morgause. Dinner, wine, pleasant conversation, and afterward each couple could find somewhere more private.”
“Up until ‘pleasant conversation,’ that was almost a reasonable suggestion.”
“We could also share the same room.”
“And there it goes.”
No imagination at all.
I leaned back in my chair and looked toward the door again. We were still waiting.
“Anyway, we can deal with your love life once you admit you have one. Now, which attempt do you want me to start with?”
Blazer smiled.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll pick the worst one regardless of what I say.”
“Twenty-one, then.”
“Naturally.”
I made myself more comfortable.
“That was when I found an entrance near Morgause’s bath. She caught me, walked over, grabbed both my wrists, and pinned me against the wall with her body practically pressed against mine.”
The image returned to my mind with dangerously pleasant clarity.
Morgause that close.
Her hands holding me in place.
Her breath against my neck.
Maybe I should reuse part of that strategy for attempt thirty-four.
Especially with the red lingerie.
“And then,” I continued, lowering my voice a little, “if she had moved one of her hands just a little farther down…”
Blazer started smiling.
“You’re getting worked up again.”
“I’m telling a story.”
“Your face is telling a different one.”
I was about to explain exactly how wrong he was when a thunderous crash shook the entire building.
The windows rattled, and the table slid several inches across the floor.
Elizabeth grabbed her spear immediately. Monkar rose with his shield ready, while Sogard already had an arrow between his fingers. Blazer stood and reached for his sword.
I stared at the door.
They had interrupted attempt twenty-one right when I was getting to the best part.
Whatever was out there, I already disliked it.