Snow swirled beyond the hotel window.
Coming to a hotel this nice to have sex with a man was a new experience, I’d give it that.
I put a cigarette between my lips and looked down at the night street.
The gangster bastard hadn’t seemed to have any real intention of fucking me, so I’d wondered what the hell was going on when he brought me to a hotel. Then the second we got into the room, he flipped.
He shoved me back without even giving me time to take off my shoes. Like the dog he was, he went for my neck first, biting at it. When he climbed on top of me, I felt his hard dick between our tangled legs and nearly lost my mind.
I shoved his shoulders back and said, dead serious, “Let’s wash first. You were fucking in a bathroom earlier, remember?”
He looked at me like I was hilarious, but thankfully, he got up.
I said I’d wash first and went into the bathroom. Now he was the one in there washing.
The fact that I hadn’t killed the gangster bastard when he jumped me proved my patience was no joke. What was he, some rabid dog? Why the fuck was he biting people’s necks?
I rubbed my stinging neck with my palm.
Clicking my tongue, I sat on the bed and searched for his phone. Just like his personality, there was no lock on it.
Kang Yejun wasn’t in his contacts.
I used the gangster bastard’s phone to call my own number, then pulled my phone out of my coat. When I checked it, I had a ridiculous number of missed calls.
All from Cha Seokhyeon.
He’d really gone all out trying to contact me.
Where are you?
Why aren’t you answering?
Where are you?
I skimmed through them, saved the gangster bastard’s number, then called Cha Seokhyeon.
He picked up after one ring.
In a low voice, Cha Seokhyeon asked,
「Where are you?」
“At a hotel.”
「…Who are you with? Are you with a man? To have sex?」
“Why the hell would I have sex with that bastard?”
「That bastard? Who? You said earlier you were going to seduce a man.」
“How did you seduce Kang Yejun?”
I crushed my cigarette out in the ashtray.
「I just talked to him a little and it worked.」
“So you seduced him with your face. Are you subtly telling me my face isn’t good enough?”
「I like your face, Yuha. You look like a saintly priest.」
“Sure. What about Kang Yejun?”
「He just came back. When are you coming?」
“I’ll be there soon, so stick right next to Kang Yejun. Hanging up.”
I ignored whatever else Cha Seokhyeon was saying and ended the call.
I took the packet I’d shoved into my coat.
No matter how I looked at it, I was too damn soft. What a kind person I was. Just look at me preparing sleeping pills instead of laxatives.
I took the wine I’d ordered from room service and carried it to the table. I opened the bottle, poured it into a glass, then tore open the packet.
White powder sprinkled gently into the wine.
I stirred it lazily with my ring finger, wiped my hand on a tissue, and snickered.
Your wine’s going to be a little salty, you son of a bitch.
Right then, the gangster bastard came out.
With his hair down, he looked much younger. Wearing a bathrobe, he looked at me with a displeased expression.
His face said, Why aren’t you on the bed?
Pretending not to notice, I swirled the glass.
“It’s my first time having sex, you see. Let’s talk and loosen up a little over a drink first.”
Technically, it was my first time having gay sex.
The bastard came toward me, smiling in that irritating way, like he found something funny about what I’d said.
He sat across from me, lifted the glass, and took a sip.
“Really your first time?”
“Didn’t you see how flustered I was earlier?”
“Fair. Who would sleep with you?”
I smiled brightly.
“You’re about to sleep with me.”
“Why me?”
“What?”
“Why did you ask me to have sex with you?”
I answered like it was nothing.
“Because you looked like you’d be good at fucking.”
“If that’s what you wanted, you picked right. But haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”
“Maybe on TV?”
“TV?”
“I may not look it, but I’m an idol.”
The man gave me a strange look, as if he’d heard the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“You’re an idol? With that personality? Shouldn’t you manage yourself a little?”
“This is me managing it.”
“What kind of hell must your members go through because of you? What’s the group called?”
“Seven Days.”
Even now, it was a shitty name. For something meant to imply we’d be by the public’s side every day of the week, it had gone spectacularly badly.
I thought he’d laugh at how stupid the group name was, but surprisingly, he listened seriously.
Then he asked, calm as anything,
“Kang Yejun is in that group, right?”
My face almost froze. I forced it loose.
The bastard said it in passing.
“I remembered because he’s my type.”
“Your taste is really……”
“What?”
“Your taste is truly excellent.”
I smiled kindly.
So that was why this bastard had hit on him.
He’d already had his eye on him, so when Kang Yejun fell into his lap, of course he’d fucked him.
I stared at him.
Why isn’t he asleep yet?
Were the sleeping pills cheap or what?
The bastard started asking me this and that like he was conducting a background check.
“You’re an idol, but it’s fine for you to have sex with a man?”
“Are idols not allowed to have sex?”
“Were you born with that shitty temper?”
“I’m treating you pretty nicely, actually.”
“Crazy bastard. You really are exactly the type I hate.”
The man’s snickering voice began to slow.
He blinked, slowly.
Looks like the drug was finally kicking in.
With sleep thick in his voice, the man chuckled.
“You’re not popular, are you? Who’d like something like you?”
I let it go in one ear and out the other, answering, “Yes, yes.”
He muttered that that attitude of mine was annoying as hell, then his forehead hit the table.
His soft breathing filled the silent room.
I watched him quietly.
After staring for a long while, I lifted him up and laid him on the bed.
His sleeping face looked absurdly young. He didn’t look like the sort of murderous bastard who killed people without a second thought.
I stroked his throat, then gripped it hard.
A moment later, I let the strength drain from my fingertips and looked away from him.
Outside the window, heavy snow was falling.
White snow assaulted the pitch-black night.
I searched through his coat and pulled out his wallet.
He had quite a bit of cash.
I took whatever I could grab and tossed the wallet, now containing only cards, aside.
Looking down at the man, I whispered sweetly,
“I’ll just take payment for the bite marks on my neck for now.”
*****
It was a blizzard.
The snow blocked my view. Even when I called a taxi, none came.
There wasn’t a single person on the street at dawn. When I opened my mouth, white breath scattered into the air.
Fuck, it’s cold.
With my fingertips frozen red, I held up my phone.
Cha Seokhyeon was out.
After looking through my contacts for a moment, I called Kang Yejun.
The only members in the group with cars were Cha Seokhyeon and Kang Yejun.
Just as the ringtone was about to cut off, Kang Yejun answered.
As soon as he picked up, the rude bastard started by throwing a fit.
「Are you insane? Why are you calling me at dawn?」
“Come pick me up. I’m cold.”
「Why the hell would I pick you up?」
“Because you’re insane, so you will. I’ll send you the location. Hurry up.”
I said what I needed to say and hung up.
Kang Yejun seemed to be yelling some bullshit, but he’d come anyway. For all his pretending otherwise, that bastard listened to me pretty well.
I never thought a guy like that would kill me.
I really was too soft.
I shoved both hands into my coat pockets and looked up at the dawn sky.
Winter dawns look just like night. The long night swallows even the first light of morning.
Today, it was a dawn where cold snow swallowed the night.
In my last life, I’d only started talking properly with Kang Yejun after Cha Seokhyeon left. I’d been bored, so I started responding when he picked fights with me. Since Yoon Jiwoo had also gone on the idol debut program and was promoting with another group, the two of us ended up spending a lot of time together.
Back then, Kang Yejun would say all kinds of shit. Not just about his sex life with the gangster bastard, but plenty of gossip about other idol bastards too.
Well, considering he still contacted Yoon Jiwoo constantly, Kang Yejun must have been bored out of his fucking mind too.
Around the time the feeling in my feet started going numb, a horn honked.
Through the lowered window, I saw Kang Yejun’s ugly-ass face.
I smiled crookedly and got into the car.
“Turn up the heater.”
“You really are something else.”
He said that, but Kang Yejun dutifully turned the heater higher.
I leaned back comfortably in the passenger seat.
Because of the snow piled on the road, the car moved slowly. Even with chains on the tires, he couldn’t drive fast.
I could feel Kang Yejun glancing at me.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“I came to pick you up and you’re still bitching?”
“Got something to say?”
“…Why did you call me?”
The way he hesitated before asking was funny.
“Don’t you know Cha Seokhyeon and I fought?”
“No… Did you really fight?”
“Then what, would I fake a fight?”
“Aren’t you going to make up?”
“At my age? What kind of ‘making up’ are we talking about?”
I wanted to get back to the dorm and collapse already.
Fatigue rolled over me. I closed my eyes and let my body go slack.
I wished he’d stop talking, but Kang Yejun kept running his mouth.
And every word out of it was a masterpiece.
If you don’t make up, I’m going to steal Seokhyeon.
Don’t bitch about it later.
I felt bad because I’m going to steal Seokhyeon, so I came to pick you up today, but don’t call me again.
After rambling by himself, he suddenly stopped and let out a cautious-sounding question.
“…Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”
“Like what?”
“Why are you acting like you know me?”
“When did I ever act like I didn’t?”
“You did. You always treated me like I wasn’t even there and acted like an asshole.”
“You acted like an asshole first.”
I answered without thinking.
Sleep was pouring over me so hard I could barely register what I was saying.
“That’s because you ignored me. Are you done ignoring me now?”
“…….”
“Are you listening? What, are you asleep?”
“Yeah… I’m asleep, so shut up…….”
“Psychopath bastard. You’re so fucking annoying.”
I didn’t fall deeply asleep.
I knew that because I kept hearing Kang Yejun’s voice through my drowsiness.
If you ignore me again tomorrow, I’ll kill you.
You’re listening right now, aren’t you?
Annoying bastard. Look at him ignoring me because it’s too much trouble.
When someone comes to pick you up in weather like this, shouldn’t you at least say thank you?
Kang Yejun ranted to himself for a long time.
Then, after a while, he said quietly,
“Don’t ignore me. It feels like shit.”
Listening to that voice, I thought vaguely,
So that’s why that bastard killed me.
He really must have hated me an awful lot.