Father was a fairly upright man, which made sense, considering he had been born and raised in a family from the legal profession. His principled, cautious personality was exactly what drove Mother insane. Mother had no morals and no sense of restraint, so once she fell head over heels for Father, it was obvious what she would do. Lock up a married man, drug him, and rape him. Whenever his rage flared up, my maternal grandfather would wail, “This is my sin for giving birth to human trash!”
Naturally, Father hated Mother. Even so, maybe he felt responsible for me, because he came to see me twelve times a year. A diligent human being, that one. Even though he hated it so much he could have died, he still made sure to come once a month. Then, when his wife died young from sheer stress, he called me into his family. Mother, who had done every vile thing imaginable hoping Father’s wife would die, happily sent me over at once. It was obvious she planned to use me as a link to stay connected to Father. I was fourteen then.
My brother, five years older than me, was better than I had expected. The way his face went pale the moment he saw me, glaring like he wanted to kill me, was clumsy in a way that didn’t suit his age. The things he did were just as adorable. Not long after I moved into that house, a potted plant Father treasured was smashed. I hadn’t even known that damned plant existed, but Park Yuhyeon, who was nineteen fucking years old, falsely accused me to Father and said I had done it.
—Father, that bastard has to be insane. Why else would he break a perfectly good porcelain pot?
Even with Park Yuhyeon sneering at his side like some treacherous little courtier, Father said nothing. He seemed to want me to say something, but I only smiled and pretended not to know. That sent Park Yuhyeon into a fit. That crazy bastard is smiling right now, he said. After growing up with Mother’s family, it was my first time meeting someone this stupid, so I honestly found it hilarious.
So I decided to play along with my cute brother too. Back then, I was even kinder and more innocent than I am now. I truly, purely thought I would play with my brother. Late one night, when Father was working overtime and had not come home, I went into Park Yuhyeon’s room. He must have been a light sleeper, because he woke up quickly. Just as he was about to start bitching at the sight of me, I picked up the clock in his room and threw it.
Park Yuhyeon froze in shock. Excited by that, I started throwing everything in the room. The mug on his desk, the table clock, the picture frame, the mini humidifier. I threw everything I could get my hands on to the floor and smashed it, and Park Yuhyeon spoke in a dazed voice.
—You crazy bastard… what the hell are you doing right now……?
—I came to smash things for real, just like you told Father I did.
I smiled brightly, as if asking for praise.
—I can’t make you a liar.
—…Get out. Get out right now, you son of a bitch!
—Are you going to tell Father again?
—You think I’m just going to sit still?!
I shrugged.
—Then I’ll have to smash your skull next time.
—What…?
—Make sure you tell Father. I’m looking forward to it.
I found this game of playing brothers extremely fun. So this is what people mean when brothers roughhouse, I thought as I went back to my room. Unfortunately, Park Yuhyeon did not tattle to Father. When Father asked why his room was in that state, Park Yuhyeon glanced at me with a pale face and said, “I was stressed. I’m sorry,” then apologized.
Just as I was starting to get bored with Park Yuhyeon’s behavior, which was even more stupid and dull than I had expected, he started the brother game again. While living with Father, I started attending a prestigious private middle school. The middle school and high school were connected like an elite track. And that did not only apply to the curriculum, but to the family networks too. I didn’t know what Park Yuhyeon, who attended the high school right next door, had run his mouth about, but suddenly the kids started doing cute little things.
—Who was it? Who did this?
The textbooks on my desk had been ripped to shreds. No one answered. In the silence, my eyes turned toward the five or six guys snickering. Those bastards, then. I immediately grabbed the collar of the one who seemed to be at the center of the group. Then I kicked him in the stomach.
—Fuck, you son of a—
I kicked him in the head as he tried to get up. CRACK, went the sound of bone giving way. I beat him until he could no longer flap his mouth, until he begged me to spare him in a voice that had gone broken and strange.
A different kind of silence from before settled around us. I bent my knees, crouched down, and met his eyes. As if soothing the guy whose face had gone deathly white, I asked sweetly.
—Was it you? Hm?
—No… I mean…….
—Then why the fuck were you laughing, asshole?
I slapped him across the cheek. He burst into tears and said,
—He told me to. Yuhyeon did. I had no choice……!
—Yuhyeon? Park Yuhyeon? My brother?
—Yeah! He told us to mess with you a little, so I really… I didn’t do it because I wanted to…….
I could roughly guess what had happened. I must have looked bored, so he did this to play with me. I figured it was his own little expression of affection, and I started wondering how I should play along this time.
The guy I beat the shit out of apparently went sobbing to his father and tattled, but so what? I had my maternal grandfather behind me.
When I wasn’t punished, Park Yuhyeon tattled about that to Father too. What he tattled about was fucking hilarious. He had ordered them to bully me, and then he reported that I had committed school violence. Maybe Father considered it serious this time, because he spoke to me in a grave tone.
—Park Yuha, is that true?
—No. I think my brother misunderstood something.
When I answered innocently, Park Yuhyeon flew into another fit.
—He was hospitalized because of you, and you’re trying to play dumb?!
—Who said that? That kid? He wouldn’t say something like that.
—…Why do you think that?
—Because I never did anything like that. Do you trust that kid more than me?
When I acted shamelessly, Park Yuhyeon could only tremble with his fists clenched, unable to say a word. In the end, Park Yuhyeon failed to bully me, and I decided to play a slightly nasty prank on him for dragging Father into our brother game. The brother game was supposed to end between the two of us. He wasn’t supposed to touch Father. If I got on Father’s bad side, Mother would make sure I didn’t die pretty.
I used the guy who had gotten beaten by me to call Park Yuhyeon out. I told him to summon Park Yuhyeon vaguely, saying there was something he had to tell him about me. The guy, who had basically become my slave, did as he was told without complaint, and the stupid Park Yuhyeon followed my slave’s words and came to the roof of my school to find me. I really did not hate Park Yuhyeon. If anything, I liked him in my own way. The things he did and the way he reacted were funny.
—…Why are you here?
Park Yuhyeon frowned as he opened the rooftop door and came in. The thin summer uniform he wore fluttered in the midsummer night wind.
—Because I called you.
—You lunatic! You threatened him, didn’t you?!
—Threatened him? He and I don’t have that kind of relationship.
Ours was a relationship where master and slave gave and obeyed orders.
—Then what, are you friends? What kind of friend beats someone like that? Filthy blood never lies. You’re the same gangster piece of shit.
—When did I ever beat someone?
—Bullshit, fuck…….
—I just laid a hand on him lightly, that’s all.
When I stepped closer, Park Yuhyeon backed away. Behind him, the rooftop door shut and locked. Looked like that slave bastard had properly locked the door, exactly as I told him to. The blood drained from Park Yuhyeon’s face, and he whipped around, twisting the doorknob like a maniac. Not that it would open.
I grabbed the back of Park Yuhyeon’s head hard and threw him to the floor. Then I climbed on top of him as he coughed and pressed my left forearm against his throat. With my right hand, I pulled the jackknife I had kept in my pocket and set it against Park Yuhyeon’s cheek.
—Hey… Park Yuha, you’re really……!
—When I really decide to beat someone, that person dies.
—Get off me. Get the fuck off me, you piece of shit!
—You’re making my head ring, so shut up a little, okay?
I cut his cheek with the blade. A thin line appeared, and beads of blood welled up. Only then did Park Yuhyeon stop throwing his fit. He looked up at me with eyes full of tears. In a much better mood, I spoke gently.
—Yuhyeon. I actually like playing with you like this.
—You crazy bastard…….
—But don’t drag Father into it. If you do, I really won’t be able to play with you anymore.
I moved my hand lightly and brushed the back of the knife along Park Yuhyeon’s cheek. Park Yuhyeon gave no answer, who knew what he was thinking. I got irritated because I wanted to finish this quickly, go home, and sleep. So, as if urging him to answer, I shoved the jackknife into Park Yuhyeon’s fucking mouth. When I pressed down hard on his tongue with the knife, Park Yuhyeon cried silently and nodded frantically. See, he should have said so sooner.
I pulled the jackknife out and got off Park Yuhyeon. Park Yuhyeon covered his face with both hands and sobbed miserably. “This fucking bastard, why does someone like him… fuck, why me…….” He cried while chewing over that kind of crap, then eventually passed out. What kind of idiot was this?
It was absurd enough that a nineteen-year-old bastard had cried until he fainted, but I also couldn’t understand why he had cried in the first place. I had thought he was only stupid, but apparently he was weak-hearted too. What had I even done for him to cry? I clicked my tongue and picked up my phone. I ordered the slave bastard to open the door, then left.
It was a summer night. He wouldn’t die just because he spent one night there, would he?
Unfortunately, that slave bastard took care of Park Yuhyeon and sent him safely back to our house. The son of a bitch had a natural-born slave mentality.