Selene ordered three strawberry donuts with sprinkles, and Lily ordered an ice coffee and an old fashioned. Aiden ordered two chocolate covered glazed. The two held hands under the table while Selene slid back in her seat. The smell of newly baked pastries made Selene’s mouth water, almost delectable as the spiritsap that humans gave off, more vanilla-y and less honeyed—the smell was always better than the taste.
“Thank you for covering us. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I always have to watch out for my thralls,” Selene purred, while Lily nearly choked on her drink.
“You can’t just say that aloud.”
“Why does it bother you? You were pretty adamant about it earlier.”
Lily appeared not to notice, her face buried in her drink. “As long as we can see you again,” she mumbled.
“You won’t have to worry about that. Neither of you will remember me after the sun comes up. It will be better that way,” she said, grimacing. “You’ll be as Amelia puts it ‘on the right fuel’ and you’ll forget about me.”
“No,” Aiden said, and Selene noticed how tight Lily was gripping his hand.
“Funny, I thought you would be more worried about your family reacting to your transition instead of worrying about less important things.” She gave them both a smile that did not reach her eyes.
“What if we were actually to become your servants.” It was Aiden who spoke now.
“Tempting, but…I don’t think that’s a good idea, considering that being around me makes me so irresistible that you immediately want to be loyal to me. Not of your own will. Which is in it’s own way kind of fucked up, right?”
Lily pushed her drink back. That was good. Scare her away. The proper thing to do. It’s what I should have done with Amelia. Her thoughts hissed as she bit into the donut. Definitely not as tasty the last time she was here, having nearly this same conversation with another, the same conversation she should have had with Amelia.
“I don’t care.”
“Aiden, I’m not sure…”
“No—she saved our lives. We have to. I have to repay her.”
Selene smiled at him. “You’re very sweet, Aiden but I’ve made up my mind and there’s something else I should be doing. You’ve both been so good to me, but I must be going.”
Just like the last time.
She felt a hand on her wrist and looked down. The shape was the same. Aiden’s scent no doubt, but there was no hand on her wrist. Fascinating.
It was enough to make her stop, and sit, and ponder. “Here’s my number,” she said, giving it to Aiden. “Don’t lose it. I assume you’re tied to another now so you can share it with each other. Not anyone else. Not your friend Todd or Jeremy. I haven’t decided what to do with either of them.”
“What to do?”
“Just a figure of speech,” she said, rolling her eyes. In this case, Jeremy still scared her. As to why she was not sure. And that moment of connection there with Aiden, it was enough to make her reconsider. She had not felt that in a long time. She waved her hand, and adjusted her glasses. “Now neither of you will remember me. That will stay the same, but maybe I’ll see you around.”
“How do we make sure that doesn’t happen,” Lily said, her voice shaking.
“Trust me. I can tell by your posture that you want it to happen, and that’s not a bad thing.”
“That’s not true. Aiden is right. I’m sorry for earlier. I was just taken aback. You…without you I wouldn’t have had the courage to—”
“Dear, you were practically begging for me to help you out, and you recognized it. So please don’t be so hard on yourself. And another thing to you both. Don’t be loyal to a succubus. It will only leave you disappointed.”
“That’s not true.” Lily said. “If Aiden doesn’t remember. I will.”
“Tall words, but I suspect it’ll be bittersweet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Besides, you’re both under my influence. It’s only a succubus’s charm.”
“You can’t decide that,” Aiden’s voice said. “If I wished to walk out here right now. I would. You can’t decide what or what we do not feel.”
“And yet, you stay. So prove it.”
“But you want us to leave.”
“I wish I could turn it off,” Selene mumbled. “Better to be alone than manipulate others for my benefit.”
“And yet I was still hesitant. I didn’t follow you blindly,” Aiden said, and Selene flinched again, feeling the man’s words wrap around her. “But you eventually did.”
“Quick breathing, elevated heartbeat. Dilated pupils. Slightly but it’s noticeable. Either both of you are aroused or youre under my influence.”
“That’s the example you gave,” Lily whispered. “We’re in diner.”
“And yet no one is here.”
“Did anyone ever refuse your offer? Surely there had to be a few,” Aiden said.
“There’s been more than a handful. Only a few have remembered me. Or have endured an open relationship.”
“Your girlfriend,” Lily said.
“She’s not my girlfriend and I…need to break it off.”
“Don’t.”
“Excuse me?”
“If she dumps you you’ll know your hormones don’t work.”
“Pheromones,” Selene hissed.
“Whatever. The point is—”
“She would never dump me, although she should. I nearly killed her. I have a sneaking suspicion she was kidnapped because of me.”
Neither said anything to that. It was almost disappointing.
“Why don’t people remember you?”
“All part of the gig, as my sisters says,” Selene said. “Succubus aren’t meant to have relationships. It messes with our survival. But it can also makes us love-sick, jaded, an easy lay as if that's a problem, or most of the time lonely. Amelia was the first in a long time to remember me. It took me by surprise.”
“Do you like her?” Lily asked.
“Yes,” she answered without hesitation. “But I feel like she’s gone through a lot because of me. And I’ve seen the pattern happen before.”
“What if Amelia is different?” Lily said echoing her own thoughts, and for once she didn’t have an answer.
“What if she surprises you, and you’re closing yourself off without taking a chance. What if you’re making people forget you.”
That was too on the nose, and Selene could feel her heartbeat echoing in her chest. “That couldn’t be it,” she said. “I would…”
“Disappointment, touching the stove multiple times is hard if you’ve been burnt so many times.”
“But I’m supposed to be a succubus,” Selene mumbled. “I’m not supposed to have relationships.”
“And who decides that?” Lily asked.
“Why do you care so much?” Selene said, suddenly getting angry. This woman was prying into her life, her relationship, her preconceived notions of everything she believed in.
“Why not give Amelia that chance if you like her so much?”
“And what if it ends in flames,” Selene said, hating how spiteful it sounded.
“At least you tried.”
“I don’t mean to pontificate,” Lily said. “But this is coming from a woman who hid herself for so long, she alienated so many friends and was satisfied with being drab and droll, and content with taking a secret to the grave that shouldn’t have been buried. I shouldn’t have been buried! From friend to friend. Woman to woman. I don’t think that’s fair to do that to yourself.”
Good advice? She wasn’t sure. Stupid? A little. Naïve. Sure. But she could handle naïve. “Hold onto that phone number.”
She kissed Lily’s hand and then Aiden’s. “Come and find me,” and thank you. She was too proud to say it aloud. Thank you to you both.
Selene trudged up the stairs to Amelia’s apartment, each step heavier than the last. Let her make the decision. The words echoed. Amelia would never leave. It was always up to Selene. It was never fair. She always had to do the breaking up.
Sam lounged on couch, reading a book, cow's tail tucked beneath their legs. It lashed back and forth like an irritated cat.
“How did it go? Your date, snack, whatever you want to call it?” Not accusatory, but it stung.
Selene sighed, feeling aged by these last few days. Was she even the same person that had once offered bacon to the enby. She felt tired.
“It was a feast,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Always is,” Sam said, sitting up, flipping through, but never actually reading the page. “When you just see your potential mates as a meal.”
“It’s funny. You seem to have a problem with me, but then you’ve also been following me which is curious in itself. Is it because of my sisters or would you like a turn as well? Would you like to become one of my thralls, because clearly I can never have too many.”
“I don’t have a problem with you, Selene.” Sam said, softening. “Not all the time. I just struggle, okay. I see the way you look around Amelia, and the way she looks at you. I really do. And it’s none of my business considering what I did. At this point I can’t even be considered as a friend, much less looking out for her in her best interest. That’s Amelia’s decision. I trust in her. Also, I don’t even care that you’re proposing an open relationship. And it’s no right of mine to criticize your relationship, considering I…was wrong for her. But I’m still jealous. And I’m worried.
"The truth is…," Sam continued. "I’m following you for an entirely different reason. A very selfish reason, and when you crossed Amelia’s path, it's been difficult."
"Difficult?"
"Right. Regardless, I know I’m never going to get closure. I don’t deserve it. I’ll try to be better. But I’m not going to stop giving you shit.”
Selene didn’t expect that much from the enby. Perhaps her view of the skogsra was too short sighted.
“The miasma is bleeding into Amelia’s world, isn’t it?” The skogsra asked. “Amelia was kidnapped by a dhampir.”
“Daywalker,” Selene hissed. So it was vampires. Her blood was boiling. She was trying not to show it. Her fingernails were drawing blood.
“That's not all. Amelia went to Greenwich.”
“Oh good for her. That place is pretty cool.”
Sam coughed. “No…I found her at this site.” Sam nudged a leaflet that had been tucked inside their book and handed it to Selene. It was the piece of paper Selene had given to Amelia. “She went to go find you,” the enby said. “She was attacked.”
The thought struck Selene immediately.
“She’s hurt because of me.”
Sam shook their head as Selene slid onto the couch across from them. “Selene,” the enby continued. “That’s your den. Is it not? That means the miasma. It’s spreading to succubus territory. That’s not supposed to happen. I suspected it might be one of your sisters that's using the miasma in this world, and it’s causing a bit of a breech. Thought it’s telling you care more about your girlfriend than your home being overrun.”
I have to break it off. She can’t be my girlfriend I don’t deserve it.
“Well…I care about her. I... you mentioned you were after me for other reasons. Is the miasma that reason?”
“Sort of,” they coughed again. “I…it’s too embarrassing,” the skogsra said, while Selene crossed her arms.
“Oh fine. I’m losing my powers. The forest I was supposed to protect was devastated. I couldn't stop it, and I was away from it for too long. By the time I came back it didn’t matter."
"Is that why you left, Amelia? Sam...that's tragic."
The skogsra winced, and put the book down barely meeting her eyes. "Selene, I need you to make me into a demon.”
“You’re serious? Oh hells. You are. That’s um...surprising. I thought you hated me. Hated my kind.”
“I respect you, but I envy you,” Sam spoke plainly, red burning at their cheeks. “I’ve seen what you can do. And I’m dealing with my own jealousy right now. But I need to protect this domain especially if the miasma touches central park. We can’t have hell’s denizens settling amongst the humans. And I don't hate succubi. It's complicated.”
"Always is, but listen. Sam. The miasma. Is eviction really the answer? Maybe they need a place to go?”
“Selene, this is serious. Imagine the Ibex making deals in Timesquare. Or selkies being so effortlessly taken by the Guggenheim never being able to return to dry land, or sirens utterly captivated by Broadway.”
“Or imps making deep dish. We can't turn into Chicago," Selene made a face. "I see your point, but doesn't it sound more fun."
"Selene, I'm serious."
"Is that really much less different than what we have going on? I mean, deepdish can you imagine?”
“Selene!”
“Okay, okay, but as for the demon thing. I don’t know if I’m capable. I really don’t think I am.”
“You’ve defied what a normal succubus does with their powers. You changed a woman into a man! That’s usually done by only an incubus.”
“He was always a man,” Selene said. “I only freed his trapped spirit.”
“Fair point, but your ability to hear souls is indicative of your emotional intelligence."
"That's boring. Also inaccurate. I've left only sad souls in my wake."
"I'm sure there have been a few, but I've also seen the lives you've changed. That's something."
"Something."
For a second the skogsra seemed lost in thought as they tapped on their glass. Hot tea with lemon. Selene really wished she could have a cup right now and yet. She'd made up her mind about Amelia. At least potentially. However messy, it would have to be what it will be.
"You're going to be okay, Selene."
That's not at all what she had expected the skogsra to say.
"I hate to cut the evening short," they said but I’m going to leave you and your girlfriend be for the time being. This apartment. It's too stuffy."
"Take the couch. You can stay the night. But you're right. I'm going to crawl into bed with my girlfriend if you don’t mind.” Girlfriend. Could she commit to it? Would it be fair to Amelia? She sighed, not knowing what was the right path. All she knew is that Amelia is where she wanted to be right now.
“And Sam, one more thing,” Selene said rising from the couch, another thought or series of thoughts striking her. She exhaled. “You do deserve closure. And two, you’re way too hard on yourself for why you left. I’m sure if you explained everything to Amelia she would understand. Three, the relationship is open, but you’ll need to get that jealousy checked, and I’m not saying now, but maybe later. Since you want to be a demon and all.”
Sam’s face had turned completely crimson at this point. “What are you even suggesting?”
“There are many ways to become a demon, but I only offer the fun way, and I think you’re stunning in your own right. Am I coming on to strong? Obviously. Is it too quick? Hard to say? But I’m not going to do anything until we’ve discussed things with Amelia. And if she’s too hurt by that possibility than I can’t make that decision for her. And I respect her decision as I respect yours.”
“What even suggests that I would be willing to enter a contract such as that?”
"It's not a contract. It's a vacation."
"Lovely."
“Oh please. You haven’t stopped staring at me since we’ve met. At both of us. Don’t think I didn’t notice when we were naked. Your tail was almost as red as your face. Had to completely take the door down to distract me, but obviously it wasn’t working.”
“You would think that highly of yourself, succubus.”
“Careful, you’re the one that asked to be one.”
“I said demon.”
“Regardless, think on it,” she encompassed the skogsra in a hug, taking them by surprise. “And stop belittling yourself. You saved Amelia, didn’t you? I owe you a debt. And self-loathing is never any good for the soul. Might make the miasma come quicker.”
Sam was at a loss for words. Good, it should stay that way. For now.
"Have a good night," Selene kissed the skogsra's hand, enjoying teasing them. "Don't stay up too late listening in. Might give you some motivation. Kidding."
"You're disgusting."
"And you love it."
Sam rolled their eyes.
"Partially," the skogsra whispered, but Selene was already at the door, trying to figure out how to open it. With a deep breath she entered Amelia's room.