Amelia instinctively grabbed the hand that was resting against her stomach and held her there. The talons no longer worried her. Selene smelled of donuts, lilac perfume, salt and soap. The succubus was snoring loudly, splayed out, on her back. Occasionally she would mutter something and then her tail would wrap around one of Amelia’s legs.
Amelia could not sleep. She caressed the succubus’s hair before attempting to get up. Selene’s tail immediately nudged her back into bed. Selene whimpered and pressed her face to Amelia’s neck, settling in, she grew smaller more human, curling into her. Her tail stayed wrapped around Amelia, and she hugged Selene close while Selene responded equally, kissing Selene on the forehead. Amelia remembered Sam’s words. She had everyone looking for you
“I didn’t mean to make you worried,” Amelia sighed and Selene mumbled something again.
Even though her thoughts churned, a steady warmth settled in her belly, anchoring her. She thought of the first night she had met Selene. Her eyes studying her—not with judgment, just waiting, considerate, like the words she said mattered. A little bit of teasing in that gaze, wanting to coax more out of her, bring her walls down and pheromones. Amelia tensed and Selene mumbled. This time she could hear her. “Amelia your socks are too tight.”
“I’m not wearing socks, silly,” she said as Selene breathed into her collar, pulling her into her grasp and tracing circles across her back.
She wanted to dive in like all the other times, but she was paralyzed. She could handle all the sex, the attachment, but how could she be with this wonderful girl if she was inadvertently manipulating her emotions? Making her heart ache so much.Making her doubt that she could be with anyone as long as she didn’t have to bury herself so deep down, convince herself that she was worthy of that deep yearning to be seen as she was.
And yet Selene had stayed. She had made that okay. Would it just be so bad to see where this goes? A small voice said. A growing voice. Selene’s warmth, her heartbeat so close, so comforting. This was different from all the times that they had slept together. This was more steady. Steady was fine.
Selene stirred and Amelia could feel a budding warmth as the succubus looked her over. “You’re okay.” Her eyes were brighter than Amelia remembered. The curtains were still drawn, and yet the sun still hadn’t come up. Amelia didn’t feel cornered. She felt wanted. This felt familiar. Right, this was Selene. Her heartbeat sped up. “I was so worried,” Selene said as Amelia reached out to brush the tear away. Selene held her hand on her cheek. “I should have been there.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“What if it…happens again?”
“It won’t.” Her arm snaked around Selene’s waist and grabbed for her hand, Selene’s fingers meeting hers. “I’m sorry for everything I said.”
“It’s okay.”
“No it’s not. I didn’t…I’m still scared that you’ll leave someday.” Admitting that felt like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. “But if you do...please let me come with you.” Wherever you go I want to be there.
“Amelia.”
“I’m serious. It’s not a request.”
“I’ll consider it.”
“No consideration. You’re mine.”
A warm blush colored Selene’s face. “Okay,” she said, barely getting the words out. Amelia liked that on her.
“Now does my good girl deserve a reward for checking up on me?”
Selene made a small noise in the back of her throat and she moved Amelia’s hand to her breast. Amelia responded kissing Selene on the forehead. “I’m going to take such good care of you.” Then kissing her mouth before she could say anything, nibbling on her lip. “You drive me crazy,” she whispered in her ear. Kisses trailing down her neck.
“Amelia, wait. I just. I’m not in the right headspace right now, shit. I didn’t…”
Amelia rested her head on Selene’s stomach, Selene resting her hands on Amelia’s back. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
“I should have been there.”
Amelia kissed Selene’s stomach. “Sam said you tried to find me for several days. That you reached out to them, and tried to get others involved as well. You can’t blame yourself.”
“It feels wrong not to.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But what if it happens again? What if you get hurt because of me?”
Amelia kissed Selene’s hand, feeling the weight of those words.
“Maybe you could…no it’s stupid.”
“No, what.”
“I’ve been thinking about it but is there any way you could change me, ya know to be like you?”
“Amelia.”
“Then I wouldn’t have to be your meal, and you could show me how to, I don’t know be safer.”
“Amelia.”
“I’m sorry, it was a dumb request.”
Selene said something underneath her breath. “It’s your humanity, Amelia. Not that I don’t think you can handle it, but it would change you forever.”
Amelia shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
Selene grimaced.
“We could also gauge if your infatuation is still a thing if you want. I turn into a succubus and..”
“If you’re no longer attracted to me, you’re what? Free to go.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not going anywhere, Selene. I mean that.”
I want to believe that and yet…” Selene sighed. “If you did make the decision to go, I would…still want you in my life.”
Amelia relaxed as Selene braided her hair. Then she spoke as if she was swallowing glass. “It would be a good litmus test. Even though it would tear me apart if you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Aww you really think that much of me?”
“Now’s not the time to be a brat, Amelia.”
“I know. I’m teasing,” and Selene laughed, the smile finally reaching her eyes. It looked dazzling on her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Selene.”
“That’s what you say right now, but hey…if you make that decision, it would be wrong of me to…it would…I would honor your decision, Amelia.”
Amelia felt Selene trace circles around her back again. “How long have you been thinking about this,” and Amelia looked up. Selene was nearly going to pieces despite her earlier moment of reprieve. Amelia kissed her hand again and Selene rubbed her eyes.
“Since you mentioned how you can change other peoples’ genders, alter their shapes. I…want to be a part of that. Since you changed Bea.”
“Do you want that too?”
Amelia couldn’t help it. She made a face. “Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I want to change parts about my body. Bigger hips, tighter waist, bigger boobs, maybe even a smaller forehead.”
Selene didn’t laugh. Her eyes searched her own, and kissed her on the forehead. “You have a very nice forehead,” Selene teased and Amelia shut her eyes.
“Why do you have to be like that?”
“Cringey? You like it.”
“I do. I have a crush on a cornball.”
Selene inhaled at that, and tilted her chin up. “You are beautiful, Amelia.”
“I don’t know sometimes. I just want to be prettier. Not have to fake it as much. Longer hair, sharper nails. I’m lucky enough to be short, but…”
Selene planted a kiss on her forehead. “You are not faking anything. You, my gorgeous girl are perfect.”
"Perfectly stupid."
"Oh don't be like that. Come here my darling." Amelia rested her head on Selene's thigh as she played with her hair some more.
"It's just difficult sometimes. Thinking I'm not enough."
"But you are," Selene whispered. " and as the succubus of the four burrows I can attest that your shape proves it."
“The four burrows," Amelia snorted. "A little proud there for a girl who was claiming she couldn’t protect me.”
Selene paused. “And they won’t get another chance to snatch you from me. I’d tear them to pieces.”
“Definitely a cornball.”
“Definitely.” Selene beamed. “Is there anything else that you were thinking of changing?”
“I kind of want… maybe want thicker thighs, okay definitely thicker thighs—" and here was the hard part. “Maybe even get rid of my dick. Only for a little bit. I’ve never been too dysphoric about it, but I’d like to give it a shot.”
Selene nodded. “I can do that for you. I might miss her a little but it’ll be interesting to say the least. You’re gorgeous either way, obviously.”
Amelia blushed even harder. “Selene.”
“What? It doesn’t matter what parts my girlfriend has. I’ll adore her either way, right?”
Girlfriend.
“Right.”
“And as for your request to be a succubus, definitely not off the table. But I think we should give it some thought, if that’s okay with you?”
“You’ll consider it?”
“Of course," Selene's hands closed around her own. But I want you to think it over to make sure it’s really what you want. It’s not that I don’t think you can handle it or that you’re not capable. I’m not going to push you in either direction. I just want to let you sit with it for a bit, and I’ll support you through it no matter what.”
“That’s more than fair. It's more than what I deserve.”
"Nonsense." Selene clicked her tongue. “And for the record, you would be an amazing succubus,” Selene said pulling Amelia into her lap, stroking her hair. “Maybe a little bit of a gremlin.”
“I can’t compete.”
Amelia giggled as Selene nibbled on her earlobe.
“We’ll see.”