The bedroom was quiet compared to the fistfight happening down in the hole. I tumbled off the rope, landed lightly on the big rug, and slithered straight back onto my favorite cushion at the foot of the bed. My body was still totally invisible, but my stomach felt huge and stiff from holding all ten boxes of royal medicine.
’System,’ I thought, curling my three-foot ribbon body into a tight coil. ’My inner lining is packed to maximum capacity. If I don’t unload these boxes soon, my scales are going to stretch out permanently.’
[System: Just keep your mouth shut, you stupid snake. You’re a walking storage unit right now. If you pop a leak, this whole room will smell like high-grade magic fluid. Just lay low.]
A second later, the door open.
Suzy walked in, quickly closing the door behind her and sliding the wooden latch into place. Her face was flushed, and her breath was coming out fast. Her long hair was a bit wild around her shoulders. She looked completely stressed out from dealing with the royal team downstairs.
"Barry?" she called out in a low, frantic whisper, her black eyes scanning the empty room. "Are you back yet? The guards downstairs are starting to get suspicious because the Inspector hasn’t come up from the cellar."
I didn’t answer right away. I was too tired to start the conversation.
Suzy let out a long, exhausted sigh, rubbing her temples with both hands. "Uggh, my head is splitting. Five years of trade school didn’t prepare me for a royal audit."
Still looking completely drained, she walked straight over to the foot of the bed. Before I could even register the trajectory of her hips, she dropped her entire body right down onto the cushion to take off her boots.
Squish.
My entire invisible body was flattened instantly under her seat.
"Eeeek!" Suzy shrieked, jumping into the air like she had just stepped on a hot coal. She spun around, her face turning a bright shade of crimson as her eyes locked onto the empty velvet cushion. Her hands instantly flew down to cover her back waist, her breath catching in her throat as she realized exactly what—or who—she had just sat on.
A line of text flashed right onto the white bedsheets between her feet.
[BARRY: Director, your corporate weight distribution is highly concentrated. You nearly turned your secret weapon into a flat piece of paper.]
"Barry!" Suzy yelled, her voice hitting a high pitch as she grabbed a spare pillow and held it in front of her chest, her face burning with embarrassment. "Why didn’t you say something?! You’re completely invisible! How am I supposed to know you’re using my footstool as a nap zone?!"
[BARRY: I was recovering from a major field audit, Suzy. I swallowed all ten boxes of your illegal inventory, ran up a rope, and you immediately used me as a chair. I believe this violates several workplace safety laws.]
Suzy stared at the text, her jaw parting slightly as her anger turned into total shock. She stepped closer to the cushion, looking down at the empty space where she could feel the warm, zapping magic energy radiating from my core. "You... you actually got the boxes? All ten of them?"
[BARRY: They’re sitting right inside my stomach. Along with the Founder’s Soul Stone. I completely cleared the room.]
Suzy dropped the pillow onto the bed, her black eyes widening to the size of coins. She leaned over the mattress, her face coming just inches away from my invisible nose. Her breath smelled like sweet mint, and I could see the tiny silver streaks in her hair shining in the morning light. "You swallowed the soul stone too? The one from the ancient vault?"
[BARRY: Tasted like dry ice. It pushed my human compatibility bar straight up to ninety percent. I’m only ten percent away from getting my human body back, manager. But the system says I’m stuck until I get a royal catalyst.]
Suzy sat down on the edge of the actual wooden bed frame this time, keeping her distance from my cushion. Her expression went from surprised to deeply serious. "A royal catalyst? Barry... the stone Marcus drank downstairs was made from the blood of Lord Raymond. The royal family carries a specific type of ancient lineage magic in their veins. If your system needs a royal spark to complete the transformation..."
Before she could finish her sentence, a violent pounding rattled the main bedroom door from the hallway outside.
"Director Suzy!" the Commander’s voice shouted sounding completely panicked. "Open the door! The two royal guards just crawled up from the basement chute! They’re bleeding, their clothes are torn, and they claim Inspector Marcus has been possessed by a demon that makes him scream about customer service! The whole royal team is drawing their swords!"
The door didn’t just rattle from the pounding outside—it began to crack down the center line.
"Director Suzy!" the Commander’s voice through the door wasn’t just panicked; it sounded completely desperate. "They brought a Royal Nullfire crystal! The audit team has shut down the main guild defense line! They are breaking through the building floor by floor!"
Suzy stood up from the bed , her face instantly losing all its remaining color. Her eyes locked onto the empty space above my velvet cushion. The funny, flustered mood from a moment ago vanished completely.
"A Nullfire crystal," she whispered, her hands visibly shaking as she reached down to check the silver daggers at her waist. "Prince Raymond didn’t just send an audit team, Barry. He sent a suppression squad. They aren’t here to look at paperwork. They are here to erase this branch."
I tried to uncoil my body to slide off the cushion, but a sharp, burning pain flared right through my middle section.
[SYSTEM WARNING: Storage Capacity Overload.]
- Ten Boxes of Royal Mana Potions (Unprocessed Biomass).
- Founder’s Soul Stone (90% Integration Stalled).
- Current Penalty: Movement speed reduced by 80%. ’Shadow Step’ temporarily locked due to internal core instability.
’Shit,’ I thought, my yellow eyes flickering out of thin air for a split second as my invisibility lagged. ’System, I can’t move. My spine feels like it’s made of solid lead.’
[System: I told you not to eat the boxes whole, you greedy stupid snake! The raw magic fluid inside your stomach is reacting with the unfinished soul stone energy. You are physically too heavy to slither, let alone use stealth. If you take one hard hit right now, your core will literally crack open.]
Suddenly doors burst inward, flying off their hinges and slamming flat onto the rug. Five royal guards stepped into the bedroom, their faces completely cold beneath their silver helmets. They weren’t the low-level grunts from the forest or the basement. These men wore dark purple capes over their silver breastplates, and their long swords were humming with a faint, dangerous red light.
Walking behind them was the Inspector with the monocle. His face was covered in scratches, his purple cloak was torn from the basement fight, and his eyes were bloodshot with pure, venomous hatred. The effect of The Karen Protocol had faded, leaving him completely humiliated and looking for blood.
"Search her!" the Inspector snarled, pointing his gold cane straight at Suzy’s face. "She sabotaged the lower cells! She is concealing the missing royal assets, and she has a rogue magical entity helping her!"
The five guards moved instantly, forming a tight semicircle around Suzy, their long blades leveled at her throat. The Commander was pinned against the wall outside, held down by three other royal soldiers with spears.
Suzy didn’t back down. She drew her two runic daggers, the steel blades humming softly, but the sheer difference in power was obvious. The red light from their swords was completely dampening the magic in her own weapons.
"Inspector," Suzy said, her voice steady but tight. "You are entering a high-tier merchant zone without a warrant from the High Chancellor. This is an illegal raid."
"The Prince’s word is the warrant, Director," the Inspector sneered, stepping closer. He looked around the room, his eyes suddenly stopping on the velvet cushion at the foot of the bed.
Because my camouflage was lagging from the potion overload, a faint, watery outline of my three-foot, lumpy snake body was visible right against the dark fabric.
"Well, well," the Inspector whispered, a nasty, sharp grin spreading across his face as he raised his heavy cane. "What do we have here? A little black worm trying to hide in the blankets? Guards, split it open!"
The lead guard stepped forward, raising his long sword high above his shoulder, aiming a fatal downward strike straight at my neck.
I couldn’t dodge. I couldn’t run. My system options were completely frozen. For the first time since waking up in this fantasy world, pure, unadulterated danger stared me right in the face and i can’t even do anything. this is worst feeling ever.