-Roy Raynolds-
With the valis we got yesterday, we settled near a fountain close to the Dungeon’s entrance. Bell, the adorable bunny that she was, had her ears flat against her skull as she bit into this world’s version of a wrap.
I got myself one packed with meat, cheese, and spices because you can never go wrong with stuffing your face with meat—Pause—and cheese.
Bell, instead, got one with less meat but much more veggies. And, while I’m no fan of lettuce, the crunch of that wrap was making me consider stealing a bite.
‘It makes sense.’ I hummed. ‘Shit has no chemicals, and they are probably grown around the city or very near it. Not any of that ultra-processed bullshit—’
‘’A-and that’s the gist of it…’’ Bell finished with a sigh, as if resigned. ‘’We can’t really guarantee you’ll have the best start, b-but Lady Hestia is very caring and an incredible person!’’
‘Hm? Oh, right, Bell was trying to either dissuade me or incite me into joining her Familia for some reason.’ I reminded myself and put on a perfect poker face to try to appear as if I was paying attention.
By Midna’s snickers and the little forearm hitting my side, she definitely caught on.
‘’Bell, I don’t—’’
‘’A-and sure! We may not have a proper house! But… but I bet we can get an extra bed!’’
‘’Bell—‘’
‘’But I understand if that’s… not what you expected. I’m very sorry!’’
Mildly annoyed at being interrupted twice, no matter how adorable it was, by this self-deprecating bun-bun, I did what any man in my position would.
I pet the bunny.
Bell’s word vomit ceased entirely as her spine went rigid. Her ears, once floppy, stood straight at attention and twitched, like adorable, fluffy antennas.
Mouth hanging wide open, Bell stared at me as if I had just made a thug bite the curb and pissed on the sidewalk. Her pale cheeks burst into pink, to the point it made me wonder how much blood the girl had in her system to cause an anime-like full-body blush.
‘’Can I speak now, or do you like the sound of your own voice that much?’’ I asked boredly. ‘’I mean, it’s cute and all, but we are burning daylight here.’’
‘’Atta boy!’’ Midna whispered from my side, cackling all the while.
She was chill like that.
Bell’s mouth opened wider, but seeing as my hand did not back down, she merely closed her word-hole shut and nodded shyly.
‘’You’re saying way too much. For a moment there, it almost felt like you were giving me reasons not to join your Familia—’’ I deadpanned. Bell’s eyes widened in shock, but I made grabby motions with the hand on her hair, shutting her up instantly. ‘’—I’m still talking. Haa… seriously, if your idea was to make me not want to join, that was one good sales pitch.’’
Seeing panic enter her gaze and making Bell’s ears droop, I felt an uncomfortable tug at my heart. ‘Shut up, love for cute things. I’m cooking here.’
I promptly ignored that I was speaking to myself and finally decided to stop teasing the bun.
‘’That being said, I don’t give like, a single fuck.’’ I stated, shrugging, which now made Bell’s face scrunch up in confusion. As fun as it was looking at her drastically changing expression, I turned to Midna with a raised eyebrow. ‘’Midna, do you have any fucks to give?’’
The goblin’s sharp grin made Bell flinch slightly as Midna shook her head. ‘’Absolute zero fucks. In fact, since it’s evading taxes we are speaking about, they owe me one whole fuck!’’
‘’Damn right.’’ I nodded wisely, turning back to Bell. ‘’So, as you now understand the amounts of fuck we give. Can we join your poor-ass Familia to evade taxes or nah?’’
Bell was, of course, completely stunned in silence at our wise conversation. I, too, would have been astonished if I witnessed Aristoteles and Socrates having a chat of pure, unadulterated facts.
However, the shock wore off quickly as Bell actually smiled. A precious little gesture that made my treacherous heart thump faster, and made even Midna cover her eyes while hissing something along the lines of ‘way too bright!’
‘’Y-yes! I would love to!’’ Bell eagerly agreed, only to pause and drop her excitement as a sheepish expression took its place. ‘’Ah, but… It’s not me who decides who enters and who doesn’t. Y-you’ll need to ask Lady Hestia, but I bet she’ll be glad to have you!’’
‘’Tight.’’ I gave a thumbs-up with my free hand. ‘’So… we go to your house now, or…?’’
Midna snorted, probably amusing herself with some sort of innuendo.
‘’Actually…’’ Bell’s smile got tighter, nervous, as she averted her gaze. ‘’Lady Hestia works at a Jagamarukun post during the day. It would be easier to find her once the sun settles and—‘’
‘’Yo, Midna.’’ I grinned. ‘’I’m feeling like feeding a homeless Goddess today. Watcha’ think?’’
‘’There better be a discount!’’ She replied eagerly.
‘God, I taught her so well.’ I could almost shed a tear of joy.
‘’W-wait. She could get in trouble if you bother her too much—‘’ Squish. Pat. Pat. ‘’A-and could you please release my ears already?!’’
Her mortified tone and blushing face did not dissuade me at all from teasing the bun.
-X-x-X-
‘That’s a big ass-line for some potato puffs.’ I scratched my chin, noticing the attendee currently preparing a middle-aged lady a pair of potato puffs with a big smile on her face. ‘And that’s… Hestia? The Hestia?’
When the word ‘Goddess’ came to mind, the least I expected was a girl who could barely reach my chest and with a happy-go-lucky smile while wearing what was essentially a worn-out ribbon-tied white dress with plenty of cleavage and a pair of used sandals.
Also, she had a little hat with the word ‘Jagamarukun’ on it, which I wasn’t sure whether to consider cute or depressing.
The supposed Goddess of the Hearth, reduced to working customer service at a potato puff stand.
The fucking government—or this city, at least—managed to make a Goddess try to achieve economic stability by working a dead-end job. Praise where it’s due; that’s fucking impressive.
‘It seems I have greatly underestimated the magic shadow-government…’ I frowned.
‘’Aren’t you going to eat anything, um… Miss Midna?’’ Bell asked, confused about how she should address the goblin who, much to my amusement, was still shorter than the shortstack-goddess. ‘’You didn’t eat anything with us… Are you feeling unwell?’’
Midna, being the charmer that she was, merely grinned up at the taller bunny-hume. ‘’Aren’t you an adorable lil’ bun—’’
‘’B-bun…?’’ Bell choked out a whisper under her breath, ears twitching.
‘’—Don’t you worry. Let’s just say…’’ Suddenly, Midna’s lone red eye found me, and the grin on her face gained a flirtatious edge. ‘’I got filled pretty well this morning~’’
Bell, bless her heart, merely tilted her head to the side in confusion, causing one of her ears to droop with the motion.
‘’Don’t teach Bell weird shit, Midna.’’ I chastised with a huff. ‘’…Not until we teach her about taxes.’’
‘’Aye, aye!’’ The goblin cheered with a mock salute.
‘’…Taxes?’’ Bell asked, frowning in confusion.
She really was too innocent for this world. For the cruel, cruel world of paying for shit that should be free.
Unbeknownst to us and due to my lack of attention, we had made it to the front of the line.
‘’Welcome to Jagamaru-kuisine! We have the best Jagamarukun this side of Orario! What can I delight your palate with—Little Bell?’’ The Goddess’s painfully rehearsed introduction was cut off as her blue eyes went from me to the bunny girl. ‘’What are you doing here? I thought you were going to the Dungeon today again?’’
‘’G-goddess!’’ Bell stepped forward. Even with her supposed patron, the bunny girl remained as nervous as ever as she looked between Hestia and us. ‘’These are, uh…’’
‘’Hello, Goddess of the Hearth.’’ I interrupted, drawing Hestia’s attention back to me as I placed a hand on my chest and another on top of Midna’s mask-covered head. ‘’I’ll make this real quick. We need to avoid paying taxes, but we also need to be Adventurers to get bread in our wallets. So, does this need an interview or…?’’
Confused, Hestia turned back to her child, who, much to my amusement, merely sighed and nodded. ‘’Mr. Roy and Miss Midna are looking for a Familia to join.’’
Now that made the petite Goddess’s head turn hard enough to give her whiplash, her blue eyes widened in surprise as I nodded. ‘’Yep. Pretty much.’’
Turning to Midna gave the same result. ‘’Might be fun for shit and giggles.’’
A bunch of conflicting emotions appeared on the Goddess’s expression, from happiness to suspicion, to panic, and every little bit in between.
I don’t know, I just thought that she would be more excited, considering how Bell told us the list of extensive failures of her Goddess in recruiting people, but maybe I misjudged.
This was supposedly still the first daughter of Chronos. So, the standard for joining her must still be pretty high—
‘’I would be glad to!’’ Hestia replied with a thousand-watt smile. Only to pause and cough in her palm. ‘’I-I mean. Yes, we are currently accepting members…’’
Never mind then.
‘’Hey, what’s taking you so long?’’ I heard someone complain behind us. ‘’There are people who need to go about their day, you know?’’
‘’The clients…!’’ Hestia panicked, looking between us and the warm potato puffs she was selling, as if torn between two. ‘’I…’’
‘’Don’t worry, Lady Hestia.’’ Surprisingly, it was Bell who stepped in with a determined expression on her face. On her head, the same hat that Hestia was wearing appeared from… somewhere. And unlike the meek attitude she had shown up until now, she seemed ready. ‘’I can attend to the customers while you speak with them!’’
Hestia’s eyes widened, mouth agape. ‘’B-bell...’’ Was she tearing up? I think she was tearing up.
Somehow, this felt way more tense than it should be.
‘’Sooo…’’ I coughed, trying to clear the awkwardness. ‘’About that interview?’’
‘’Yes!’’ Hestia turned back to us, having put down her hat and gesturing to follow her. ‘’Please come with me. I know a place where we can chat much more comfortably!’’
Follow the minimum-wage-Goddess, it was, then.
-X-x-X-
We were hushed inside a library. One of those fantasy libraries with bookshelves as tall as the roof and a mysterious old lady manning the front desk.
Before she could give me my magic wand, only for the government to try and take it away from me, Hestia talked in some hushed whispers to the lady. After getting a silent nod back, the Goddess smiled happily and left a potato puff on the counter before gesturing us deeper into the library.
‘Did… did she just pay that woman with a potato puff?’ I wondered. ‘This is next level of poor.’
Honestly, I could get used to this ‘God’ stuff if they were this funny.
As we landed upon an old wooden table out of the way, around the corner of two sets of bookshelves, Midna’s face scrunched up as she sniffed. ‘’Are we getting merked here?’’
‘’Maybe?’’ I replied doubtfully. ‘’I mean, unless the whole ‘becoming an adventurer’ is actually just slavery and necromancy mixed in.’’
‘’…Too much work.’’ Midna decided, and I had to agree.
‘’What are you two whispering about?’’ Hestia asked. The petite Goddess turned around, hands on her hips, and looked at us like we were weirdos. ‘’Ah… Sorry about pulling you all the way here. I didn’t even ask if you were hungry beforehand. Here.’’
And as the petite Goddess sat down, she put two potato puffs wrapped up in front of her. While Midna seemed to be led by her stomach as she sat down and immediately swiped one of the wrapped-up fried delicacies, I couldn’t help but wonder where Hestia was pulling those from, because that dress sure as hell didn’t have any pockets.
‘Is it a titty pocket?’ I wondered, stealing one glance at her prominent cleavage while I took a seat. The round, gravity-defying globes of flesh were barely contained by the cloth and ribbons of Hestia’s outfit— ‘Holy shit, it may be a titty pocket. This is titty potato puff.’
Hestia cleared her throat. Her warm, blue eyes suddenly became sharp as she looked between Midna and me. Now, without the silly hat or overly cheery attitude, I felt a sudden pressure settle on my spine, almost like I was sitting in the principal’s office after throwing a chair through the window.
Without a shadow of a doubt, every nerve in my body informed me that this was, indeed, a Goddess.
‘…Aura-maxxing.’ I pursed my lips, pinching my own hands in an attempt not to laugh at my own stupidity.
‘’I may not look like much, but I have had more than a few… unsavory adventurers try to join my Familia before,’’ Hestia announced with a flat, cold tone. A serious frown settled on her round and cute face. ‘’So, just to be sure. Why do you want to join my Familia?’’
Midna turned to face me, and so did I look at her. Both of us paused for a moment… before shrugging.
‘’We want to avoid taxes,’’ I repeated plainly, causing Hestia to blink. ‘’We tried adventuring without a Familia, and apparently it’s illegal or some bullshit.’’
‘’They almost kicked us to the curb with a bunch of glowy snacks and not a single coin!’’ Midna followed with her own complaint. Her face torn between her permanent grin and a scowl. ‘’Roy here managed to convince that cold-turkey wolf woman and get us a room.’’
‘’Buuut… she did say we should show up again today.’’ I sighed. ‘’Preferably with a Familia.’’
For some reason, Hestia’s shoulders relaxed. Her stare didn’t hold the same intensity as before. Yet, there was still some degree of suspicion.
‘’Considering Bell was the one who brought you… Can I assume you two were the ones who helped her yesterday?’’ Hestia asked next.
‘’Sure did,’’ I said confidently. ‘’Not going to lie. Part of it may have been because she’s as cute as a button.’’
‘’Mad adorable.’’ Midna nodded with a grin. ‘’Especially when her ears droop.’’
‘’Right?!’’ Hestia exclaimed, slamming her gloved hands against the table, which echoed in the empty library.
A simple hiss, no doubt coming from the lady at the front, was the response to Hestia’s outburst.
That pause was enough for the Goddess to cough awkwardly and sit back down, rosiness plastered on her cheeks. ‘’I mean… Of course. My little Bell has that effect on people… So, that brings me to my last question.’’
The small bit of tension that we managed to clear came back with a vengeance as Hestia rested her chin on her closed fists and stared us dead in the eye.
‘’Since you will be adventuring with Bell from now on, and you, at least, seem to be more experienced…’’ Hestia started, posture tense. ‘’Could you promise me you’ll look after her down there?’’
‘’...Shit, I guess.’’ I shrugged.
Not only did Hestia’s eyes narrow, but so did Midna elbow my side, making me choke down a wheeze.
‘’It was a joke, a joke, damn…’’ I huffed and took a deep breath, staring Hestia in the eye. ‘’I promise to look after that nervous wreck of a bunny, yes.’’
‘’We’ll be watching that bun-bun’s back for sure~’’ Said Midna, winking at the Goddess.
‘I don’t think she meant looking at her ass, Midna.’ I deadpanned, but decided not to call her out on it.
After a tense pause, all tension left Hestia’s shoulders, and a relieved and happy expression replaced her suspicious face.
‘’I’m glad… I wasn’t that sure of leaving Bell to travel all the way down on her own…’’ Hestia sighed in relief, but she was very bad at hiding the eagerness in her voice. ‘’Now… strip!’’
‘’Ohoho?’’ Midna’s lone eye widened, as did her grin. ‘’This Familia thing may be more fun than I thought!’’
…Zamn?
…
It was safe to say that Midna was left disappointed. Or, well, half-disappointed at least. She was getting some eye-candy right now.
On a lone, standing mirror, I saw my own reflection. Fair complexion. Not many muscles to speak of, but not skinny either. Brown hair combed wildly by my fingers this morning, and most importantly, back facing the mirror as I tried to look at the tattoo now taking most of it.
Almost as if printed on black ink, the form of a hearth had appeared on my back. The half-circle held a raging fire, or a warm campsite, whichever the viewer preferred to interpret it as.
‘A fire that always burns…’ I remembered before looking at the sheet of paper given to me by Hestia.
[Roy Raynolds.]
Species: [Human.]
Status:
[Level: 1.]
[Strenght: I-15]
[Endurance: I-27]
[Dexterity: I-9]
[Agility: I-10]
[Magic: I-0]
Skills:
[Monster Taming(?)]
Magic:
[-]
It didn’t surprise me that my Endurance was my highest stat. Not only was I the one carrying Midna around, but that goblin was an insatiable beast.
Still…
‘Isn’t this lacking information?’ I frowned, looking at the paper twice for good measure. ‘I know my skill can do a lot more than that, but it doesn’t reflect on the paper… Also, no magic. Huge L.’
‘’Monster Taming is a pretty weird Skill to start with—Actually, the most normal is to not start with one at all,’’ Hestia explained proudly. ‘’Still, it could save you some money if you could tame a goblin to carry your magic stones and drops instead of a supporter!’’
You don’t even know half of it, Goddess.
When I turned around, Hestia was on a couch, on top of Midna’s prone form. The girl’s cloak had been raised, revealing delicious pale and dark skin. Just like she had done for me moments before, the Goddess was in the middle of pricking her finger to let a drop of blood onto the goblin’s back.
However, the Goddess paused, narrowing her eyes at me for some reason.
‘’What?’’ I asked, confused.
‘’You…’’ Hestia started, only to get interrupted by Midna.
‘’Don’t worry your pretty little head.’’ She chuckled, shooting me a mischievous grin. ‘’Tall and handsome there is allowed to check the goods~’’
Hestia blinked, eyes widening in realization. ‘’Oh… Oh! Sorry to assume. I’ll just… get this done with, hehehe…’’
Ah, she thought I was trying to take a peek. Which, technically, I was, but I knew the black goblin wouldn’t mind a single bit—
Wait.
‘Can… Can monsters even get a God’s blessing?’ I wondered. A tad too late at that, as Hestia’s finger let a single drop of divine blood fall onto Midna’s exposed back. ‘’Wait—!’’
As the drop of ichor touched Midna’s back, it felt like the world… stopped.
For a few seconds, I felt that ‘pull’, the one that let me tame monsters, flare up tremendously. My vision blurred, and the only thing that I could see was… a Dragon.
The epitome of Monsterkind. Robust scales and hide that could take the most debilitating blows. Flesh-tearing jaws and claws capable of ripping mountains apart. Wings that could soar the skies effortlessly or beat in quick succession to bring catastrophe.
And on the other side, I saw the flame. Pure and divine, somehow mixing the concept of both Home and Destruction. From a simple kindle, to a cozy chimney, and then the angry righteousness of the all-cleansing wildfire.
The flames licked at the Dragon’s scales. Burned it, even, but fire, even a divine one, could only do so much when faced with a walking calamity.
Claws swiped, wings beat, and the fire receded, conceding defeat. And the dragon? It proved merciful as it did dangerous.
The world regained its color. Midna’s eyes were wide as plates, her body completely still.
A nervous sweat broke out on the back of my head.
And Hestia? The Goddess looked horrified at the goblin’s back, where a tattoo of a black dragon, mid-flight and coiled like a serpent, had manifested. A tattoo that I felt a very strong connection to.
‘…I think that tattoo infringes copyright somehow.’ I scratched my chin. ‘Also, I never thought a piece of tattooed ink could be such a dramatic bitch.’
Hestia’s head snapped back to me. Those blue, intense eyes practically seeing through me. And I didn’t know if it was the Goddess’ mark on my back or just how royally fucked over we might be right now, but that gaze felt much, much more condemning than the ones before.
‘’I, uhh… bleh?’’
‘’Explain.’’ The Goddess’s tone was final, and I knew for a fact that shit wasn’t a request, but a demand. ‘’Now.’’
-X-x-X-
We had to switch places. We could no longer stay at the library, given the noise we were making. Instead, Midna and I found ourselves in Hestia’s home. Specifically, the ruined church part that—in her own words—had a cozy basement below.
‘Bitch you live like this?’ That’s what I wanted to say, but resisted the urge to.
‘’So… If I get this straight.’’ Hestia was clutching her temple, leaning against one of the half-destroyed pews. Her face was scrunched up in an adorable pout that awakened aggressive cuteness overload in my head.
‘’You.’’ She pointed at me with an accusatory finger. ‘’Can tame monsters. Give them a conscience, and make them be…’’ Hestia had to gesture to Midna’s entire body with a crazed look. ‘’…All that!’’
‘’Ye-p.’’ I nodded.
‘’And you.’’ The frantic Goddess then pointed at Midna, who gave her biggest, ticket-winning smile. ‘’You can… speak, talk! I thought you were a Pallum! A particularly weird Pallum, but not a monster!’’
‘’Yu-p.’’ The goblin imitated me with a shit-eating grin.
‘’WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE YOU’RE TELLING THE TRUTH?!’’ Hestia grabbed at her ponytails, pulling so hard that I thought she might suddenly rip her scalp off.
Though her words made me frown.
‘’What do you mean?’’ I asked, pushing myself off the broken pillar I was leaning against. ‘’We are telling the truth.’’
‘’Yes, I know that. Mortals can’t lie to Gods—‘’ We can’t what? Excuse-fucking-me? I did not consent to no midget-sized polygraph! ‘’But it’s… It’s insane! Even the Ganesha Familia can only make monsters obey them as long as they are supplied with Mind! To maintain a single Irregular Monster, even a goblin, with so many… strange abilities, it would have insane costs!’’
‘’Oh, he filled me up alright.’’ Midna quipped with a grin that made my body lock up. ‘’All topped up. Bursting with all the ‘’mind’’ he pumped into me…’’
Hestia was not as innocent as Bell, because she caught the innuendo immediately, and then turned to me with a face that reflected equal disgust and second-hand embarrassment.
‘’You… You layed with a monster. With a goblin.’’ She said.
‘’Well, if you come with an integrated lie detector, there’s not much purpose to denying it, is there?’’ I snorted. ‘’But for real, could you blame me? Look at the curves on that sexy imp.’’
As if to prove my example, Midna winked and started floating, lying in the air with her whole goblin-bakery facing us while she looked back with a grin. For a moment, I even thought she would spank herself to prove a point.
‘’My newest child is a complete degenerate…’’ Hestia was now actively sulking in a corner, palming her face. It was so sulky, in fact, that I almost could see the rain cloud on top of her head. ‘’And he has a monster running around the city… I’m getting kicked back to Tenkai… Uhhhh…’’
‘’I think we broke her,’’ I said, turning to Midna.
‘’Lucky her. I certainly want to be broken in.’’ The pretend-imp huffed, holding her face and pouting.
‘’I’m serious, Midna.’’ I rolled my eyes.
‘’So am I, hoomie.’’ She quipped back.
Midna’s forwardness in wanting to get plowed would have been much more appreciated if the threat of being imprisoned and possibly executed for our crimes wasn’t looming over our heads like a comically large anvil.
‘’So…’’ I turned back to Hestia, who was slowly getting off the floor. ‘’Does this mean we are kicked out? Look, I don’t have much, but you seem poorer than we are. I can pay for your silence—‘’
‘’No.’’ The Goddess interrupted, shaking her head. It made my body tense up, and so did Midna’s as we got ready to bolt. ‘’I’m not kicking you out. I’ve taken you in, so now it’s my responsibility to take care of you.’’
I blinked, the words not registering for a moment.
But when they did, my eyes widened, and I couldn’t even come up with a quippy or funny response. The determination in Hestia’s blue eyes dwarfed her previously hilarious meltdown by a landslide.
‘’You’re not kicking us out?’’ Midna asked, just as bewildered as I was, as she settled back on the ground. ‘’…Why?’’
‘’I ask the same.’’ I followed, staring confusedly at the Goddess. ‘’Like. I would kick myself to the curb in your shoes. We are definitely more trouble than we are worth, and trust me, Pyre-Goddess, I’m worth a lot. So… why?’’
Once more, Hestia shook her head. Her old sandals clacked against the ground as they hit the back of her feet. Now, right in front of us, she should have looked leagues smaller, but instead, it was like I was the one looking up and not the other way around.
‘’I don’t know how the other Gods manage their children,’’ Hestia admitted with a nervous huff. ‘’But… I came to Gekai because I wanted to build a Familia. Want it or not, you’re a part of it now. So, unless you tellme to kick you out, I’m not.’’
‘’But—‘’ Mida tried.
‘’Not doing it.’’
‘’It doesn’t make sense—‘’
‘’Don’t care.’’
‘’’’Listen, you damn shortstack—‘’’’
‘’Yaaaawn… Are you done already? I’m still not hearing a ‘I want to be kicked out, Goddess Hestia’ from you two.’’ With crossed arms, the petite Goddess seized us up with a smug grin.
‘’Did… Did you just say ‘yawn’ out loud to make it seem like you’re actually yawning?’’ I asked, befuddled.
My only answer was Hestia’s chest puffing up in pride, which certainly did some interesting things to those gravity-defying mounds.
I turned to Midna. Her lone red eye met my brown ones, and for once, we were the ones absolutely lost in someone else’s bullshit.
That’s also when our eyes widened in realization.
We had just been out-stupidied. By our supposed new Goddess as well. The mere fact that someone was as dumb, or even dumber than we were, when it came to decision-making brought a manic grin to our faces.
And what Hestia didn’t expect was to suddenly get picked up by not one, but two bodies at the same time.
‘’E-eh?! Oi, oi, what are you doing?!’’ Hestia squeaked out as I squeezed her like a plushie against my chest. Midna, too, did her part from the back—pause. ‘’G-geez… You can just ask for a hug, you know?’’
‘’Oh, there’s something I want to hug, alright~’’ And Midna, being Midna, could not stop her lecherous tendencies for even a sole, wholesome moment as her sticky fingers suddenly gripped Hestia’s hips.
‘’Hands off, you perverted Goblin!’’ The Goddess screeched, face erupting into a furious blush as she thrashed against our joined embrace. ‘’Put me down! Put me doooooooown. It’s your Goddess’s order!’’
‘’Joking aside.’’ I sighed, my shoulders feeling lighter all of a sudden, and not because I put the feisty, petite Goddess back on the ground, much to Midna’s disappointment. ‘’Thank you, Hestia. You probably won’t regret this choice!’’
‘’What do you mean ‘probably’?’’ One of the Goddesses’ eyebrows twitched.
‘’Hey, that’s the best I can give. Take it or leave it, pyre-lady.’’ I hmph’d, crossing my arms with a fake pout.
‘’Why do you keep calling me that? It’s Goddess of the Hearth! H-e-a-r-t-h! Not Pyres!’’ Hestia complained, stomping the ground while looking up at me with an actual pout.
‘’Well, you make pyres, so…’’
‘’That’s the same as saying a chef is a sandwich maker just because his menu has sandwiches!’’
‘’Hey, not to interrupt you two,’’ Midna commented from her place, upside down in the air, making us turn our heads to her. ‘’But, uh… I think we forgot something?’’
I frowned. ‘’What did we forget?’’
Hestia actually looked around herself, trying to see if an article of her outfit was missing or something.
Midna merely grinned and showed a hand with three fingers raised. ‘’Three… two… one…’’
Suddenly, both Hestia and I stilled.
‘’Oh shit, we forgot the bun-bun!’’ I slapped my forehead in realization.
‘’I left Bell managing the stand all day!’’ Hestia panicked, rushing to the church’s entrance.
Midna merely cackled like a maniac, even clutching her stomach as laughter turned into wheezes.
-X-x-X-
Bonus Scene: Popular Bun-bun.
-Bell Cranel-
‘’Thank you for your purchase!’’ She offered a wide smile as she gave a man his potato puff.
‘’Ahh… I felt revitalized.’’ The man said, not even taking a bite of the food, as he turned around. ‘’Orario really is the best!’’
‘’Did you need some napkins with that?’’ Bell asked another, younger male.
‘’N-no, I’m fine…’’ He said shyly, turning his gaze away and running to a group of boys his age that all snickered together.
‘’H-how much to let me pet your ears?’’ A woman had asked. A blush evident in her face as a small line of blood trailed down her nose.
‘’I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a Jagamarukun stand…’’ Bell tried to dissuade the same woman for the tenth time.
‘Ahhh… Just how much longer is Lady Hestia going to take?’ She wondered, internally panicking as she saw the line of her stand grow bigger and bigger. ‘Why are there so many people lining up for Jagamarukun? Is this what Lady Hestia has to deal with all day?!’
‘’Hey, girl.’’ Another woman with a similar hat to hers approached. If she didn’t misremember, this was Lady Hestia’s boss. She had a charming smile on her face as her hands rubbed together. ‘’You wouldn’t be interested in working full-time here now, would you?’’
‘’Ah, no, sorry…’’ Bell tried to keep a polite smile on her face. ‘’I’m just covering for my Goddess while she’s busy. I’m actually an Adventurer.’’
‘’Are you sure?’’ The woman asked, losing the smile. ‘’I can pay you handsomely, I—‘’
‘’No, no, no!’’ Bell shook her head, an action that, unknown to her, made the clients closest to her stand clutch their hearts as if struck. ‘’I’m trying to be an Adventurer! A-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e-r!’’
…
Unbeknownst to the adorable bun-bun, a rumor had spread that day.
A rumor that there was an enchanting, snow rabbit that could make even those allergic to potatoes buy a Jagamarukun, if only to watch her smile at them.
-X-x-X-.
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Author's Note:
Hestia is Bestia, exhibit A: this chapter.
Roy and Midna: We only had Hestia for half a day, but if something were to happen to her, Orario is gone
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