LILY POV Three days.
It had been three days since Kiefer had stopped talking to me , three days since he looked me in the eyes and said: “I’m done being your friend.” I still couldn’t believe he had said it.
After everything.
After all the conversations.
All the times I had been there.
He had chosen Jay , he had made that very clear , and I hated her for it , knew I shouldn’t.
But I did.
I walked into the university building with my books held tightly against my chest.
Kiefer was already in class i saw him immediately.
he was sitting in his usual seat, talking to someone i looked at him ,he didn’t look at me.
Not even once.
I sat down.
My jaw tightened.
Fine.
If he wanted to pretend I didn’t exist, I could do the same.
the professor started the lecture.
I tried to concentrate.
But I couldn’t.
Because every few minutes, Kiefer’s phone lit up.
And every time it did…
He smiled.
Jay.
Always Jay.
I watched him type something.
Then he put his phone down.
A few seconds later, he smiled again.
I gripped my pen.
What does she have that I don’t?
The thought came again.
I had asked myself that question so many times that it didn’t even feel like a question anymore.
It felt like an obsession.
The bell rang.
Everyone started leaving.
I packed my things slowly.
Then I saw her.
Jay.
She was standing outside the classroom waiting for Kiefer.
the moment he saw her, his face changed.that stupid smile appeared.he walked toward her.she smiled back.they didn’t even have to say anything.they just looked at each other.
I hated it.
I followed them outside without thinking.they sat together on one of the benches.
Jay leaned against Kiefer’s shoulder.
He immediately wrapped his arm around her.
My stomach twisted.
Then Jay took his hand.
Their fingers intertwined.
I stared.
Kiefer looked down at their hands and smiled.
Then he looked at her.
That look.
That horrible look.
His eyes were soft.
Full of love.
I had never seen him look at anyone like that.
Not even me.
Jay whispered something.
He laughed.
She laughed too.
Then he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
I froze.
My hands tightened around my books.
He kissed her.
Something inside me cracked.
I wanted to walk away .
instead, I kept watching.jay rested her head against his chest.kiefer looked completely happy.
Completely comfortable.
Like she belonged there.
Like that was her place.
My place.
I wanted to scream.
But I didn’t.
I turned around and walked away.
My face was calm but inside, I was burning.i went to the bathroom and locked myself inside a stall.
i stared at my hands.
They were shaking.
“Calm down.” I whispered it to myself.
“He doesn’t love you.”i said I swallowed.
“He loves her.” i said I knew that.
i had known it for a while but knowing something and accepting it were two different things.
I looked into the mirror.
My eyes were red.
I smiled.
It didn’t look like my smile.
“You lost.” I whispered.
Then another thought came.
No.
I shook my head.
“I didn’t lose.” I looked at myself again.
“I haven’t lost yet.” Because I didn’t believe Kiefer’s love for Jay was permanent.
People changed.
Feelings changed.
Relationships ended.
I’d seen it happen before.
My parents had left.
Someone I loved had left.
People always left.
So why should Jay be different?
Why should Kiefer stay with her forever?
I wiped my eyes.
Then I smiled.
If Kiefer had chosen Jay…
Then maybe I needed to give him a reason to change his mind.
That evening, I sat in my room.
I opened my phone.
There were pictures of Kiefer.
Old ones.
Pictures from university.
Pictures with our friends.
Pictures where he was smiling.
I scrolled through them.
Then I found one.
Kiefer and me.
We were laughing.
It was from when we went to amusment park I stared at it.
He looked happy.
I smiled.
“See?” I whispered.
“You were happy with me too.” i said I knew what he had told me.
I knew he had rejected me.
I knew he loved Jay.
But I didn’t care.
Because love wasn’t always about what someone said.
Sometimes people just needed to be reminded of what they had.
And I was going to remind him.
I opened Jay’s social media.
I looked through her pictures.
Her smile.
Her university life.
Her friends.
Her pictures with Kiefer.
I stared at one particular picture for a long time.
Kiefer had his arm around her.
She was smiling.
He looked at her exactly the way he had looked at her today.
I zoomed in.
His eyes.
That look.
I hated it.
I locked my phone.
Then unlocked it again.
I looked at the picture.
“Enjoy it while you can.” i said The words came out quietly.
I surprised myself.
I wasn’t joking.
I wasn’t angry anymore.
I was calm.
Too calm.
I knew Kiefer wouldn’t leave Jay just because I asked.
So I couldn’t ask.
I couldn’t beg.
I couldn’t confess again.
I needed something else.
Something that would make Jay doubt him.
Something that would make Kiefer doubt her.
Something that would make them turn against each other.
I stared at the ceiling.
My mind started working.
And for the first time, I wasn’t thinking about how to make Kiefer love me.
I was thinking about how to make him stop loving her.
I smiled.
Then I stopped.
The smile slowly disappeared from my face.
What was I thinking?
I looked down at my hands.
I had already lost everyone.
My parents left when I was twelve.
The people I trusted had eventually walked away.
My relationship had ended badly.
And now Kiefer—the one person I had convinced myself would always be there—had walked away too.
My aunt she is not even home whole year I have to live alone Because of her.
I closed my eyes.
I had spent so much time telling myself that I was fighting for Kiefer.
But was I?
Or was I just terrified of losing the last person I had left?
My breathing became slower.
I knew what I was feeling wasn’t normal anymore.
This wasn’t just a crush.
It wasn’t just jealousy.
It wasn’t even just anger.
It was becoming an obsession.
I wanted him so badly that I had started believing I was entitled to him.
And that scared me.
For a moment, I thought about stopping.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should let him be happy.
Maybe I should walk away before I did something I could never take back.
Then I remembered the way he had looked at Jay.
That smile.
That softness.
That love.
My hands curled into fists.
No.
I had already lost everyone once.
I wasn’t going to lose him too.
I whispered to myself, “I’m not going to lose Kiefer.”