LILY POV I thought it would go away.
That was what I told myself every morning.
Today, I won’t look for him.
Today, I won’t care.
Today, I’ll finally let him go.
But every time I saw Kiefer, all those promises disappeared.
It was becoming painful.
Not the kind of pain that disappeared after a few minutes.
It was sharp, sudden, almost like a knife being pushed somewhere deep inside my chest every time I saw him with Jay.
I hated that feeling.
I hated how one smile from him could ruin my entire day.
I hated how hearing Jay’s laugh from across the university could make my stomach twist before I even saw them.
And I hated myself most of all because I knew this wasn’t normal anymore.
I started noticing everything.
The way Kiefer waited for Jay after her classes.
The way he remembered what she liked.
The way he held her hand when they walked.
The way Jay leaned against him without even thinking about it.
The way Kiefer looked down at her whenever she spoke.
That look in his eyes.
Always that look.
Love.
It hurt like a knife.
One afternoon, I watched them from across the courtyard.
Jay was laughing about something, and Kiefer was smiling at her.
She reached for his hand, and he immediately took it.
I looked away.
But the image stayed in my head.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Stop.
I told myself.
Stop thinking about them.
But my mind wouldn’t listen.
Instead, another thought appeared.
What if I were the one holding his hand?
I opened my eyes.
For a second, I imagined it.
Kiefer looking at me.
Kiefer smiling at me.
Kiefer choosing me.
The thought felt good.
Too good.
And then reality returned.
Jay was still there.
My chest tightened again.
I began checking where they were without even realizing it.
If I walked into the cafeteria, I looked for Kiefer.
If I entered the courtyard, I searched for him.
If I heard his voice, my eyes automatically followed it.
I started memorizing their routines.
When Jay finished class.
Where Kiefer waited for her.
Where they usually sat during breaks.
When they went home.
I knew I was crossing a line.
I knew it.
But somehow, knowing didn’t make me stop.
It only made me feel worse.
One evening, I sat alone in my room and stared at my phone.
Kiefer’s name was still saved in my contacts.
I opened our old messages.
I scrolled through conversations from months ago.
Back when he still talked to me.
Back when I could send him something stupid and he would reply.
Back when I could call him my friend.
I stopped at one message.
You can always talk to me.
I stared at it until my eyes started burning.
“You lied,” I whispered.
But he hadn’t.
He had meant it when he said it.
I was the one who had changed everything.
I was the one who had crossed the line.
I threw my phone onto the bed.
For a few minutes, I just sat there.
Then I picked it up again.
I opened Jay’s profile.
I knew I shouldn’t.
But I did.
I looked at another picture of them together.
Then another.
Then another.
My chest hurt with every one.
It felt like a knife turning deeper each time.
I locked my phone.
I stood up.
I walked to the mirror.
“Enough.” I stared at my reflection.
“He’s not yours.” The words felt horrible.
I said them again.
“He’s not yours, Lily.” My reflection stared back at me.
Then my mind whispered: Not yet.
I froze.
I didn’t say that.
At least, not out loud.
I slowly looked away from the mirror.
That scared me.
Because somewhere along the way, I had stopped asking myself whether I should let Kiefer go.
I had started asking myself how I could keep him.
No matter what.
I sat back down.
My hands were shaking.
I knew I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize.
But there was one thought that kept me from stopping.
I already lost everyone.
I’m not losing him too.
And as much as I wanted to pretend I was still in control…
I knew the truth.
This wasn’t love anymore.
It was obsession.
And it was getting stronger.
JAY POV I had started noticing Lily.
Not because I wanted to.
Not because I cared about what she thought of me.
But because I could see something in her that I couldn’t ignore.
Whenever she looked at Kiefer and me, her expression changed.
She would try to hide it, but I could see the jealousy in her eyes.
Sometimes her jaw would tighten, sometimes she’d look away quickly, and sometimes her hands would shake slightly before she closed them into fists.
As a girl, I understood that feeling.
Not exactly what she was going through, but the jealousy.
The feeling of watching someone you want choose someone else.
It could hurt.
It could make you question yourself.
Why her?
Why not me?
I understood that part.
But Lily’s jealousy felt different.
It wasn’t just sadness anymore.
It was becoming something heavier.
I saw her one afternoon sitting alone, staring at Kiefer from across the room.
She wasn’t smiling.
She wasn’t talking to anyone.
She was just watching him.
Her fingers were trembling.
I noticed because she kept rubbing her hands together, almost as if she was trying to make them stop.
For a moment, I felt sorry for her.
Maybe she was hurting more than she showed.
Maybe losing Kiefer as a friend had affected her badly.
I knew what heartbreak felt like.
I knew what it was like to want something and realize you couldn’t have it.
But then Kiefer looked over at me and smiled.
Lily saw it.
And her expression changed instantly.
The sadness disappeared.
Something darker replaced it.
Her eyes stayed on me for a few seconds.
Then she looked away.
I felt something strange in my chest.
I didn’t know what it was.
I didn’t want to judge her because of her past.
I knew she’d been through things.
I knew she’d been abandoned by people she trusted, and I knew her relationship had hurt her too.
Maybe that’s why she was holding on so tightly to Kiefer.
Maybe she was terrified of losing another person.
I understood that.
But understanding someone’s pain didn’t mean their actions were right.
And Lily was changing.
I could see it.
She was quieter now.
She didn’t joke with anyone like she used to.
She barely talked in class.
Sometimes she’d stare at her phone for long periods of time.
Other times, she’d sit somewhere alone and just watch Kiefer.
And every time he showed me affection, I saw the same reaction.
Her hands would shake.
Her eyes would become harder.
It was almost as if every little moment between Kiefer and me was hurting her.
One day, I was walking beside Kiefer when he reached for my hand.
I smiled and held his fingers.
We were talking about something stupid when I noticed Lily across the hallway.
She was watching us.
I looked at her.
For a second, our eyes met.
I didn’t see the confident girl I’d seen before.
I saw someone who looked completely lost.
Her eyes were wet.
Her lips were pressed together tightly.
Her hands were shaking.
I almost felt sorry for her again.
Then she looked at Kiefer.
And the sadness in her face disappeared.
She looked angry.
Sad Hurt Soo much hurt I looked away.
“Kiefer,” I whispered.
“Hmm?” he said “Do you think Lily is okay?” i aksed He looked at me.
“I don’t know.” he said “I think she’s hurting.” i said He sighed.
“I know.” he said I looked down at our hands.
“I don’t hate her.” i said “I know.” he said “I actually feel bad for her.” i said Kiefer squeezed my hand.
“You can feel bad for her, Jay.
But don’t let her feelings become your responsibility.” he said I nodded.
He was right.
Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Because I knew what jealousy could feel like.
I knew how one small insecurity could grow into something bigger.
And I could see it happening to Lily.
She wasn’t just jealous anymore.
She was becoming consumed by it.
And the saddest part was…
I don’t think Lily realized how much she was changing.
Or maybe she did.
Maybe she just didn’t know how to stop.
I watched her walk away that afternoon.
Her shoulders were tense.
Her hands were trembling again.
And for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside her had already broken.