It was a morning like any other.
Ji An was startled as he got up to go to work. Standing at the bedroom door was You Fu, his fingers clutching the strap of his backpack so tightly they were turning white. He looked down at Ji An with a slightly superior gaze.
Ji An didn’t like that look. “It’s already eight o’clock. Didn’t you go to class?”
You Fu spoke softly, “I overslept. Can you take me to school?”
With You Fu soon leaving his home, Ji An had fewer opinions about him. After all, they wouldn’t see each other much in the future, so what harm was there in giving him a ride? Ji An grabbed his car keys and headed out.
“You actually overslept? That’s rare.”
You Fu bit out the words heavily, “Went to bed late.”
Ji An stopped and looked at him. “What time did you go to sleep last night?”
“Two or three.”
Ji An reached up to touch the dark circles under You Fu’s eyes. You Fu watched him quietly, waiting for his next move.
Then, as if bestowing a favor, Ji An patted his face. “Is this your comeuppance?”
You Fu replied with an enigmatic tone, “You could say that.”
Ji An turned his head away disdainfully, missing the small smile that crept into You Fu’s eyes as he touched his own face.
…
You Fu was late.
This was quite unusual for someone in Class 3-1. You Fu was like a walking clock, with a strong sense of time. Whether traveling or reading, he always set a schedule and stuck to it.
He always arrived early to start morning self-study, never once being late, not even by a minute.
But more surprising than his tardiness was the bizarre collection of dolls hanging from his backpack.
With a face as cold as ice and an aura that seemed to wither everything within a meter, he strode into the classroom. The cheerful dolls on his backpack were a stark contrast to his own demeanor.
If his classmates had previously described him as cold, aloof, proud, handsome, and arrogant, they now had to add “flamboyant” to the list.
Xiao Jiaruan’s gaze followed You Fu’s steps until he stopped beside her.
“What’s with this…” She touched the protruding backside of a tomato doll, hesitating to finish her sentence.
You Fu sat down calmly. “Just acting out.”
“Uh… huh???” Xiao Jiaruan’s mouth hung open, almost thinking she hadn’t woken up yet.
You Fu hung his backpack beside the desk, the dolls grinning at a classmate across the aisle. The classmate coughed to stifle a laugh, turning away to protect their eyes from the visual assault.
Xiao Jiaruan, still in a daze, remembered what she wanted to ask. “Why… why are you so late today?”
“I was waiting for someone this morning.” You Fu handed her a notebook. “I sorted out the problem you didn’t understand yesterday.”
As he handed over the notebook, Xiao Jiaruan accidentally brushed his fingers, feeling a chill that made her heart skip a beat.
You Fu was always attentive, quietly noting her difficulties and offering help.
Flipping through the notebook, her thoughts became jumbled. She suddenly remembered she hadn’t thanked him and turned to find You Fu watching her intently.
The “thank you” stuck in her throat, and she touched her face, feeling the heat. “Is there something on my face…?”
You Fu’s fingers brushed her cheek, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. He felt the girl’s breath catch, a slight tremor in her stillness.
“Your hair was messy.” He withdrew his hand, refocusing on his textbook with precise detachment.
The girl’s nervousness mirrored his own from earlier that morning.
This feeling had been there before, vague and elusive, until today when he finally realized—
Some things are unavoidable, like the changes at seventeen.
…
When You Fu returned home from the evening study session, the living room lights were on. Ji An hadn’t worked overtime today and was lounging under a soft fleece blanket, watching TV with a tub of Haagen-Dazs ice cream in his arms. Despite the cold season, he squinted against the chill, not sparing You Fu a glance as he stood at the door.
As You Fu approached the sofa, the colorful items caught Ji An’s eye. He magnanimously granted You Fu a glance, quickly returning his attention to the TV screen. “Did your classmates comment on your cute little dolls?”
You Fu pursed his lips, looking at him for a long moment, feeling a bit at a loss. “I overheard them.”
“What did they say?”
“They said I’m a high-cold show-off.”
“Pfft—” Ji An burst into laughter, his shoulders shaking.
You Fu sat on the armrest of the sofa, pointing at the sad poop doll on his backpack. “They also said I’ve been repressed for so long that I’ve gone wild.”
Ji An couldn’t hold back anymore, laughing heartily for a while. He pulled You Fu’s sleeve to wipe the tears from his eyes, gasping for breath. “I never thought those words could be used to describe you.”
“Should I keep them on?”
“Up to you, but once a game is played, it’s not fun anymore.” Ji An scooped a big spoonful of ice cream, dipped it in honey, and offered it to him, feigning kindness. “Good Little Fu, here’s your reward for being obedient.”
The translucent honey enveloped the caramel-colored ice cream. You Fu could already imagine the sickly sweet taste. He opened his mouth, and as the spoon entered, his tongue touched the bottom where Ji An’s tongue had been not long before.
You Fu looked down at the light-colored eyes in front of him, frowning slightly as he swallowed the cloying sweetness.
“It’s awful,” he said.
“If it wasn’t awful, who would give it to you?” Ji An wiped the spoon clean with a napkin.
You Fu’s fingertips brushed the corner of his eye, wiping away a tear he hadn’t caught. “But the color is quite nice, like amber.”
Ji An mocked, “You still have the leisure to appreciate the color of ice cream with honey. Is that the focus of a little genius? It’s something us ordinary folks can’t comprehend.”
You Fu stopped focusing on his eyes, removing the small dolls from his backpack one by one and tossing them into the trash. Knowing Ji An, he would never buy such childish things; they must have been gifts from someone else.
As expected, Ji An didn’t react to him throwing away the dolls, continuing to eat his ice cream. “Got a lot of homework?”
“A bit.”
“I’m hungry. Go make me a midnight snack.”
You Fu tossed the last doll into the trash, rubbing his fingers in distaste. “What do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know.”
You Fu nodded, heading to the kitchen to quickly make two bowls of small wontons and wash some cherries.
They sat across from each other at the dining table. Ji An received a call from his grandparents, with his grandmother chattering on about whether he was eating well and staying warm, reminding him to take the blankets out to air as the weather warmed.
Ji An responded, barely having time to eat. His grandmother soon shifted the topic to urging him to marry, with his grandfather chiming in with agreement.
Ji An humored them, a wonton being fed into his mouth without a second thought.
When he finally managed to end the call, the table was empty, the dishes already cleared away. The hunger in his stomach had vanished, and he realized You Fu had fed him while he was on the phone.
Indeed, people become pliable when on the phone.
He was slightly annoyed at You Fu for feeding him without permission.
The kitchen lights went out, and You Fu emerged, drying his hands. Ji An was about to scold him but saw him lean against the doorframe, eyes closed, swaying slightly.
Ji An silently approached, ready to send him away with a word. “You trying to die?”
You Fu pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “Just sleep-deprived.”
Ji An went to his room, grabbed You Fu’s backpack, and threw it into his own room. “Get it from my bedroom in the morning. Go to sleep now, and don’t die here and bring bad luck to my house.”
“I haven’t finished my homework.”
Ji An rolled his eyes. “What does your homework have to do with me? Expect me to do it for you?”
“…” You Fu shook his head, simply washed up, and went to bed.
Before sleeping, Ji An, with nothing better to do, opened You Fu’s backpack. Inside were several workbooks and a stack of test papers. Spreading them out, the complex formulas made Ji An dizzy, and he quickly stuffed the troublesome things back.
The difficulty of senior year test questions had long surpassed Ji An’s capabilities. He had only helped with homework for fun when You Fu was in middle school.
Back then, they lived in a small house, sharing a bedroom. One night, You Fu had a lot of homework and stayed up late with the desk lamp on, eventually falling asleep at the desk.
Ji An had cradled him in his arms and carried him to bed. Seeing the unfinished exercises, he felt restless, tossing and turning in bed until he couldn’t resist getting up to finish them.
The next morning, he saw You Fu staring blankly at the completed exercises, but You Fu said nothing, nor did he redo them. He just stuffed the workbook into his backpack and went to school.
That night, when You Fu was asleep, Ji An eagerly opened his homework to find that most of the answers he had painstakingly written were wrong. The teacher had even left a comment at the end of the exercises: “Why do you slack off at critical moments? This homework is the most ridiculous. Are you trying to fool me? If you make this many mistakes again, I’ll call your parents!”
Ji An clicked his tongue, speechless. So You Fu’s morning daze wasn’t from being touched but from the sheer number of mistakes. He cursed under his breath and closed the workbook.
What bizarre questions, utterly perverse!
…
Ji An had little sense of time. The passing of it, like wind or water, always felt ephemeral. Tearing off countdown sheets was just adding more waste paper to him.
But that feeling changed when he saw the countdown sheet with a bright red “10” written on it. He regretted using such a glaring color for the countdown numbers. The vivid red felt like a knife stabbing deep into his eyes.
He tore off the countdown sheets one by one,
10, 9, 8…
Rip—
You Fu tore off the sheet marked “7,” crumpled it, and tossed it into the trash.
During this period, You Fu’s sleep quality fluctuated. Not only did the homeroom teacher call Ji An to say You Fu was dozing off in class, but Ji An also noticed it himself.
One night, he got up to use the bathroom, and the light in You Fu’s room was still on. He walked to the bathroom and opened the door, finding it pitch black inside.
As he fumbled to turn on the light, he touched a hand.
Ji An was startled awake.
The hand was the first to flip the switch.
Ji An squinted against the sudden brightness, seeing You Fu standing by the wall. He cursed, “Are you crazy? Going to the bathroom without turning on the light.”
You Fu brushed past him. “No need, just washing my hands.”
When Ji An opened You Fu’s room door, he saw him tossing several crumpled papers into the trash. The room was scented with a fresh citrus aroma, so even when Ji An approached the trash can, he didn’t smell any faintly strange odors in the air.
You Fu’s Adam’s apple bobbed slightly. “Did you need something, Brother?”
Ji An handed him a bottle of sleeping pills. “I used to take these. They’re yours now.”
You Fu gripped the bottle tightly, a faint smile forming. “Thank you.”
After Ji An left, You Fu slowly released his grip, noticing a fine strand of hair on the bottle. He carefully picked it up, inhaling its scent, his eyelashes trembling.