“Ugh…”
A sudden chill made a groan escape me without thinking. Even though I had the heater turned up to the highest setting before going to bed, a cold wind hit me hard and woke me faintly. As my mind cleared little by little, a thought struck me.
This isn’t just cold air…?
Somewhere, wind was coming in. A very strong wind. Realizing this, I cautiously lifted my head—and froze in shock.
Someone was entering through the window.
In those few seconds, my mind raced with all kinds of thoughts. Why had Oliver left today of all days? Did that guy know I was alone and come in here? A thief? Or maybe someone from another room sneaked out and got lost? It was dark and nighttime, so maybe. But why climb in the window when the door was perfectly fine? The rules weren’t that strict anyway.
Could it be a ghost…?
When that thought crossed my mind, I suddenly recognized something. Under the pale moonlight, a face so pale it looked almost blue came into view—and I instantly knew who it was.
“Ruth?”
I shouted in surprise, and the figure, who was just about to climb down from the desk, turned his head startled. Our eyes met, and once again I was certain. Lucien’s eyes were wide open, staring at me.
“What the hell is going on?”
While closing the window and waiting for the room to warm up again, the first thing I did was reprimand him. What was he doing? Lucien just smiled without any sign of remorse and showed me a flat box.
“Came to eat pizza together.”
“Pizza? At this time of night?”
It was well past midnight. He had broken in through the window without permission just to bring pizza? I was speechless. Yet Lucien cheerfully spread the pizza on the empty bed and gestured me over.
“Come on, hurry. You promised I’d buy next time.”
Of course, that was true. But nobody expected him to keep that promise so abruptly. I reluctantly pushed myself up, roughly rubbed my messy hair, and sat on the opposite bed—the one Oliver had left empty.
We placed the pizza neatly on the bed and each took a slice. A strange feeling stirred inside me. I thought I’d feel awkward seeing him again, but surprisingly, I didn’t. Instead, a complicated mix of gladness and bitterness shook my insides.
“What’s wrong? Not good? Should I have bought something else?”
Noticing I wasn’t eating much this time, Lucien asked in puzzlement. I sighed loudly and opened my mouth.
“Be honest, Ruth. What exactly are you thinking?”
“Thinking about what?”
Lucien repeated my words exactly, so I tried to be clearer.
“I mean… why did you go through all this trouble to come here? Climbing in through the window like this.”
“Because I wanted to see you.”
His answer was straightforward. Without hesitation, he added,
“The front door is locked at this hour. They’d open if I rang the dorm supervisor, but the window is faster. And most windows aren’t locked anyway.”
He was right—I had never locked the window. Who would even think someone would sneak into the dorm room this way? But that wasn’t the point.
“At this hour? You could’ve just waited till tomorrow during the day.”
“Because I wanted to see you now.”
Again, Lucien answered immediately, as if he expected the question.
A classic question.
One anyone would ask a visitor showing up at this time and by this method. But I had a more important question.
“Ruth, do you want to be president of Lilith?”
At my question, Lucien’s eyes widened and he asked back.
“Me? Why?”
He seemed genuinely curious, but I had no answer. Shaking my head, I tried to come up with some reasoning.
“I don’t get why else you would join Lilith.”
Lucien burst out laughing and said mockingly,
“What’s the point of that, Dilly? You’re really dumb.”
“What did you say?”
I snapped angrily, but Lucien just kept laughing.
He playfully pinched my cheek, then gently stroked it, whispering,
“Don’t worry, Dilly. I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our secret.”
His sudden words froze me momentarily. Unlike me, who was embarrassed as if my hidden feelings had been exposed, Lucien calmly caressed my cheek.
“As long as you don’t break your promise, I’ll keep it to the end. Don’t worry.”
That sounded like a threat—that if I did break the promise, he’d reveal my secret too. I couldn’t react as he narrowed his eyes and smiled. His long eyes folded thinly like a crescent moon.
“Don’t worry, Dilly. Just don’t tell anyone your secret. No one.”
That made no sense. Once we graduated and went to the city, I’d come out. I’d have to meet people like me—and that was the whole reason I wanted to leave for the city.
So Lucien’s words were unrealistic, but I silently nodded. What mattered was life after graduation—I’d go to the city, he’d go to college. What was important now was this moment. Lucien smiled again, relieved by my answer.
“You came on purpose today? Because I was alone?”
Seeing him lower his hand, I asked, and he lightly nodded.
“Oliver left.”
Everyone knew that, so it wasn’t special. Since we were both Lilith members, Lucien probably heard early. Had he planned this right away? That seemed unlike him, but I stopped thinking about it. What did I really know about Lucien anyway? I didn’t even know why he joined Lilith.
“Well, soon you’ll get a new roommate and can’t do this anymore.”
Muttering to myself, Lucien tilted his head.
“Really? I like that you have the room alone. Isn’t it better than sharing with someone?”
“Of course.”
It was obvious. No matter how close friends were, sharing space wasn’t easy. My situation was enviable, but it wouldn’t last. Maybe not beyond next semester, or even a new roommate could move in tomorrow. It was a double room, and I had no veto.
I sighed absentmindedly. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. It was a message from my parents. Smiling unconsciously after reading it, Lucien looked at me in curiosity.
“Oh, today you made cake with Elliot? It looks messy but tastes good. Did the message come late? You must have made it earlier today.”
I muttered to myself and was about to put my phone down when Lucien spoke.
“You seem close with your family. And your little brother too.”
“He’s really cute. Want to see?”
Like a proud older brother, I pulled up a photo of Elliot on my phone. Lucien looked and smiled.
“Very cute.”
“Right? He’s even cuter now.”
Putting the phone in my back pocket, Lucien asked,
“How old was he when that photo was taken?”
“Elliot? Three.”
“No.”
Lucien shook his head and asked again.
“You—how old were you?”
He seemed curious because the photo was of me with my younger brother when I was younger. I told him my age then and the age difference. But Lucien said something odd.
“You were thirteen then. You grew a lot.”
“Almost twenty inches in three years.”
I laughed and added,
“I thought I was dying from growing pains every night. My eye level changed every morning.”
I was still growing. Not as fast as then, but last time I measured, I’d grown two more inches. Elliot, small and cute now, would soon shoot up too. After all, he was my brother.
“I wonder what Elliot’s doing now? He cried a lot when I said I was coming back to school.”
Thinking of my little brother’s tear-stained face, I smiled bitterly. Then Lucien asked,
“Won’t you tell Elliot you’re gay?”
“When he’s older? Hmm…”
I hadn’t even imagined it, so I had no immediate answer. After a moment, I shook my head.
“I can’t. My family is very religious. Elliot would be too influenced by our parents.”
I couldn’t bear the thought of Elliot looking at me with disgust if shocked. Better to keep it secret and never meet. At least then I could remain a good older brother.
“Most people think it’s weird if you like the same sex. You’re special.”
“Me?”
Lucien looked puzzled. I nodded.
“You don’t have prejudice because you’re an Alpha.”
Suddenly losing appetite, I put down my pizza and muttered,
“I wish I were an Alpha too…”
I laughed it off, but then Lucien said,
“I think you’d suit being an Omega better.”
“Me? An Omega?”
I burst out laughing loudly at the absurd idea. Seeing Lucien’s dead-serious face made me laugh even harder.
“Omegas suit small, cute ones like Emi.”
At my careless mention, Lucien raised his eyebrow.
“Emi?”
“Oh, on the rowing team. The coxswain.”
I just brushed it off casually. But Lucien showed no reaction—only frowned and glared at me. Why? The mood had been good, so his reaction was confusing. Feeling awkward and breaking out in cold sweat behind my back, Lucien relaxed his expression and changed the subject.
“How’s the rowing team? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
I dodged the question vaguely. Lucien smiled again.
“I’m practicing hard too. I’ll be back on the team soon.”
“When?”
I asked, remembering the deadline he’d mentioned. Lucien seemed to think the same and answered.
“Two months, no, one month now.”
A month had already passed since he said that. Unlucky accidents kept happening in Lilith during that time. When I suddenly felt worried about Lucien, he got up from the bed.
“I have to go now. Need to prepare for class tomorrow.”
“Go out the door.”
He could have opened the door and left, but Lucien refused. Choosing the window again like when he came in, he started climbing down the wall. I looked him straight in the face and warned.
“Be careful, Ruth. I’m worried about all the accidents happening in Lilith.”
With a serious expression, Lucien quietly looked back at me and gave a strange smile. It gave me a creepy feeling, but then he slipped out the window. I watched him for a moment, but his shadow disappeared. Unable to bear the cold, I hurried to close the window.
And the very next day, more than half the members of Lilith disappeared.