“No horses for sale?” Thor scratched his head with a completely serious expression.
“Then I’ll just run there.” Rowan covered his face with a paw.
Of course that was his solution.
This giant idiot really couldn’t use his brain for even five seconds.
“Fine.” “Let’s find somewhere private.” “I’ll transform back and help you rent a car.” Before they could go any farther, a familiar vehicle pulled up beside them.
Beep!
Beep!
Jane rolled down the window.
“Hey.” “Need a ride?” Thor’s face immediately lit up.
Rowan leaned close to his ear.
“Looks like she’s pretty interested in you.” Thor grinned proudly.
“Naturally.” “I am Thor, God of Thunder.” Rowan rolled his eyes so hard they almost fell out.
The car headed toward the impact site.
Jane looked a little nervous.
She kept stealing glances at Thor.
“I’ve never done anything like this before.” Thor looked genuinely impressed.
“Then you’re very brave.” Jane’s expression darkened.
“They took away all my research.” “I don’t really have anything left to lose.” Thor nodded thoughtfully.
“But you’re intelligent.” “Smarter than anyone else in this kingdom.” Rowan nearly choked.
Thor.
My brother in Odin.
What kind of response is that?
A woman says her life’s work got stolen and your response is to compliment her IQ?
Are you trying to flirt or start a debate club?
At this rate, do I need to teach the God of Thunder how to date?
Strangely enough, Jane didn’t seem bothered.
In fact, she was more interested in one specific word.
“Kingdom?” Thor had called Earth a kingdom.
Again.
And that fascinated her far more than his bizarre conversational skills.
Watching them talk, Rowan slowly realized something.
Maybe fate really was a thing.
Because somehow these two weirdos genuinely worked together.
The conversation continued.
They kept glancing at one another.
Smiling.
As if they were the only people in the car.
Finally Jane asked: “Who exactly are you?” Thor smiled mysteriously.
“You’ll find out soon.” Jane frowned immediately.
“You promised you’d tell me.” Meanwhile, Rowan’s fur was standing on end.
“Jane!” “Eyes on the road!” “You’re driving!” “Talk all you want, but stop staring at him every five seconds!” “I want out.” “I’d rather run there myself.” Thor simply continued smiling.
“I know you’re searching for a bridge.” Jane immediately became interested.
“You mean the Einstein-Rosen Bridge?” Thor nodded.
“Yes.” “We call it the Bifrost.” Jane’s excitement grew.
Then she paused.
“…Please tell me you’re not insane.” By the time they arrived, night had fallen.
The impact site was brightly illuminated.
A temporary government research facility surrounded the crater.
Floodlights.
Fences.
Security personnel.
The works.
Jane frowned.
“This makes no sense.” “If it was just a satellite crash, they would’ve removed the debris already.” “Instead they built an entire facility around it.” Thor calmly removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
“Stay here.” “I’m going to retrieve what’s mine.” Jane stared at him.
“How?” “There are guards everywhere.” Thor looked completely unconcerned.
“When I get it back, I’ll fly out.” Then he looked around.
“Rowan?” No cat.
“Where did he go?” Thor shrugged.
“Never mind.” Then he confidently marched toward the facility.
Jane watched him leave.
The look on her face suggested she was observing a particularly interesting escaped patient.
Above them, storm clouds gathered.
Thunder rumbled.
Rain began falling.
Soon it became a downpour.
As Thor drew closer to Mjolnir, the hammer seemed to sense its master’s presence.
Energy pulses spread outward.
Electronic systems throughout the facility began malfunctioning.
Screens flickered.
Lights blinked.
Equipment glitched.
Thor slipped inside surprisingly smoothly.
For someone who looked like a giant golden retriever, his infiltration skills were actually impressive.
Thousands of years of warfare had taught him a thing or two.
Unfortunately…
He underestimated modern technology.
WEEOOO!
WEEOOO!
Alarms erupted throughout the compound.
Security teams immediately converged on his location.
Thor sighed.
Then abandoned stealth entirely.
Several moments later, chaos exploded across the facility.
Agent Coulson grabbed his radio.
“Status report.” High above, perched in a lift basket, Hawkeye had already drawn his bow.
His arrow pointed directly at Thor.
“Do you want me to take the shot, sir?” Before Coulson could answer, a voice suddenly spoke beside his ear.
“I think you should figure out who he is first.” Coulson nearly jumped out of his skin.
At the same time, something landed on his shoulder.
He turned.
A fat orange cat sat there casually.
“…Rowan?” “What are you doing here?” “And what do you mean by ‘who he is’?” Rowan stretched lazily.
“Relax.” “Just enjoy the show.” “Tell your people not to use lethal force.” “That’s all.” Coulson wasn’t particularly surprised Rowan could turn into a cat.
This was S.H.I.E.L.D.
They’d probably already investigated his entire life story.
Even his underwear size.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye was still waiting.
“Sir?” “Do I take the shot?” Coulson immediately answered.
“Negative.” “We need him alive.” Completely unaware that one of the world’s greatest assassins was aiming at his head, Thor fought his way toward the crater.
Even if he had known…
He probably wouldn’t have cared.
At long last, he reached the center.
Mjolnir stood before him.
Thor’s grin stretched from ear to ear.
Finally.
Time to impress the girl.
He grabbed the handle.
Pulled dramatically.
…
Nothing.
Thor blinked.
He pulled harder.
Still nothing.
Both hands.
Maximum effort.
Every muscle strained.
The hammer didn’t move even a millimeter.
Slowly.
Painfully.
The truth hit him.
He was no longer worthy.
Rain poured from the sky.
Thor fell to his knees.
His head tilted back.
His scream echoed across the storm.
Everything he had ever been was gone.
Meanwhile, sitting on Coulson’s shoulder, Rowan’s tail repeatedly smacked the back of the agent’s head.
He was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
Watching Thor kneel before the hammer, Rowan could practically hear background music playing.
“Snow falls drifting…” “North wind blowing…” “Heaven and earth…” “A vast lonely world…” Thor looked like the world’s saddest puppy.
A short time later, the defeated God of Thunder allowed himself to be captured.
He offered no resistance.
No struggle.
Nothing.
Now he sat inside an interrogation room.
Head lowered.
Completely broken.
Outside the glass, Coulson and Rowan watched silently.
Finally, Coulson spoke.
“Who is he?” “His combat skills aren’t normal.” Rowan looked up.
“You know Norse mythology?” Coulson frowned.
“Of course.” “Why?” Rowan pointed toward the hammer outside.
“That’s Mjolnir.” “The legendary Hammer of Thor.” Then he pointed toward the dejected blond giant inside.
“And that’s its owner.” Coulson stared.
“…You’re telling me he’s Thor?” “The Thor?” “The God of Thunder?” Rowan shrugged.
“Seems pretty obvious.” “That’s impossible.” “He’s a mythological figure.” Rowan grinned.
“Then why is he sitting right there?” Coulson had no answer.
After several moments, he asked: “If he’s really a god…” “Why is he so weak?” “Shouldn’t gods be capable of destroying worlds?” Rowan shook his head.
“People misunderstand what gods are.” “They’re not all-powerful.” “They’re simply a much stronger species.” “They age.” “They bleed.” “They can die.” “They just possess longer lifespans and far greater power than humans.” Then he pointed toward Thor.
“As for him…” “His situation is special.” “Normally?” Rowan glanced through the glass.
“Every person in this facility combined wouldn’t be enough to stop him.” Coulson’s expression became serious.
“Then why is he here?” Rowan thought about it.
Then smiled.
“Long story short?” “A rich father got tired of his spoiled son.” “So he cut off the kid’s credit card and sent him into the real world to learn responsibility.” The room fell silent.
Then Rowan casually added: “Oh, by the way.” “If Hawkeye had fired that arrow earlier…” Coulson frowned.
“What about it?” Rowan shrugged.
“I honestly don’t know if it would’ve killed Thor.” “But if it somehow did…” He hopped off Coulson’s shoulder.
“…I can’t guarantee Earth would survive.” Then he patted Coulson’s arm.
“But I can guarantee S.H.I.E.L.D.
would be completely screwed.” Coulson suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.
A very unpleasant chill.