“So what do we do with him now?” Coulson asked.
Rowan lazily stretched atop the nearby table.
“Nothing.” “Just let things happen naturally.” “Someone’s going to show up soon and ask to take him away.” “When they do, just go with it.” No sooner had he finished speaking than Rowan suddenly froze.
A figure had appeared inside Thor’s interrogation room.
“…Loki?” Rowan blinked.
“Oh right.” “The sneaky little bastard is here to mess with his brother.” He glanced over at Coulson.
The agent hadn’t noticed a thing.
Apparently, Loki’s illusion magic was working perfectly.
Watching through the glass, Rowan couldn’t help grinning.
Thor’s expression kept changing.
First excitement.
Then shock.
Then disbelief.
Finally…
Complete despair.
His shoulders slumped.
All his fighting spirit vanished.
Rowan shook his head.
“Seriously.” “How does anyone fall for this?” “Is there water inside your skull instead of a brain?” Thor really was astonishingly easy to fool.
Still…
Rowan decided not to interfere.
Let the guy suffer a little.
Then he paused.
Actually…
What suffering?
The more Rowan thought about it, the more unfair everything seemed.
Thor arrived on Earth.
Immediately met Jane Foster.
A beautiful scientist.
She rescued him.
Fed him.
Gave him clothes.
Gave him a place to stay.
Then eventually became his girlfriend.
Meanwhile…
What had Rowan gotten after crossing over?
A desert.
A murderous system.
Near-death experiences.
Missiles.
Kidnappings.
Explosions.
Sure, life was pretty good now.
But compared to Thor?
Absolute robbery.
“When is a beautiful woman going to treat me like that?” Rowan dramatically stared toward the ceiling.
Then remembered something.
“Oh.” “Right.” “I’m sixteen.” “Never mind.” A short while later, one of Coulson’s agents entered.
“Sir.” “Someone is here requesting custody of the prisoner.” Rowan immediately perked up.
Another familiar bald head appeared.
Professor Erik Selvig.
The professor looked briefly confused by the fat orange cat sitting nearby.
Especially because said cat was somehow hanging around a senior S.H.I.E.L.D.
agent.
But he wisely chose not to ask questions.
As expected, Selvig gave a hilariously terrible explanation for Thor’s actions.
Even Rowan felt secondhand embarrassment.
Fortunately, Coulson had already received instructions.
After a brief exchange, Thor was released into Selvig’s custody.
Watching them leave, Rowan patted Coulson’s shoulder.
“Well, Old Coulson.” “I’m heading home.” “Tony’s already called me like six times.” Coulson immediately frowned.
“Old Coulson?” “What kind of nickname is that?” Rowan ignored him.
“Oh, and don’t worry about Thor.” “Just keep an eye on him.” “He’s actually a good guy.” Then Rowan suddenly remembered something.
“If four weirdly dressed people show up looking for him…” “Give me a call.” “I want to watch.” Coulson looked suspicious.
“Watch what?” Rowan grinned.
“You’ll see.” Before Coulson could ask more questions, the orange cat leapt into the darkness.
Moments later, he vanished completely.
When Rowan finally returned to Malibu, the mansion was dark.
Looks like everyone was asleep.
Perfect.
He quietly opened the door.
Quietly removed his shoes.
Quietly tiptoed inside.
Then— “OW!” Someone grabbed his ear.
Immediately.
Pepper’s voice followed.
“Oh, so you do remember where home is.” “You’ve been gone for days.” “Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?” The lights suddenly came on.
Pepper stood there holding Rowan by the ear.
Meanwhile, Tony sat on the couch with a stern expression.
The setup looked disturbingly similar to a parent-teacher conference.
“Owww!” “Pepper!” “It hurts!” “I was wrong!” “I won’t do it again!” Rowan surrendered instantly.
“Won’t do it again?” Pepper raised an eyebrow.
Her grip tightened.
“NO!” “I mean it!” “No next time!” “Alright, Pepper.” Tony finally intervened.
“Let him go.” She reluctantly released Rowan’s ear.
Tony folded his arms.
“So.” “Where have you been?” Rowan immediately explained everything.
Meeting Thor.
The hammer.
The S.H.I.E.L.D.
base.
The whole story.
By the time he finished, Tony had fallen into deep thought.
“A god…” “The Norse god of thunder.” “So there really are things out there beyond what I know.” His expression became serious.
“Looks like I need to speed things up.” Then he glanced down at the arc reactor in his chest.
“…If only my body would cooperate.” The room grew quiet.
Pepper finally spoke.
“Enough.” “Rowan, you’ve been traveling nonstop.” “Go get some sleep.” “We can talk tomorrow.” Tony nodded.
“She’s right.” “Don’t worry about any of this.” “I’ll handle it.” Rowan felt a warmth spread through his chest.
“Okay.” “Good night, Tony.” He started heading upstairs.
Then suddenly stopped.
A wicked grin slowly appeared.
Turning around, he looked at Pepper.
“By the way…” “It’s pretty late.” “What are you still doing here?” He dragged out the final syllable dramatically.
“Uuuuuuhhhhh…” Pepper’s face instantly turned bright red.
Before she could answer, Rowan looked at Tony.
Then delivered the killing blow.
“Tony.” “Need a Rejuvenation Spell?” Tony practically jumped off the couch.
“YES!” “Absolutely yes!” “I desperately need one!” Pepper looked confused.
Rowan looked delighted.
With a grin, he cast Rejuvenation on Tony.
Then immediately ran for his life.
“Wait.” Pepper looked between them.
“What’s a Rejuvenation Spell?” Tony’s smile became suspiciously mischievous.
He leaned over and whispered something into her ear.
A second later— SMACK!
Pepper punched him.
Her entire face turned scarlet.
Meanwhile, Rowan’s laughter could still be heard from upstairs.
Back in his room, Rowan lay on his bed.
Thinking about everything that had happened lately.
Thor.
Loki.
Iron Man.
School.
Unfortunately.
Mostly school.
Eventually, exhaustion won.
And he drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Rowan woke up to an empty house.
“JARVIS.” “Where is everyone?” “Ms.
Potts has already left for work.” “Mr.
Stark is currently in the laboratory.” A few minutes later, Rowan entered the workshop.
Tony was already buried in work.
“Morning, Tony.” “Morning.” Tony didn’t even look up.
“What are you working on?” “More armor upgrades?” Tony nodded.
“Yesterday you mentioned Thor.” “The God of Thunder.” “He uses lightning.” “So I’m adding some countermeasures.” Rowan stared.
For several seconds.
Then slowly backed away.
“Yesterday.” “I mentioned Thor yesterday.” “And today you’re already building anti-Thor technology.” He shook his head.
“Geniuses are terrifying.” “I want no part of this.” He immediately turned toward the exit.
“I’m going out.” “See you later.” “Wait.” Tony suddenly remembered something.
“There’s a Formula One race in Monaco coming up.” “I’m planning to go.” He finally looked up from the computer.
“You should come too.” Monaco.
The moment Rowan heard the name, a memory surfaced.
Whiplash.
The racetrack attack.
The Mark V suitcase armor.
Now that sounded interesting.
“Sure.” “Just tell me when.” Then he escaped before Tony could assign homework.
Standing outside the mansion, Rowan suddenly realized he had no plans.
China?
Too soon.
School?
Absolutely not.
Then another idea appeared.
“Maybe I should check on Thor.” Before leaving New Mexico, Rowan had secretly placed Faerie Fire on Thor.
The spell was still active.
Tracking him was easy.
A few minutes later, Rowan arrived above New Mexico.
He immediately located Thor.
Then immediately regretted it.
Thor and Jane were eating together.
Nothing particularly romantic was happening.
No hand-holding.
No kissing.
Nothing obvious.
Yet somehow the entire scene radiated romantic energy.
The way they looked at each other made everything painfully clear.
Rowan stared for exactly three seconds.
Then turned around.
Immediately.
“That’s enough.” “Absolutely enough.” “It’s barely morning and I’ve already been force-fed relationship nonsense.” He accelerated away.
While muttering darkly: “If I ever come back to watch these two flirt again…” “…then I’m not human.” Defeated.
Heartbroken.
And thoroughly single.
Rowan Ashford returned home in shame.