Monday Peter and Tony appeared on screen.
The first wore a broad smile; the second looked happy but vaguely displeased.
Peter called this state Mild Disapproval and, honestly, it was nearly the only version of Tony’s displeasure he ever experienced.
They both settled onto the couch.
Peter checked with F.R.I.D.A.Y.
one final time to make sure she was recording.
Tony merely snorted and gathered the puppy and kitten into his arms.
An adorable sight.
“Hi.” Peter waved at the camera.
“You probably know who we are, so I don’t even need to invent a cool greeting.
This guy and I decided to take part in the ‘Seven Days as a Vlogger’ challenge.” “You decided,” Tony corrected immediately, stroking the cat with one hand and the dog with the other.
He looked like an animal whisperer.
“I happened to be standing within reach.” “Basically, the idea is that we spend an entire week making a video for you every day.
I think you’ll enjoy seeing how we live and learning something new about this guy.” Peter tried unsuccessfully to lure at least one animal away from Tony.
“Hope you like it.” Tony made several skeptical noises, and then the shot changed.
The animals were gone from the couch.
Stark now held a whiteboard on his lap and a marker in one hand.
His other arm rested around Peter, and he was probably unconsciously playing with the kid’s curls.
Peter had a board too, but he also held a strange bowl and stirred slips of paper inside it.
Tony lazily reminded him that F.R.I.D.A.Y.
was already filming.
Peter muttered something, looked at the camera, and tried to sit straighter.
Tony’s arm made that difficult, but Peter managed without throwing it off.
“And this is the first thing we’re doing.
It’s a game where you guess each other’s answers to test how well you know your partner.” Peter smirked while Tony rolled his eyes.
“I asked Pepper to write some questions, and now we both have to answer them.” Peter launched into an explanation of the rules.
When he finished, he drew the first slip.
Its text appeared in the corner of the video in Pepper’s elegant handwriting, and Peter read it aloud for Tony.
“What is my favorite ice-cream flavor?” They both began writing.
When they finished, Tony grinned shamelessly and turned his board first.
“You love anything with chocolate, mint, and cherry.” Peter smiled in astonishment and turned his own board, revealing the same three words.
“I didn’t think you knew.” “Even Natasha knows.
Last week you and Bucky tried to make homemade ice cream and flooded an entire floor with it.” Tony smiled and ruffled the kid’s hair.
Peter flushed slightly, though his eyes made it clear that he was not ashamed in the least.
Tony reached for another slip and asked his question.
“Which of the little ones is my favorite?” Peter snorted and immediately wrote something.
Then he dove out of frame and returned holding the cat.
“Darkness.
He absolutely adores her.” Tony’s expression suggested he was attempting to take offense.
“Nope.” Tony turned his board.
It read You.
“My favorite little one is Peter.” Peter began muttering that he was not technically part of the little-ones category, while looking extraordinarily pleased.
He reached into the bowl and pulled another slip.
“My three favorite people.” They both wrote and turned their boards at the same moment.
Peter stared in shock at the completely identical answers, apparently unable to understand how Tony knew him so well.
“May, because she’s your aunt and you love her very much.” Something passed through Tony’s eyes, as though he remembered something unpleasant, but a second later he was smiling again.
“MJ, because you’re dating her.
Me, because I’m awesome.
Honestly, restricting it to three people is cruel.
Pete is friends with so many people it’s impossible to choose.” “And you still got it right.
But I love Pepper too,” Peter immediately added, making Tony laugh.
The shot changed again.
They were still on the couch, but now a pizza box sat beside Peter.
Tony drew his next question.
“A television series I could watch all day?
Hm.
Amusing.” “House, M.D.,” Peter answered without bothering to write.
“You watch it constantly.” “That one was easy, brat.” Peter smiled, nudged Tony lightly in the side, and reached for a slip.
The moment he unfolded it, he began laughing and struggled to read between fits of amusement.
“Name the item in my wardrobe that annoys you most.
Oh God, I apparently have no chance of winning this game.” Peter calmed down and watched Tony brightly.
Neither of them even attempted to use the boards now.
“I sincerely hate your entire wardrobe.” Tony laughed when Peter groaned that he had known it.
“All right, last question?” Tony drew a slip and read it carefully.
He frowned for a second, then looked at Peter with a teasing smile.
Genuine curiosity shone in his expression.
“What do you think I would be willing to do for you?” “Pepper, why did you write questions like this?
Is this the moment when I have to admit how caring you are?” Tony nodded happily, and Peter laughed.
“Well, for a start, you already flew to me from Uruguay, went to see Mrs.
Collins, memorized my friends’ names, sat still for six hours while I slept on you, and bought me a dog.
I assume the answer is anything?” Tony smiled, nodded in satisfaction, and kissed the kid briefly on the forehead.
That naturally destroyed Peter’s ability to function.
Tony picked up the cat while Peter gave himself several seconds to recover from the shock, then sat properly again and moved the boards and markers somewhere out of frame.
“So that was the first video of our vlogging week.” Peter glanced briefly at Tony.
“He won today, but we’ll see how long he can maintain that record.
See you soon!” Peter leaned back on the couch, called Charlie over, and shoved Tony farther away.
Then he remembered someone needed to stop the recording and asked F.R.I.D.A.Y.
to do it.
*** “Peter and Tony Play the Newlywed Game?”—#1 on the Trending tab.
IronKiddo Comments: IronKiddo Tony chose the channel name!
Show 18,932 replies TheEllenShow Damn.
I think we know who will occupy the trending page all week… Show 1,774 replies SpidyGator OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod, can I come over?
Show 278 replies VeryFrozen I open YouTube and discover that freaking Tony Stark has joined a challenge!
What is happening?!
Show 8,222 replies *** Tuesday Peter and Tony were back on the couch, reading something on a tablet.
Peter’s shoulders shook with silent laughter, while Tony’s eyebrows had practically met in the middle of his forehead.
They looked up at the camera together.
Peter waved cheerfully.
“Hi, everyone.
We’re back.” Peter shifted until he was more comfortable.
“Yesterday you sent us a huge number of questions, so we decided to answer some of them.
Tony complained, of course, but agreed anyway.
First question: ‘Damn, why didn’t Tony Stark adopt me?’ Well?
Defend yourself.” “One of you is more than enough.” Tony snorted and smiled slyly.
“Here is a brief guide to what you must do if you want me to adopt you.
First, be extremely intelligent.
Second, your name must be Peter Parker.
Third, lift Thor’s hammer.” “Oh yes, I did that.” Peter broke into a smile, probably remembering the moment.
“Okay, question number two for Mr.
I’m-a-Cool-Guy.
‘I have watched a lot of his public appearances, and I have only one question: how does Ms.
Potts tolerate all of this?’ Seriously, Tony, confess.
Did you enchant her?” “Oh, children.
She does not tolerate it.
She organizes it.” Tony smiled charmingly and waggled his eyebrows.
“Besides, she knew what she was signing up for when she married me.” “And he’s actually not that terrible.” Peter stuck his tongue out at Tony, who gave an extremely theatrical gasp.
“Third question for Mr.
Billionaire, then we move on to mine.
Incidentally, I received even more questions.
‘What is it like to suddenly acquire a child?'” “What do you mean, suddenly?” Tony protested theatrically.
“Try living with my personality.
No child required.” “Amazing, because I’m awesome.” “Yes, amazing, because he’s awesome.” Peter and Tony looked at each other and began laughing at the same time.
The shot changed.
Tony now held the tablet and cleared his throat before reading the first question.
“God, I feel like an idiot.” Peter giggled and bumped Tony lightly in the shoulder.
“All right, kiddo, here’s yours.
‘Which do you love more, puppies or kittens?’ Hm.
I truly cannot imagine, Pete.” “I have absolutely no puppy idea.” Laughing, Peter bent down and vanished from frame, then reappeared holding the snow-white puppy.
“That is such a pawsitively difficult question that I don’t know how to answer in a sufficiently puppyish way.
Honestly, I just love everyone.
But I have an adorable puppy named Charlie and a cat named Darkness, though she belongs more to Tony.
He gets jealous when she plays only with me.” “And you get jealous when both of them sleep on me because you don’t want to share your place, right?” Peter nodded with almost no embarrassment, making Tony laugh, then set the puppy on the floor.
“Question number two.
‘Are you always comfortable talking to someone like Tony Stark?’ Oh yes.
Go ahead.
Bury my reputation.” “Tony is incredibly sweet and caring, but even with him, ordinary conversation sometimes feels strange.
It can be something as basic as not being able to ask for what I want, but he and Pepper are very committed to retraining me.” Peter shrugged.
Tony silently mouthed puppy, clearly reminding him of something.
“I’m used to the Avengers, and they adore me anyway.
The only people I’m still a little afraid to talk to are Happy and Nick Fury.
They’re dangerous.” “When exactly did you speak to Nick Fury?” Peter gave a high-pitched squeak at Tony’s suddenly terrifying stare, and the video cut off.
After several seconds of darkness, the recording resumed.
Peter looked slightly ashamed.
A phone lay beside Tony, who wore the calm expression of someone who had just delivered a severe lecture, with a hint of malicious satisfaction in his eyes.
Probably Nick Fury.
“Third question, and then I’m going back to work,” Tony announced firmly while scrolling through the tablet.
“‘What is your favorite memory involving Tony?’ Go ahead, brat.
Destroy us.” “I feel like I’m ruining my reputation.
Yours too.” Tony smiled and patted Peter’s shoulder.
“Basically, I’ve had a lot of terrible things happen in my life, so sometimes I have nightmares.
This was the first time it happened while I was with Tony.
He was so frightened and confused, and then he panicked and made me something like eight cups of tea and sat with me for the entire night.
I have a lot of favorite memories, but that one stayed with me.” Tony smiled and pulled the kid a little closer.
Everyone could probably see that his eyes had become wet, but no one mentioned it in the comments out of tact.
Mostly because everyone watching had exactly the same expression.
The shot changed again.
Peter and Tony were still on the couch, but the tablet was gone and the puppy wriggled across Peter’s lap.
“That’s everything for today.
Tony wants to return to his workshop.” Tony stuck his tongue out at him with complete childishness.
“See you soon!” This time F.R.I.D.A.Y.
ended the recording immediately, so there were no amusing post-credit scenes.
*** “Peter and Tony Answer Your Questions.
Does Anyone Know Where Nick Fury Is Now?”—#1 on the Trending tab.
IronKiddo Comments: jimmy fallon Ellen, you were right.
These guys have taken over the charts.
(Help.
Tony Stark is destroying my show’s ratings!!!) Show 7,021 replies TheEllenShow First, I’m always right.
Second, nobody watches your show.
Third, help—Tony Stark is destroying MY show’s ratings!!!
Show 9,376 replies Jimmy Kimmel Live I would love to make a sarcastic remark, but Tony is destroying even MY ratings… Show 8,642 replies ClarissaFM Peter, Tony, look what you’re doing.
So many talk shows are about to lose their hosts XD Show 2,309 replies *** Wednesday Peter appeared in an unusual setting.
Instead of sitting on the couch, he spun in a chair in the laboratory.
Tony was visible over his shoulder, playing with holograms.
Parts of the image were strangely blurred, which was completely unlike their usual videos.
Peter stopped spinning and smiled into the camera.
“Hi, everyone!
Tony is a little busy today, so we’re staying with him in the lab.” Peter shrugged.
Tony ignored the camera entirely and quietly argued with DUM-E in the background.
“I apologize in advance for the video quality.
Here’s the situation: we are currently in a laboratory containing the newest developments in the world.
Half of them are not patented or finished yet, and some are potentially lethal—for example, the Avengers’ weapons.
I really don’t want a competitor stealing something we have worked on for so long.
F.R.I.D.A.Y.
will blur certain parts of the image.
I hope you don’t mind.” Peter smiled, rolled away from the table, fiddled with several devices, answered Tony’s question about the location of something called a ‘nano-splitter,’ and returned to frame holding… a metal arm?
“This arm is a custom order for Bucky Barnes, better known as the Winter Soldier.” Peter’s eyes lit up.
“It’s almost ready.
I have already configured all the nerve endings.
The only thing left is making it more, well, human.
So today’s video is a master class on how to make an arm for a super-soldier.
Then, when Tony is free, we’ll visit those puppies and give it to Bucky.
Ready?” Peter surrounded himself with a mountain of boxes, vials, devices, and tools.
He constantly mixed substances and attached artificial skin to the arm, explaining his actions without pause.
The footage occasionally jumped forward, apparently skipping especially time-consuming work.
Peter was shaping the texture of the skin on the fingers when Tony appeared in the background.
He announced that he had finished with his ‘babies’ and asked how much longer Peter needed.
Peter muttered something unintelligible while sealing the folds between the fingers.
Tony merely hummed, ruffled the kid’s hair, disappeared for a while, and returned with two cups of tea and a package of cookies.
The next section played in fast motion: Peter attached things, mixed things, drank tea, spoke with Tony, attached more things, and mixed more substances in his vials.
Suddenly the speed returned to normal, and Peter happily waved the finished hand through the air.
It now looked completely real.
“My child is a genius,” Tony announced while examining it.
“The video will probably last six minutes.
He has been sitting here for five hours.
Come on.
Let’s make our disastrous chef happy.” “Yes, you have no idea how much Bucky loves cooking,” Peter immediately explained while heading toward the elevator.
Under any other circumstances, a child waving a human hand would have been deeply strange.
In this video, it seemed entirely natural.
Tony and Peter argued playfully during the elevator ride.
When they reached the correct floor, Peter hid the arm behind his back and asked F.R.I.D.A.Y.
to record everyone’s reaction.
Natasha, Wanda, Vision, Bruce, Sam, Steve, and Bucky were in the common room.
Perfect.
Exactly what they needed.
Everyone looked mildly surprised when Tony and Peter appeared and paused whatever they were doing.
Peter could already imagine viewers’ reactions when they saw Bruce braiding Wanda’s hair while Wanda braided Natasha’s, Vision and Bucky watching Brokeback Mountain, and Sam teaching Steve to use the coffee machine.
Peter genuinely could not remember a time when this room had been peaceful and something absurd was not happening.
Nearly everyone watched Peter with interest.
Even the way he breathed suggested a person desperate to surprise someone.
He winked discreetly at the camera and waved with his free hand.
“Decided to bless us with your presence?” Natasha asked with a sly squint, careful not to move and anger Wanda.
“I have a purpose.” Peter immediately walked toward Bucky.
“I have something for you!” Bucky raised an eyebrow.
Peter brought the arm out from behind his back and sincerely enjoyed everyone’s astonishment.
Bucky carefully held it and studied it in disbelief.
It felt like ordinary skin.
It was even warm.
“I’ve been here for a week and a half,” Bucky said suspiciously.
Peter merely smirked.
“We spent the first two days baking.
Then you visited Thor.
When did you do this?” “That’s unimportant.” Peter took the arm back and gestured for Bucky to stand.
“In summary: I connected nerve endings, synthesized the skin from your DNA, and added temperature regulation.
Want to try it?” Bucky nodded.
Peter began attaching and securing components with practiced motions.
The room became absolutely silent while everyone waited to see what would happen.
Once the arm was connected and Bucky had opened and closed his fist several times, Tony carefully offered him a small ball.
The moment Bucky took it, surprise flooded his face and the ball dropped from his fingers.
“That is the first time I’ve felt warmth through this hand.
I’m honestly in shock.” Peter smiled and patted the arm.
Perhaps that had not been wise, because Bucky looked even more stunned.
“This is incredible.
Thank you.
You’re a genius.” Peter only smiled brightly, wished everyone a pleasant evening, and dragged Tony into the elevator.
Stark remained silent, but his face showed overwhelming pride.
The shot changed.
They were both sitting on the familiar couch again and smiling at the camera.
“So that was one day in our lives.
I hope you enjoyed it.
See you soon.” F.R.I.D.A.Y.
ended the video, but not quite quickly enough to avoid recording Tony ruffling Peter’s hair with satisfaction.
Damn.
Their duo was far too adorable.
*** “Peter and Tony: A Tutorial, Arms, and Avengers”—#1 on the Trending tab.
IronKiddo Comments: IronKiddo I hope the puppies don’t see this.
Officially, Tony and I are destroying not only each other’s reputations but the Avengers’ too.
Show 22,802 replies JustinHammer Does anyone know software that can restore blurred images?
Show 242 replies IronDaddy Hammer, I’m watching you (0.0) P.S.
The brat chose this username as revenge.
Show 37,031 replies Romanof(uckof)f I knew Peter was a little menace, but sinking to Tony’s level?… I would also like to note that the braids looked fantastic XD Show 7,903 replies GreenIsNewBlack Why does he call us “puppies”?
Show 6,534 replies TRueMJ Peter and his puppy puns are following me even here!!!
Show 3,211 replies *** Thursday Peter appeared on screen breathless and flushed, as though he had been running.
This time he held the camera himself rather than leaving the task to the all-powerful F.R.I.D.A.Y.
Probably because he was in a forest.
“Puppy greetings, everyone!” Peter did not wave, only smiled.
“You may be wondering where I am, where Tony is, and most importantly why I’m running.
It is a fairly interesting story.” Peter turned the camera around to reveal a puppy racing ahead.
Apparently he was trying to catch Charlie, who was delightedly charging through the woods.
“So, yes.
I’m walking the dog.
Also, we’re in Alaska!
Tony bought a house here.” Peter stopped talking and tried to catch his breath.
He finally caught Charlie and held the puppy against his chest.
“And who is our badly behaved puppy, hm?
Technically Clint, but you too.
Anyway, everyone, we’re in Alaska, and when Charlie and I get back to Tony, we’ll give you a tour of the new house.
It’ll be fun!” The shot changed.
Peter now filmed a beautiful house that blended naturally into the surrounding forest.
Knowing Tony, one might have expected something snow-white or completely automated, but the building looked more like a castle.
It appeared cozy even from outside, moss-covered along the sides and seemingly transported from an old fairy tale.
Peter was delighted.
The footage shifted again.
Peter set the puppy on the floor and approached Tony, who was examining the kitchen with interest.
The interior was styled in an old-fashioned way, with elaborate carved furniture and many beautiful tapestries.
Even so, hidden speakers and cameras could occasionally be seen.
F.R.I.D.A.Y.
was already here.
“Well, Tony, ready to inspect your estate?” Tony flinched slightly at Peter’s voice but nodded and began explaining the various devices he had hidden in the house.
Tony demonstrated how he had concealed an enormous amount of modern technology so that none of it appeared visible.
He had even left the windows in their ornate frames and merely added automatic heating and opening systems.
Peter occasionally dissolved into laughter when Tony abruptly announced things like, “See that lamp on the wall?
I put a forest-scented air freshener in it!” As though there were not an actual forest outside.
They toured all five bedrooms, the library, three bathrooms, a study, the living room—with a fireplace—the kitchen, a dressing room, and even a formal dining hall.
The house truly resembled a palace.
Peter was in heaven.
He tried to film every room and show every device Tony had concealed.
During the tour, it became clear that the house had remained largely unaltered only because Peter had begged them not to change it.
“The kid said the house looked like a fairy-tale palace, so Pep and I decided to leave it as it was.” Tony smiled unexpectedly.
“Though I am planning one unusual addition.
I’m working on a climate dome to place around the property.
Imagine arriving in the middle of summer, changing the dome settings, and enjoying the snow.” “I would absolutely approve of that.” Peter’s eyes shone.
Tony laughed and suggested putting Charlie on a leash and taking a proper walk.
Peter agreed and went to look for the dog.
“I think that’s everything for today.
Hope you enjoyed it.
See you tomorrow!” Peter had almost stopped the recording when Charlie appeared in the final seconds, barking happily and jumping against his owner’s legs.
*** “Peter and Tony: Where Are We?
A HoUsE Tour”—#1 on the Trending tab.
IronKiddo Comments: ElonMuskOfficial You should be more careful.
Now everyone will travel to Alaska and search for your house.
Show 3,571 replies IronKiddo Tony says he’ll add an invisibility mode to the dome for situations like that, Elon, so you don’t need to worry about us.
(I still cannot recover from the shock that I AM LITERALLY TALKING TO ELON MUSK!!!) Show 23,456 replies SpidyGator Pete, you live with the Avengers, hang out with Tony, and you’re still shocked by Elon Musk?
(I can’t believe it either!!!) Show 7,645 replies IronDaddy Someone please tell them that everyone can see what they write in parentheses, not only the two of them.
Show 12,876 replies TRueMJ No, Mr.
Stark.
They’re hopeless… Show 6,452 replies El Why is nobody talking about how adorable they are?????
Show 32,064 replies