Like a small animal that had suffered every imaginable hurt and finally convinced itself it had found a safe haven, he desperately wanted to curl himself into the smallest ball possible, trying to squeeze every part of himself into that shelter.
Even if it was cold, damp and dangerous.
Even if, at any moment, the darkness lurking in its depths could swallow him whole.
After that, You Li simply cried.
He cried quietly, as though he truly hurt beyond endurance. His breathing was faint, almost imperceptible, silent tears slipping endlessly down his face.
Whenever the Clown moved even slightly, he would flinch in alarm and curl in on himself even tighter.
Tears dripped down one after another.
His arms wrapped around the Clown even more tightly.
There was simply nothing that could be done with him.
The Clown found himself held so tightly that he could barely move. Looking the young man over, he realized that after being gone for less than two hours, You Li had already become an absolute mess.
A strip had been torn from his hospital gown, leaving it ragged and tattered. His pant legs were smeared with bloodstains and his white socks were covered with dried patches of dark, crusted blood.
The Clown wasn’t particularly skilled at comforting people. When he placed a hand against the back of the person in his arms, he paused for a brief moment, the movement awkward and unfamiliar.
He gently patted his back once before asking patiently,
“Who bullied you?”
You Li didn’t answer.
He only cried.
So the Clown began taking off his clothes.
He started with the socks. Pulling over the white lab coat lying nearby, he turned it inside out and used it to wipe away the blood staining You Li’s feet.
Some of it had already dried too firmly to come off, so he left it alone for the time being before rolling up his pant legs, carefully checking every inch to make sure there were no wounds hidden beneath.
When he reached You Li’s upper body, however, he had barely moved when the bundle the young man had been clutching protectively against his stomach suddenly came spilling onto the floor with a loud clatter.
Plastic bags.
Restraint straps.
Medicine boxes.
Countless blister packs of pills scattered everywhere.
The Clown used the knuckles of his fingers to pry apart You Li’s tightly shut lips.
“What did you take? Open your mouth and let me see.”
His strength left no room for resistance and neither did the firmness of his movements.
Strangely enough, You Li obeyed without hesitation.
He opened his mouth obediently and even mimicked the sound himself, exhaling softly,
“…Ah…”
The moment he opened his mouth, the tears running down his face dripped straight inside yet he didn’t close it again.
He simply kept it open like that, quietly letting the Clown examine him.
The Clown’s rigid movements faltered.
His strength eased unconsciously.
Leaning closer, his mask came so near that it was almost pressed against the young man’s soft, damp lips. Tears and saliva smeared across the cold surface of the mask.
Only after a long moment did he finally catch the faint, bitter scent of medicine.
The Clown drew back and gently closed You Li’s jaw.
Then he asked again,
“Does anything hurt?”
“Where does it hurt? Are you injured anywhere?”
This time, he asked even more carefully.
You Li still refused to speak.
The Clown threatened him.
“If you don’t answer, I’ll leave you here.”
You Li’s tears fell even harder.
“…Don’t leave me.”
“…It doesn’t hurt.. but I feel so awful. My whole body feels terrible.”
He reached for the Clown’s hand and placed it gently over his own stomach.
“My stomach feels really bad too. I want to throw up.. but I can’t.”
“My head feels really dizzy too. I think… it’s broken.”
“I don’t want to talk… I don’t want to talk…”
Still awkward and inexperienced, the Clown slowly began rubbing his stomach.
“Who told you to swallow that much medicine like it was food? You stuffed yourself stupid and didn’t even realize it.”
His voice softened as he coaxed him,
“Just say a few more sentences. You won’t have to talk anymore after that.”
You Li watched him rubbing his stomach.
“They said… if I took the medicine, I’d get better. There wouldn’t be any blood anymore. They smelled so bad… I was scared.”
“If I took the medicine… I’d be able to go back to the normal world.”
His thoughts had become unbearably sluggish.
Even the way he looked at people had grown blurred and unfocused.
He was so sleepy.
Whenever he tried to think about something, his mind moved painfully, impossibly slowly, as though he had forgotten countless things yet when he actually spoke, his brain somehow pieced the answers together on its own.
The logic was strangely complete…
…and yet completely bizarre.
You Li murmured,
“See? I took the medicine.. and I came back.”
“I saw you come to pick me up.”
Even though the nurse’s severed body lay split into two pieces right beside him, it was as if he genuinely couldn’t see it anymore.
Nor could he smell the thick, nauseating stench of blood.
The Clown continued guiding him patiently.
“Who bullied my precious, hmm?”
You Li lowered his eyes, confusion clouding his expression.
He looked pained as he suddenly began striking his own head with force.
“I can’t remember… I can’t remember…”
“Remember…”
“Come on… remember…”
The Clown immediately caught both of his hands.
“It’s alright.”
“If you can’t remember, then we won’t think about it anymore.”
The medicine’s effects were growing stronger and stronger.
Multiple overlapping images appeared before You Li’s eyes.
His speech became increasingly slurred.
“…Medicine…”
“…Need to get the medicine…”
“…Need to save someone…”
The Clown asked,
“What medicine?”
“Who are you trying to save?”
“Where are they?”
Already half-asleep, You Li slumped against his shoulder and slowly closed his eyes.
“So much blood…”
“…Need to save…”
“…At… at the place… where the Prince and the Princess are…”
The Clown continued patting his back.
Only after the young man had completely fallen asleep did he lift him into his arms with one hand.
With the other, he gathered everything scattered across the floor, placing each medicine box neatly back into the bag before picking up the scalpel.
He left the restraint straps behind.
Rising to his feet, the Clown casually kicked the corpse lying at his feet aside.
Without pausing for even a moment, he turned and walked straight into the pharmacy.
His knowledge of medicine was every bit as thorough as You Li’s.
He quickly collected several medications for treating external wounds, including hemostatic agents, anti-inflammatory drugs and rolls of bandages.
His footsteps never hesitated for even a second.
His destination was unmistakably clear.
The recreation room.
Chen Shuang was awakened by a deafening crash.
The doors to the recreation room were pushed open without the slightest hesitation.
The newcomer swept a glance around the room, then remained standing at the doorway.
With a casual flick of his hand, he tossed the medicine onto the floor in front of her.
The moment he had thrown it over, he couldn’t be bothered to remain there for even one second longer.
He turned around…
…and walked away.
Only then did Chen Shuang struggle to lift her eyes.
The instant she saw clearly, all traces of drowsiness vanished.
Even without the white lab coat, she immediately recognized that departing figure.
It was the Clown.
His steps were hurried yet there was someone clearly draped over his shoulder.
Chen Shuang wanted to look more carefully but before she could catch another glimpse, the recreation room door had already swung shut again with a rebound.
From beginning to end, the entire encounter hadn’t even lasted three seconds.
She stared at the medicine scattered across the floor before her in utter disbelief.
Her lifesaving medicine.
She hesitated over and over, wavering between wondering whether it was poisoned or safe.
In the end…
…she chose to use it.
The consultation room door was kicked open with a loud bang.
The Clown’s movements were rough, his tone full of irritation.
“What kind of useless medicine did you prescribe? Come take a look at him.”
The doctor had already finished his working hours and was resting with his eyes closed. It wasn’t until he heard the latter half of the sentence that he finally opened them and looked over.
“What happened?”
The Clown gestured toward the person in his arms.
“He swallowed himself stupid.”
The doctor didn’t seem the least bit bothered that the young man was being carried by someone else.
He rose to his feet and motioned for the Clown to bring him over.
You Li was transferred into another person’s embrace.
He slept restlessly but the medicine’s effects were far too overwhelming. Sleepiness had nearly wrapped itself around every part of him.
Instinctively, he tried to open his arms, seeking someone to hold onto.
But every time he lifted them, they were gently pushed back down.
Again.
And again.
Until, in the end, both of his hands were restrained.
You Li was placed atop the examination table.
Behind him, he leaned against the Clown’s chest.
In front of him stood the doctor.
Completely unaware of everything around him, he continued sleeping.
The Clown gripped both of his wrists firmly, preventing him from reaching out to embrace the person standing before him.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance.
Clearly displeased.
The doctor’s expression remained unchanged.
Without wasting a second, he began sorting through the medicine boxes inside the bag. After confirming that every blister pack had been taken according to the proper dosage, he reached for his stethoscope.
“Lift up his shirt.”
The Clown didn’t have a spare hand available.
Using the tip of his scalpel instead, he hooked the hem of You Li’s shirt and flipped it all the way up to his neck.
The doctor bent slightly, placing the stethoscope against his chest.
The heartbeat echoing through it was steady.
Strong.
Clear.
Next, he gently pried open one of You Li’s eyes for a closer examination.
“Open his mouth too.”
The Clown pinched You Li’s soft cheeks, forcing him to tilt his head back and part his lips.
The doctor shone a small light inside for inspection.
Only then did he finally conclude,
“He’s asleep.”
“Nothing’s happened.”
He poured a cup of water.
Surprisingly, the Clown showed no objection whatsoever when the doctor reached over, took You Li from him and held him in his own arms.
As long as You Li wasn’t the one initiating the contact…
…the Clown’s attitude could even be described as calm.
Meanwhile, from beginning to end, the doctor’s expression never changed.
He didn’t seem to mind the Clown carrying You Li.
Nor did he seem bothered that the young man instinctively curled himself into the Clown’s embrace.
Patiently, he fed You Li small sips of water.
The lingering bitterness left by the medicine inside his mouth was slowly washed away.
The water soothed his dry, burning throat.
Gradually, You Li’s sleeping expression became increasingly peaceful.
His breathing steadied.
His body relaxed.
Even unconsciously, he no longer reached out to fumble for someone.
He had completely fallen into a deep, restful sleep.
Standing nearby with his arms folded, the Clown watched him.
“If he’s fine, then why did he end up like this?”
The doctor replied,
“The combined effects of the two medications produced rather severe side effects. On top of that, the mental shock caused by the world’s transition and fusion has left his consciousness somewhat disordered.”
“It’s only temporary confusion.”
“Once he gets through the adjustment period, he’ll improve.”
“For the next couple of days, keep an eye on him and make sure he takes his medicine on schedule.”
“Since he’s already started taking it, don’t let him stop halfway.”
The doctor lifted You Li into his arms again, allowing him to rest against his shoulder.
“What’s with the red marks on his face and body?”
“You used the restraint straps again?”
The Clown idly spun the scalpel between his fingers.
“He wasn’t being obedient.”
“He kept trying to run away.”
Only then did the doctor’s gaze finally turn cold.
The Clown merely spread his hands.
“I couldn’t split myself in two.”
“I had to chase him while making sure the monsters in the hospital didn’t injure him.”
He let out a cold laugh.
“I haven’t even started tonight’s work yet.”
“I even helped him save someone.”
The doctor turned and walked away.
“You’re useless.”
The Clown headed toward the ward.
“I’ll go get some ointment.”
The doctor divided the work between them without hesitation.
“And bring back a clean set of hospital clothes.”
By the time the Clown returned, You Li had just been lowered into the bathtub.
The blood staining the young man’s body gradually dissolved into the warm water.
His breathing was soft.
Slow.
Gentle.
Even in his sleep, his body visibly relaxed beneath the comforting warmth of the water.
The Clown tossed the medicine to the doctor and the two naturally exchanged tasks.
Half-crouching beside the bathtub, he wrapped one arm around You Li to prevent him from slipping beneath the water.
With the pads of his fingers, he carefully rubbed away the bloodstains that refused to soak off completely.
Meanwhile, the doctor examined the medicine labels one by one.
Eventually, the entire bathtub had turned a pale shade of pink from the diluted blood.
Only then did they switch to the shower.
Warm water continuously washed over him.
Again.
And again.
Until every last trace of blood had disappeared completely.
Only after there wasn’t even the faintest stain remaining did they wrap him securely in a bath towel.
Most of the Clown’s black suit was soaked through.
He handed You Li over to the doctor.
“When will he wake up?”
The doctor was applying ointment to the reddish marks left across You Li’s body by the restraint straps.
“Normally, after one full night’s sleep.”
“But if he’d already gotten enough rest beforehand, then once the medicine wears off, he could wake up at any time.”
He treated the wrists first.
Then the ankles.
Finally, his face.
After finishing with the first ointment, he switched to a second one, gently applying it over the swollen, reddened eyelids left behind from crying.
The Clown removed his drenched suit jacket.
His gaze was unreadable.
As though contemplating something.
He watched the sleeping youth for a long time before finally speaking.
“He trusts me a lot now.”
The Clown bent down halfway.
Using the back of one finger, he gently wiped away the lingering moisture still clinging to the young man’s eyelashes.
His touch was unbelievably gentle, as though he couldn’t bear to hurt him in the slightest.
Yet the amusement in his voice stood in complete contrast.
“I only planned to trick him over and play with him.”
“I never expected it would have this kind of effect.”
He murmured quietly,
“It’d be nice if he could stay this obedient forever.”
“It’d be even better if he could keep trusting me.”
He lifted his eyes toward the doctor.
“Is there any way to keep him in this state a little longer?”
The doctor calmly fastened the buttons on the hospital gown covering the young man in his arms.
His movements remained slow and unhurried.
After finishing the upper half, he continued buttoning the lower portion.
“There is.”
His tone remained just as indifferent as ever.
“Go sleep with him.”
Then, after a brief pause, he added flatly,
“You’ll get there faster in your dreams.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Nycreth
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
The chapter is finished. The chaos is not.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
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ChaptersChapter 1 · I have amnesia (1)Chapter 2 · I have amnesia (2)Chapter 3 · I have amnesia (3)Chapter 4 · I have amnesia (4)Chapter 5 · I have amnesia (5)Chapter 6 · I have amnesia (6)Chapter 7 · I have amnesia (7)Chapter 8 · I have amnesia (8)Chapter 9 · I have amnesia (9)Chapter 10 · I have amnesia (10)Chapter 11 · I have amnesia (11)Chapter 12 · I have amnesia (12)Chapter 13 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 14 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 15 · I have amnesia (15)Chapter 16 · I have amnesia (16)Chapter 17 · I have amnesia (17)Chapter 18 · I have amnesia (18)Chapter 19 · I have amnesia (19)Chapter 20 · I have amnesia (20)Chapter 21 · I have amnesia (21)Chapter 22 · I have amnesia (22)Chapter 23 · I have amnesia (23)Chapter 24 · I have amnesia (24)Chapter 25 · I have amnesia (25)Chapter 26 · I have amnesia (26)Chapter 27 · I have amnesia (27)Chapter 28 · I have amnesia (28)Chapter 29 · Desert Highway (1)Chapter 30 · Desert Highway (2)Chapter 31 · Desert Highway (3)Chapter 32 · Desert Highway (4)Chapter 33 · Desert Highway (5)Chapter 34 · Desert Highway (6)Chapter 35 · Desert Highway (7)Chapter 36 · Desert Highway (8)Chapter 37 · Desert Highway (9)Chapter 38 · Desert Highway (10)Chapter 39 · Desert Highway (11)Chapter 40 · Desert Highway (12)Chapter 41 · Desert Highway (13)Chapter 42 · Desert Highway (14)Chapter 43 · Desert Highway (15)