No one was speaking inside the consultation room yet in the suffocating silence, You Li felt as though he wanted to block his ears shut.
Too loud. Too loud.
Who was he supposed to believe?
Who could he trust?
The young man curled up tightly in his wheelchair, his thin back bent in pain. Without even realizing it himself, his whole body was trembling uncontrollably.
The doctor seemed to crouch halfway down in front of him, gently patting his back. “Are you alright?”
You Li could no longer hear anything clearly. It felt as though someone had leaned down behind him, icy breath brushing against the back of his neck as a soft laugh sounded by his ear.
“I thought you would mistake the third personality for me. So what am I now? Your fourth personality?”
That hallucination. That imaginary enemy had appeared again.
“I am you. You are me.”
“You don’t even trust yourself? Why are you so afraid of me?”
You Li nearly folded himself completely into the small wheelchair. His stiff legs curled inward as he hugged his knees tightly, burying his head while clutching it with both hands. Even his voice trembled.
“You’re not me… you’re not me…”
He wasn’t wearing shoes. His pale ankle was exposed outside the loose hospital pants, the oversized fabric draping down and barely covering the tops of his feet. Beneath the skin, faint bluish purple veins could be seen clearly.
He had shrunk himself into an impossibly tiny ball.
The doctor suddenly frowned and snapped sharply, “Enough.”
There was warning in his voice as he cast a disapproving glance toward the space behind You Li.
You Li was obviously startled. He curled into himself even tighter, murmuring in confusion and panic, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Doctor. I didn’t mean to. I can’t control it. I don’t want to shake either.”
He thought the doctor was speaking to him.
The doctor pressed a hand against his shoulder and soothed him patiently, “It’s alright. It’s alright now.” His hand firmly stroked along You Li’s back. “Don’t be afraid.”
A cold scoff came from behind him.
And then, suddenly, his entire world fell silent.
No one spoke anymore.
Everything inside his head also became quiet.
His hurried breathing slowly calmed. Looking dazed and uncertain, he raised his head but instead of looking at the doctor immediately, he first glanced around himself, both sides, behind him, checking over and over again.
There was truly no one there.
Only after realizing this did You Li become aware of how nervous and unstable he must have looked in front of the doctor. Unease surfaced in his eyes as he looked toward him carefully.
The doctor’s gaze remained calm, as though he had long since grown accustomed to scenes like this, as though he had seen far too many of them already. There was not the slightest trace of surprise in his expression.
“Feeling better?”
You Li slowly calmed down as well. He nodded quietly and somewhat helplessly lowered his legs from the wheelchair. The loose hospital gown once again covered his feet.
The doctor returned to his seat. “I already understand your condition but you know this yourself, if you refuse to cooperate with treatment, there’s nothing the hospital can do either.”
“Go back and get some sleep first.”
“Your mental state doesn’t seem very good right now.”
You Li nodded obediently in silence.
The doctor glanced at his wristwatch. “It’s already very late. I still need to do my ward rounds, so I won’t be able to escort you personally.”
“Doctor…” You Li suddenly called out.
His expression was uneasy, hesitant, almost pleading for help as he spoke softly, “I don’t want a nurse. Could you take me back instead?”
The doctor hesitated for a moment, seeming somewhat troubled but in the end he still agreed.
“Alright. Let’s go.”
“Pretending to be a good person now?”
Someone sneered coldly.
You Li acted as though he heard nothing. He completely ignored the hallucinated voices and lowered his head while the doctor pushed him back toward his ward.
After the doctor left as well, his world finally sank into complete silence.
At this hour, going outside was already forbidden.
From the moment he was wheeled back into the room, You Li simply sat there quietly without moving. He did not push the wheelchair forward, nor did he make any movement at all.
It was as though he had learned his lesson.
Only after confirming again and again that there was nothing unusual around him did he slowly begin to move the wheelchair, repeating the same routine he lived through every single day.
He needed to sleep.
If he failed to rest properly, his mental confusion would only grow worse.
You Li stood before the mirror to wash up, then stepped beneath the showerhead to bathe.
Today, however, he could not stand steadily.
He tried several times but in the end he pushed his wheelchair over and carried in a spare plastic stool from the bathroom corner before slowly sitting down to wash himself.
Every few moments while bathing, he would stop and glance behind himself again.
Originally, You Li had never cared that the bathroom only had half a door.
Nor had he cared that the ward door had been fitted with a transparent glass window so that doctors and nurses could monitor him at any time, supposedly to ensure the patients’ safety.
But now, You Li constantly felt as though someone was watching him.
Not secretly watching.
Watching him openly, without the slightest attempt to hide it.
Watching him struggle slightly as he sat on the small plastic stool and poured water over himself.
Watching streams of water slide little by little down his body.
Watching him spread the pale, milky transparent body wash across his skin.
Steam rose from the hot water, blurring the entire bathroom in a hazy mist. You Li liked turning the water temperature extremely high, so hot that even the soft pale skin of his body would slowly flush red beneath the scalding heat.
But suddenly, he could no longer tell whether the burning sensation truly came from the hot water cascading over him.
Supporting himself against the wall, You Li abruptly recoiled from the little stool in rejection. He shrank into the corner of the bathroom as though his space had been invaded by some outside intruder.
Yet this was only another illusion.
Because there was no one else in the bathroom.
It was empty except for himself.
He had no choice but to continue holding the showerhead, rinsing away the foam from his body.
Because of his stress induced walking disorder, he needed to brace himself against the wall just to stand and even then his legs trembled unstably beneath him.
As the hot water streamed over the tiny mole on the inside of You Li’s thigh, he suddenly felt as though someone had crouched before him.
As though someone was lowering their head, leaning close and pressing a kiss against that small mole hidden between his legs.
The burning heat.
His unsteady legs.
The steam clouded haze around him.
All of it gave rise to that terrifying illusion.
Holding the showerhead tightly, the young man stood blankly in the corner, bewildered and helpless as he lowered his gaze downward in a daze.
He happened to be facing the half open bathroom door,
And beyond it, directly aligned with the glass window in the ward door.
The next instant, without warning, You Li lifted his eyes,
And met the doctor’s gaze standing outside the door.
Why was the doctor here?
…Right. He was probably doing his rounds.
The doctor’s cold eyes looked directly at him without the slightest avoidance. His gaze lowered slightly, as though he were staring at the space between You Li’s legs,
Or perhaps at something else entirely.
Even the system’s voice became exceptionally cold as it spoke inside You Li’s mind, sounding as though it was enduring something with extreme restraint, or had already reached the limit of its patience.
“Let him come in.”
“Tell him your stress disorder has gotten worse. Tell him you can’t stand properly. Ask him to help you. Ask him to support you out.”
“Don’t stay in the bathroom alone anymore.”
“Leave this place.”
Under the doctor’s gaze, the strange burning heat radiating from the mole on You Li’s thigh did seem to gradually disappear.
He forced himself to ignore the other man’s strange, indifferent stare, comforting himself with the thought that in a doctor’s eyes, patients had no distinction of gender.
You Li did not want to trouble him.
The foam on his body had mostly been rinsed away already. He turned off the showerhead and grabbed the towel hanging nearby, wrapping it around himself.
Supporting himself against the wall, he slowly and painstakingly moved toward the wheelchair outside the shower area.
But for some reason, the floor suddenly seemed wetter and more slippery than before. Even the wall was coated with condensation, impossible to grip steadily.
Every step became painfully difficult.
His legs, weakened after the stress episode, were especially uncooperative, as though no matter how hard he tried, he simply could not leave the bathroom.
After what felt like a very long time, he had barely moved at all.
In the end, You Li had no choice but to speak.
“Doctor…”
He looked toward the person standing at the doorway watching him with concern and quietly asked for help.
“Could you help me?”
The doctor pushed the door open and walked inside.
A moment later, he opened the second door as well, entering the bathroom completely before stopping in front of the shower area.
“I thought you might need my help,” he explained calmly. “Seems I was right.”
You Li grasped the arm the doctor extended toward him and struggled forward slowly.
Under the gaze of three different people, he barely managed to cover himself with the towel as he painfully lowered himself into the wheelchair.
The doctor fetched a loose bathrobe and draped it over his body before wheeling him outside and pushing him to the bedside.
Wrapping the robe tightly around himself, You Li whispered softly, “Thank you, Doctor.”
“Mind your boundaries.”
Someone behind him spoke in a low voice.
It sounded almost like the doctor’s voice.
You Li turned around to look, only to find the doctor merely glancing down at his wristwatch. Noticing You Li’s gaze, he said, “I still need to continue my rounds. Will you be alright alone?”
You Li stared blankly for a moment before finally coming back to himself and nodding.
“I’ll be fine.”
The doctor left.
Once again, only You Li remained inside the ward.
He waited until the droplets of water on his skin had been absorbed by the bathrobe before changing clothes. Afterward, he slowly fumbled his way back onto the bed.
He pulled the blanket over himself and turned off the bedside lamp, preparing to sleep.
A moment later, however, he opened his eyes again in the darkness.
Although You Li suffered from mild neurasthenia, he had always slept well. It usually never took him long to fall asleep.
Even if the ward door could not be locked,
Even if someone outside could peer through the glass window at any moment,
He normally would not have felt uneasy.
Human instinct was sensitive.
Even though You Li currently sensed nothing concrete, he still vaguely felt that something was wrong.
For no reason at all, the ward no longer felt safe.
It no longer felt like it belonged to him.
In fact, even the hallway outside felt safer than this room.
It was as though someone else existed inside this ward besides him.
As though they were lying together on the same bed, sharing the same blanket, preparing to fall asleep together.
It was not that someone else had invaded his space.
It was that he had trespassed into someone else’s territory.
You Li felt strangely separated from himself, as though he had split into two people.
As though the person who originally belonged in this ward had never been him at all,
But the true owner of the asylum itself.
Someone he could neither see nor sense was overlapping with his body, lying in the exact same position beside him on the narrow single bed.
At first it had only been visual and auditory hallucinations.
But after that?
What would come next?
You Li could not stop himself from thinking further.
A severely mentally ill patient continuing to spiral deeper into his thoughts,
He did not want to keep thinking anymore yet his body instinctively screamed warnings at him.
He could not ignore it.
In the darkness, You Li slowly sat up.
Looking toward the faint corridor light filtering through the window in the door, he reached with difficulty for the wheelchair beside the bed and pulled himself into it.
He decided to give up his bed and spend the night near the nurses’ station instead.
At the very least, the two nurses on duty were real, living people.
It was currently past hospital curfew. The hallway outside was completely empty and the nurses’ station was located at the very end of the corridor corner.
Alone, You Li slowly pushed his wheelchair forward through the dim hallway.
Nearly every ward door on both sides was tightly shut.
Only one door remained half open, faint light spilling out from within, as though someone had deliberately left it open for another person.
You Li withdrew his gaze and quietly continued wheeling himself forward.
His curiosity had never been strong, nor did he possess any intense desire to investigate things.
But the very next second, he looked up,
And happened to meet the eyes of the girl with the bun hairstyle sneaking out from his own ward.
The two of them stared at each other in the corridor.
The bun haired girl showed no awkwardness whatsoever.
“So you came too?”
You Li looked confused.
“…?”
Their encounter was not really a coincidence. After the doctors and nurses finished their rounds, everyone usually emerged around this time.
The bun haired girl immediately stepped forward and grabbed his wheelchair handles.
“Quick, quick, hurry inside before the nurses notice!”
She swiftly pushed You Li into the half open room from earlier.
“You should’ve told us earlier you wanted to join our nightly chat.”
“Then we would’ve held it in your room instead. It’s not like you can walk easily anyway and you live alone too. We wouldn’t even have needed to waste an item knocking out the other NPCs.”
The ward was surprisingly lively.
All six people You Li had briefly interacted with earlier that afternoon were present, except for the bowl cut man they referred to as “the other NPC.”
Besides them, the room’s original three patients were also there. At this moment, however, they lay flat in their beds, sleeping deeply.
Unlike You Li’s private room, the other patients’ wards housed four people each. The beds were ordinary flat hospital beds rather than bunk style metal frames.
This was clearly the twin tailed girl’s ward, the self proclaimed veteran player.
Only she occupied the final bed.
Everyone else either leaned against the walls or sat on the floor.
The middle aged man and middle aged woman both appeared visibly anxious, while the others remained relatively calm.
The twin tailed girl frowned the instant she saw the wheelchair.
“Why is he here?”
The bun haired girl replied, “I ran into him on the way. Since we’re all players anyway, more people means more information sharing, so I brought him over.”
You Li felt completely out of place.
“What exactly are you all doing…?”
The bun haired girl’s expression turned strange.
“We gather every night to exchange information between players.”
“Except for you.”
“We all thought you were an NPC.”
Then she lowered her voice hurriedly.
“Keep your voice down. Even though we used an item, we still can’t be too loud. Once the volume exceeds forty decibels, the item loses effectiveness.”
You Li quietly nodded.
If someone truly slept well, ordinary forty decibel conversation normally wouldn’t wake them at all.
What kind of garbage item was this?
Was it even effective?
You Li desperately wanted to leave this place.
He had no desire whatsoever to join this bizarre, inexplicable large scale patient exchange meeting.
He was tired.
Very tired.
He only wanted to find the nurses at the station and ask whether they would let him stay there for one night.
But he was alone.
And there were six of them.
So You Li silently stayed quiet.
“I saw it. I really saw it.”
The middle aged woman kept speaking in a hushed voice.
“There was definitely something wrong with that psychotherapy session this afternoon. That doctor was absolutely guiding us deliberately.”
The middle aged man agreed firmly.
“Our mental states were completely fine these past few days. There’s no way we’d suddenly develop hallucinations only today.”
The buzz cut man asked, “What exactly did you see?”
The others also suspected something was wrong with the treatment session earlier, which was why they had stubbornly denied seeing anything when the doctor questioned them.
“The doctor. I saw the doctor.”
“No, it was a suit. He was wearing a suit underneath.”
The middle aged man and woman spoke simultaneously.
“He had a white coat on outside but underneath was a black suit and he was holding the surgical knife that plant mentioned earlier.”
“There was never anyone like that in the hospital before. I’ve never seen him but after today’s consultation ended, he suddenly appeared.”
The square faced man added, “We already investigated the entire hospital during the first two days after entering this instance. Whether NPCs or players, nobody dressed like that existed.”
The bun haired girl speculated, “Could it be that you imagined him? I think the doctor himself is suspicious. The things he says feel mentally contaminating somehow. My SAN value on the panel kept dropping.”
She continued thoughtfully, “Maybe the doctor hypnotized you. As long as you cooperated, you’d hallucinate this person.”
“These are hallucinations created through hypnosis and psychological suggestion. That’s why this person never appeared before. Because he isn’t real. Didn’t the doctor tell you to imagine an imaginary enemy?”
“And now you really have imagined one.”
The square faced man asked, “But are you sure you both saw the same person? What if everyone’s hallucination looks different?”
The middle aged man and woman denied it immediately.
“We confirmed it already. The characteristics all match. It’s the same person.”
The bun haired girl guessed further, “Then if we follow the doctor’s instructions and kill this imaginary enemy, maybe the hospital will judge us as cured.”
“And then we can clear the instance and leave the hospital.”
The buzz cut man said, “Do you really think the doctor, who never issued any missions during the first three days, would suddenly become the mission giver today?”
The twin tailed girl analyzed calmly, “No. That bowl cut guy isn’t one of us. He’s a plant arranged by the NPC faction. The surgical knife must also be part of the instance setting.”
She continued, “If we were imagining things ourselves, we definitely wouldn’t imagine the enemy holding a weapon.”
“Wouldn’t that just make killing him harder?”
“Which means the instance intentionally gave him a weapon. So there’s no way he’s as easy to kill as the doctor implied.”
The middle aged man and woman looked visibly troubled.
“Then how are we supposed to kill him?”
There was not even the slightest hesitation when they spoke of murder.
The twin tailed girl exchanged a glance with the buzz cut man.
“If we still can’t determine whether he’s real or just part of the hallucinations, then another person should step forward and add more traits to him.”
Her tone was light as her gaze swept slowly across everyone.
“So… who’s suitable?”
“And who’s willing?”
“After all, I think lying won’t work. It has to be something you genuinely believe.”
The quietly listening You Li suddenly became the center of everyone’s attention.
He was unfamiliar with every single person here.
He had no relationship with them at all.
As an outsider who had unexpectedly joined halfway through, he possessed neither authority nor anyone’s concern.
In everyone’s eyes, he had practically become the most suitable sacrificial test subject.
You Li was mentally ill, not stupid.
Even though he could not fully understand everything, he still grasped the meaning behind their words.
Under the fixed stares of those six pairs of eyes, he became almost completely at a loss.
After a moment, however, he seemed to remember something and visibly relaxed a little before cooperating softly.
“I already described something to the doctor.”
“I said it during the dream session. I don’t remember exactly what I told him. I think he hypnotized me.”
You Li lied quietly.
Uneasily, he repeatedly tightened his grip on the wheelchair armrests while lowering his head to stare at the floor.
He wanted to leave this place.
The twin tailed girl looked toward the others.
“Anyone else suitable?”
Then she turned toward the buzz cut man and smiled.
“I think the two of us are the most appropriate candidates.”
“But you know I’m an experienced player. If something happens to me, without my guidance it’ll be difficult for all of you to clear the instance on your own.”
“How about this? I’ll trade you a life saving item.”
“I’m guessing the doctor’s comment about violent tendencies and fear of retaliation refers to the classmate you bullied, right?”
The buzz cut man clenched his jaw tightly.
“Give me the item first.”
The twin tailed girl generously completed the transaction through the system panel.
“Received it?”
After checking, the buzz cut man replied coldly, “He’s very young. Still a student.”
Everyone waited quietly for a while.
Nothing happened.
The twin tailed girl spread her hands in disappointment.
“Looks like we’ll have to wait until your next hallucination episode to see him again.”
The patient exchange meeting finally came to an end once more.
The bun haired girl enthusiastically pushed You Li back toward the very ward he had wanted to escape from.
The room door still stood wide open.
Inside, the lights remained off.
It looked like a pitch black hollow opening.
As though it were welcoming,
Or waiting for,
You Li’s return.
Before he could say anything, the players had already pushed him inside.
Considerately, they even closed the door behind him and wished him goodnight.
A soft click echoed quietly through the darkness as the door shut.
It felt as though You Li had been locked inside.
Locked inside together with something else.
Trapped within that dark, narrow ward.
✦ ✧ ✦
Nycreth
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
The Realm demands coffee. The Realm is not accepting complaints.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
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ChaptersChapter 1 · I have amnesia (1)Chapter 2 · I have amnesia (2)Chapter 3 · I have amnesia (3)Chapter 4 · I have amnesia (4)Chapter 5 · I have amnesia (5)Chapter 6 · I have amnesia (6)Chapter 7 · I have amnesia (7)Chapter 8 · I have amnesia (8)Chapter 9 · I have amnesia (9)Chapter 10 · I have amnesia (10)Chapter 11 · I have amnesia (11)Chapter 12 · I have amnesia (12)Chapter 13 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 14 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 15 · I have amnesia (15)Chapter 16 · I have amnesia (16)Chapter 17 · I have amnesia (17)Chapter 18 · I have amnesia (18)Chapter 19 · I have amnesia (19)Chapter 20 · I have amnesia (20)Chapter 21 · I have amnesia (21)Chapter 22 · I have amnesia (22)Chapter 23 · I have amnesia (23)Chapter 24 · I have amnesia (24)Chapter 25 · I have amnesia (25)Chapter 26 · I have amnesia (26)Chapter 27 · I have amnesia (27)Chapter 28 · I have amnesia (28)Chapter 29 · Desert Highway (1)Chapter 30 · Desert Highway (2)Chapter 31 · Desert Highway (3)Chapter 32 · Desert Highway (4)Chapter 33 · Desert Highway (5)Chapter 34 · Desert Highway (6)Chapter 35 · Desert Highway (7)Chapter 36 · Desert Highway (8)Chapter 37 · Desert Highway (9)Chapter 38 · Desert Highway (10)Chapter 39 · Desert Highway (11)Chapter 40 · Desert Highway (12)Chapter 41 · Desert Highway (13)Chapter 42 · Desert Highway (14)Chapter 43 · Desert Highway (15)