You Li had never truly felt any real sense of having a husband.
He was someone who had long grown accustomed to solitude. Forming intimate relationships with others had always been difficult for him. If he still possessed his memories, then perhaps even the relatives and friends within those memories would have been very few in number.
If not for how painfully real that car accident had felt, his mind may have forgotten it but his body still remembered that terror deeply etched into its bones,
Then perhaps You Li would have questioned whether he truly even had a husband at all.
It felt as though the relationship had been forcibly imposed upon him by someone else.
Because of the lingering emotions left behind by the accident, he believed it.
Because the fear he felt when facing death had been too vivid, too genuine, he believed it.
But now, the moment this person who had only ever existed in the mouths of others, vague and unreal, actually appeared, all the evidence that had once supported those beliefs was instantly overturned.
You Li began to doubt.
If his husband had never died, then why had he been so afraid?
And if his husband truly had died… then who exactly was the person speaking to him through the phone right now?
Was it human?
Or something else entirely?
Had his hallucinations and auditory delusions become even worse?
You Li lowered his gaze toward the hand gripping the receiver.
Under the light, it looked exceptionally real.
Solid.
Warm.
In the distance, the nurse was still quietly waiting for him.
He took a slow, deep breath before speaking softly into the receiver.
“You’ve called the wrong number.”
The other side of the line fell silent for a long while, as though the man was reminiscing about something.
Only after several moments did he finally laugh lightly in that same careless tone.
“Your mental state has never been very good.”
“You’re used to being alone but all this time, you’ve wanted someone who could quietly stay beside you.”
“You never needed me to do anything for you.”
“You only needed me to exist.”
You Li stood there holding the receiver tightly, silent, his eyelashes lowered.
It felt as though someone had reached directly into the deepest part of his heart and exposed all the helplessness hidden there beneath bright light.
The other man spoke as though they truly had once loved each other.
The voice transmitted through the old receiver sounded slightly distorted yet the emotions within it remained unbelievably vivid, ambiguous, intimate, romantic and unwaveringly devoted.
The man continued softly,
“You have mild hyperventilation syndrome.”
“When we kiss for too long, you can’t breathe properly. At most, you can only endure for five minutes before I have to let you go so you can catch your breath.”
“Sometimes I even have to give you mouth to mouth resuscitation.”
“There’s a tiny mole three centimeters above the inside of your thigh. You become very sensitive whenever I kiss it.”
“Baby, I miss you very much.”
“Can you believe me now?”
Every sentence carried blatant sexual implication, invading You Li’s personal boundaries with excessive cruelty.
The man’s voice had become so low that it almost truly sounded as though he were kissing that very real mole on You Li’s inner thigh while whispering those words.
Yet strangely enough, You Li did not hear any teasing amusement in those words, words that would have easily counted as sexual harassment had they come from a stranger.
Instead, the other person sounded frighteningly sincere.
“You didn’t recognize my voice.”
“You didn’t remember my number.”
“That’s alright.”
“But you can’t deny my existence.”
“I would be very sad, darling.”
“It’s been such a long time since we last met.”
“Did you miss me?”
You Li lowered his head and pinched himself hard.
It hurt.
It was real.
He wasn’t dreaming.
And there truly was a very tiny mole on the inside of his thigh.
When You Li remained silent, the other man simply continued talking to himself, creating an absurd feeling as though he were immersed in some bizarre theatrical performance.
“I’m still wearing…” He paused thoughtfully for a moment, seeming to look at his own hand before continuing, “…our wedding ring. Pure gold.”
The aesthetic taste of this batch of players is truly terrible.
“I see…” You Li apologized earnestly. “I lost my memory, so I can’t remember you. I didn’t intentionally fail to recognize your voice and I didn’t purposely forget your number. I’m sorry.”
“The doctor said that if I cooperate properly with treatment, I’ll be discharged very soon. Will you come pick me up and take me home?”
“I don’t want to stay here anymore.”
“Give me a little more time, alright?” the man said softly. “Soon. Very soon. I’ll come for you. It won’t be much longer.”
The signal on the other end seemed extremely unstable.
His voice faded in and out through the static, distorted continuously by the crackling interference. Combined with the uneven transmission, it created the eerie sensation of two entirely separate worlds being slowly connected together through a single telephone wire.
The moment the man finished speaking, the nurse looked over from a distance.
“Number 13? Your call time is over.”
The male voice immediately returned to normal again.
“Goodnight, baby.”
“You’ll dream about me tonight, won’t you?”
“Remember to wait here obediently for my call tomorrow night before you sleep.”
The context of those words felt deeply illogical.
They were clearly speaking through a telephone line and yet the other man sounded as though he knew exactly where You Li was standing at this very moment.
He had said “here.”
Not “by the telephone.”
It almost sounded as though he were standing in the exact same place as You Li right now, face to face, silently watching him.
For no reason at all, You Li suddenly felt the terrifying illusion that someone was standing directly before him.
That some cold, sticky gaze had locked onto him.
As though that thing was also holding the receiver together with him, lowering itself beside him, leaning close to his ear while smiling lovingly and whispering softly,
“Sweet dreams.”
And yet, there was clearly no one standing before him.
The entire hallway was empty except for himself and the nurse quietly waiting in the distance.
Then the call disconnected.
You Li sat quietly in his wheelchair.
Because he was slightly too short, placing the receiver back onto the phone properly was somewhat difficult for him.
The nurse stepped forward and gently helped him hang it back up before preparing to push him toward his hospital room once more.
Yet You Li seemed completely unafraid of pain. He suddenly placed his hand against the moving wheel of the wheelchair, forcefully stopping its forward motion.
“Nurse…” he said politely, “I’m sorry but could you take me to see my attending physician?”
He lowered his eyes slightly. “I think I just had an episode. I experienced very serious auditory and visual hallucinations.”
“I’m a little scared.”
Even now, his tone remained extremely courteous.
“Sorry for troubling you. Thank you.”
The nurse immediately agreed and hurriedly pushed him toward the consultation room, concern written clearly across her face.
The consultation room lights, which had already been switched off, lit up once more.
The doctor had originally finished work for the day yet now he had no choice but to reopen his computer and pull up You Li’s medical records again.
“I was just planning to finish my rounds and head home soon,” the doctor said as he glanced at his wristwatch. “But it’s still early. There’s no rush.”
Hearing that, the guilt weighing on You Li finally eased slightly.
“Doctor,” he said softly, “I often hear screams inside the hospital. Sometimes I can even smell the scent of flesh being scorched by electricity.”
“I know I already experience a certain degree of visual and auditory hallucinations, so I wanted to ask…” He hesitated. “Can a person split into multiple personalities?”
“I think… because I missed my dead husband too much, I created a third personality to replace him.”
The second one, for now, referred to the thing inside his head.
The doctor seemed to lift his eyes and glance at him.
Why “seemed”?
Because You Li felt that gaze had been somewhat cold.
The doctor had never looked at him like that before. It felt less like he was looking at You Li and more as though he were looking past him, at someone standing behind him.
But there were only the two of them inside the consultation room.
Behind him was empty space.
The doctor asked calmly, “Why would you think that?”
You Li carefully recounted everything that had just happened.
When he spoke, he was extremely serious but he habitually avoided eye contact with others, keeping his gaze lowered.
Then suddenly, he noticed a pair of glasses resting on the desk.
They belonged to the doctor.
His thoughts drifted for a moment.
Did the doctor wear glasses?
Why couldn’t he remember?
The next instant, something seemed to flicker within the light reflected off the lenses.
A figure.
Someone leaning lazily against the consultation room doorway with one arm half folded, casually watching both him and the doctor from the entrance.
The figure was tall and slender.
Something seemed to be spinning carelessly between his fingers, reflecting faint light, making it impossible to see clearly.
He also appeared to be wearing a white coat.
But beneath it was a black suit.
At some point, You Li had stopped speaking altogether.
Softly, he asked, “Doctor… is there someone behind me?”
The doctor glanced behind him once before looking back in surprise.
“Of course not.”
You Li’s voice turned faint. “But just now… I think I saw you exchange a glance with someone behind me.”
“How could that be?” the doctor replied, sounding genuinely astonished. “I’ve been listening to you this entire time.”
Concern gradually surfaced in his eyes.
“Have your hallucinations become worse again?”
Had they become worse?
You Li didn’t know.
The doctor continued gently, “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you turn around and look for yourself?”
You Li slowly turned his head.
Behind him was nothing.
Only the wide open doorway.
Not a single person stood there.
He stared blankly ahead.
“Doctor… why does it feel like my hallucinations started getting worse yesterday?”
“Ever since yesterday… ever since you gave us psychological treatment…”
“…I think I saw the imaginary enemy you talked about.”
“Doctor, why is my illness becoming more and more severe?”
His emotions suddenly became unstable.
“You people say you’re treating me but your hospital’s treatment doesn’t seem to be helping me at all!”
“In fact, it feels like I’m getting worse the more I’m treated!”
“Then why are you still keeping me locked up here?!”
The doctor asked quietly, “Have you ever considered why that might be?”
Then his expression shifted slightly.
“You didn’t take your medication today, did you?”
You Li instantly fell silent.
The hand gripping the wheelchair trembled faintly.
At first, he didn’t even realize he was shaking. His body had begun trembling instinctively on its own.
A very common somatic response.
The doctor pressed a hand gently against him.
“You didn’t take it, correct?”
The physical symptoms became even more obvious.
Only now did You Li belatedly notice the slight trembling in his fingers, the tension tightening his breathing.
“I’m sorry, Doctor… I’m sorry…”
“How pitiful, baby.”
“Don’t be afraid. I’ll take you out of here very soon.”
Someone whispered beside his ear.
Who whispered beside his ear?
You Li abruptly turned his head to the side.
Empty.
There was nobody there.
No one was speaking.
Had he started hallucinating voices again?
The doctor asked him carefully, “What are you looking at?”
You Li murmured blankly, “Doctor… did you hear that?”
“Someone was talking.”
“Someone was speaking to me.”
The doctor’s gaze deepened.
“You heard voices again, didn’t you?”
The moment You Li met the doctor’s eyes, a freezing calm suddenly crashed over him like icy water pouring from head to toe.
Only then did he realize how strange his actions looked.
How nervous.
How irrational.
He breathed rapidly for several moments before finally shutting his eyes in pain.
Struggling, he admitted softly,
“…Yes, Doctor.”
“I heard it again.”
The doctor lowered his voice.
“Besides answering that phone call, what else did you do today?”
“What else…” You Li repeated blankly.
His voice was very light.
“I spoke to the thing inside my head.”
“I spoke to my second personality, Doctor.”
“He’s still talking inside my mind right now.”
The doctor was saying,
“What did I tell you before? You’re gradually being assimilated and influenced by the thing inside your head. If you continue communicating with it, your condition will only keep worsening sooner or later!”
At the same time, the system was speaking too.
“Host, don’t you trust me?”
“You aren’t experiencing any hallucinations at all.”
“They’re all lying to you.”
“I’m the only one you can trust.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Nycreth
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
Breaking news: translator still enjoys coffee.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
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ChaptersChapter 1 · I have amnesia (1)Chapter 2 · I have amnesia (2)Chapter 3 · I have amnesia (3)Chapter 4 · I have amnesia (4)Chapter 5 · I have amnesia (5)Chapter 6 · I have amnesia (6)Chapter 7 · I have amnesia (7)Chapter 8 · I have amnesia (8)Chapter 9 · I have amnesia (9)Chapter 10 · I have amnesia (10)Chapter 11 · I have amnesia (11)Chapter 12 · I have amnesia (12)Chapter 13 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 14 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 15 · I have amnesia (15)Chapter 16 · I have amnesia (16)Chapter 17 · I have amnesia (17)Chapter 18 · I have amnesia (18)Chapter 19 · I have amnesia (19)Chapter 20 · I have amnesia (20)Chapter 21 · I have amnesia (21)Chapter 22 · I have amnesia (22)Chapter 23 · I have amnesia (23)Chapter 24 · I have amnesia (24)Chapter 25 · I have amnesia (25)Chapter 26 · I have amnesia (26)Chapter 27 · I have amnesia (27)Chapter 28 · I have amnesia (28)Chapter 29 · Desert Highway (1)Chapter 30 · Desert Highway (2)Chapter 31 · Desert Highway (3)Chapter 32 · Desert Highway (4)Chapter 33 · Desert Highway (5)Chapter 34 · Desert Highway (6)Chapter 35 · Desert Highway (7)Chapter 36 · Desert Highway (8)Chapter 37 · Desert Highway (9)Chapter 38 · Desert Highway (10)Chapter 39 · Desert Highway (11)Chapter 40 · Desert Highway (12)Chapter 41 · Desert Highway (13)Chapter 42 · Desert Highway (14)Chapter 43 · Desert Highway (15)