“Hmm… Ms. Kuroyanagi, please take this.”
I fumbled in my pocket, pulled out a business card, and slid it across the table.
“Huh? What’s this…?”
My client, Ms. Kuroyanagi, stared intently at the card.
She was a little shorter than me, but probably weighed considerably less. Her body was painfully thin, and dark circles surrounded her sunken eyes.
She’d claimed to be in her thirties, but honestly, she looked closer to fifty.
“Your troubles are a little beyond what I can handle. But if you visit this place, you may find some hope.”
The card she was staring at read:
Senkoji Temple
Head Priest: Myozen
It also listed the temple’s address and the priest’s direct mobile number.
“Of course, his services won’t be any cheaper than a fortune-teller’s. But the head priest is a genuinely reliable person. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you, Ms. Kuroyanagi.”
She stared at the card in silence for a while before swallowing nervously and picking it up.
“Y-yes…! I just need to call this number, right?”
“Ah, he’ll be working this morning. Please try contacting him after three in the afternoon.”
Looking completely out of place in the bright morning sunshine, Kuroyanagi clutched the business card to her chest as though it were a priceless treasure. Then she bowed deeply.
“Thank you so much, Kibagami-sensei!”
“No, I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you…”
Whether she heard my response or not, Kuroyanagi rummaged through her wallet and paid the standard fee for a two-hour consultation.
Her expression had brightened considerably since she first arrived. She bowed again and again before finally leaving through the front door.
Still attached to her back was something dark and vaguely human-shaped, with countless arms.
“Disgusting. I don’t like it.”
Sayako-san came over to collect the tea cups, slipped an arm around my shoulders, and made her displeasure known.
Ahhh… Her skin was wonderfully cool against mine. In winter, she somehow became warm instead, making her the perfect wife all year round.
“Anyway, time to make a phone call.”
I took out my smartphone and tapped a contact saved under the name Namagusa Bozu.
After several attempts, the other person finally answered.
“Ah, Kibagami-sensei. Is this about ‘work’?”
The voice on the other end was deep and resonant.
“Yes, Myozen-san. You should receive a call sometime this afternoon. Let’s just say the situation is somewhere in the middle.”
“Hmm. Sounds promising. That should be a profitable job.”
Even over the phone, I could practically hear him counting his money.
“As usual, I’ll take two.”
“You’re as modest as ever. All right, I’ll contact you again once everything’s settled.”
“Sounds good.”
I hung up.
Ah, the sweet smell of money.
There was no denying it, I was positively thrilled.
“I’m hungry.”
“What should we have for lunch?”
“Conveyor-belt sushi.”
“Would you mind if the sushi didn’t actually revolve?”
Sayako-san laughed and shook her head.
My lovely, wonderful wife, who didn’t cost me a single yen in upkeep…
All right, time to change clothes.
Should we go to Kura Sushi or Kishi Sushi? I hadn’t been to either in a while. Maybe Sushi Taro would be a good choice, too.
Oh, right. Sayako-san liked chashu sushi topped with plenty of green onions.
Then Sushi Taro it was!
…
A week later, we had a visitor.
“You didn’t have to come all the way here. You could’ve just called, and I would have come to see you.”
The man sitting on the sofa smiled at my greeting.
He was a Buddhist monk with dark skin, a thick, muscular build, and a traditional priest’s robe.
“No, no. I had some business in town today, so I thought I’d stop by while I was here.”
Myozen was the head priest of Senkoji Temple in the neighboring town.
He was also Kibagami-do’s secret business partner and a genuine psychic.
He looked to be in his mid-forties. Without his robes, he could easily have passed for a rugby player or a martial artist.
“By the way, is your wife around?”
“She went out shopping for a bit.”
“Oh, what a shame. I was hoping to see something nice.”
He chuckled at his own remark.
A woman in a business suit sat down beside him. She was beautiful, with neatly styled black hair and delicate, thin-rimmed glasses. Her polished appearance gave her the air of a capable secretary, and the fitted skirt suit suited her perfectly.
Well, Sayako-san was still in a league of her own!
“…But you’ve got someone wonderful right beside you, haven’t you?”
“You can never have too much variety, Kibagami-sensei.”
“Oh, my ♡”
As he spoke, Myozen ran a hand suggestively along his mistress’s thigh.
She didn’t seem particularly opposed to it, either.
As a general rule, that sort of behavior wasn’t allowed in my office.
I’d known Myozen for quite some time. I’d met him after Sayako-san and I had started living together, following a relatively minor incident.
The moment he saw Sayako-san, he realized that she was a being far beyond anything he could handle.
After confirming that I wasn’t possessed or under a curse, he’d chatted with me briefly before proposing a business partnership.
The reason was simple.
I had no intention of presenting myself publicly as a psychic.
In fact, I didn’t possess that kind of power in the first place.
Myozen, on the other hand, was the real deal.
He had regular features in several occult magazines and frequently appeared on television during the summer as the famous “ghost-story priest.”
Thanks to his reputation, Senkoji Temple was flourishing, with people lining up for prayers, exorcisms, and other spiritual services.
He was a monk in the truest sense of being worldly.
Although he outwardly respected his wife, he’d married into her family, and there seemed to be no love between them whatsoever.
His wife had apparently married him to preserve the temple and its traditions. The heir was her son from a previous marriage, who was currently attending a prestigious Buddhist high school in the Kansai region.
Myozen, it seemed, was a temporary arrangement, a husband in name, at least, to maintain appearances.
Senkoji Temple had originally specialized in exorcisms, which was probably why he’d been chosen for the role.
His wife apparently wasn’t fond of excessive occult activities, but she didn’t seem to mind the money they brought in.
Their agreement was straightforward: as long as the head priest performed his duties properly, there would be no complaints.
And as far as I knew, Myozen had around five mistresses who were anything but subtle about their relationships with him.
Every single one was stunningly beautiful.
A loveless marriage could take many forms, I supposed.
Since the arrangement had been businesslike from the beginning, perhaps it was less likely to cause trouble.
“Anyway, here’s your share.”
Myozen slid an envelope across the table.
It was surprisingly thick.
As usual, I opened it immediately to check the contents.
One bundle, two bundles…
Whoa. Three hundred thousand yen!
“I added a little extra this time.”
“Well, that’s…”
Myozen raised one of his thick hands to stop me.
“Actually, the thing that was possessing Kuroyanagi was also haunting her father. We ended up performing two exorcisms, so the total energy we gained was double what we’d expected.”
Ah, I see.
Since the request hadn’t come through me, I would normally have received the entire fee for the referral. But perhaps Myozen felt bad about that and had decided to give me a larger share.
“In that case, I’m certainly grateful. So, how did it go?”
I tucked the envelope into my pocket and asked for the details.
Myozen’s smile widened.
“It was an evil spirit that had plagued the family for generations. By now, however, it had weakened considerably, so it wasn’t much of a challenge. It seemed to retain some memories of what happened, though, and the family paid us quite generously.”
He was a lecherous monk whose heart was ruled by worldly desires, but Myozen was still one of the most capable psychics I knew.
Of course, I wasn’t talking about exorcising Sayako-san or anything like that.
If anyone tried to exorcise her, I’d beat them to death.
Besides, Sayako-san wasn’t the sort of being a human could exorcise in the first place.
Our arrangement was simple. From time to time, Kibagami-do would refer dangerous clients to Myozen so he could handle the supernatural trouble they brought with them.
I could have let Sayako-san eat every spirit that crossed our path, but she had her own preferences.
When she encountered something she considered “unappetizing” but that seemed manageable, she would leave it to me to arrange an exorcism through Myozen.
That was how I earned my commission.
The last time we’d encountered something both “disgusting” and genuinely dangerous, Sayako-san had made it disappear with a casual flick of her finger.
“Welcome home, Boss.”
The door opened, and Sayako-san returned with several shopping bags.
When she noticed Myozen’s mistress, a threatening aura briefly emanated from her.
Then she caught sight of Myozen’s smooth, bald head, and the ominous atmosphere vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
“Raw sewage.”
“Ha ha ha! Sorry for intruding.”
Myozen’s mistress stiffened for a moment, but the monk himself remained completely unbothered.
Smack!
Sayako-san gave him a sharp slap on the head.
Myozen was a wise psychic who understood his own limitations. Apparently, Sayako-san approved of that much, at least.
Even if I’d wanted to object to her treatment of him, I probably wouldn’t have dared. One glare from her, and I might have been struck by a curse capable of killing me instantly.
I remembered something he’d once told me while we were drinking together:
“You’ll be safe as long as you’re married to me.”
I wasn’t sure whether that was a joke or a warning.
“The pumpkin was cheap, so I’m going to make curry.”
“I did it!”
Sayako-san’s pumpkin curry was absolutely delicious.
She was cute, sexy, and excellent at housework.
She was far too good for me.
No, far, far too good for me.
“Well, I should be going. I have an overnight ‘job’ at a hot-spring inn.”
Myozen put an arm around his mistress’s shoulders and stood up.
Ah, so his mistress was looking a little tired. It must be exhausting for an ordinary person with only a modest amount of psychic ability to keep up with his lifestyle.
Still, a hot-spring inn, huh?
“That sounds wonderful. Sayako, we should go sometime.”
“Family bath…”
I liked the sound of that, too.
A private family bath, just the two of us…
Mixed bathing could be fun, but there was absolutely no way I’d let other men see Sayako-san’s body.
Once, a group of flashy young men had become so infatuated with her charms that they’d tried to beat me up.
Strangely enough, the men had soon become overwhelmed by their own lust, stripped naked, and run screaming out of the outdoor bath and into town. One of them had even jumped into a river and nearly died.
People really were strange creatures.
“It’s so hot! Ha ha ha! Well, Kibagami-sensei, I’ll be counting on you again.”
“Of course. If you run into anything unpleasant, feel free to call me anytime.”
With his arm still around his mistress, Myozen headed for the door.
A hot-spring inn, huh?
If he knew a good one, I’d love to hear about it.
Spending a peaceful evening in a private family bath, with Sayako-san pouring me a drink…
That sounded wonderful.
Absolutely wonderful!
“Um… Sayako-san? What’s wrong?”
While I was lost in my fantasies, Sayako-san’s face suddenly appeared right in front of mine.
Her three eyes, peering through the hair hanging over her face, were fixed on…
My lower body.
“Hee-hee. I’m feeling better now.”
Apparently, imagining Sayako-san in a bath was enough to have an effect on me.
“I don’t have a reservation, but shall we go take a bath?”
“Well, I suppose we don’t have much choice…”
I paused.
“…Not that I’m complaining!”
I’d just earned three hundred thousand yen, after all. I could afford to splurge a little!
Ha ha ha!
Incidentally, that three hundred thousand yen was tax-free.
To put it bluntly, it was tax evasion.
Being a psychic certainly seemed lucrative.
Though I had no desire to work on the front lines myself.
“Oh, wait, Sayako-san! Today, I’m going to carry you!”
“Do your best, Boss ♡”
I was getting tired of being carried around everywhere!
I wanted to give her a princess carry for once!
Fortunately, Kibagami-do had baths on both the first and second floors.
What a wonderful building.
…
“Hello, Kibagami-sensei. I’m sorry to call so late at night.”
“All right.”
Having barely survived an unlimited five-round match with Sayako-san, I answered the phone in a state of utter exhaustion.
It was the dead of night, when even the plants and trees were fast asleep.
The voice on the other end belonged to Myozen, and he sounded unusually subdued.
“Things have become a little complicated. Could I ask you to send your ‘assistant’?”
“At a hot-spring inn?”
“Ah, unfortunately, that’s a little beyond what I can handle.”
“All right. Is it urgent?”
I turned my head toward Sayako-san, who was sleeping beside me.
“I’ll send someone to pick you up tomorrow morning. I’d like you to come over then.”
“Understood. I’ll be ready.”
With that, the call ended.
Oh?
Sayako-san was awake now.
“Sayako, let’s go to a hot spring tomorrow.”
“Mmm… Come here.”
Still half-asleep, she pulled me into her arms with a happy expression.
Oh, no.
It looked as though round six was about to begin…!