“Boss…”
“Mmm. This feels wonderful.”
I was standing inside a commuter train, pressed against the doors by the window while Sayako-san hugged me from behind.
Even though the morning rush had already passed, the train was still fairly crowded.
Sayako-san took every opportunity to cling to me. I didn’t particularly mind, of course, but I couldn’t help worrying about what the other passengers thought.
I stood a little over 180 centimeters tall, while Sayako-san was more than two meters tall, with a figure that could turn heads all by itself.
The two of us stood out wherever we went. Lately, people had even started taking pictures of us without permission.
Well, those pictures never seemed to save properly, and the phones used to take them had a strange tendency to break down soon afterward.
That was what happened when you tried to capture Sayako-san on camera.
Her supernatural power surpassed an entire collection of curses. No digital device stood a chance.
A paranormal photograph of Sayako-san was practically a level-one-thousand haunting.
“What do you want for lunch?” I asked.
“Karubo… naara.”
Ah, so she wanted carbonara.
All right. Once I finished my errands, we could stop by my usual Italian restaurant. The food was excellent, and the prices were surprisingly reasonable.
“Ghk!”
Just as we were discussing lunch, someone let out a strangled cry.
A balding man in his fifties standing nearby was clutching his right hand.
More precisely, he was the man standing behind Sayako-san, who was hugging me.
Trying to grope a woman who was clearly with her partner… I almost had to admire the old man’s sheer audacity.
And Sayako-san was over two meters tall, too. If he weren’t such a shameless pervert, we might even have had something in common.
But the moment he tried to grope her, he was guilty of sexual harassment. No debate necessary.
“Oh? Is something wrong?” I asked.
“…Tch.”
The man shot me an irritated glare, then forced his way through the crowd and hurried off.
Had he failed to recognize me because Sayako-san had been blocking his view? Or perhaps those ridiculously oversized sunglasses I wore had thrown him off.
I couldn’t exactly wear a mask with my kimono whenever I went outside. Still, accidentally making eye contact with a ghost would be a real nuisance.
With Sayako-san around, I was practically invincible.
In fact, I was too invincible. If I absorbed her power and she got carried away, I might even end up exposing myself in public.
That would be a rather unfortunate way to get arrested.
In any case, there was no doubt the old man had tried to fondle Sayako-san’s magnificent backside.
How did I know?
As he pulled his hand away, I caught sight of a single strand of hair burrowing straight into the skin of his hand.
Of course, ordinary people couldn’t see it.
“Hm?”
Apparently, Sayako-san hadn’t noticed anything, either.
So it had activated automatically. There was nothing I could do about that.
If the man had touched her by accident, he would have apologized. Since he hadn’t, I had no reason to feel sorry for him.
Honestly, it had been far too long since our last date.
Three whole days!
Well, considering how many times we’d been together in those three days, perhaps I was exaggerating just a little.
“I think I’ll have cod roe spaghetti.” I said.
“Shall we share?”
“Sure. It’s so easy to eat that I could have it forever. Let’s order four servings and a pizza, too.”
“Mm. I’ll eat.”
We chatted happily until the train reached the station.
The old man, still clutching his hand in pain, hurried out onto the platform.
And then…
He tumbled down the stairs leading from the platform to the station’s underground level, as though an invisible hand had grabbed him and yanked him forward with all its strength.
A chorus of screams erupted behind him.
The train doors closed, and we began moving again.
“Looks like he got what was coming to him.” I remarked.
“Cormorant?”
Sayako-san tilted her head, confused by my comment.
“Nothing, nothing.”
I laughed it off.
It was a pretty harsh punishment for attempted groping, but what could I do? More importantly, I had no intention of doing anything about it.
The law applied to human beings.
But did it apply to Sayako-san?
“I smell something nice…”
“You smell nice, too.”
As Sayako-san sniffed the top of my head, I remembered that we were still on a train.
Please, let us reach our destination soon.
And I hoped the old man was still alive.
Though I couldn’t say I’d be particularly upset if he wasn’t.
…
“We’ve been expecting you. You’re Mr. Gouda, correct?”
It was 4:55 p.m.
After enjoying a movie date with Sayako-san and eating some delicious pasta, we returned to Kibagami-do.
I changed clothes, tidied up the office, and waited for our appointment.
Before long, the day’s reserved customer opened the door and stepped inside.
He was a tanned, sturdily built man in his fifties.
About the same age as the pervert from the train, as far as I could tell.
His clothes and general appearance suggested that he played golf.
And his eyes…
Well, they didn’t exactly inspire confidence.
He looked like the sort of man who enjoyed bullying his subordinates.
That was a prejudiced assumption, of course.
No, actually, you could tell just by looking at him.
“Oh, yes. That’s right.”
“Please, have a seat over there. Sayako, could you bring him some tea?”
The man, Gouda, dropped heavily onto the sofa.
I’d invited him to sit down, but did he really have to throw himself onto the furniture like that?
“Certainly.”
Sayako-san stepped out from behind me and gently placed a glass of chilled barley tea on the table.
“Whoa! She’s enormous! Like a mountain!”
There it was: another man with absolutely no sense of tact.
His eyes were blatantly fixed on Sayako-san’s breasts and backside.
Even Sayako-san, who usually paid little attention to men other than me, looked faintly displeased.
“Is this girl yours?”
He raised his little finger upright in a familiar gesture.
I hadn’t seen anyone use that gesture in quite some time.
“Yes. She’s my wife.”
I looked at Gouda over the top of my mask, my eyes half-lidded.
Though, to be honest, I hardly needed to look at him at all.
Behind Gouda stood three black, human-shaped figures.
They clung to him, looming over his shoulders like sinister shadows.
“She looks foreign! What a beautiful woman! I wish I could trade her for my old wife! Hahaha!”
Ugh!
His body odor and bad breath were unbearable.
I lowered my gaze, silently signaling Sayako-san to step back. No matter how much of a customer he was, I had no intention of letting him stare at my wife like that.
“Now, then. What can I do for you today? You specifically requested an in-person appointment when you called.”
As I spoke, Gouda vigorously wiped his face with a handkerchief.
“…Try to guess.”
“Pardon?”
When I asked him to repeat himself, Gouda’s mouth twisted into a smug grin.
“My daughter told me you’re a fortune teller who’s always right. So let’s start by having you guess why I’m here.”
Oh, what a pain.
I hated customers like this.
Every now and then, someone came in who couldn’t tell the difference between a fortune teller and a psychic.
Of course, I was neither.
“Very well. In that case, please give me a moment.”
I placed both hands over the crystal ball.
Gouda watched me with a smirk.
“Serves you right! Serves you right! Serves you right!”
“You idiot! Hee-hee! You idiot!”
“The audit happened! Hooray! Hooray!”
Voices full of resentment rang out from behind Gouda.
They sounded like the spiteful mutterings of spirits possessing someone, not voices intended for me to hear.
Their words weren’t especially frightening, but I could have done without the running commentary.
“Hey! How long are you going to keep this up?! Huh?!”
After listening to their muttering for a while, Gouda slammed his hand down on the table.
It hadn’t even been five minutes.
All right, all right. I got it.
This was the sort of customer who didn’t deserve any special consideration.
His temper was shorter than the patience of someone standing at the summit of Mount Fuji.
“If this is just some trick to waste my time-”
“Mr. Gouda. You used to be a department head, didn’t you? But now you’ve been demoted to deputy department head.”
Gouda had been glaring at me, his face red with anger.
Now his mouth snapped shut.
“W-What?! How did you…?”
“I could see it.”
The beings behind him appeared to be malevolent spirits, more specifically, the lingering resentment of living people.
From what I could gather, Gouda had repeatedly abused his authority and bullied his subordinates. The human resources department had finally intervened and demoted him.
Judging by the way the spirits were laughing, they absolutely despised him.
And judging by their numbers, they weren’t alone.
“Is your problem related to work, by any chance?”
“…Tch.”
A moment ago, Gouda had regarded me as nothing more than an insignificant young man.
Now, fear had crept into his eyes.
It was the expression of someone who had encountered something he couldn’t explain.
“…This is a scam, isn’t it? You looked into my background beforehand, didn’t you?!”
“I doubt I could have gathered all that information in the single day since you made the appointment. Besides, all I knew beforehand was your name and phone number.”
Of course, there were fortune tellers who researched their clients in advance.
They generally charged considerably more than I did, though.
“…Fine. Then I have a favor to ask.”
Gouda leaned forward.
“I want to know which employee reported me to Human Resources.”
Ah.
No wonder everyone hated him.
His personality was rotten to the core.
“People these days are too quick to accuse others of power harassment, sexual harassment, and every other little thing! They make a fuss over nothing! I was only trying to guide them for their own good!”
Gouda shook his leg furiously, rummaging through his pockets in agitation.
“I’m sorry, but smoking is prohibited here.”
“Tch. Who cares? It’s just some rundown building…”
He clicked his tongue.
First, he had no manners, and now he was trying to smoke indoors.
Had this man somehow traveled here from the middle of the Showa era?
“But even if you knew the employee’s name, what would you do with that information?” I asked.
“What do you think?! I’m going to make them pay!”
He slammed his hand on the table again.
Hey, careful. This wasn’t some cheap piece of furniture.
“Well… I don’t recommend pursuing this. You have no evidence, and even if you did, retaliating against the person who reported you would only make things worse.”
“Just tell me already! I’m the customer here!”
Oh, dear. How frightening.
He looked ready to grab me by the collar.
Sayako, please don’t curse him just yet. I can handle this.
“All right, all right. I’ll tell you. But I want to make one thing clear: none of this is reliable evidence.”
“Shut up! Just get on with it!”
“Yes, sir.”
I placed my hands over the crystal ball again and concentrated for a few minutes.
Then I opened my mouth.
“…Kashima. Minaguchi. Yamashita…”
“Of course it was those guys! After all the trouble I went to training the new recruits, this is how they repay my kindness?!”
Maybe they disliked the way you trained them.
“…Yamada. Sakagami. Yashiro…”
“Huh? Wait. Why are those people on the list…?”
His mouth hung open.
“…Kamekawa. Mashiro. Minamoto. Kuroda. Kagawa…”
“W-Wait a minute! Hold on…”
“…Akai. Kawada. Uchida. Wada. Matsuda. Takahashi…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! Tell me you’re kidding!”
Gouda stared at me with pleading eyes.
I gave him another name.
…
“…Yes, that’s right. Thank you.”
“Ahhh…”
With a faint clink, Gouda finished paying and left the office looking considerably more dejected than when he had arrived.
I’d never imagined that he’d been reported not only by people in his own department, but by more than forty percent of the entire company.
I was fortunate that the spirits behind him had been so eager to share their stories.
It was astonishing how many people despised him.
But what was even more astonishing was that Gouda genuinely thought of himself as a dependable, trustworthy man.
His self-esteem was through the roof.
“Bleh.”
As Gouda walked away, Sayako-san stuck out her tongue at his retreating back.
By the second half of the consultation, the whole thing had turned into a lecture on how to live a better life. Somehow, Gouda had even started asking me for advice about his marriage.
The man had absolutely no shame.
No wonder everyone hated him.
From the moment he entered Kibagami-do to the moment he left, he hadn’t done a single thing to make himself likable.
“Well, at least he paid the full twelve thousand yen.”
I’d give him credit for that much.
Still, I’d better spray some air freshener around the office.
The smell of middle age was lingering rather stubbornly.
“I wonder if that old man will be able to go to work tomorrow.”
Gouda had learned that almost half his company disliked him, despite having no concrete evidence of who had reported him.
And that was only the number of people who had actually spoken up.
The real number of people who couldn’t stand him was probably much, much higher.
But that was none of my concern.
Even if he tried to insist, “The fortune teller told me so!”, everyone involved could simply deny it.
Thanks to Sayako-san’s power, recording devices of any kind failed to work inside Kibagami-do.
So much for using me as a witness.
“I couldn’t eat it.”
Sayako-san looked a little disappointed.
I’d decided to leave the spirits attached to Gouda alone.
He’d been outrageously rude, and I had no obligation to provide him with any after-sales service.
Besides, if Sayako-san ate the resentment of a living person, the person who had generated it would be knocked unconscious and confined to bed for about a day.
That seemed a little excessive for this particular situation.
“Sorry about that. Shall we go get something to eat? What are you in the mood for?”
“Tan… mino… kalbi…”
Tongue, tripe, and short ribs, huh?
“Got it. Let’s head to that yakiniku place nearby.”
I took off my mask and began getting ready to change clothes.
Another day at Kibagami-do had come to an end.
And once again, my wife’s appetite was the only thing more formidable than her curses.