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My Talent Column Is Empty, So I Steal Everyone Else's

Chapter 9 / 57

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Chapter 9 of 57

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Chapter 9: The Ground Is Cheating

My Talent Column Is Empty, So I Steal Everyone Else's

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The western orchards began beyond the rabbit fields.

Rows of low trees covered the gentle slopes outside Aldern. Some carried ordinary green fruit. Others had pale violet leaves and clusters of small blue fruit that glowed faintly beneath the branches.

Thin copper chimes hung from several trees, ringing whenever the wind moved through them.Full novel: My Talent Column Is Empty, So I Steal Everyone Else's — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

Ren had seen dragons in Pantheon’s trailers. Apparently someone had also spent time making magical agriculture worth slowing down for.

A woman stood beside a stack of wooden crates farther up the path. A pruning hook rested against one shoulder, and dirt covered both of her gloves.

"Orchard Keeper Della?"

"Depends. You here to buy fruit or kill what’s eating my trees?"

"Second one."

"Then yes."

She pointed toward a section of disturbed earth between two rows.

Several young trees leaned at bad angles. Their roots had been exposed beneath the soil, and something had chewed through the thicker ones.

"Burrowers," Della said. "Six of them. More if you feel charitable."

"I rarely do unpaid charity."

"Six, then."

Ren looked around. No monsters were visible. That seemed like an important detail.

"Where are they?"

"Underground."

"Right."

The mage near the quest board had technically warned him.

Della looked at his empty hands.

"Where’s your weapon?"

"Currently searching for a suitable bladed partner. Smiths are quite picky about the dowry."

"You accepted a pest contract without one?"

"The requirement didn’t ask for one."

"It also didn’t require common sense. We assumed people would bring that themselves."

Ren looked at her.

"I’d like to file a complaint about hidden requirements."

"You’re quite the funny one, aren’t you? File it after the burrowers stop eating my orchard."

Fair.

Della took a second pruning hook from the side of the crates and held it out.

The wooden shaft was shorter than the farmer’s spear had been, with a curved iron blade fixed to one end.

Ren accepted it.

────────

Orchard Pruning Hook

Grey Tool

Base Damage: 4–7

Used for cutting branches, roots and stubborn vegetation. Poorly suited for combat.

────────

A clear downgrade from the spear’s 6-10 base damage.

"Your equipment has opinions."

"My equipment has experience."

"How much if I break it?"

"Thirty copper."

"I don’t have thirty copper."

"You have hands, and I have fruit to collect."

A very efficient lending system.

Ren headed between the trees.

The damage caused by the burrowers became more obvious farther in. Small mounds of loose soil broke the neat rows. Several roots had been dragged partly above ground, and one young tree had already fallen against its neighbor.

Ren found the first burrower by almost stepping on it.

The soil beneath his right foot moved. He jumped backward as the ground burst open.

Something broad and armored shot upward where his leg had been.

Ren barely got the pruning hook between them.

The creature slammed into the shaft and knocked him sideways.

Orchard Burrower

Level 2

Common

HP: 85/85

It was about the length of his leg.

A dark brown shell covered its wide segmented body. Six short legs dug at the soil beneath it while two larger forelimbs ended in flat shovel-shaped plates.

It had no visible eyes, and its head narrowed into a hard wedge with a circular mouth underneath, lined with small cutting ridges.

"You’re substantially uglier than a rabbit."

The Burrower disagreed by charging.

Ren swung the hook.

The curved blade struck its shell.

-6 HP

The Burrower barely slowed. Its head caught Ren above the ankle.

-9 HP

He stumbled back.

The creature turned remarkably quickly for something built like a moving paving stone.

Ren raised the hook again.

The Burrower stopped. Its digging plates struck the earth twice, and the entire creature sank beneath the soil.

"That’s cheating."

Nothing answered.

He moved carefully between the trees.

One step.

Two.

The dirt behind him exploded.

Ren twisted away before the Burrower fully emerged. Its wedge-shaped head clipped his hip instead of catching him squarely from below.

Ren grimaced at the thought. Even if Pantheon muted pain, he doubted getting his balls torn off would be much fun.

He slammed the pruning hook down.

The blade bounced off the shell again.

-5 HP

No Keen Bite. No critical. The shell was doing its job. And the Burrower vanished underground again.

Silence returned to the orchard. The copper chimes rang somewhere behind him.

He stayed still.

Nothing happened.

When Ren took one step, the soil shifted immediately. He stopped and the movement beneath him stopped too.

Ren looked down.

No eyes. Straight attacks from underground. The Burrower knew where he was when he moved.

"Tremors?"

The Burrower did not confirm the theory.

Rude.

Ren looked around and found a fallen branch near one of the damaged trees. He picked it up, then threw it several paces away.

The branch struck the dirt. The ground beneath it erupted.

The Burrower launched upward.

Ren was already moving.

He crossed the distance before the creature could turn and drove the pruning hook beneath the edge of its shell.

The curved blade caught softer flesh between two armored segments.

Critical Hit

Keen Bite F activated.

-28 HP

The Burrower twisted violently.

Ren kept both hands on the shaft and pulled.

The hook tore sideways through the soft gap between the armored plates.

-19 HP

The creature dropped back to the ground. Its forelimbs dug for the soil. Ren stomped on one of them before it could disappear again.

The Burrower thrashed hard enough to twist onto its side, exposing the softer underside beneath its shell.

Ren drove the hook down. The curved blade tore through the soft underside and buried itself in the organs beneath.

Critical Hit

Keen Bite F activated.

-31 HP

Orchard Burrower slain.

+12 XP

The creature stopped moving.

Ren pulled the hook free.

"One down."

A quest notification appeared.

Pest Control: Orchard Burrowers

1/6

Then the black window appeared and Ren forgot about the quest.

────────

[PLUNDER]

Victory condition satisfied.

Eligible target detected.

Orchard Burrower · Level 2 · Common

Available ability candidates: 3

────────

Ren stared.

Three. The Scarred Rabbit had only offered one.

This was better.

The first option opened.

Burrow — F

Type: Active Combat Skill

MP Cost: 5

Enter loose natural earth and travel beneath the surface.

Movement speed and distance scale with Agility.

Solid stone and sufficiently dense material cannot be crossed.

Ren read it, then opened the second.

Tremor Sense — F

Type: Combat Passive

Detect nearby movement through connected ground.

Range and precision scale with Perception.

That explained the fight.

The third appeared beneath it.

Brace — F

Type: Combat Passive

Brace against incoming physical force while stationary, reducing impact damage.

Effect scales with Vitality.

Ren looked between the three.

Keen Bite had been useful. All three of these were useful. That was going to become a problem.

Tremor Sense would make ambushes much harder. Brace would cover one of his weaker areas while his equipment remained terrible.

Then there was Burrow.

Normal players could buy Power Strike. They could learn Quickstep. Maybe there were classes somewhere that eventually learned to move underground. But Ren was fairly certain the Swordsman trainer in Aldern was not handing out lessons on disappearing into dirt.

He selected Burrow.

Plunder selected: Burrow F

Plunder successful.

Burrow F acquired.

Another message appeared immediately.

Plunder Skill Slots: 1/1

Burrow F has been stored in the Vault.

Ren opened his Skills menu.

Plunder Skill Slots: 1/1

Equipped

Keen Bite F

Vault

Burrow F

There it was.

One slot. He had two stolen combat skills and could only use one at a time.

Ren selected Burrow.

Replace Keen Bite F with Burrow F?

Swapping requires a 10-second channel.

Swapping cannot be completed under direct combat pressure.

[YES] / [NO]

That answered another question.

He selected [YES].

The progress bar filled slowly. Ren spent the channel looking around for moving dirt.

Nothing attacked him.

Good system design.

When the bar finished, the menu changed.

Plunder Skill Slots: 1/1

Equipped

Burrow F

Vault

Keen Bite F

Ren closed the window, then looked at the ground.

He had absolutely no idea how to burrow. Fortunately, the skill did. Ren activated it.

MP: 45/50

The earth beneath his boots softened.

He dropped.

Ren had enough time to regret several decisions before the soil closed over his head. Then he realized he could still breathe.

There was no light underground, but he could feel the direction his body faced. Loose earth shifted around him without crushing him.

He pushed forward. The skill carried him through the soil. Not quickly. Not gracefully. But definitely underground.

He angled upward.

A moment later, his head broke through the soil several paces away.

He climbed the rest of the way out.

Dirt covered his sleeves. The pruning hook was still in his hand. He looked back at the place where he had entered. Then at the place where he had emerged.

"Okay."

He grinned. That was ridiculous.

A rabbit had given him a better way to hit weak points. A common orchard pest had just taught him how to travel underground.

Ren looked toward the deeper rows of trees.

If a Level 2 pest could give him Burrow, he really wanted to know what Pantheon’s bosses were carrying.

Full novel: My Talent Column Is Empty, So I Steal Everyone Else's — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
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