And the winner is, The Illustrious Court of the Radiant Maiden!
The sealed doors blocking the way out of the huge chamber shattered like glass, opening the way out.
The giant Victory! had shifted upward the make room for the winner announcement, and then it scrolled up again disappearing from my view. Beneath the announcement photos of us appeared, like they had at the beginning of the fight, though most of these were clearly taken just moments after Billy had died. Matt’s picture was of his bloodied unconscious face pressed against the floor, Lynn’s had her face locked in a grimace of pain, and Mary’s had her hand to her mouth in an “Oh, my!” position. Marv’s was a full-body shot showing him tangled in the heavy chain he had been a glorified paperweight for and Aaron’s was also zoomed out, though it was only a pile of rusty sheet metal and burning wood. The photo of me though… It was also zoomed out, but was taken in the height of when I was summoning my scepter and surrounded by pink energy and sparkles.
I sighed in disappointment. Of course that would be the shot the system used for me.
A new window flashed in my vision…
New Achievement: There Goes the Neighborhood!
Congratulations! You've defeated a Neighborhood Boss! That's the weakest category of boss there is, but we're still proud of you... in the same way parents are proud when their toddler finally figures out how to use the potty. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Does it make you feel like a big, tough heroine? Well, don't get cocky, just because you and your ragtag little group of friends managed to bring a boss down doesn’t mean you can magically handle anything you come across. If that were the case, where would the entertainment value be?
Reward: Bronze Boss Box! You also receive a bill for the damage you caused. Pay up, asshole.
An ear shattering scream filled the chamber as the pile Aaron had been buried under exploded, spraying wood, metal and flame all around. At its center Aaron climbed free, swaying slightly, as if the mere act of standing were a herculean effort. Blood slowly oozed from the ragged stump where his left arm had once been and the health bar above his head showed that he was only at a little under half health. Fresh pink flesh covered much of the severed end where Mary's healing magic had begun knitting him back together. With his remaining hand, he clenched it into a fist and then unclenched it several times, then slowly looked up.
His bloodshot eyes found me and every muscle in my body locked, freezing me into place like a rabbit staring down a wolf. There was nothing in his eyes other than rage, as the maniacal grin that had been on his face while beating Billy in the head returned.
"Aaron?" I asked hesitantly.
He started staggering toward me, one step, then two. After a moment, he broke into a charge.
"Aaron, wait!" I yelled, hoping I could get through to him.
He never answered, he just continued to barrel headlong toward me like a two-hundred-and-thirty-pound bullet of pure pissed off muscle.
He made it three more strides, then the manic grin vanished and his eyes rolled back. Every muscle in his body seemed to suddenly relax all at once. It was like someone had cut the strings holding up a marionette, if that marionette were a large adult male who had done strength training for nearly every day of the last five years.
Aaron collapsed face-first onto the stone with a meaty smack. He didn't even put his remaining hand out to catch himself.
“Mary, do you have enough mana for one more healing spell so that your dumbass brother will stop bleeding and not die on us?” I asked. “Plus, Lynn and Matt could use it too.”
“I don’t, but let me use one of my Mana Potions and then I think I can heal him,” she replied. “Do you think his arm will grow back, or that we can reattach it?”
I shrugged.
CLAY: Hey, Simbul, can limbs be reattached?
SIMBUL: This is an automated response. Hi! I’m not awake right now, but leave a brief message and I’ll respond once I wake up! (If this is Clay or any of her party, make sure you loot everything from your enemies. I really should have told you that before you left but forgot. ╮(￣▽￣)╭)
CLAY: Aaron lost an arm; can it be reattached? If so, how?
“Speaking of… Does anyone know where Aaron’s arm went to?” I asked, then it hit me what Mary had said immediately after I had asked about her mana. “Wait, there are MP potions?”
“Aye, My Lady. I got two of them, though they don’t seem to be as common a reward as Health potions.” Marv replied.
I checked my Healing Items tab and only saw two stacks of the red healing potions, one with my name beside it, and the other with Marv’s.
“I don’t see them in our healing items tab, Marv.” I told him.
“Look under the tab labeled Restoratives, My Lady.” Marv replied.
Sure enough, there was a tab by that name and sitting in it was a stack of two Mana Potions with Marv’s name beside them.
Standard Mana Potion
Restores 25-30 Mana Points and diminishes the effects of mental based attacks. Does not cure stupidity, ignorance, or brain damage from being hit in the head one too many times. Remember, the leading cause of death may be second hand stupidity, and this potion won’t help you in that case either.
Warning: Repeated rapid consumption may result in nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and poor life choices.
“I wonder why I didn’t get any.” I muttered to myself.
I looked to Billy’s corpse and, taking Simbul’s advice to heart, I reached out with a grimace and the intent of flipping it over so that I could see if it had any pockets in the filthy overalls he was wearing in order to rifle through them. However, when my hand came into contact with the body, a window opened showing several items including the oversized fan blade on a chain and the outboard motor Billy had had used. A quick examination showed that they were simply the type of items they looked like; there wasn’t anything special about them other than the fact that Billy had been able to wield them as weapons. Just to be safe I pulled them into my inventory along with about fifteen gallons of the moonshine that the Crocodilians had been drinking.
Gatorshine
Brewed in a copper still by an undocumented Level 68 Swamp Shaman named "Cletus," this unholy concoction is 300-proof and defies both the laws of chemistry and the Geneva Convention. It smells like rotting swamp grass, pure ethanol, and could probably be used to fuel jets, if they still existed.
New achievement: Hold My Beer!
You have looted an accelerant that makes the system AI nervous. The explosive power in one jug alone is enough to blow through six inches of concrete not to mention the heat produced is enough to melt steel beams.
Reward: You get a Bronze Spicy Box, and a piece of advice: Don't smoke within three miles of an open container. Seriously, your feet are going to get blown off and that would make Daddy sad.
I continued to pull items from his inventory into mine, when I saw a small piece of paper simply titled Neighborhood Map. There was no item description linked to the paper and as soon as I pulled it into my inventory my map flashed up in my vision and what I would roughly guess was a square mile around us faded into existence as the fog of war lifted. The sudden reveal proved that I had been correct because it was an almost exact replica of the map Simbul had drawn on her blackboard, including the Safe Room which was glowing with a cheery golden glow.
There was a bunch of random junk as well, like a shiny stone labeled 'Da Shiny Stone' and a dead lizard named Bob, but at the end of it all, there was Aaron’s former arm which I quickly pulled into my inventory.
Billy’s Crunchy Snacky Yum Yum
Yes, this is the arm of your friend, Aaron. Billy picked it up in hopes of a little snack between battles, after all Dungeon life is hard and good sources of protein that don’t involve lopping off your underlings’ tails are few and far between. If it wasn’t for crawlers like you and the impending floor collapse, poor Billy would likely starve because he would have gobbled up all his friends and family. Honestly, you did them a mercy by killing them in glorious violence.
New achievement: Do you need a hand?
What the hell were you thinking? You just looted your friend’s arm and stuffed it into your inventory without a second thought. What kind of weirdo are you? Oh, wait, is this some kind of new kink? If so, I dig it. Imagine the fun we could have with an extra hand.
Reward: For the hell of it, I’m going to upgrade this item to an epic quality item. It won’t get any special properties and is kind of a pointless action, but I sure bet it makes you feel better about looting it, right? You’re welcome, you sick fuck.
A green glow surrounded me and I again got a feeling of being refreshed. I looked to Mary and she nodded in confirmation. She had cast Heal Party again which meant that her mana had recovered enough to do so. I looked around the room and saw that without the heavy chain tangling him up, Marv had finally gotten back on his feet. Lynn was standing straighter and looked like she was in less pain. Matt was still on the floor but was groaning and shifting into a sitting position. Aaron was still out of it though.
“Everyone, loot anything that isn’t tied down that you are capable of looting. Remember, the rule Simbul told us was that you have to be able to lift it off the ground for four seconds in order to loot it. Though that doesn’t seem to apply to items in corpses’ inventories,” I instructed. “On that note, make sure you loot the bodies too; there is no telling what useful stuff in on them…” I paused for a moment, “That includes the other crawlers.”
“You want us to loot other Humans?” Mary asked.
“They don’t need it,” Lynn said with a shrug. “They are dead, we are alive. I’d say we would benefit from their stuff more than them.”
“Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, I looted a map off of the boss which filled in my map some,” I told my friends. “Can y’all check your maps to see if it filled in for y’all too?”
“It would appear that is the case for me, My Lady.” Marv said a moment later, followed by Matt confirming that his was as well.
Far to the right I heard a crashing sound and I turned to look. The Crocodilian band was there frozen in place as if that would prevent me from seeing them. They clearly had been trying to sneak away and not draw attention to themselves when in their escape they had run into the side of one of the shacks that had still been standing, causing it to collapse which is what drew my attention. I examined them and saw that they all were level 1 and, more importantly, their markers on the map were white which meant they were not hostile.
“Shall I take them out, My Lady?” Marv asked, causing them to all shake in fear, one even pissed itself.
I shook my head.
“No. Let them go, they aren’t hostile to us and are no danger.” I replied while shooing them with my hands.
After a brief moment, they picked up their stuff and continued to make their way out of the chamber. When they reached the far exit, one of them, one that had a crude fiddle, paused and looked back at me. His companion paused, seeing that he had stopped and they said something amongst themselves that I couldn’t hear at that distance. Several of them gestured wildly but eventually they calmed and the one with the fiddle turned to face me. He took several deep breaths as though working up his courage and then trotted over toward me, causing my companions to visible tense up, though his dot was still white so I wasn’t too concerned at the moment.
MARV: Be careful, My Maiden. There is no clue what these ruffians will do.
CLAY: They are still non-hostile on the map, Marv. I’ll be ok.
When the Crocodilian reached me, he looked me up and down, he was a little taller than me and, while he also was wearing overalls like Billy had been, they were cleaner and better maintained. I examined him quickly and saw that he had a name, Walt.
Suddenly, Walt knelt down and presented his crude fiddle as if it were a crown.
I stared at him, not sure what he expected.
“For you, pretty lady.” He said in a rumbly voice with only a slight drawl to it.
“What?” I asked in surprise.
“We’re indebted to you,” Walt said. “Please take it.”
At his insistence I took the fiddle and as soon as I lifted its weight, Walt sprung back into a standing position before bowing deeply as if before one’s monarch.
“We shall repay your kindness one day.” He said before turning and jogging back to the others in his band. Together they made their way out of the chamber, though they did pause once more to turn and wave before disappearing around a corner.
I looked down at the fiddle in my hands. Though crude in appearance, it was an instrument that had clearly been loved and cared for.
Fiddle of the Rallying Cry
Handcrafted from swamp-oak and strung with the resilient tendons of a Crocodilian Enforcer, this weathered fiddle was gifted to you by a very grateful crocodilian named Walt. The sound of its bow being drawn across its strings bolsters allies and strikes fear in foes for as long as the music lasts. The greater your skill as a musician, the greater the effect.
Liberator’s Accord: For every ally currently fighting alongside you, the fiddle emits an aura that heals all allies for 2% of their maximum health per second that are within earshot. Hostiles within the sound of your playing have a chance to be [Frozen in Fear] for 1 second every 5 seconds. This effect scales with Charisma.
Cost: 1 MP per 5 seconds of continuous play. Liberator’s Accord requires 15 seconds of uninterrupted performance before its effects begin.