We spent roughly the next hour or so with everyone else opening their loot boxes and trying their new gear on. Marv graciously offered to wait till last, supposedly because he was the last party member to complete the tutorial, but I knew it was because he wanted to show off. How could I know this? I hear you asking, it’s simple, really. First, I’ve known Marv since he was a colt and he has always been one to show off, and second… one of the ‘benefits’ of our new bond was that I could feel his smug attitude in the back corner of my mind.
On top of that, apparently there was a chat feature that Simbul forgot to tell us about until after Lynn started opening her loot boxes and, just like in any MMO, you could chat to your party, or individuals. In fact, it looked like we could even set up custom groups amongst other crawlers we met. Even Simbul was able to chat with us now that she was the person who ran our tutorial program. The point is, while yes, I could feel what Marv was feeling emotionally, we couldn’t read each other’s minds… but he was IM’ing me constantly and it was starting to annoy me. Worse yet, he knew I knew that he knew it was annoying me and persisted anyway… at least I had finally managed to get him to stop typing in all caps in his messages.
As for my friend’s loot, there was basically more of the same as me, but with less Legendary loot boxes. Lynn and Mary both got Legendary Apparel Boxes for the whole costume theme, but for some reason Aaron was excluded, and Matt was obviously left out as he was off theme. Also, everyone in the party got a Legendary Weapon Box for Jenn’s death, not that it made up for it, but the rest were all bronze and silver boxes on par with what I got. Marv, though, was different. He had gotten one more Legendary loot box than me because of the pact, and kept speculating about what he would receive in it with his inane IMs. He was like a child learning to chat for the first time, though outwardly, he didn’t show it at all.
Both Lynn and Mary got Battle Fukus similar to mine, but they weren’t a part of a set though they did have some spells that equipping them unlocked, mainly Heal Party for Mary and Fireball for Lynn. They both did exactly what you would think.
They also got Legendary weapons similar to my Star-Maiden's Scepter of Judgment in function, but not in form. Once again, they were not part of a set and the spells attached to them that were on theme with the Battle Fuku they received. Lynn’s Saber of the Passionate Maiden allowed her to cast Wall of Flame, and Mary’s Staff of the Beautiful Maiden was a single target buff called Strong Foundation. None of their magic or equipment, however, required the yelling of activation phrases or silly poses to summon their weapons.
All in all, I was feeling kind of singled out by this. Lynn offered to participate in the ridiculousness I had to do by performing similar poses and shouts, but I told her not to worry about it.
As for the spells they got access to, Lynn’s were fairly straight forward, as was Mary’s buff spell… Strong Foundation however, wasn’t. I had gotten the chance to examine both weapons as they sprung into existence.
Saber of the Passionate Maiden
This Saber looks like it was ripped straight out of a children's cartoon, dipped in glitter, and handed to a maniac. The blade is made from an iridescent, shimmering pink alloy that smells faintly of strawberries and burning ozone. What is it? Who knows! And honestly, who really cares. The hilt is shaped like a winged heart because nothing screams Love and Justice quite like a heart with wings. When swung, it emits a high-pitched, sparkling chime that will absolutely ruin any attempts at stealth, but will definitely make you the center of attention. Now get out there and cut somebody!
Strength +2
Intelligence +3
Allows access to the spell: Wall of Flame
Wall of Flame: Channel your inner goddess of war by setting shit on fire! Have you always dreamed about burning shit up? Well now you can! Summon a towering wall of roaring, magical fire that torches anything in its path, a path that you get to determine! The fire behaves like normal fire, except when it burns, it whispers devastating insults about your enemies' hairlines, poor life choices, and lack of parental love. It's a literal burn. Get it? Oh, and the target's armor melts, too.
Cost: 5 MP
You didn't just incinerate their physical forms; you completely annihilated their self-esteem. Their ancestors feel that shame, crawler. Their ghost is literally crying in the corner right now. Good job.
Staff of the Beautiful Maiden
This staff is carved from 1000-year-old oak and adorned with what can only be described as an abstract shape cast designed by a toddler tripping on hallucinogenics. Why does the finial look like that? Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which unfortunately isn’t you. Don’t worry though, I’ve heard that many low-intelligent beings find the shape absolutely enthralling and will flock from miles around just to see you whip it out!
Constitution +2
Intelligence +3
Allows access to the spell: Strong Foundation
Strong Foundation: Enable the unmovable grace of a beautiful maiden! The target receives a magical buff that makes them completely immovable by any outside forces, meaning no knockbacks, no throws, and no gravity manipulation. While Strong Foundation is active, the target gains a 2x multiplier to Strength and a 4x multiplier to Constitution. The target must remain completely stationary. The second they take a single step, lift a foot, or try to do the cha-cha, the buff instantly breaks, and they go back to being a fragile sack of meat.
Cost: 3 MP
Look at you, Crawler. You’re like a beautiful, glittering brick wall. Monsters are going to hit you and just scatter like bugs on a windshield. Just don't flinch. Seriously, if you move an inch, that level-twenty boss is going to punt you across the room like a football.
After the girl’s boxes came time for the remaining guys to open theirs. Almost as if mocking my skirted state, Aaron got a pair of pants in his apparel box. He offered me his old pair, even though he was well over my size, and I took them graciously however, when I tried to equip them, the system unequipped my battle fuku, leaving me topless. Simbul explained that it was because the battle fuku occupied two equipment slots, the torso and the hips. She walked me through how to pull up my paper doll, which showed all of my available equipment slots, which included both chest and hip underwear slots, as well as several for finger and toe rings, nipple rings, and ear rings. Afterward, I reluctantly re-equipped my battle fuku abd returned the pants to Aaron because the stat loss just wasn't worth it.
Aaron also had a Legendary Weapon Box as did the rest of us, which gave him a spiked gauntlet called Gauntlet of Emotional Regulation which would turn him into a berserker upon striking a creature or individual. This would allow him to shrug off the effects of pain, but not spare him from the damage. There was also a concerning line in the description that hinted that after a certain amount of damage was sustained, he would no longer be able to distinguish friend from foe, which was concerning. Luckily, not hitting anything for thirty seconds would cancel the effect.
Matt, on the other hand, primarily got crawler biscuits in most of his chests though with a note commenting on his 'bitching about food'. Since he had one Legendary Weapon Box, his only legendary box, he did at least get one good piece of loot, the Scythe of Reaping which allowed him to steal the lifeforce of anything he struck with it, which was pretty bad ass, but the description repeatedly implied that using it made him ‘little emo bitch of an edgelord’. That said, it looked pretty sweet and even had a sinister purple glow to it, even if it looked awkward to wield.
The entire time everyone else was opening their loot, Simbul would get a look of inspiration on her face and pick up her notebook to either write or sketch something out. I casually made my way slowly toward her to satisfy my curiosity as everyone else was opening their loot. I had a feeling that once we got to Marv, there would be a brief window to see what she was doing with it and it’s not like I couldn’t examine everything he got afterward thanks to the bond.
Then it was time for Marv. Sadly, it also looked like our new bond meant that his excitement over opening his loot boxes, which he insisted was our loot due to our now shared inventory, was contagious and I found it infecting me as well. The whole thing was going to be annoyingly difficult to get used to.
As the first loot box appeared in front of Marv, Simbul again put the notebook down after scribbling away on the few remaining pages she had yet to touch. While she was distracted, I snatched it and opened it to a random page… I was not prepared. Shocked at what I saw, I flipped forward, only to be met with even more outrageous images.
Quickly I flipped all the way to the front of the notebook and found notes that covered the first twenty pages front and back. There were outlines detailing a whole ridiculous romantic love triangle between me, Matt, and Marv. To make it worse, Matt was torn between his love for me and my horse.
Then I flipped back to the art, well, in truth it was a comic, a disturbingly well drawn comic in the style of Kōshi Rikudō’s works. Simbul has even gone as far as to design a cover already and the title was… it was… god, this was embarrassing, the title was ‘The Magic Girl's Dilemma: My Familiar and My Best Friend Are Fighting Over Me (But Actually, They Want Each Other Too!)’.
Dumfounded, my brain spit out the only observation that it could at that moment…
“Why do I have breasts, and why are they so fucking big?” I asked to no one in particular, after blindly flipping back and forth before settling on a two-page spread of what was obviously me, only I had a huge chest, passionately caressing Marv’s horn while Matt cried in the cried in the background while reaching a hand out, though to whom, it wasn’t clear.
I looked up at Simbul who, upon hearing my stupefied question, froze. Unfortunately for her, she had been buzzing about in air a few feet away at the time. Before when she had frozen in place while flying, she was quick to recover, not this time. This time, she hit the floor hard and tipped over as if she were a statue suddenly dropped from a short height.
MARV: Are you ok, My Lady? I sensed a sudden spike in anxiety coming from you a moment before you cried out. Do you need my assistance?
Everyone, minus Simbul, was looking at me, and even worse, their attention was drifting to the notebook in my hands.
“Clay, are you ok?” Lynn asked. “You’re as pale as a sheet.”
Franticially, I typed out a quick response to Marv, not wanting him to get any ideas from what I had just seen.
CLAY: NO!!!
I looked as Lynn and tried to put a casual smile on my face while closing the notebook and placing it back on the table.
“No, I’m fine,” I said with a little laugh. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
The notebook I had tried to place firmly on the table was closer to the edge than I had thought and it tipped over, falling floor and landed open with the two-page spread visible to all in the room.
MARV: There is no need to yell, My Lady. What’s that?
The reactions of my friend’s and girlfriend were all different. Lynn’s eyes sparkled as she covered her mouth in a desperate attempt to hide her laugh. Mary’s mouth just fell open in shock while her brother gave me a look that clearly implied he was embarrassed to know me. Matt, however, had the worst reaction of all.
“Wow, your breasts are bigger than Power Girl’s ever got,” he said, clearly not thinking about the words coming out of his mouth. His eyes widened and he clasped a hand over his traitorous mouth as if to stop himself from making any more idiotic observations.
At that moment, Marv’s last loot box opened, and he shifted his attention to me, then the notebook on the floor.
MARV: OH MY!