Lying lazily on my bed, I stared at the ceiling.
There was absolutely nothing to do.
Besides, I really didn’t want to leave my apartment.
My stash of instant ramen would last a long while, and it was better not to prematurely irritate the villagers with my presence.
Yeah, villagers.
If someone had told me I’d end up in the Naruto anime, I would’ve punched them.
But fate decided to play a joke on me, and here I am.
My transmigration was painfully cliché.
I was walking back from the university and stepped into my apartment building’s stairwell.
Some idiot had smashed the lightbulb, and I completely missed the silhouettes waiting in the dark.
Long story short, I was shanked—simply and pointlessly.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t pointless.
If they were junkies, they probably just emptied a dead man’s pockets to score their next hit.
That was the price of my life: the handful of crumpled bills I had in my pants pocket at the time.
Given how our valiant police force handles crime, unless those bastards stayed right there next to my body until the cops arrived, they’d never get caught.
The report probably claimed I fell on the knife myself…
yeah, six times.
Where the knife went afterward, or why I even had one, wasn’t their problem, so long as they could close the case.
Then I opened my eyes as a newborn.
Uzumaki Naruto.
Just beautiful.
Honestly, for the first few moments—maybe even hours—I couldn’t make out a single thing from the overwhelming mess of sounds, smells, and blurry images bombarding my eyes.
Maybe it was sensory shock from the reincarnation, or just from being in an infant’s body.
Or maybe it’s just how things are supposed to be, and the whole world lags like that for every newborn in their first few hours.
I didn’t know the answer, so I just accepted it as a given.
But later, I was in for a massive shock.
While I was in the maternity ward—or wherever it was—a very recognizable face leaned over me.
Tsunade.
Behind her was the Third Hokage, and then Danzo.
I was immediately curious about what they were discussing, and what Tsunade was murmuring as she peered down at me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t understand the language at the time.
I only caught a few words of a dialect that sounded vaguely like Japanese.
What can I say?
My standard Japanese was C-minus at best, and that was with a dictionary, so a localized dialect was eighty to ninety percent gibberish to me.
And even if I had understood them, I wouldn’t have processed a thing.
The sheer realization of the deep, deep hole I had fallen into threw me into a profound stupor, completely eclipsing everything else around me.
Much later, I learned that the Fox had been sealed inside me.
No deviation from canon there.
Nor was there any deviation in me ending up at the orphanage.
While there, I kept my head down and stayed quiet, trying my best not to stand out.
It’s only in books and cartoons that the Main Character is instantly strong and cool from day one.
In reality, I had zero physical strength, fragile bones, and a whole host of other limitations.
Factoring in the villagers’ thinly veiled hatred for me—which was already noticeable and only grew stronger as the years passed—I decided not to walk the path of canon Naruto.
I wouldn’t draw attention to myself.
I lived a quiet, peaceful life until I turned six, at which point I was unceremoniously kicked out into adulthood and dumped into this exact apartment.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
Technically, the Academy accepts students at age six.
The catch?
There’s a two-month gap between my birthday and the day this village actually starts training its future killers.
Oh, right, and one more minor detail: that day, I got the distinct, unmistakable impression that the orphanage caretakers deeply, intensely despised one quiet, withdrawn little boy.
Why else would they urgently evict me the exact second I turned six?
Yep, right on my birthday.
Or, more accurately, on the anniversary of the Nine-Tails’ attack on Konoha.
Honestly, the trek through hostile territory to get to my apartment could have been described in a sprawling, three-volume fantasy doorstopper.
The constant stream of System notifications certainly hinted at an epic scale.
Right, I forgot to mention.
Did I say a few things happened on my birthday?
Well, the first was the start of my independent life.
The second was the awakening of the System.
It all started with one very interesting message: [Your character has reached the age at which his glorious journey in the Shinobi World begins.
The “Gamer” system welcomes you!] [Status] Name: Naruto Uzumaki Title: — Level: 1 (EXP: 0/100) HP: 440 / 440 MP: 90 / 90 (Chakra) STR: 7 VIT: 12 INT: 1 WIS: 0 LUK: 0 AGI: 2 CHK: 4 Chakra Control: -250 Unallocated Stat Points: 0 Traits: Demon, Jinchuriki, Uzumaki, Orphan Passive Skills: Stealth (Lv.
50) What a beautiful sight.
I quickly figured out that the interface responded to mental commands and began checking my notifications.
There was nothing particularly interesting in the backlog, so I focused my attention entirely on my Traits.
[Trait: Demon] [Acquired due to the “Jinchuriki” effect.
“Demon” is also your moniker among the inhabitants of Konohagakure.
Effect: -2,000 Reputation with the faction “Citizens of Konohagakure no Sato”.] [Reputation Window Unlocked.] Could be worse…
probably.
I didn’t even want to think about what canon Naruto’s reputation had been!
Honestly, I felt genuinely sorry for the original guy.
[Trait: Jinchuriki] [The Nine-Tailed Fox is sealed within your body.
Effect: Grants the “Demon” trait.
Chakra Control -150.
Reputation with local residents (Faction: Citizens of Konohagakure no Sato) -1,500.
STR +5.
HP x2.
Chakra x2.
Chakra Regeneration x2.
Unlocks the “Friend of the Bijuu” and “Monster” development branches.] The hit to Chakra Control was a massive bummer, enough to make me want to tear my hair out.
But canon Naruto still managed to do something, so it couldn’t be all bad…
in theory.
On the flip side, the bonuses from the status were heavily noticeable.
[Trait: Uzumaki] [You are a half-blood Uzumaki.
Due to your young age and underdeveloped chakra coils, the effect is currently minimal, but in a few years, your chakra reserves will strike fear even into Chunin.
Effect: VIT +10, HP +100, Chakra +50.
Grants +5 HP per level and +1 Chakra per level.
VIT leveling speed +20%.
Chakra Control -100 (Chakra Overload).
Minor affinity for Fuinjutsu.] Wow.
I always wondered how Naruto hadn’t been outright murdered in his childhood given the villagers’ attitude, and here was the secret.
The Uzumaki genetics stacked perfectly with the Jinchuriki trait.
I didn’t know exactly how much HP an average Genin had, but I suspected I was already brushing up against their level.
What did that mean?
It meant Naruto was genuinely hard to kill.
Of course, it also meant I was perfectly capable of getting my ass kicked by just about anyone.
[INT increased by 1.] Still, it was depressing.
If thinking logically gave me pluses to INT, it was easy to assume that stretching would give me AGI, lifting would give me STR, and pushing myself to exhaustion would raise VIT.
That was nice and all, but I had a sinking feeling that at a certain point, those parameters would start crawling up at a snail’s pace.
[INT increased by 1.] If that was the case, I needed to pick a “development branch” immediately.
Chasing INT and WIS would be plain stupid.
I wouldn’t be able to out-think anyone in this world anyway.
Frankly, if I understood this correctly, without the Uzumaki blood and the Fox inside me, my physical stats would be sitting at a pathetic 1.
Yeah, meaning my INT would have actually outpaced them just now.
But since I had such massive physical bonuses from my statuses, I was going to exploit them.
That left only one burning question—the same one that tortured me in every MMO: Tank or DPS?
Whatever, I’d leave that question for later.
Time to finish reading the statuses.
[Trait: Orphan] [Your parents died on the day of your birth, and you grew up without anyone looking out for you.
Effect: Reputation with the faction “Citizens of Konohagakure no Sato” -500.
Unlocks the potential to acquire the “Intuition” skill.
Poison Resistance +2%.
Stray (and domestic) dogs accept you as one of their own (Friendly with the Inuzuka faction).
Excellent spatial orientation.
Unlocks the “Stealth” skill.] Beautiful.
No, seriously.
Not the worst status to have.
I’d survive the reputation hit with the civilians and clanless shinobi somehow.
At least I wanted to believe that.
The reputation boost with the dog owners, on the other hand, was incredibly useful.
At the bare minimum, they wouldn’t pick fights with me.
If I played my cards right, even if I didn’t fully integrate into their clan (as if the village’s political schemers would ever allow that), I might at least gain allies whose backs I could trust.
In that regard, they were a solid option, and way more mentally stable than the Uchiha.
That just left Stealth.
Let’s see what my single skill—even if it was a passive one—gave me.
And why the hell was it such a high level!
[Skill: Stealth (Passive) — Level 50] [Born from your desire to avoid being seen and your continuous efforts to make that a reality, you learned to hide at a very young age.
This ability allows you to conceal yourself more effectively.
Effect: Probability of being noticed -54%.
Probability of being noticed in shadows -110%.] Uh, a hundred and ten?
What does that even mean?
I step into the shade of a tree and even the Hokage can’t find me?
Well, at least one plot armor piano fell from the sky in my favor.
This was an undeniably positive skill.
All the others gave me bonuses, sure, but then I’d look at the penalties and realize they balanced out the strengths entirely—if not outright overwhelmed them.
Who would have thought that my alienation and avoidance of everyone in the orphanage would actually pay off?
Sure, it wasn’t a kung-fu skill I could have earned by getting into constant fights, or raw VIT and STR on par with a strong Genin (though it was stupid to complain about my VIT—if I had been more active, it probably would have been even higher).
Alright, that was sorted.
Now, what was going on with the factions?
[Factions] [Citizens of Konoha: -4,000] [Inuzuka Clan: 1,700] [???
(To unlock other factions, you must interact with at least one representative of that faction.)] [Character Relationships] [???
(Old ties have been severed, shutting firmly like the orphanage gates behind you.)] Great, a completely clean slate!
If only it had wiped my faction reputations back to zero too.
Right, what were those flashing quests?
[Quest Alert: A New Home] [Reach your new apartment within three hours.
Time Remaining: 2:47:32 Reward: 100 EXP.
The ability to survive the night.
An apartment.
A door with a lock.
Failure Penalty: You will spend the night alone in the streets with villagers celebrating their victory over the Demon Fox (Highly likely to be fatal).] [Quest Alert: 43 Days of Hell] [You have just left your “cozy” nest and must now survive in a place where no one wants you and you own nothing.
Hold out until enrollment at the Shinobi Academy, and your thirst for life and knowledge will be rewarded (in the afterlife).
Conditions: Survive for 43 days.
Time Remaining: 42:18:28:42 Reward: 1,000 EXP.
Failure/Rejection Penalty: Death.] [Quest Alert: Seduce Kaguya] [If your actions fail to disrupt the timeline of this world and the Rabbit Goddess descends, you will be left with only one option.
Reward: A Goddess-Wife, survival, “variable.” Failure/Rejection Penalty: Destruction of the Shinobi World, Player restarts from the beginning.] Damn, these quests just got merrier and merrier!
I could practically feel the breath of Death—not just on the back of my neck, but intimately whispering right into my ear.
But, returning to reality, I can safely say I made it to my apartment in the empty dormitory on time, and I even leveled up.
Fantastic, of course, but it didn’t dispel the heavy gloom settling over my soul.
If anything, it made it worse.
The thing weighing on me the most was that I either had to twist myself into knots to prevent Kaguya from resurrecting, or become a level 100 Casanova…
or whatever the max level was here.
Seducing a woman you’re meeting for the first time, while being her enemy, and doing it quickly before she wiped everyone from existence?
That was an impossible task.
Even assuming I managed to unlock that development branch (however the hell you even get it), I wouldn’t have the time, energy, or opportunity to pursue the first option.
Sure, I might become a master seducer, but I’d lose the chance to stop Kaguya’s awakening entirely.
And my combat skills as a shinobi would be complete garbage, because I’d be training the wrong things.
The completely wrong things!
Honestly, it would have been better if they’d installed a dating sim system in my head instead of a standard Gamer interface.
The only silver lining was that I had an unlimited number of tries…
which was horrifying in its own right.
The mere thought of having to restart Naruto’s life from scratch made me break out in a cold sweat.
Why did I have such rotten luck to be reincarnated into this mess?