So, what can I say?
The System is convenient.
I figured that out on the very first day, when cleaning the apartment netted me +3 to STR, +5 to VIT, and even +2 to AGI (there were some hard-to-reach places that I couldn’t squeeze into without contorting my body, which meant I couldn’t scrub them otherwise).
Cleaning also earned me a skill.
And no, it wasn’t some cliché like “Cleaning,” “Dishwashing,” or whatever else I was actually doing at the time.
No, the System turned out to have either a twisted mind or a weird sense of humor, because I received the “Butler” skill.
[Skill: Butler (Passive)] [While engaging in mundane household chores, you unconsciously project an aura of aloof elegance.
Your precise movements and refined demeanor are capable of winning over any aristocrat…
or aristocratess.
You are not yet experienced in your craft, but you can already hold yourself like a quintessential high-society gentleman.
Chance to captivate everyone with your butler skills: 0.5%.
You clean 2% better than others.
Your dishwashing surpasses ordinary amateurs by 2%.
Clothes washed by your hands are 3% cleaner.
Chance of encountering Integra (or Alucard): 0.00001%.
Stamina drain during household chores is reduced by 10%.] But it’s best I stay silent about this humiliation.
I’ll be honest, some of the bonuses were actually pretty appealing.
But damn it, is it just me, or is the System trying to steer my skills toward the ultimate goal of seducing Kaguya?
I mean, what exactly am I supposed to clean during a battle with her?
Madara’s remains?
Or maybe I’m supposed to water Zetsu?
Pushing aside that horrifying thought—both the System-induced one and the one born from my own imagination—I decided to test just how much the System actually influenced this world.
It’s a shame I chose a spectacularly stupid method to do it.
Then again, it wasn’t that surprising.
Given my INT stat and my completely non-existent WIS stat, I’m honestly amazed I can still form coherent thoughts at all!
[INT increased by 1.] Yep, the System was definitely mocking me.
Anyway, I decided to test its influence on my body.
What if it merely displayed physical achievements but didn’t actually affect the real world mechanically?
I took a needle I found in the apartment, sterilized it, and pricked my finger.
As expected, I lost 1 HP.
In the real world, no matter how many times I pricked my finger with a needle, it wouldn’t kill me.
I wanted to see what would happen if I dropped my HP using this method.
Why not?
It was a simple and painless test.
Or so I thought at first.
Ten minutes later, having carved away three-quarters of my HP and actively fighting my own health regeneration, I felt—to put it mildly—awful.
Really, deeply awful.
On top of that, I earned the “Masochist” skill (which I couldn’t even argue against) and increased my VIT.
I didn’t get any bonus to regeneration, though, and I completely lacked the willpower to keep stabbing myself with a needle until the bitter end.
Conceding that the System absolutely had a direct, mechanical hold on my body, I shelved the experiment and lay down, giving my HP time to recover.
Later, I managed to generate another skill through direct action.
I also quickly acquired the missing “Observe” skill, which would have made my desperate dash on the first day a whole lot easier.
But back to the new skill: sometimes, during the evenings at the orphanage, I had a habit of humming under my breath.
Here, on my very first night, that habit netted me the “Singing” skill.
Honestly, if this whole shinobi profession thing didn’t pan out, I could always become a singer.
I actively leveled the skill every evening (a highly tactical maneuver for my future attempts to charm Kaguya, naturally!), and as it leveled up, my singing sounded increasingly pleasant.
During the first couple of days, I stocked up on instant ramen.
It was the cheapest calorie source I could buy in bulk with my rather pathetic monthly stipend.
I confess, I couldn’t resist splurging just a little—I bought a couple of kilos of carrots and an equal amount of rice as a side.
The rice made sense; there was an entire country named after the stuff not too far from here.
But the carrots…
I just gave in to temptation, figuring I’d test how long they could be stored in the Inventory.
Yep, early prep work just in case the Rabbit Goddess showed up ahead of schedule.
At the same time, I used Stealth to explore every inch of Konoha.
Well, the parts open to me, at least.
I found a couple of unused, completely abandoned training grounds.
I needed somewhere to train, right?
The problem was that shadows weren’t everywhere, so I still got spotted.
Shinobi were especially good at noticing me; they clearly had some kind of passive resistance to Stealth.
It was a shame I couldn’t see other people’s skills yet—my Observe just wasn’t high enough level.
All in all, my outings were educational.
Two different merchants tried to scam me by massively jacking up their prices.
I felt the full brunt of the townspeople’s hatred, vividly reflected in the glares they shot my way.
Some even twisted their faces in pure disgust, though thankfully no one was willing to deviate from their daily commute just to kick the local demon.
I also caught more than a few clips around the back of the head from shinobi rushing past.
Yep, it took them a fraction of a second to blur over, smack me, and bounce, but it sent their moods soaring to the heavens—they’d just put the “Monster” in his place, after all.
Enduring all of that earned me another skill.
I even managed to level it up on the very first day…
[Skill: Cold Gaze — Level 4] [If looks could freeze or kill, you would be living surrounded by corpses and ice cream.
But alas, this is impossible, and you must stoically endure the presence of other sentient beings.
Every 5 levels of this skill grant a +1% bonus to reputation gains with females, and a -1% penalty to reputation gains with males.] I get the feeling I made a mistake somewhere.
I wasn’t inching closer to my goal of becoming a badass shinobi who could…
well, you get the idea.
Instead, I was slowly, inevitably sliding toward the System’s nasty little mandate regarding a certain Goddess.
Heading out to an abandoned training ground that had a river, I decided to do some fishing.
The realization that I had absolutely nothing to fish with only hit me when I was already standing over the water.
Man, life with low INT and zero WIS is tough.
Determined to fix that—and since I was already at the training ground to get a physical workout anyway—I started doing push-ups while simultaneously reciting the multiplication tables in my head.
Once I finished those, I moved on to the Periodic Table.
The latter had massive, gaping holes in it.
I was no chemist in my past life, and with my INT inexplicably nerfed down to canon-Naruto levels, I certainly wasn’t going to become one here.
I realized I’d overdone it when my Stamina hit rock bottom and I passed out right there on the riverbank.
But hey, I still managed to raise my INT a bit.
I can only hope it helps me survive the relentless mockery of the System looming over me!
I woke up late in the evening to the rumbling trills of my stomach.
Unfortunately, heading straight home wasn’t an option—my entire body was aching horribly.
What did I expect?
First, I completely overloaded a body unaccustomed to such strain, and then I slept on the hard, cold ground.
These thoughts were validated by the fact that my “Masochist” skill had leveled up twice.
It was an eloquent hint as to who else would behave this way—nobody, except a complete idiot and Naruto.
Yeah, my own name was already starting to feel like a derogatory noun, and that was terrifying.
I decided to soak and relax in the water.
Thankfully, it was early summer, and the climate here was mild.
There wasn’t really a “normal” winter here.
In fact, it practically didn’t exist at all; if snow happened to fall once every five years, everyone lost their minds in shock.
Even so, I tested the water with my hand first to make sure the temperature was tolerable and that I wouldn’t instantly boil or freeze.
This was a shinobi village, after all—who knew if someone upstream was practicing a Katon jutsu?
Satisfied, I stripped off my clothes and somehow hauled myself into the water.
In my current state, just those two simple actions made me feel like I had spent all day unloading freight trains.
Yep, the previous six years of living a quiet, passive lifestyle on the outskirts were finally coming back to bite me.
As I soaked in the water, feeling my muscles gradually unspool, I couldn’t resist calling up my status.
[Status] Name: Naruto Uzumaki Title: — Level: 2 (EXP: 0/200) HP: 525 / 525 MP: 110 / 110 (Chakra) STR: 13 VIT: 21 INT: 11 WIS: 0 LUK: 0 AGI: 8 CHK: 6 Chakra Control: -250 Unallocated Stat Points: 5 I didn’t bother checking my Traits and Skills.
I’d laugh at those later…
I mean, read them later.
So, what did we have?
Leveling up completely restored my parameters.
I had learned that when I turned in my very first quest—my HP and Stamina had snapped back to full—but it hadn’t given me anything else.
And I still wasn’t passively earning EXP for any everyday actions.
My core stats didn’t automatically grow upon leveling up, either; they only went up through physical training.
On the bright side, each level yielded five free stat points.
At least, I hoped it was each level.
I hadn’t been able to verify it yet, since I’d only gained a single level in almost a week.
Man, I was really hoping things would be a little better.
Whatever.
Enough whining.
Time to hobble over to Ichiraku Ramen and see how they receive me.
Speaking of which, it was actually kind of surprising that no one had gone further than cuffs to the head and nasty glares so far.
Then again, a casual smack to the back of the head from a shinobi was basically equivalent to a full-force punch from someone my own age—at least, it felt pretty damn close.
So, time to pick up my feet and march forward.
Let’s go get some grub.