The first snow of the thirtieth year of Yongping in the Great Yin Dynasty quietly descended as the lamps were being lit.
Yun Shuangxu lay stiffly on the bed, allowing the man’s long, slightly cool fingers to undo her sash.
They had been married for three years without consummating their marriage. Tonight was the first time Xie Jingbai had been intimate with her.
The warm, yellow candlelight cast deep shadows across the man’s handsome profile. Her long lashes trembled lightly, and her breathing quickened. She could not tell whether it was nervousness or some kind of expectation too shameful to voice.
The celebrated Fourth Young Master Xie of the Duke of Zhenguo’s Residence was extraordinarily gifted and dazzling, a gentleman of impeccable bearing—the man in countless young women’s romantic dreams.
He was also the man she had loved and admired for many years.
She shyly closed her eyes and waited for that moment to arrive…
Xie Jingbai lay down beside her. Stretching out his long arm, he drew her into his embrace, his warm breath brushing against her ear again and again—
“Yun-niang is pregnant. Her pregnancy is unstable, and Mother invited a Daoist priest to take a look. He said that the feng shui of your Caiwei Courtyard is most compatible with her birth destiny. Could you… give the courtyard to her?”
Yun Shuangxu’s body stiffened. It was as though she had suddenly fallen from the clouds into the icy depths of the water, and that little bit of anticipation and warmth in her heart instantly froze into ice.
So that was how it was.
She had been wondering why Xie Jingbai, after refusing to touch her for three years of marriage, had suddenly changed his mind tonight.
It turned out that this delayed consummation, three years in the making, was not because her sincerity had moved him and he wished to start over with her. It was compensation for the grievance she had suffered, paid to her for the sake of another woman.
Since it was compensation for a grievance, that meant he knew she had been wronged.
It was simply that, compared with another woman, her grievance was insignificant.
There was a brazier burning in the room, and a brocade quilt covered her body. Yun Shuangxu lay in the man’s warm embrace, yet the chill running through her grew sharper with every moment.
“What? You don’t want to give it up?”
Xie Jingbai felt her stiffness. The arm around her waist tightened, seeming intimate when in truth it was merely forced.
It was laughable that she had been so preoccupied with her heart pounding like a startled deer that she had failed to notice his reluctance. She had even thought that, after three years, she had finally warmed this block of stone.
But a stone was a stone. How could it possibly be warmed?
Even if it was warmed, it would still be a stone.
“When did Concubine Lin become pregnant? How is it that I knew nothing about it?” She opened her eyes and asked in a hoarse voice.
Xie Jingbai’s gaze flickered, but his tone remained gentle. “It was diagnosed a few days ago. Mother said the pregnancy was not yet stable and that we shouldn’t announce it for the time being, so I didn’t tell you.”
As though afraid she might misunderstand, he added, “I didn’t tell anyone else, either. Only Mother and Grandmother know.”
Yun Shuangxu felt a tightness in her chest, as if something were lodged inside it, blocking her breath.
So, Old Madam and Madam had agreed to conceal it from her.
Why hide it from her?
Were they afraid she would grow jealous and use some sort of scheme against Lin Qingyun?
After all, in their eyes, even her position as the Young Madam of the Duke’s residence had been obtained through dishonorable means.
The truth was not like that, but unfortunately, no one believed her.
When Xie Jingbai saw that she remained silent, he softened his tone further. “Yun-niang has always been weak and sickly. It was not easy for her to become pregnant. You are the principal wife, my legal wife, and my child is your child as well. As the child’s mother, just let her have her way this once—for the child’s sake!”
Let her have her way this once?
Yun Shuangxu wanted to laugh.
In these three years, how many times had she yielded to Lin Qingyun?
On the very day of her wedding, she had been forced to accept Lin Qingyun entering the household alongside her.
On the night of the bridal candles, Xie Jingbai had not even lifted her veil. He had gone straight to sleep in Lin Qingyun’s room.
Lin Qingyun had taken a fancy to the kingfisher-jade hair ornaments from her dowry, and Xie Jingbai had ordered her to give them to Lin Qingyun.
Lin Qingyun had liked the peonies in her courtyard, and Xie Jingbai had ordered people to dig them up by the roots and transplant them into Lin Qingyun’s courtyard.
Afraid that she would be bored, her younger brother had carefully trained a clever-tongued parrot and given it to her. When Lin Qingyun said she wanted it, Xie Jingbai had told her without the slightest hesitation to give it to her.
And now, even the last place where she could shelter was to be given up?
“You are the legal wife. You must understand the bigger picture and not haggle over every little thing!”
Xie Jingbai advised her this way every time.
Was a legal wife simply fated to swallow her anger and endure humiliation?
She had admired Xie Jingbai since childhood. Because of what had happened back then, she had also felt grateful toward him—grateful that he had married her despite enormous pressure and preserved her dignity.
But if that meant she had to live a miserable, humiliated life for the rest of her life, then she might as well give up this position as his legal wife!
Yun Shuangxu opened her mouth, intending to argue, when an urgent voice suddenly sounded outside the window.
“Fourth Master, the Concubine has a stomachache. Please hurry back and take a look!”
Xie Jingbai’s expression changed. He immediately released Yun Shuangxu and sat up, his anxious expression utterly unlike his usual cool self-restraint.
So it was not that he could not lose control.
He simply would not lose control for her.
Yun Shuangxu sat up after him, but silently swallowed back the words at the tip of her tongue.
Xie Jingbai threw off the quilt and got out of bed. He put on his outer robe, fastened his jade belt, and draped a fox-fur cloak over his shoulders. Once again, he possessed the refined, noble bearing of a cool and dignified gentleman.
He bent slightly at the waist. His long, fair fingers brushed across Yun Shuangxu’s cheek as he helped tuck her disheveled black hair behind her ear.
The tender gesture was accompanied by merciless words.
“There is no time to lose. Tomorrow, I’ll have someone prepare the side courtyard. Move there the day after tomorrow.”
With that, he withdrew his hand, turned around, and strode away.
The door was pulled open.
Cold wind swept inside, and the dying lamp at the head of the bed flickered before going out.
At the instant darkness descended, Yun Shuangxu clearly heard the tiny flame in her heart—the one that had clung to life for three years—go out with a soft whoosh.
It turned out that a heart could die in no more than an instant, yet she had stubbornly held on for more than a thousand days and nights.
She was truly a fool!
“Young Madam, are you all right?”
With a soft call, the maid Lü Bo entered carrying a candle stand.
When she saw Yun Shuangxu sitting on the bed in the dark, her eyes vacant and her face pale, the young maid was overwhelmed with guilt. “It’s all this servant’s fault for failing to guard the door properly and allowing people from Concubine Lin’s side to take advantage of the opportunity. This servant has wronged you, Young Madam…”
“It’s all right. This isn’t your fault.” Yun Shuangxu came back to herself and gently shook her head.
Even if one could guard the door, one could not guard a person’s presence.
Even if one could guard the person, one could not guard the person’s heart.
When someone’s heart was not with you, tying them up with a rope would be useless.
Lü Bo set down the candle stand, glanced at her half-open clothing, and asked with the faintest shred of hope, “Did Young Madam and Fourth Master consummate the marriage?”
“No.”
Those two words from Yun Shuangxu extinguished her hope. Strangely, Yun Shuangxu even felt a trace of relief.
Fortunately, Xie Jingbai had brought up changing courtyards before they consummated the marriage.
If he had mentioned it afterward, it would truly have been as disgusting as having swallowed a fly.
Lü Bo sighed and helped straighten Yun Shuangxu’s clothes. “Madam knows about this. I’m afraid she’ll be disappointed again.”
The Madam Lü Bo referred to was Yun Shuangxu’s mother, Marquise Ye of Jing’an.
Since the founding of the Great Yin Dynasty, the Jing’an Marquis Residence had been passed down through four generations. By the time it reached Yun Shuangxu’s father’s generation, the family had begun to decline.
After her father died of illness, only Yun Shuangxu, her younger brother, and their mother remained, relying on one another for survival.
Unfortunately, her younger brother was also a hopeless case. He spent all day chasing cats and teasing dogs, indulging in wine and women, and was the foremost wastrel in the capital.
When the Son of Heaven heard of his waywardness, he had proposed several times that the Jing’an Marquis Residence be stripped of its title. Out of consideration for the accomplishments of the Yun family’s ancestors, however, he had yet to reach a final decision.
Her mother lived in constant fear, placing all her hopes on Yun Shuangxu. She counted on Yun Shuangxu to bear a son or daughter for Xie Jingbai, establish a firm footing in the Duke’s residence, and use the residence’s influence to help her younger brother preserve their title.
But now, she could barely even keep her own residence…
The day after tomorrow, was she truly going to accept this humiliating arrangement and move to the side courtyard?
If she did, what place would she have left to stand in the Duke’s residence?
Rather than endure a life without dignity, it would be cleaner to simply seek a divorce.