The thought of marital separation flashed through Yun Shuangxu’s mind like a flickering flame, scorching her heart until it trembled.
At the thought of no longer having to look at Xie Jingbai’s icy face, no longer having to deal with the hidden attacks within the residence, and no longer having to humble herself and compromise for the sake of that pitiful shred of dignity, she felt that even her breathing had become incomparably free.
But that sense of relief lasted only an instant before the heavy weight of reality pressed down once more.
Her mother was old-fashioned and single-mindedly wanted her to support her younger brother. She certainly would not agree to her marital separation.
As a third-rank Vice Censor-in-Chief, Xie Jingbai was responsible for supervising all the officials on behalf of the Emperor. His conduct and reputation were of the utmost importance. How could he possibly allow his wife to propose marital separation and give people something to gossip about?
As for her parents-in-law and the Old Madam, for the sake of the Duke’s residence’s reputation, they would be even less willing to indulge such willful behavior from her.
Therefore, marital separation was by no means an easy matter for her. It was a dangerous move in which one wrong step could result in total defeat.
“It’s late. Go to sleep for now!”
She sighed, rubbed her aching temples, and decided that no matter what, she would sleep first and think about the rest afterward.
In any case, the sky was not going to fall. Once she had rested and regained her strength, she would surely think of a solution.
The wind and snow outside grew fiercer with every passing gust. She turned toward the wall, pulled up the quilt, and covered herself with it.
She had thought that since her heart had already died, she would not shed any more tears. Yet as she turned over, a tear still slipped quietly from the corner of her eye and seeped into the pillow…
So be it!
Let this be the final offering to that youthful love which had come to nothing.
She would allow herself to be weak this one last time.
After all, weakness was meant for those who cared about you to see. To someone who did not care about you, it would only seem affected.
…
Yun Shuangxu cried herself to sleep. When she awoke the next day and began dressing, she discovered that her eyes were swollen.
It was said that water steeped with overnight tea leaves could reduce swelling. She was just about to have Lü Bo bring some when a commotion suddenly arose in the courtyard.
“The Young Madam hasn’t risen yet. Even if the Concubine is here to pay her respects, she must wait until this servant has announced her arrival.”
“Move aside. Who said our Concubine came to pay her respects?”
“Our Concubine is with child. The Young Madam has already agreed to Fourth Master’s request to give Caiwei Courtyard to the Concubine as her residence. The Concubine has many belongings, so she came first to see how they should be arranged.”
“Ridiculous. That’s impossible.”
“Whether it’s ridiculous or not, we’ll know once the Young Madam comes out and we ask her.”
Amid the shouting, a group of people headed toward the main room.
Lü Bo stopped combing her hair and stared in astonishment at Yun Shuangxu in the mirror. “Young Madam, is this true?”
The woman in the mirror had snow-white skin and raven-black hair, a face like a lotus, yet her dark almond-shaped eyes held an ashen, deathly stillness.
Remembering the desolate expression on the Young Madam’s face as she had sat in the darkness the previous night, Lü Bo immediately knew that it was true.
She had thought the Young Madam was merely grieving over Fourth Master’s departure. She had never imagined that the Young Madam had suffered such a tremendous humiliation.
The principal wife was still a virgin, while the concubine had become pregnant first—and now she even wanted to seize the principal wife’s courtyard.
Who could endure such unbearable disgrace?
Lü Bo’s eyes reddened despite herself. “Why didn’t the Young Madam tell this servant last night?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to sleep if I told you.” Yun Shuangxu patted her hand and rose. “Come on. Let’s go out and see what this is about.”
The snow that had fallen all night had stopped, but the sky remained gloomy and showed no sign of clearing.
The mistress and maid had just reached the corridor when they saw Lin Qingyun being escorted over by four or five maidservants, walking as delicately as a willow swaying in the breeze.
The snowlight filling the courtyard illuminated her peach-pink cloak trimmed with white fox fur. One hand rested over her heart, while her two willow brows were faintly knit, making her look like a sickly Xi Shi who had stepped out of a painting.
The moment Lü Bo saw her affected, artificial manner, she was seized by anger. She wished she could rush over and slap her twice, exposing her true colors.
Yun Shuangxu, however, was thinking that such a bright, beautiful color truly did look good when worn.
Xie Jingbai always said that she was the principal wife and that her clothing and adornments had to be simple and proper. Colors that were too bright and coquettish did not suit her.
But when she had married into the household, she had been only sixteen or seventeen, precisely at the age when a girl loved beauty.
Simply because Xie Jingbai disliked it, she had worn plain colors for years, needlessly letting such wonderful years pass her by.
“Elder Sister…” Supported by a maidservant, Lin Qingyun approached and gave Yun Shuangxu a false, shallow curtsy. “Your younger sister is with child and cannot perform the full formal salute. I beg Elder Sister’s forgiveness!”
“Rise.” Yun Shuangxu took a step back to keep her distance, unwilling to say even one extra word to her.
Before this woman had become pregnant, she had already employed all kinds of tricks one after another. Now that she was carrying such a precious belly, Yun Shuangxu had to be twice as careful.
Lin Qingyun thanked her, straightened up, and looked at Yun Shuangxu with a coquettish smile. “Why are Elder Sister’s eyes swollen? Could it be that you were reluctant to give the courtyard to your younger sister and secretly hid beneath the covers last night to cry?”
As soon as she said this, all the maids and older servant women nearby turned to look at Yun Shuangxu.
Lü Bo put her hands on her hips and was about to step forward, but Yun Shuangxu stopped her with a look.
Seeing this, Lin Qingyun became even more brazen. “It isn’t the first time Elder Sister has given something to me. Didn’t you give me those peonies and parrots as well? Why are you reluctant this time? Fourth Master said that as the principal wife, you possessed the magnanimity to tolerate others. Was that all just an act?”
“Concubine, what nonsense are you spouting? Is that something a concubine should say?” Lü Bo could no longer stand by and watch. She shouted angrily at Lin Qingyun.
Yun Shuangxu reached out and pulled Lü Bo behind her, signaling her not to say anything more.
Lin Qingyun had been speaking for quite some time, yet Yun Shuangxu remained completely unmoved. Anxiety began to rise within her.
She had been the illegitimate daughter of the Chief Physician of the Imperial Medical Academy. Back then, she had nearly coaxed Xie Jingbai into marrying her as his wife. Who would have thought that Yun Shuangxu would appear halfway through and ruin everything, leaving her with no choice but to humble herself and become a concubine?
She hated Yun Shuangxu to the point that her teeth ached. Knowing that Yun Shuangxu was proud and strong-willed, she had spent the past three years using every means at her disposal to force Yun Shuangxu and Xie Jingbai to break apart.
Yet Yun Shuangxu had gritted her teeth and endured it all.
Unwilling to accept this, Lin Qingyun had taken the risk of swallowing a false-pregnancy drug and bribed a Daoist priest to inspect the residence’s feng shui. Her purpose was to drive Yun Shuangxu into a dead end, making her unable to bear the humiliation and request marital separation herself.
But now, after all her provocation, Yun Shuangxu still showed no reaction at all. Could it be that, just as before, everything would come to nothing?
No.
This was a trap she had set at enormous risk. She could not let it end like this.
Her eyes shifted as she suddenly threw herself to her knees in front of Yun Shuangxu.
“Elder Sister, I was wrong. You can hit me or curse me, but please, don’t let this cause a rift between you and Fourth Master. I’m merely a lowly concubine; I was never worthy of bearing Fourth Master’s child in the first place. I probably don’t have the fortune to give birth to this child…”
The sudden outburst of sobbing left everyone staring wide-eyed in shock.
Yun Shuangxu vaguely guessed what was happening. When she looked up, she saw Xie Jingbai, dressed in a crimson official robe, hurrying toward them.
“Yun-niang, are you all right? Is anything hurting?”
Xie Jingbai quickly reached the corridor, bent down, and helped Lin Qingyun up. His cool, ethereal face was filled with concern.
Lin Qingyun took advantage of the moment to collapse against him, coughing and gasping as she began to cry. “Fourth Master, don’t bother with me. Hurry and comfort Elder Sister instead. It’s only because I don’t know how to speak properly that I angered her…”
Xie Jingbai raised his head to look at Yun Shuangxu, displeasure tightening his brows. “The decision to have you change courtyards was Mother’s. It has nothing to do with Yun-niang. Why must you take your anger out on her?”
“I didn’t. She—”
“Enough!”
Before Yun Shuangxu could finish, Xie Jingbai cut her off coldly. “I saw it with my own eyes. What more do you have to argue about? Yun-niang was crying and begging me not to force you, yet as the mistress of the household, how can you be so narrow-minded?”
The cold wind swept snow from the eaves into the corridor, and Yun Shuangxu could not help shivering.
In the past, she had never understood how Xie Jingbai, an imperial censor whose very duty was to investigate the conduct and discipline of officials, could fail to see through such clumsy tricks from Lin Qingyun.
Now, she finally understood.
Whether a woman’s methods were clever or not did not matter. All that mattered was whether the man loved her.
If he loved you, he would choose to be selectively blind.
If he did not love you, then even if you did nothing at all, he could still find fault with you.
Feelings arose from the heart, but the human heart itself grew biased.
Any woman who tried to seek fairness in love was a fool.
And Yun Shuangxu was the greatest fool of them all.
She raised a hand and smoothed back the strands of hair the wind had tousled at her temples. Using the motion, she wiped away the dampness at the corner of her eye, then fixed her gaze on the man she had loved for so many years—
“Say whatever Fourth Master wishes. I will absolutely not give up the courtyard. If Fourth Master insists that I do so, then let us have a marital separation. We can each go our own way and have nothing more to do with each other!”