“Why didn’t he say anything before leaving?”
An ominous feeling crept into Shen Yandong’s heart.
He knew that what he had done last night had probably gone a bit too far.
But hadn’t Di Zhe been insisting over and over again that he liked him…?
Perhaps Di Zhe was just feeling a little shy, so he left first.
What should he do?
Wait a little longer?
In the past, no matter how coldly he treated Di Zhe, the next day Di Zhe would still come bounding toward him with bright, sunny enthusiasm.
He thought that this time would probably be the same.
He shouldn’t… have to worry.
Shen Yandong sent Di Zhe a message: [Did you get home? If you made it back safely, let me know.]
There was no reply.
Shen Yandong packed his things and returned home. Everything seemed normal.
And yet, there was always that inexplicable sense of unease lingering in his chest.
He began tidying up his study. The drawer was stuffed full of letters, love letters that Di Zhe had written to him.
Not just letters but all sorts of random little items too.
Over the past two years, whenever the mood struck him, Di Zhe would stuff things into Shen Yandong’s hands, an eraser he had forgotten to bring to an exam, which Di Zhe had forced on him; a handkerchief they had used together to wipe sweat during gym class; a little fish shaped bracelet wishing him success in a competition; a whole box of folded paper stars; a crocheted hedgehog.
Every single one of them, he had originally said he didn’t want to accept them but Di Zhe insisted. If Shen Yandong refused, Di Zhe would simply sneak them into his schoolbag when he wasn’t around.
And it worked every time.
By the time Shen Yandong discovered them, it was always too late, he couldn’t bring himself to throw them away yet keeping them felt awkward.
He had always thought that one day, when he had the time, he would sort through everything and decide what to do.
But before he knew it, the drawer was already overflowing, far too much to organize anymore.
Come to think of it, he had never given Di Zhe anything in return.
Now that he had agreed to officially become Di Zhe’s lover, he should treat him with the same care.
In that case, it didn’t seem right for him to just stand here and wait for Di Zhe to come find him anymore.
He should take the initiative.
Shen Yandong dialed Di Zhe’s number.
In truth, he had never saved Di Zhe’s contact information. Two years ago, when Di Zhe had asked to exchange numbers, he had refused but he had memorized the string of digits, so there had never been any need to store it.
“Beep… beep…”
“Sorry, the number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.”
He called three times in a row but each attempt sank into silence, like a stone disappearing into the sea.
Shen Yandong found it a little strange.
But it wasn’t too worrying. Di Zhe led a busy, active life, maybe he was out having fun. Or perhaps he had been too exhausted from last night and had gone home to sleep. Or maybe those underclassmen at school needed something from him. After all, that guy was always busy.
For some reason, Shen Yandong felt a faint trace of bitterness.
To be honest, whenever he saw Di Zhe fooling around with those people, laughing, shoving, making casual physical contact, it had always made him a little uncomfortable.
Alphas really had no sense of boundaries.
In the future, he would have to tell Di Zhe, now that he had a lover, he shouldn’t be so physically close with others anymore. Alpha, beta, omega, it didn’t matter. None of them were acceptable.
Of course, normal social interaction was an exception.
Then he reflected on himself.
Was this… a bit abnormal?
They had only been together for half a day and he was already acting possessive, like some controlling partner. That wasn’t a healthy mindset for a relationship.
He should just wait a little longer. Maybe in a while, Di Zhe would contact him.
Shen Yandong had full confidence in his university admission results. He had already prepared the textbooks he would need and wanted to obtain his certification as soon as possible.
He might as well start studying.
He tried to calm himself and focus but no matter what he did, he couldn’t enter that state of concentration. It felt as if a long time had passed but when he checked the time, only a little over ten minutes had gone by.
He didn’t know how many times he had checked his phone.
Then, with a soft “ding,” a new message notification appeared. He grabbed his phone immediately, only to find that it was just a spam advertisement.
Still nothing from Di Zhe.
He set the phone down.
Frowning deeply, Shen Yandong stared at his book. He fixed his eyes on the page for three whole minutes yet couldn’t take in a single word.
Taking a steadying breath, he opened the group chat for his old high school classmates. He lurked for a while, watching as they excitedly discussed plans to go out together, before finally asking:
[Is Di Ji hanging out with you guys?]
Because the chat had already been moving at a rapid pace, several people were still enthusiastically messaging when his line was sent.
Two seconds later, everything fell silent.
Shen Yandong sent it again: [Does anyone know where Di Zhe is?]
No one replied.
After a moment’s thought, Shen Yandong asked again: [Can anyone tell me Di Zhe’s home address? I need to find him.]
Still, there was no response.
Shen Yandong began to lose his patience. He directly sent a private message to the boy who was usually closest to Di Zhe: [Hello, could you tell me where Di Zhe lives? Thank you.]
At the top of the chat window, the words “typing…” appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again, only to vanish once more. This repeated four or five times. After nearly half an hour, the other party finally sent a sweating emoji, followed by: [Why are you suddenly asking this?]
Shen Yandong replied: [I need to find Di Zhe.]
The response came quickly: [Shen Yandong, don’t you think you’ve gone too far? You already dumped our boss, why are you looking for him again?]
Shen Yandong: “?”
Who dumped Di Zhe?
Shen Yandong: [….. ]
Shen Yandong: [Where did you hear that I used Di Zhe?]
The other party replied: [Do I even need to hear it from someone else? I saw it with my own eyes. After you dumped him last night, he didn’t go home. He stayed out all night crying, he looked really heartbroken.]
[You’re way too cold hearted. What were you even thinking? Our boss treated you so well. Even a stone should’ve warmed up by now.]
[Now that you’ve already used him, what, are you regretting it? Even as an outsider, I find this ridiculous.]
[Do him a favor and stop tormenting him.]
Every time Shen Yandong asked someone, he got scolded in return.
It was infuriating.
That guy was talking complete nonsense, even spreading rumors everywhere that he was some kind of heartless scumbag. His reputation had been completely ruined.
If he found Di Zhe… once he found him…
In any case, no matter how much contempt he was facing, he had to avoid alerting the enemy. Otherwise, Di Zhe might run away again.
Shen Yandong asked around but although these people usually seemed like casual drinking buddies, at this moment they were all fiercely loyal. Not a single one of them betrayed Di Zhe.
In the end, he went to ask a teacher. Only then did he finally learn Di Zhe’s home address.
He was on the verge of losing his mind.
If no one had told him, he would have had no choice but to contact the principal and pull up the personal records directly from the school system.
By then, it had already been the third day since Di Zhe had completely disappeared without a trace.
For those three days, Shen Yandong had barely slept.
He wanted to go straight to Di Zhe’s house and look for him but fortunately, he still retained a sliver of rationality. He knew that in his current state, he must look terrible.
So he took the time to go home, take a shower and change into clean clothes before heading to the Di residence.
His body was exhausted to the extreme yet his mind remained in a strange state of clarity, as if his soul had already detached from him.
Lightheaded, he stood outside Di Zhe’s door and pressed the video doorbell.
A middle aged woman with a heavy accent responded. Shen Yandong couldn’t quite understand the local dialect, he only managed to catch fragments, enough to realize she was asking who he was looking for.
“I’m looking for Di Zhe,” he said. Then he added, “I’m his classmate.”
The woman suddenly became inexplicably agitated, rattling off a stream of words he couldn’t understand. After a while, another woman’s voice appeared, sounding somewhat angry, saying something like “Don’t open the door for him.” Only then did she switch to standard Mandarin and address him:
“You’re Shen Yandong, aren’t you? You’ve come to see our Di Zhe?”
This should be Di Zhe’s mother, Shen Yandong guessed.
All at once, he felt nervous.
“Yes, hello, Auntie. I came to see Di Zhe.”
The woman gave a cold snort and said curtly, “Di Zhe isn’t home. Please leave.”
With that, she hung up immediately.
Shen Yandong was shut out once again.
In his entire life, he had never suffered so many slights.
A surge of anger rose within him, wave after wave.
What was Di Zhe doing?
Weren’t they doing fine as a couple? Why had he suddenly disappeared without a trace and even gone around telling everyone that Shen Yandong was heartless?
Was this deliberate revenge for the way Shen Yandong had treated him coldly over the past two years? Or was it because of what happened last night, when he had pinned him down?
No.
He didn’t believe it.
Di Zhe had chased after him shamelessly for so long, had spoken countless vows of unwavering devotion, had said “I like you” tens of thousands of times, each word as sincere as an oath.
How could any of that have been fake?
He could feel it clearly, Di Zhe truly liked him.
Holding back a surge of anger, Shen Yandong stood there for a while, his face alternating between flushed red and pale white as he stared at the door of Di Zhe’s house. In the end, he still couldn’t bring himself to shamelessly knock on it again.
He had his pride too.
Everyone knew that his pride was sky high.
Was he supposed to go chasing after Di Zhe now?
It wasn’t him who had fallen in love first. Nor was it him who had stubbornly pursued someone for two whole years.
He refused to believe it, Di Zhe liked him that much, so how could he possibly give up so easily? How could feelings that deep just disappear overnight?
Di Zhe was probably just angry, after all, as an alpha, he had been the one to end up in that position.
But if Di Zhe wanted to be in a relationship with him, then he had to accept the cost. Shen Yandong would naturally be the one in control.
Yet when Shen Yandong returned home, lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, the image of Di Zhe surfaced again, those bright, shining eyes fixed on him, filled with certainty as he declared that he would apply to the same university.
…Would Di Zhe still apply to the same university as him now?
He didn’t dare to be sure anymore.
Leave.
He didn’t want to admit it but he had an overwhelmingly strong premonition, Di Zhe wasn’t just running away for now. He was planning to disappear from his life entirely.
People often said that between someone who chased relentlessly and the one being chased, the true control actually lay in the hands of the pursuer.
They could choose to chase whenever they wanted and just as easily stop when they no longer felt like it.
But when the one who had always been chasing suddenly stopped, what was the one who had grown used to being chased supposed to do?
That was exactly the situation he found himself in now.
He had never imagined that one day, if Di Zhe stopped liking him, it would hurt this much.
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
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☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
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← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Love at first sightChapter 2 · Lack of discretionChapter 3 · ShamelessChapter 4 · UnreasonableChapter 5 · PerseveranceChapter 6 · College Entrance Examination EndChapter 7 · Graduation dinnerChapter 8 · Confession nightChapter 9 · Pressing in step by stepChapter 10 · Enough is enoughChapter 11 · A huge blowChapter 12 · University start dateChapter 13 · Roommate meetingChapter 14 · Relentless harassmentChapter 15 · I’ll pick you upChapter 16 · It’s my vulnerable periodChapter 17 · Voluntary datingChapter 18 · Open your heartChapter 19 · Obedient to allChapter 20 · Not a virginChapter 21 · Swear to love meChapter 22 · Youthful DaydreamsChapter 23 · Teenage ThoughtsChapter 24 · EmptyChapter 25 · Extremely anxiousChapter 26 · Too lazy to struggleChapter 27 · From now on