In her past life, she couldn’t keep that five thousand yuan—her mother stole it. She knelt before her mother, begging her to return the money, only to be met with insults and curses.
“A child like you shouldn’t carry so much money.”
“What do you mean you earned it? I gave birth to you.”
“I’ll cover your tuition and living expenses. I need this money for something else.”
“Stop crying! I knew I couldn’t count on you. I raised you all these years, and now you think you’re something, earning money. I’m your mother, and you’re crying like the sky is falling just because I spent a little of your money? If you’re so capable, pay me back for all the money I’ve spent on you before. Get out of here and cry somewhere else.” The money she had worked so hard for over months of overtime was taken from her just like that. Then, with barely enough to eat, she suffered from leg cramps due to calcium deficiency in the middle of the night and woke up hungry.
She had low blood sugar and fainted several times.
The school doctor said she was severely malnourished. Jiang’s mother, called in by the teacher, slapped her in the school clinic.
“Tell me, where did all your money go if you weren’t eating properly? You must have wasted it.” There were other people in the clinic at the time, and she just wanted to disappear into the ground, feeling utterly ashamed.
One of her classmates stood up for her.
“Jiang Xue is always the most frugal. She only buys the cheapest dishes and never snacks or drinks. She lives a very tight life.”
“Auntie, maybe you could increase Jiang Xue’s allowance.”
When she returned home, she was interrogated: “That boy who took you to the clinic and spoke up for you—are you dating him?”
“I sent you to school. If I find out you’re fooling around with other boys, I’ll beat you to death.” Jiang’s mother threatened her viciously.
“No, no, I’m not!”
“You’d better not be.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t end up like you.” Jiang Xue’s words instantly enraged Jiang’s mother, who grabbed a broom and started hitting her while crying.
“Did your grandmother tell you that? That old hag! I’m your mother, and my business is none of your concern!”
“That old witch, your grandmother, is no good. And you, you little wretch, you’ll believe whatever she says. I’m your mother, and instead of siding with me, you side with that old hag. How pathetic!” She cursed while slapping Jiang Xue, leaving red handprints almost instantly wherever she struck.
When Jiang Haiyang returned and learned what had happened, he comforted the crying Jiang’s mother and told Jiang Xue to apologize.
Jiang Xue stubbornly refused to apologize. In the end, she didn’t even eat at home and returned to her dormitory.
Not only that, but Jiang’s mother also withheld her allowance for that week.
She was so hungry she felt dizzy. When most people had finished eating, she would go to the cafeteria to get a bowl of free soup. That bowl of soup kept her from starving to death. A girl in her dormitory noticed her situation and would feed her under the pretense of having ordered too much food and not being hungry, protecting her fragile self-esteem at the time.
So, in the end, she gave in and apologized to Jiang’s mother.
Jiang’s mother suddenly discovered a good way to control her: if she didn’t obey, her allowance would be cut off.
Back then, she was on the verge of giving up. She didn’t want to study anymore and thought about running away.
Finding a factory job would at least ensure she could eat her fill.
But a single belief—the desire to go to university and change her fate—kept her going when she was about to break.
During holidays in high school, she would return to her parents’ home in the county town.
During puberty, she ate a lot and got hungry quickly. With little fat in her diet, she had a particularly big appetite. At mealtimes, if she served herself an extra bowl of rice or took one more piece of meat, Jiang's mother would slam her chopsticks down.
Back then, the house they bought in the county town was only eighty or ninety square meters, divided into three bedrooms, a living room, and a dining area. Her younger brother and sister each had their own room, while her parents shared one.
She usually lived in the dormitory, but during holidays when she returned to her parents' place, she didn’t even have a place to sleep.
"I don’t want to share a room with my sister. My room is so small, there’s no way we can both fit. Why should I have to sleep with her? Jiang Chao’s room is even a little bigger than mine—why doesn’t she sleep with Jiang Chao? It’s not fair."
"Your brother is a boy, and you and your sister are girls," Jiang's father tried to reason.
"I don’t care! This is my room. I have the right not to let anyone else stay here. You should respect that."
Only a child who is truly loved can be so assertive, can demand so-called fairness. Yet, from the same parents, how unfairly she was treated.
"Xiaoxue can sleep in the living room. You don’t come home often anyway since you live in the dormitory."
With those words from her mother, she slept in the living room for three years.
She had no desk, so she did her homework hunched over a stool.
She had no wardrobe, so she kept her clothes in a urea bag, tucked away in the corner of the living room behind the curtains.
Even then, Jiang's mother would occasionally see it and scold her for cluttering up the living room, saying her things made the space messy.
She grew quieter, less talkative, more withdrawn—except for her grades, which remained excellent.
She remembered what drove her: to get into university and leave this place.
Her wings were not yet strong; she needed to bide her time.
It was true in her past life, and it was true now.
During this time, Aunt Jiang came with her two sons. Upon learning that Jiang Xue really intended to go out and work, she gave up on the idea of having her mother-in-law continue looking after the children.
At the same time, seeing Jiang Xue about to leave for work, she felt a secret delight, as her own daughter—the one she was so proud of—had just been admitted to university. Though her daughter only got into a second-tier college, compared to the second brother’s daughter who hadn’t even finished junior high, Aunt Jiang felt she was a cut above the second brother’s family.
Her elder son was over two years older than Jiang Xue. He had started school early but failed to get into high school after junior high, so he repeated a year from the first year of junior high. He would be starting ninth grade this term, in the same grade as her younger son and Jiang Xue.
Her younger son had always done well in school, so she didn’t need to worry too much about him.
Even if he didn’t get into the top high school, he should have no problem getting into the second-best one.
Both her children had decent grades—at least they would have the chance to attend high school. Having suffered from not getting an education herself, she was determined not to let her children follow in her footsteps.
She would stay home for another year. Once the children started boarding at high school, she would be free to go out and earn money.
She glanced somewhat disdainfully at the second brother’s family.
In recent years, the second brother’s family had relied on their business to earn more than hers. Their house was newer and bigger, and they carried an air of superiority in their words.
What good was being good-looking if you had such short-sightedness? Just wait—her children would surely do better in life than the second brother’s family.
After Aunt Jiang left, Jiang's mother spat on the ground. Looking at her son and daughter sitting side by side doing their homework, she said earnestly, "You two study hard. When you go to university, you must do better than your eldest sister. Bring honor to your mother."
Jiang Chao and Jiang Lu nodded obediently.
"Jiang Xue, you too. Work hard and don’t do anything that would make people look down on you or embarrass me."
Jiang Xue nodded half-heartedly as well.
Perhaps it was because she had agreed to go out and work, or perhaps she had been frightened by the act of killing a chicken, but over the past two days, Jiang's mother had suddenly quieted down. She no longer caused trouble for her and even softened her attitude, pulling her aside to offer words of comfort in an attempt to mend their relationship.
Jiang Xue was busy reviewing the knowledge she had previously learned and making plans for the future. She had no time to play along with her mother's act. Seeing that Jiang Xue remained unmoved, Jiang's mother felt she was ungrateful and began to scold her while tearfully complaining.
"I always knew raising you was useless. You blame me for being biased, but just look at how you treat your own mother."
"Don’t keep saying you raised me. I’m fifteen this year—how many years did you actually raise me? I grew up on my own!" Distracted by the noise, Jiang Xue stopped what she was doing and argued back.