As Xie Yuheng’s words fell, Madam Lin looked at him in surprise.
Regarding his refusal to take concubines, she suspected her son was still largely in love with Li Mingrou. The two had grown up together; her son was cold by nature and only ever showed warmth toward Mingrou. It was truly a pity.
She could only sigh. “I don’t care what you’re thinking; I only wish to hold a grandson as soon as possible.”
Xie Yuheng pursed his lips. As he walked out, he gave an order to his attendant to send some medicinal supplements to Ji Hanyi’s quarters.
He knew he shouldn’t have criticized her the moment he arrived the previous night. He had ultimately wronged her and intended to return home early that evening to accompany her.
It only then occurred to Xie Yuheng that he had been so busy lately that he hadn’t shared an evening meal with Ji Hanyi in a long time.
***
In the morning, Ji Hanyi went to pay her respects to her mother-in-law as usual.
Seeing the faint trace of illness on Ji Hanyi’s face, Madam Lin sighed and patted her hand. “This bout of illness is quite severe. You don’t need to come and attend to me for the next few days.”
“I have maids and nannies to look after me here, and Mingrou often comes to keep me company. You should focus on nursing yourself back to health first.”
“Only when your body is restored can you conceive a child sooner.”
Ji Hanyi lowered her voice and replied, “Serving Mother is my duty.”
Madam Lin couldn’t help but study Ji Hanyi’s features. Although she looked pale from illness, her snow-white skin and red lips possessed a soft, gentle allure, and her figure was petite and graceful. Logically, with such looks, her son shouldn’t have neglected her so much. She couldn’t understand why Ji Hanyi had yet to conceive.
Physicians and imperial doctors had visited many times, yet they found nothing wrong.
Madam Lin covered her mouth with a handkerchief and coughed, telling Ji Hanyi to withdraw lest she catch the illness as well.
As Ji Hanyi stepped out from behind the curtain, she asked the nannies waiting outside a few routine questions about Madam Lin’s condition and noted some important dietary matters before leaving.
Just as she stepped out, she ran into the Second Madam entering. The Second Madam glanced at Ji Hanyi, offered a few superficial words of concern with a smile, and went inside.
Ji Hanyi looked back at the Second Madam’s eager silhouette before turning away.
She knew that during the days her mother-in-law was ill, the management of the household accounts and expenditures had been handed over to the Second Madam.
In her mother-in-law’s heart, she, the daughter-in-law, was always an outsider. Madam Lin would rather entrust the accounts to the second branch of the family than ever consider her.
Yet, when it came to organizing banquets and arrangements, she was expected to exert every effort.
Ji Hanyi let these thoughts drift through her mind and then dismissed them. There was no end to tallying every slight; in the end, none of it would have much to do with her anyway.
***
After breakfast, Ji Hanyi had the carriage prepared at the front gate. After a brief preparation, she headed out.
As she boarded the carriage, the scenery outside the curtain began to retreat. The world blurred past like a revolving lantern, but Ji Hanyi’s heart slowly relaxed an inch. She tightened her grip on the gilded bronze hand warmer.
When the servants at the front gate of the Gu residence saw the Xie family carriage, they were momentarily stunned. They quickly hurried over to lift the curtain and set down the footstool for Ji Hanyi.
The servant’s face was bright with joy. “The Young Miss has returned!”
Ji Hanyi smiled and nodded, lifting her skirt as she descended from the carriage.
By the time she reached the main hall, there were only a few people present—mostly the younger generation of the Gu family. Seeing Ji Hanyi arrive, they flocked to her, asking about her life in the Xie household.
The third daughter, Gu Yunxiang, whispered to Ji Hanyi, “Grandmother only recovered from her illness a short while ago, but now she’s worried sick over the matter with Third Brother. Cousin, you should go see her in a moment.”
In this cold weather, everyone seemed to be falling ill, and then there was the trouble with Cousin Xun.
There was sadness in Gu Yunxiang’s voice. Ji Hanyi simply squeezed her hand. She had come specifically to speak with her grandmother about Cousin Xun and to check on her grandmother and mother.
Outside, Gu Yan hurried in. As he crossed the threshold, he saw the graceful figure dressed in misty purple sitting in a chair.
His palms broke into a sweat, and his hurried pace suddenly slowed. He didn’t dare look her in the eyes; only the swaying jade at her ears flashed before him. He opened his mouth, a thin layer of sweat covering his back, nearly forgetting the sound of his own voice. “Cousin Hanyi.”
Ji Hanyi looked at Gu Yan. She hadn’t seen him in quite some time. At a glance, he seemed to have grown much taller—handsome, upright, and seemingly much more stable. He was no longer the Gu Yan of her memories who loved to play tricks on her.
She looked up and smiled, her voice as soft as a falling feather. “Cousin Yan, have you been well lately?”
Gu Yan clenched his hands, his heart drumming in his chest. He nodded quickly. “Everything is well.”
However, as soon as the words left his mouth, his cheeks flushed hot.
At that moment, the First Madam and Second Madam of the Gu family entered.
The Second Madam looked haggard, her eyes rimmed with red, clearly still consumed with worry for her son.
The First Madam was as dignified as ever. Seeing Ji Hanyi, her expression showed no great joy; her gaze was lukewarm as she said, “Why didn’t you send a formal notice before coming?”
Ji Hanyi stood up with a smile. “I came in a hurry and didn’t consider the formalities. It won’t happen again.”
As she spoke, she walked over and smiled at the little fellow held by her cousin-in-law standing beside her Eldest Aunt. She reached out and placed a melon-seed crisp into the small, chubby hand. “I haven’t seen Lin-er in months; he seems to have grown taller.”
As Ji Hanyi’s words fell, a sudden silence filled the room.
No one responded.
Only Gu Yan, standing behind the First Madam, kept his gaze fixed on Ji Hanyi’s serene figure, looking as if he wanted to say something.
He wanted to speak up for her, but when his eyes fell upon the gentle smile on her beautiful face, he felt a surge of hot blood, making his heart race and his eyes redden.
It felt as if a wad of cotton was stuck in his throat, unable to go up or down. He could only clench his fists.
*Must these grudges be remembered for a lifetime?*
The only sound in the hall was the giggling of little Lin-er, who had received his treat. A three-year-old child understood nothing of these tensions.
The Second Madam approached Ji Hanyi, her eyes bloodshot. She grabbed Ji Hanyi’s wrist tightly and asked, “Have you spoken to Yuheng about Xun-er’s matter?”
“Tell him to help him. The Gu family will be grateful.”
“Whatever money he needs, the Gu family is willing to pay.”
The Second Madam began to sob. “The Gu family has come to this… your two uncles were dragged down by your father, and your Second Uncle is gone. Now that your cousin is in trouble, can you really just stand by and watch?”
“My Xun-er was a top student every time at the Imperial Academy! He was only a year away from a bright future. Can you bear to watch him be tortured to death by those people in the Northern Imperial Prison?”
Sharp fingernails dug into Ji Hanyi’s wrist, the pain cold and piercing. All eyes in the room were on her, everyone pinning their hopes on her.
Ji Hanyi could say nothing. She could only offer soft comfort. “Cousin will be fine.”
But the Second Madam’s sharp voice lashed out at her, the grief-stricken woman having lost nearly all reason. “How can he be fine?! Can Xun-er endure the torture devices of the Imperial Prison?”
“Every day you delay is another day of suffering for my Xun-er.”
“If you had a heart, if you felt any guilt toward the Gu family, you would have saved your cousin long ago!”
Ji Hanyi closed her eyes, the heavy weight in her heart pressing down until she could hardly breathe.
She had always suppressed these emotions well, but now, facing her aunt’s bloodshot eyes and understanding her grief, she said softly, “I am also anxious about Cousin Xun’s situation. I will do my best, but haste cannot solve this immediately. Let me go see Grandmother first.”
The others finally stepped in to persuade the Second Madam to calm down. After a long while, she finally released her grip on Ji Hanyi’s wrist.
As she stepped out of the main hall, Ji Hanyi looked down at her wrist. The bright red finger marks filled her with a sense of profound exhaustion.
In the past, her two maternal aunts had been extremely kind to her.
Everything changed the year her father met his downfall.
At that time, her father, Ji Jing, was the Minister of War. For two years, the barbarians had frequently raided Liaoxi, and the generals sent to defend the border suffered defeat after defeat. In less than a year, over two hundred forts were pillaged.
Her father had recommended the then Vice Minister of War as the regional commander, along with several other generals—all men her father trusted. It should have been a victory, but the rear’s pay and provisions were not delivered in time. Furthermore, a military vice-commissioner who was at odds with her father, driven by a greedy desire for glory, launched an ill-advised advance. Pressured by the Grand Secretaries in the capital, they attacked when they shouldn’t have, leading to a disastrous defeat.
That defeat brought countless impeachments upon her father—accusations of forming cliques for private gain, corruption, and cronyism. It wasn’t her father’s failure, yet he was thrown into the great prison and sentenced for a major crime. The Ji household was confiscated.
Her two uncles, simply because they had been recommended by her father and were his relatives, were implicated as part of his faction and demoted to posts outside the capital.
Her Second Uncle had even died at his post.
After that, those who were once close to the Ji family severed all ties, fearing they would be dragged down as well.
Her maternal family had also fallen into chaos.
Even though five years had passed, these memories felt like they happened only yesterday.
In a single night, even the bonds of kinship had grown thin.
***
When she reached Ning’an Hall, a nanny was waiting at the gate. Seeing Ji Hanyi approach, the nanny hurried forward to welcome her. “The Young Miss is finally here! The Old Madam heard you were coming and has been asking for you constantly. She sent me here to wait.”
Ji Hanyi’s gaze steadied. She stepped into the outer hall.
A maid saw her and quickly lifted the curtain to the inner room.
Old Madam Gu was leaning against her bed. Seeing Ji Hanyi, she propped herself up and reached out. “Hanyi is here.”
Ji Hanyi hurried over to sit by the bed, letting her grandmother hold her hand tightly. “Is Grandmother feeling any better?” she asked with concern.
Old Madam Gu smiled. “Don’t worry about me. My health is fine.”
As she spoke, she looked at Ji Hanyi’s face. The pale complexion lacked color, her eyes held exhaustion, and there was a faint trace of illness. “Are you sick as well?” she asked, worried.
Ji Hanyi shook her head and smiled. “I just caught a bit of a chill coming in. I’ll be fine once I warm up.”
Old Madam Gu sighed. Looking down, she saw the red finger marks on Ji Hanyi’s wrist. On her flawless white skin, they looked exceptionally stark.
She looked up at Ji Hanyi with pity. “Did you see your two aunts first?”
Ji Hanyi nodded. “Second Aunt is worried about Cousin Xun.”
Old Madam Gu sighed heavily. “Those people in the Embroidered Uniform Guard are ruthless. Don’t blame your Second Aunt for being anxious.”
“The Gu family has declined now. Your uncle is still in a remote region, and there’s no telling when he can return.”
“Among the younger generation, only Yan-er and Xun-er show promise. Now that Xun-er is in trouble, help him if you can.”
Old Madam Gu reached out to stroke Ji Hanyi’s hair, her aged fingers brushing against her smooth face. Her eyes grew slightly red. “Hanyi, I know you are suffering too. You have no maternal family to back you up. You married into the Xie family, and they don’t necessarily treat you well.”
“Your two aunts are always resentful, blaming your father for what happened to your uncles and taking it out on you.”
“Don’t take it to heart. Regarding Xun-er’s matter, help if you can, but don’t ruin your relationship with Yuheng over it. Don’t make your life in the Xie family even harder.”
“I understand you. You’ve never been one to complain. I will handle your aunts; don’t make things difficult for yourself.”
“Whether Xun-er can get out or not, it is all fate. I only hope you live well in the Xie family.”
“Someone in the Gu family has to live a good life…”
These words made Ji Hanyi’s eyes well with tears. She lowered her head, and a single tear escaped, falling onto the embroidered pink-blue hibiscus flowers of her dress, blooming into a dark wet spot.
She blinked and took a deep breath, her sorrow surging forth. She leaned her head against Old Madam Gu’s shoulder, wanting to pour out her grievances, but in the end, she couldn’t say a word.
How could she say how miserable she was in the Xie family?
How could she say she had no certainty of saving Cousin Xun?
And how could she say that she and Xie Yuheng had long been like strangers? He had someone else in his heart. She had failed her grandmother; she hadn’t been a good wife in the Xie family. She intended to get a Divorce Agreement from Xie Yuheng.
But saying it all would only add to the suffering of others.
A warm hand settled on her back, gently comforting her. Ji Hanyi blinked through her tears and said in a raspy voice, “Grandmother, I want to divorce Xie Yuheng.”
“Grandmother, will you blame me?”
Old Madam Gu froze. Seeing the tearful light in Ji Hanyi’s eyes, her own tears of heartache spilled over. She pulled Ji Hanyi into her arms, stroking her hair. “My poor Hanyi has suffered in the Xie family.”
“How could I ever blame you?”
She patted Ji Hanyi’s back gently. “If that Xie boy is not good to you, it’s better to divorce early.”
“Don’t be afraid of anything. I will back you up. If the worst comes to worst, just come back home. Don’t suppress your feelings and take abuse in the Xie family.”
Ji Hanyi’s eyes were red, her voice thin and raspy. “Xie Yuheng never liked me. He won’t help me with Cousin Xun’s matter either.”
“I have to find another way to save him.”
Old Madam Gu looked at Ji Hanyi’s tear-reddened eyes, filled with pity and heartache. She wiped the tears away. “It is pitiful that you are suffering in the Xie family yet still have to worry about your cousin.”
“Hanyi, look after yourself first. I don’t blame you.”
“What happened to Xun-er is no one’s fault. Even if you can’t help, no one can blame you.”
“Don’t worry about your Second Aunt. I will handle her; she won’t be able to blame you.”
“As for the divorce, don’t tell your mother yet. Her illness has taken a turn for the worse. Let’s wait a while before telling her.”
The emotions she had suppressed for so long finally began to flow out slowly. Ji Hanyi looked at her grandmother’s silver hair, her tears unending. She buried herself in her grandmother’s embrace and let out a choked sob of agreement.