“Ren-kun held my hand today.”
Hearing those words through the speaker, Takumi didn’t answer right away. It was just past 11:00 PM on a weekday.
He had finished work, come home, taken a bath, and was ready to call it a night. Sitting beside his bed, he held his charging phone to his ear.
“Takumi-san?”
“I’m listening.”
“Could you sound a little less thrilled?”
“How am I supposed to react?”
“Normally?”
“Like, ‘Good for you’?”
“Yeah, exactly!”
Takumi stared up at the ceiling. “Good for you.”
“You so don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“Really?”
“Really, really.”
Mizuki chuckled over the line. They’d been dating for about ten days now, and the frequency with which Mizuki brought up Ren had only increased. What Ren said. Where they went. What they ate. What he said over LINE. Where they were going next.
Takumi knew almost all of it. It wasn’t that he wanted to know—he just knew because Mizuki kept talking about it.
“So, anyway…”
Apparently, she wasn’t done yet.
“Yeah?”
“After he grabbed my hand, he just wouldn’t let go.”
“Yeah.”
“Even after we reached the station.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know…” Mizuki’s voice dropped a bit. “It’s been a while since I felt like this, so I was kind of embarrassed.”
Takumi stayed silent. He could picture her face perfectly. Looking down slightly, but happy, with just the corners of her mouth curling into a smile. A face she never showed him.
“Mizuki.”
“Hmm?”
“Is that really something you should be telling me?”
Silence fell just for a few seconds.
“…Did you hate hearing that?”
Her voice was weaker than he expected. Takumi immediately regretted saying it.
“It’s not that I hate it…” He fumbled for the right words. “It’s just… I’m a guy, you know.”
“I know.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
Mizuki went quiet too. Takumi scratched his head. “When you tell me about holding hands with your boyfriend, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to respond.”
“I see.”
Her tone visibly deflated, which only made Takumi feel more flustered. He didn’t want to sound angry, nor did he want to tell her not to call him anymore. It was just that a small, dull ache was settling in his chest, and he had no idea how to explain it to her.
“I’m sorry,” Mizuki said.
“It’s not something you need to apologize for.”
“No, but you’re right.”
“Yeah.”
“After all, you’re in love with me, Takumi-san.”
Straight to the point.
“Hey…”
“What?”
“Could you maybe choose your words a little more carefully?”
“But it’s true, isn’t it?”
“It is, but still…”
Mizuki let out a soft chuckle. After that, silence settled over them once more.
“So… should I stop talking about Ren-kun from now on?”
Takumi couldn’t answer immediately. “I’m not telling you to stop completely.”
“Then where do we draw the line?”
“Do we really need to set up rules that specific?”
“Because I genuinely don’t know.”
Takumi let out a dry laugh. “I don’t know either.”
“Well, that leaves me in a tough spot.”
“I’m the one in a tough spot here.”
Mizuki laughed again. In the end, they kept talking until just before midnight.
After hanging up, Takumi placed his phone on his pillow. In the quiet room, her words continued to echo.
—After all, you’re in love with me, Takumi-san.
She knew. Mizuki was completely aware of it, and yet she still called him like this.
Takumi had no idea how he was supposed to take that.
The next day at noon.
Mizuki was sitting across from Chihiro in the university cafeteria.
“So, how are things going?” Chihiro asked.
“With what?”
“Saeki-kun.”
“Fun, plain and simple.”
“That’s it?”
“What are you expecting?”
“Have you kissed yet?”
Mizuki almost choked on her tea. “No!”
“What about holding hands?”
Mizuki fell silent. Chihiro smirked.
“So you did.”
“Shut up.”
“Mizuki, your face gives you away so easily.”
“It does not.”
“Oh, it totally does.”
Mizuki poked at her rolled omelet with her chopsticks. Just remembering it was enough to make her blush.
Yesterday, while walking to the station, Ren had casually taken her hand without saying a word. She had been startled at first, but she didn’t pull away. Ren’s hand was larger than she had imagined.
“Must be nice,” Chihiro sighed.
“What is?”
“Looks fun.”
“It is fun.”
“Do you like him?”
Mizuki paused to think for just a brief second. “Yeah.”
This time, she didn’t hesitate. She really did like him.
She felt happy whenever a LINE message came from Ren. On days they were set to meet, her mood was lifted right from the morning. She spent extra time choosing her outfit and worrying about her hair, and she caught herself constantly checking the date for their next hangout.
She figured this was what falling in love felt like.
“Speaking of which,” Chihiro said, “what about that older guy you mentioned before?”
“Takumi-san?”
“Yeah. Did you tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“That you got a boyfriend.”
“I did.”
“What did he say?”
“He congratulated me.”
Chihiro gave her an odd look. “Wait, wasn’t that guy into you?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t just say ‘yeah’ like it’s nothing!”
“What’s wrong?”
“How can you be so nonchalant about it?”
Mizuki stopped her chopsticks. “Isn’t it weirder to hide it?”
“Well, yeah, I guess…” Chihiro thought it over for a second. “Are you two still in touch?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you still meet up, just the two of you?”
“Like usual, yeah.”
Chihiro’s expression shifted. “Does your boyfriend know?”
“About Takumi-san?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve mentioned him.”
“Including the part where he’s in love with you?”
Mizuki didn’t answer right away. She hadn’t gone that far. “…I didn’t tell him that part.”
“Won’t Saeki-kun be uncomfortable with that?”
“Why would he be?”
“What do you mean, why?” Chihiro looked exasperated. “Wouldn’t you hate it if the roles were reversed?”
“Reversed?”
“If Saeki-kun had a female friend who was head over heels for him—and they called each other late at night or went out for meals alone together?”
Mizuki tried to picture it. Ren having a close female friend. That girl being in love with Ren, and Ren being fully aware of it. And despite that, they still met up alone and talked late into the night.
“…I might dislike that a little.”
“See?”
“But Takumi-san is different.”
“How is he different?”
When asked, Mizuki froze. How was he different?
Because he’s Takumi-san. She almost said it out loud before realizing that wasn’t an actual explanation.
“Because we’ve known each other for so long.”
“Is that all?”
“It’s not just that… Takumi-san is just Takumi-san.”
Chihiro chuckled softly. “That’s the most vague answer ever.”
“I’m serious, though!”
Mizuki couldn’t offer any further explanation, even to herself.
That evening.
When class ended and Mizuki stepped out of the room, Ren was waiting for her.
“Mizuki.”
She was getting a bit more used to hearing him call her by her first name now.
“Don’t you have work today?”
“Not until eight.”
“Then shouldn’t you be heading over?”
“I thought I’d see you for a bit first.”
She couldn’t help but feel a swell of happiness. “What’s that about?”
“I just wanted to see my girlfriend.” He said it so casually. Mizuki was hopelessly weak to that kind of sweetness.
“Do you have enough time?”
“I’ve got about an hour.”
“Wanna grab tea, then?”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“A little.”
“Let’s get something to eat.”
They walked into a nearby diner. As they ate, Ren asked, “Are you free this Saturday?”
“In the afternoon, yeah.”
“Let’s go see a movie.”
“What do you want to watch?”
“Whatever you want to see is fine with me.”
“What about you, Ren-kun?”
“I’m just going to be looking at you anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Creepy,” she teased.
“Ouch, harsh.”
Mizuki laughed, though her heart fluttered. Ren was smiling too.
“So I can really pick anything?”
“Go for it.”
“Even a romance movie?”
“I might fall asleep.”
“Then what’s the point?”
“You can just wake me up.”
“No way.”
Conversations like this were so effortless and fun. After finishing their meal, Mizuki walked with him toward his workplace.
As they were about to part ways, Ren took hold of her hand.
“Alright, I’m off.”
“Good luck at work.”
She tried to pull back gently, but Ren didn’t let go.
“What is it?”
“Just ten more seconds.”
“You’re gonna be late.”
“Ten seconds.”
“Are you a kid?”
“Count it down.”
“No way.”
Mizuki was grinning the whole time. In the end, Ren was the one who reluctantly released her hand.
“I’ll LINE you when I’m done.”
“Okay.”
Ren headed inside the shop. Mizuki stood there watching his back until he disappeared from view.
She was happy. Truly happy.
However, with the start of a romance came anxieties she had never experienced before.
Ren’s shift ended at 11:00 PM.
I’ll LINE you when I’m done, he had said. Mizuki waited at home.
11:15 PM. Nothing yet.
11:30 PM. Still nothing.
Maybe he’s busy clearing up, she thought.
11:45 PM. She checked her phone repeatedly, torn over whether she should message him first. But asking “Are you finished?” felt like she was being too overbearing.
Midnight passed. Still no word.
12:20 AM.
Mizuki lay in bed, opening her phone screen to her chat with Ren. She closed it, opened it again, then closed it once more.
It’s no big deal, she tried to tell herself. Maybe his shift ran long, or maybe he was chatting with his coworkers. That was completely normal.
Even so, she couldn’t settle down. Before she realized it, she had opened her chat with Takumi.
Are you awake?
She typed it out, then hesitated before sending it.
She remembered their conversation from last night.
—Is that really something you should be telling me?
Her finger froze. She erased the whole message and placed her phone face down.
She endured it for about five minutes before picking up her phone again.
Are you awake?
This time, she hit send.
It wasn’t marked as read right away.
12:31 AM. Marked as read.
I’m awake.
A surge of relief washed over Mizuki.
Can I call you?
A few seconds later:
Sure.
Mizuki dialed his number immediately.
“Hello?”
It was his usual voice. Just hearing it made the tension leave her shoulders.
“Sorry for calling so late.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing major, but…”
“Yeah?”
Mizuki hesitated slightly. “Well, Ren-kun said…”
She felt like the line went quiet for a fraction of a second, but Takumi still replied, “Yeah?”
“He said he’d LINE me when his shift ended, but he hasn’t messaged me yet.”
“What time was he supposed to finish?”
“At eleven.”
“It’s only been an hour and a half.”
“I know, but…”
“Maybe he’s just busy.”
“But he said he’d message right after.”
“Yeah.”
“Would it be too clingy if I messaged him first?”
Takumi went silent for a moment. “Why don’t you just send one?”
“Is that okay?”
“You’re his girlfriend, aren’t you?”
“I mean, yeah, but…”
“A simple ‘Is work done?’ wouldn’t be weird at all.”
Mizuki felt her worries ease. “I see.”
“Yeah.”
“If I were you, Takumi-san, would you hate getting a text like that?”
“Depends on who it’s from.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If it’s from someone you like, you’d be happy to get it, right?”
Mizuki went quiet. Takumi stayed silent too.
“…Okay, I’ll try sending one.”
“Go for it.”
“Thanks.”
“Is that all you called for?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Alright, I’m going to sleep then.”
“Wait!”
“What?”
“Stay on the line until he replies.”
Takumi didn’t answer right away.
“Please?”
“…Fine.”
“Thank you!”
Mizuki put the call on speaker and sent a message to Ren:
Are you done with work?
One minute passed. Two minutes. Still unread.
Takumi didn’t say a word.
“Maybe it was too clingy after all…”
“Don’t jump to conclusions after two minutes.”
“But he checks his phone, right?”
“Not if he’s still working.”
“He should be finished by now, though.”
“He might still be cleaning up.”
“You think so?”
“Just assume that’s what it is.”
Mizuki let out a small laugh. “You’re so easy to talk to at times like this, Takumi-san.”
“That’s a pretty lazy compliment.”
“I’m praising you, I swear!”
Just then, her screen lit up.
“Ah!”
“Did he reply?”
“Yeah.” It was from Ren.
Sorry! I went out to get food with the guys from work!
Followed immediately by:
Totally forgot to message you!
Mizuki felt a slight pang in her chest. He said he’d message as soon as he finished…
Still, knowing the reason brought a sense of relief.
“He said he went out for food with his coworkers.”
“I see.”
“And that he completely forgot to text me.”
“Well, problem solved then.”
“Yeah.”
After a short pause, Takumi spoke up. “Alright, I’m going to sleep for real now.”
“Yeah. Thanks, and sorry for bothering you.”
“Good night.”
“Good night.”
The call disconnected. Mizuki replied to Ren:
I see! Good work today.
Read instantly.
I’m really sorry.
It’s fine!
Are you mad?
I’m not mad at all.
Should I call you now?
Mizuki hesitated for a second.
Tomorrow is fine!
Got it. Good night.
Good night.
She put her phone down. The anxiety from earlier had almost completely evaporated.
Meanwhile, Takumi lay in bed in his dark room.
He couldn’t sleep.
Mizuki had felt anxious. She had called him. He had listened to her. Mizuki felt relieved. And then Ren had finally replied.
His job was done. The whole sequence of events felt agonizingly clear to him.
The next morning, Takumi headed to the office operating on very little sleep.
During his lunch break, a message arrived from Nao:
Free after work today?
What for?
Food.
Sure.
That evening, they sat across from each other in an izakaya. They were supposed to be talking about work, but halfway through, Nao looked at him and said, “You look exhausted.”
“Didn’t sleep much.”
“What were you up to?”
“On the phone.”
“With who?”
Takumi didn’t answer. Nao set her chopsticks down.
“Mizuki-chan?”
“…Yeah.”
“Until what time?”
“Just before 1:00 AM.”
The warmth drained from Nao’s face. “She got a boyfriend, didn’t she?”
“She did.”
“Then what on earth do you two have to talk about late at night?”
Takumi took a sip of his beer. “She was anxious because her boyfriend hadn’t messaged her back.”
Nao fell completely silent for several seconds.
“Takumi.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m about to say something really blunt, okay?”
“You basically already are.”
“Is she actually turning to you to complain about her relationship with her boyfriend?”
“It wasn’t a big deal, she was just anxious.”
“It’s the exact same thing!”
“She was just worried, alright?”
Nao closed her eyes in frustration. “That’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
“Isn’t dealing with that anxiety the boyfriend’s job?”
Takumi didn’t answer. Nao pressed on.
“She gets anxious because her boyfriend doesn’t text her, gets comforted by the guy who’s in love with her, and then feels all better once her boyfriend finally replies?”
“You’re making it sound awful.”
“Because it is awful!”
“Nao.”
“I told you before, I really don’t like her way of doing things.”
The faint smile faded from Takumi’s face. “Don’t talk bad about Mizuki.”
“Then what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Isn’t this painful for you?”
Takumi went silent. Seeing his reaction, Nao softened her tone just a fraction.
“See?”
“…I’m doing this of my own free will.”
“What a convenient excuse.”
Takumi looked up at her.
“You can dismiss everything just by saying that,” Nao said quietly. “‘I’m doing this because I want to. I’m doing this of my own free will. So Mizuki-chan isn’t doing anything wrong.’ Right?”
“That’s literally how it is.”
“Then let me ask you this.” Nao looked him straight in the eyes. “Once Mizuki-chan and Ren-kun are happy together… can you really keep doing this forever?”
Takumi had no answer for her.
A few days later, on Saturday.
Mizuki went to see a movie with Ren.
Halfway through, the plot of the movie completely flew out of her head. In the dim theater, sitting side by side, Ren’s hand brushed against hers. Then, his fingers gently intertwined with hers. Just that touch made her heart pound wildly.
After stepping out of the theater, Ren asked, “Was it good?”
“Yeah!”
“You definitely weren’t watching halfway through, were you?”
“I was too!”
“Oh yeah? What happened at the end then?”
“That’s…”
Ren chuckled. “See?”
“You weren’t watching either, Ren-kun!”
“I was watching you.”
“That’s even worse!”
They walked side by side, laughing together. After grabbing dinner, they headed toward the station, taking a quiet, dimly lit path with few pedestrians.
Ren suddenly stopped in his tracks. Mizuki stopped too.
“What is it?”
“Mizuki.”
“Hmm?”
Ren stepped a little closer. She realized what was about to happen. She didn’t try to run away.
His face drew near, and Mizuki closed her eyes.
Their lips touched. It was a brief, gentle kiss.
When he pulled back, Mizuki found herself unable to look him directly in the eyes.
“Your face is so red.”
“Be quiet.”
“You’re cute.”
“Seriously, be quiet!”
Ren laughed, and Mizuki ended up laughing too, her heart swelling with emotion.
On the train ride home, Mizuki caught her reflection in the window. Her cheeks were still flushed.
She opened her phone. A message from Ren had already arrived.
I didn’t want to send you home today.
Mizuki smiled.
Please send me home properly.
Next time, no guarantees.
Scary.
Do you hate the thought of it?
Mizuki thought about it for a brief moment.
I don’t hate it.
Sent. Her heart skipped another fast beat.
Returning to her chat list, Takumi’s name sat a little further down.
Normally, she would have wanted to tell him everything that happened today—about the movie, about Ren, and about their kiss.
Yet, Mizuki’s finger wouldn’t move.
—Is that really something you should be telling me?
Takumi’s voice echoed in her mind.
“…I shouldn’t tell him this, right?” she muttered softly to herself, locking her phone screen.
Mizuki didn’t realize it yet, but it was a tiny shift. For the very first time, there was something she chose not to share with Takumi—the one person she had always told everything to.
And Takumi, too, noticed that no messages came from Mizuki that night.
At 11:00 PM, Takumi sat on his sofa with the TV humming in the background. His phone lay on the table, completely silent.
He checked the screen a few times. If she doesn’t message me, that’s fine.
Mizuki was having a good time with her boyfriend. That was normal. In fact, this was how things should be.
Or so Takumi told himself.
Midnight passed, and ultimately, no text arrived from Mizuki.
Takumi switched off the TV. On his way to the bedroom, he picked up his phone and opened his chat with Mizuki.
Their last exchange was three days ago.
See you later!
It ended with that message from Mizuki.
Takumi stared at the screen for a while, then closed it without typing a single word.
He felt lonely. But at the same time, he thought… This is for the best.
Mizuki had a boyfriend now. Naturally, she would need him less and less.
That was the best possible outcome.
At this point in time, Takumi genuinely believed that.