Mizuki stopped reaching out to him. To be precise, she hadn’t stopped completely.
It was just less frequent than before. The messages that used to arrive almost daily—
【 So today… 】
【 Listen to this! 】
【 Are you free right now? 】
—now had gaps of two or three days between them. The phone calls dwindled as well.
If Takumi sent a text, she would reply. There were times when Mizuki initiated the conversation too.
However, the frequency had clearly shifted. Takumi felt a pang of loneliness because of it.
At the same time, he also felt relieved. This was what was normal.
Mizuki had a boyfriend. If something happened, she would talk to Ren.
If something happy occurred, she would share it with Ren. On her days off, she would meet up with Ren.
As for Takumi, he was just a friend, so staying a little bit at a distance was just right.
“Lately, you don’t check your phone much, do you?”
During lunch break, a coworker sitting opposite him spoke up. Takumi looked up.
“Really?”
“Before, it used to go off all the time.”
“I don’t look at it during work hours, you know.”
“I mean during lunch break and stuff.”
Takumi glanced down at his smartphone. There were no notifications.
“Must be your imagination,” he said, slipping it back into his pocket.
Around that time, Mizuki was spending more and more time with Ren.
It had been a month since they started dating. They saw each other at university.
When lectures ended, they walked back together. On days off, they went out.
She had gotten more used to kissing than at first. There were times she went over to Ren’s apartment too.
Just sitting side by side watching a movie was enjoyable. Ren was as gentle and sweet as ever.
“You look cute today.”
“Don’t you mean ‘today too’?”
When Mizuki said that, Ren would laugh. “Are you really saying that about yourself?”
Even those small back-and-forth exchanges were fun.
However, tiny moments of unease were gradually multiplying. Ren’s replies were becoming slower.
Before they started dating, a response would take an hour at most. Lately, three or four hours would pass without a word.
Sometimes, he would mark a text as read but send no reply at all. At first, she didn’t mind it.
There’s no need to text on LINE every day. Ren has his own life too.
That was what she told herself.
Friday.
Mizuki had been in a slightly good mood since morning. She had made plans to go out for dinner with Ren tonight.
University finished a little past 4:00 PM. Their meeting time was 6:00 PM.
There wasn’t enough time to head back home first. She killed time with Chihiro at a cafe near campus, fixing her makeup once 5:00 PM passed.
“A date?” Chihiro asked, watching Mizuki look in the mirror.
“Yep.”
“Must be nice.”
“Why don’t you get a boyfriend too, Chihiro?”
“Don’t make it sound so easy.”
Mizuki laughed. She checked her smartphone.
No message from Ren. The meeting spot was already set, so it wasn’t a problem.
5:40 PM. Mizuki parted ways with Chihiro.
She arrived at the meeting spot ten minutes early. Ren wasn’t there.
Mizuki waited while looking at her smartphone. 6:00 PM.
He didn’t show up. 6:05 PM.
【 I’m here! 】 she sent. It didn’t get marked as read.
6:15 PM. She began to feel a little anxious.
She hesitated over whether to call him, but thought it was still a bit too early. 6:20 PM.
A message came. From Ren.
【 Sorry. 】
Followed by:
【 Can’t make it today. 】
Mizuki stared at the screen.
【 What happened? 】 she sent immediately. A reply came about five minutes later.
【 Someone at my shift called in sick, so I got asked to cover. 】
Mizuki let out a breath. It can’t be helped, she thought.
【 I see. It’s okay! 】 she sent.
【 Really sorry. 】
【 Next time, okay? 】
【 I’ll make it up to you. 】
【 Okay. 】
The exchange ended there. Mizuki put her smartphone back into her bag.
There were crowds of people in front of the station. Friday evening.
People waiting for their meetups. Couples walking arm in arm.
Office workers heading to drinking parties. It felt as though she was the only one whose plans had suddenly vanished.
I should just go home. It was as simple as that.
And yet, she had gone through the trouble of fixing her hair. She had picked out nice clothes.
She had been looking forward to this since noon.
“…Nothing I can do about it, I guess,” she muttered to no one in particular, starting to walk toward the station.
On the way, she passed by several restaurants. She considered grabbing a bite alone before heading home, but she wasn’t really in the mood.
She pulled out her smartphone. She thought about contacting Chihiro.
However, Chihiro had mentioned she was having dinner with her family tonight. Another friend? They might already have plans.
Her fingers paused.
She scrolled down a little. Takumi Aizawa.
Mizuki stared at the name for a moment. Lately, she hadn’t been in touch with him much.
The reason was simple: she had been spending most of her time with Ren. That was all.
Mizuki typed out a message.
【 Takumi-san, are you free today? 】
Send. It wasn’t marked as read right away.
Mizuki waited while walking. About three minutes later, it was marked as read.
【 At work. 】
Mizuki felt a brief pang of disappointment. It was only natural—even though it was Friday, it was still before 6:30 PM.
【 What time do you finish? 】
A reply arrived shortly after.
【 Probably around 7:00. 】
【 Want to go grab dinner? 】
After sending it, Mizuki stopped in her tracks. Was this a bit much of me? she wondered.
Her contact with him had decreased ever since she got a boyfriend. Yet the moment her plans got canceled, she was inviting him out.
If Nao saw this, she’d probably have something to say about it. That thought crossed her mind for a split second.
A reply:
【 Sure. 】
Mizuki let out a sigh of relief.
【 I’ll wait at the station. 】
【 You can go into a restaurant first if you want. 】
【 I’ll wait. 】
【 Got it. 】
Mizuki locked her smartphone screen.
7:10 PM.
When Takumi headed toward the station, Mizuki was standing near a pillar by the ticket gates. He recognized her instantly, even from a distance.
As Takumi walked toward her, a thought crossed his mind: Her outfit is nicer than usual today. Her hair is curled, too.
Not for the sake of meeting me. He realized that right away as well.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
Mizuki looked up. “Ah, good work today!”
“What do you want to eat?”
“Anything’s fine.”
“That’s the most unhelpful answer.”
“You decide, Takumi-san.”
“Ramen then.”
“Not today.”
“See, ‘anything’ wasn’t fine after all.”
Mizuki laughed. Seeing that smile, Takumi couldn’t help but smile too.
In the end, the two of them went into an izakaya near the station. Because it was Friday, it was crowded.
Only counter seats were available, so they sat down side by side.
“So?” Takumi asked while opening the menu.
“What?”
“Getting dinner so suddenly.”
“No real reason.”
“That’s unusual for you.”
Mizuki hesitated for a moment. “I actually had plans with Ren-kun, but…”
As expected. Keeping his eyes on the menu, Takumi simply replied, “Yeah.”
“Apparently someone at his job called in sick, so he had to cover the shift.”
“I see.”
“So I ended up free.”
Takumi glanced at Mizuki for a brief instant. “I see.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What’s with that reaction?”
“Am I… a benchwarmer substitute?”
He had meant it as a joke. Mizuki fell silent for a moment.
“…Don’t put it like that.”
Her voice was far more serious than he had expected. Takumi was slightly startled.
“Sorry.”
“It’s not like you’re a substitute or anything.”
“I get it.”
“Then don’t say that.”
“My bad.”
Mizuki dropped her eyes to the menu. The mood turned a bit awkward.
They called the server and ordered drinks and food. Takumi got a beer, and Mizuki ordered oolong tea.
Even after the drinks arrived, Mizuki still looked a bit sulky.
Takumi spoke up. “Mizuki.”
“What?”
“I’m really sorry.”
“I’m not mad.”
“You are mad.”
“I’m not.”
“Then look over here.”
Mizuki turned her eyes to Takumi. “What?”
“That’s an angry face.”
“Quiet.”
Takumi laughed. Mizuki let out a tiny laugh too.
Just like that, the air cleared. The food arrived, and the two of them began to eat.
For a while, they talked about university. Job hunting. Seminars.
Movies they had seen recently. The new hires at Takumi’s company.
Even without mentioning Ren, there was no shortage of things to talk about. Mid-meal, Mizuki realized something:
It’s so easy. As expected, being with Takumi was effortless.
She didn’t have to rack her brain for topics. Silence didn’t feel uncomfortable. He wouldn’t get mad if she touched her smartphone while eating.
Even if her hair got messed up, it didn’t matter.
“Takumi-san.”
“Yeah?”
“Do I look cute today?”
Takumi’s chopsticks came to a stop. “What’s this all of a sudden?”
“Just answer me.”
Takumi looked at Mizuki. “Guess you look cute.”
“How half-hearted.”
“You’re cute.”
“Really?”
“Why are you making me double-check?”
Mizuki laughed. “I was supposed to meet Ren-kun today, so I put a bit of effort into dressing up.”
“Is that so?”
“Stop giving me that reaction!”
“What do you want me to say then?”
They both laughed again.
After a while, Mizuki’s smartphone screen lit up. Mizuki checked it immediately. It was Ren.
【 Starting my shift now. 】
【 Really sorry about today. 】
Mizuki replied: 【 Good luck with work! 】
She set her phone down. Takumi didn’t ask anything.
“Takumi-san.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you feel lonely?”
“About what?”
“I haven’t really been in touch much lately, right?”
Takumi was slightly surprised. “So you were self-aware?”
“Of course, I was.”
“Then it’s fine.”
“What do you mean, ‘it’s fine’?”
“You got a boyfriend, so that’s only normal.”
Mizuki took a sip of her oolong tea. “Is it really?”
“Of course, it is.”
“Are you fine with that, Takumi-san?”
Takumi set his beer glass down. “What are you trying to ask me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then I don’t know either.”
Mizuki let out a small laugh, but her gaze remained fixed on her glass.
“I’d hate it… if we stopped seeing each other, Takumi-san.”
Takumi’s heart gave a sudden stir. Yet he didn’t let it show on his face.
“We can still meet up.”
“Even if I have a boyfriend?”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“I guess so.”
Mizuki smiled, looking somewhat relieved. Watching that smile, Takumi told himself once again:
Friends. That’s good enough.
They finished their meal and stepped out of the izakaya.
“Thanks for the food!”
“I never said I was treating you.”
“Eh?”
“Go halves.”
“Even though you’re older than me?”
“I’m treating you today because I’m a working adult and you’re a university student, but since you phrased it like that, you’re paying next time.”
“Stingy.”
“Why you…”
They walked toward the station, laughing. On the way, Mizuki spoke up.
“I’m really glad you were here today, Takumi-san.”
As Takumi walked, he replied, “Well, thanks for that.”
“Because walking home alone would’ve felt lonely.”
At those words, Takumi’s footsteps slowed down just a fraction. Mizuki didn’t notice.
“Can I invite you out suddenly again?”
Takumi looked straight ahead. “If I’m free.”
“You always come anyway,” Mizuki giggled.
Takumi said nothing.
After parting ways with Mizuki at the station, Takumi stood alone on the platform. Waiting for the train, he checked his smartphone.
There was a message from Nao:
【 Want to go for a drink today? 】
The timestamp was 6:48 PM—right before he joined up with Mizuki. Takumi had only just noticed it.
【 Sorry. I was eating dinner with Mizuki. 】 he sent.
It was marked as read immediately.
A reply:
【 I see. 】
That was all. He had a bad feeling about it.
The following afternoon, Takumi was called out by Nao.
“What’s up?” he asked as soon as he sat down at the cafe. Nao was sipping her coffee.
“Did you go out for dinner with Mizuki-chan yesterday?”
“Yeah.”
“What about her boyfriend?”
“Work shift.”
Nao’s brow twitched. “Was Mizuki-chan originally planning to meet her boyfriend?”
“Apparently so.”
“Did he cancel on her?”
“Someone called in sick, so he had to cover.”
Nao remained silent. Seeing her face, Takumi spoke up.
“If you have something to say, just say it.”
“I do.”
“Go ahead.”
Nao set her cup down. “That’s what I dislike about this.”
“About what?”
“The fact that because she couldn’t see her boyfriend, she chose Takumi.”
Takumi fell silent.
“Because she got lonely, she chose Takumi.”
“We just had dinner together.”
“I know.”
“Then—”
“Takumi.” Nao’s voice grew slightly firmer. “If Mizuki-chan didn’t feel anything for you at all, I wouldn’t go this far.”
Takumi knitted his brows. “She doesn’t feel anything for me.”
“That’s not true.” Nao shook her head. “To that girl, I think you are extremely important.”
It was an unexpected statement. Takumi stayed silent.
“I think she truly treasures you. She trusts you, and I think she loves you in her own way.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Because the kind of love is different.”
All expression vanished from Takumi’s face. Nao continued:
“The love she feels for a boyfriend and the love she feels for you are two completely different things.”
“I know that.”
“Do you really?”
“I confessed and got rejected, so yeah, I know.”
“Then you should understand.” Nao looked at Takumi. “When it comes to the person she wants to have romance with, Mizuki-chan chose Ren-kun.”
“Yeah.”
“But when she wants peace of mind, she chooses Takumi.”
Takumi said nothing.
“To Mizuki-chan, that’s probably an extraordinarily happy state to be in,” Nao said quietly. “She gets to have the heart-fluttering excitement with her boyfriend, while the person who gives her security stays by her side as a friend.”
Takumi lowered his gaze.
“But,” Nao paused briefly, “what about you, Takumi?”
“Me?”
“What are you getting out of this?”
Takumi couldn’t answer.
“As long as Mizuki is smiling, that’s good enough,” he finally said.
Nao stared at Takumi for a long moment. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Then if Mizuki-chan spent two hours yesterday talking about how ‘super happy’ she is with her boyfriend, would you have been completely fine with that?”
Takumi went quiet.
“You wouldn’t be fine, right?”
“…”
“Takumi.” Nao softened her voice just a little. “Being gentle and treating yourself carelessly are two very different things.”
That was the one thing Takumi couldn’t find an answer to return.
Meanwhile, that same night, Mizuki was on the phone with Ren.
“I’m really sorry about yesterday.”
“It’s fine now.”
“You aren’t mad?”
“I told you, I’m not mad.”
“Then let’s meet up tomorrow.”
“What about your shift?”
“Day off.”
“Then let’s meet.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Anything’s fine.”
“Want to come over to my place?”
Mizuki fell silent for a second. “…Sure.”
She could feel the hint of a smile in Ren’s voice over the line.
“Then I’ll come pick you up around noon.”
“Okay.”
Hanging up, Mizuki lay down on her bed.
She was happy. To make up for not being able to see each other yesterday, they could meet tomorrow. Just that thought brought her mood right back up.
The next day.
Mizuki went to Ren’s apartment. They ate lunch together and watched a movie.
By the middle of it, they were barely watching the movie at all. Ren touched Mizuki’s hair.
He kissed her. Pulled away for a moment, then kissed her again.
Mizuki didn’t pull back. Wrapped in Ren’s arms, her heart beat frantically.
It was a feeling she had never once experienced when she was with Takumi. This is what it means to be in love, Mizuki thought to herself.
In the late afternoon. Ren’s smartphone rang several times.
At first, she didn’t mind it. On the third time, Mizuki asked, “Don’t you need to answer that?”
“It’s fine.” Ren placed his phone face down.
“Who is it?”
“Just someone from work.”
“Did something happen?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Ren pulled Mizuki close into his arms again. Just then, the smartphone vibrated once more.
The screen lit up for a brief second. Mizuki hadn’t meant to peek.
Yet, she saw it. It was a woman’s name.
【 Mai 】
A portion of the message was visible too:
【 Yesterday was— 】
That was as much as she could read before Ren picked up the smartphone right away.
“What’s wrong?” Mizuki asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Is that a woman?”
“Just someone from my shift.”
“Her name is Mai?”
“Yeah.” Ren answered casually.
“The person you were working with yesterday?”
“Yeah.”
Mizuki recalled yesterday. He had suddenly been called in to cover a shift. Afterwards, Ren had mentioned going out for food with his coworkers.
“Did you eat together yesterday too?”
“Yeah, with everyone.”
“I see.”
That was all. It wasn’t anything strange.
Coworkers. It was only natural for there to be women among them.
Ren touched Mizuki’s cheek. “What, are you jealous?”
“I’m not.”
“Your face says otherwise.”
“I said I’m not!”
“You’re cute.”
He kissed her. Mizuki swallowed down the slight lingering trace of unease.
I’m overthinking it, she told herself.
That night. Returning home, Mizuki got into bed.
A message came from Ren: 【 Today was really fun. 】
【 Me too! 】 she replied. Then, she laid her phone down.
But she couldn’t fall asleep. Mai.
Just a coworker. She knew that.
And yet, the name wouldn’t leave her head.
It passed midnight. Mizuki picked up her smartphone, searching for Takumi’s name.
She opened the chat.
【 Are you awake? 】
She typed that far. Her fingers stilled.
Yesterday, because she couldn’t see Ren, she invited Takumi out. Today, she met with Ren.
And now, because she was anxious about Ren, she was trying to talk to Takumi about it.
Mizuki remembered Takumi’s words from yesterday:
—Am I a benchwarmer substitute?
Her chest throbbed with a faint ache.
“That’s not it,” she whispered in her empty room. Takumi wasn’t a substitute for anyone.
Ren and Takumi were completely different. That’s why they couldn’t be compared.
That was what she thought. And yet…
Mizuki erased the typed text. She laid her smartphone face down.
Five minutes. Ten minutes.
She couldn’t sleep. She picked it up once more.
This time, she sent only:
【 Takumi-san 】
After a short moment, it was marked as read.
【 Yeah? 】
Mizuki stared at the screen. She didn’t know what to write.
【 It’s nothing. 】 she sent.
Takumi replied: 【 Really? 】
【 Yeah. 】
She thought it would end there. About a minute later, the smartphone vibrated once more.
【 If something’s wrong, I’ll listen. 】
The moment she saw those words, tears welled up in Mizuki’s eyes. She didn’t even understand the reason why herself.
It wasn’t that she was sad. Ren hadn’t done anything bad to her.
She was just anxious. Mizuki pressed the phone call button.
Once. Twice.
“Hello?”
Takumi’s voice came through. Mizuki went silent for a moment.
“What’s wrong?”
“…Takumi-san.”
“Yeah?”
“Am I…” She tried to speak, then stopped.
A message from a woman named Mai had arrived. That was all. She hated herself for getting anxious over something so trivial.
“Am I a high-maintenance girl?”
On the other end of the line, Takumi went silent for a moment.
“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
“I just… I’m starting to disgust myself.”
“Did something happen?”
Mizuki closed her eyes and began to speak.
Takumi listened without saying a word. About going to Ren’s room. About the message that came from a woman. About her being the person he worked with yesterday. About them apparently going out for food with everyone. About how she herself believed it wasn’t a suspicious story. About how, despite that, she couldn’t get it out of her mind. Everything.
When she finished speaking, Takumi remained quiet for a short while.
“Mizuki.”
“Yeah?”
“If that’s all it is, you can’t really draw any conclusions yet, right?”
“I guess so?”
“It’s totally normal to get a text from a coworker.”
“Yeah.”
“If it’s bothering you that much, you should just ask Ren.”
“Won’t he hate me for that?”
“If he hates you over something like that, then that’s a bigger problem in itself.”
Mizuki let out a soft laugh. “You really are like that, Takumi-san.”
“Like what?”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“You’re the one making it complicated, Mizuki.”
“I guess I am.”
Her heart felt just a little bit lighter.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“Takumi-san…” Mizuki rested her cheek against her pillow. “Even if I say high-maintenance stuff like this, you won’t grow to dislike me?”
Takumi didn’t answer right away.
“I won’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re Mizuki.”
That was all he said. Mizuki closed her eyes.
Deep inside her chest, something slowly unraveled and relaxed.
It was different from when Ren told her she was “cute.” Her heart didn’t race frantically the way it did when Ren held her in his arms.
It was simply reassuring. Even if she showed him her uncool, pathetic sides, she felt that with Takumi, it would be okay.
Just how immense that peace of mind was—Mizuki did not know yet.
And Takumi did not know either.
That the words he used that night to give Mizuki peace of mind— “Because you’re Mizuki”—would one day become the very words that tormented him the most.