For three long, agonizing minutes, absolute silence stretched across the sun-drenched shore of Aethel, save for the rhythm of the gentle tide lapping against the shore break.
Saira remained entirely motionless, her face buried squarely in the damp grit, her boots splayed uselessly, and her rear end sticking straight up into the air defiantly.
From his vintage point behind the coastal boulder, shaded by the cresting high tide, Eagre didn’t move an inch.
His webbed fingers gripped the jagged stone as his glowing emerald eyes scanned her prone form.
Eagre waited for what felt like five minutes,fully expecting her to spring back up with a wild, unhinged yell, brandishing another blunt object and threatening him.
But Saira remained completely motionless in that same ridiculous posture.
“Human?” Eagre called out tentatively.
His deep voice carried a rare thread of genuine caution, floating over the calm water.
“Saira?” No response.
Only a soft, pathetic bubble popped in the wet sand beneath her cheek as the shallow tide washed over her nose.
On her back, Crabby let out a single, indifferent click of his tiny claw before returning to his piece of kelp, completely unbothered by his host’s sudden loss of consciousness.
Slowly, cautiously, the ancient terror of the deep pushed himself away from his boulder.
He glided through the shallow, turquoise water, his shimmering tail fanning the sandy bottom until the cool tide lapped against his waist.
He crept onto the wet shore, keeping a safe distance as he leaned forward, using a long, claw-tipped finger to gingerly poke her shoulder.
She didn’t budge.
Only a soft, muffled groan escaped the sand beneath her mouth.
Crabby gave Eagre a single, indifferent click of his claw from his vintage point on her back before returning to his kelp.
Eagre looked from the unconscious, face-down human, to the ridiculously ungraceful pose she was frozen in, to the indestructible sea-coconut resting triumphantly beside her left boot.
A strange, bubbling sensation rose in his chest-something hot, sharp, and entirely unfamiliar that rattled against his ribs like a trapped current.
He tried to swallow it down, forcing his usual intimidating, predator scowl, but the sensation burst past his sharp teeth anyway.
Pfft.
A sharp undignified snort escaped his nose.
Then another.
Before he could stop himself, a deep, rich sound echoed across the empty beach-a full, booming laugh that started low in his chest and split the quiet afternoon wide open.
It was a sound his throat hadn’t made in what felt like centuries, rough around the edges from long disuse, but genuine and loud enough to startle a flock of white gulls from the nearby palm fronds.
Eagre doubled over in the shallow surf, clutching his stomach as he pointed a trembling, clawed finger at her helpless, upturned form.
The ancient, terrifying ocean predator was practically wheezing with delight.
“Serves you right!” Eagre wheezed, wiping a tear of pure, hysterical joy from his glowing eye.
He was practically breathless, towering over Saira’s prone, ridiculous form.”Serves you right, you ridiculous arrogant creature!
Defeated by a fruit!” He threw his head back, his broad chest expanding as another booming wave of laughter rattled through his ribs.
“The Great human architect!
The self proclaimed conqueror of Aethel, felled by a nut!” The karma on Aethel was nothing if not poetic.
He placed his hands on his hips, towering over her motionless body with a supreme, tyrannical satisfaction.
For days, this strange girl had invaded his territory, built atrocious structures on his beach, and treated his presence like a minor property inconvenience.
But now, nature had restored the balance.
Unfortunately for Eagre, the universe on Aethel possessed a very specific, dark sense of humour, and it was far from over.
High above the beach, nestled deep in the swaying canopy of the tallest palm tree, a gentle afternoon breeze blew through the fronds.
Deep within the green leaves, a thick, sun-baked stem gave out with a sudden, quite snap.
CRACK.
Eagre was mid-guffaw, his sharp teeth bared to the sky, when the shadow fell over his face.
He didn’t even have time to look up.
THWACK!
A second, equally dense, fully grown sea-coconut dropped straight out of the sky like a falling meteor, striking Eagre square on the very top of his skull.
The loud, booming laughter was cut off with the instaneous precision of a snapped harp string.
Eagre’s glowing eyes went completely wide, crossed slightly, and then rolled backward into his head.
His knees buckled instantly, his majestic tail fins went entirely limp, and gravity claimed its second victim of the afternoon.
POOF.
Eagre pitched straight forward, face-planting into the wet sand directly beside Saira with a heavy, humiliating thud.
When the cloud of sand and salt spray finally settled, the scene on the shore line was one of symmetrical, majestic tragedy.
Side by side in the shallow surf lay the fierce ocean predator and the fearless human owner of the island-both knocked completely unconscious, both buried face-first in the sand, and both with their rear ends sticking straight up into the warm afternoon air in identical, entirety absurd postures of defeat.
Between them, the two sea-coconut rolled together in the tide with a soft, hollow clack, resting side by side like twin battle trophies.
On Saira’s back, Crabby paused his afternoon meal.
He looked at Saira’s unmoving head, then looked over at Eagre’s massive, silent form.
With slow, deliberate precision, the little crab picked his way down Saira’s shoulder, stepped over her outstretched arm, and ambled onto Eagre’s unmoving tail.
He climbed up the smooth scales, scrambling up to the absolute highest point of Eagre’s upturned hips.
Once settled, Crabby adjusted his coconut-shell helmet, lifted his tiny claw, and took another slow, peaceful bite of his kelp.
The sun continued it’s slow descent toward the horizon, casting a warm, golden light over the quiet beach.
Saira and Eagre lay there, mirror images of knocked-out chaos.
Two victims of gravity, coconuts, and divine humour.
No sound but the gentle lapping of waves.
No movements except for a few seagulls flying overhead-probably laughing.