Dawn on Aethel did not start with gentle, romantic warmth.
It arrived with the crisp, relentless glare of a tropical sun burning away the morning haze, casting long golden light over a scene of absolute, unmitigated chaotic disaster.
The night tide had rolled in and out hours ago, leaving behind a shore littered with damp sea-tangle, smooth driftwood, and two thoroughly humbled figures tangled together on the cooling sand like washed-up flotsam.
Driven by basic cold-blooded instincts as the ocean temperature dipped overnight, Eagre had sub-consciously sought out the nearest source of heat.
The result was an absolute monstrosity of personal boundary violations.
His massive, shimmering tail was wrapped securely twice around Saira’s waist, pinning her legs like a heavy velvet anchor.
One broad, claw-tipped arm was drapped possessively over her ribs, hauling her back tightly against his chest, while his chin rested directly on top of her wild, sea-salted silver hair.
Saira, entirely unconscious and acting on pure survival reflexes, had retaliated by buring her face straight into the crook of his neck as if he were a giant, oversized velvet throw pillow.
Between them, resting comfortably in the small hollow created by their entwined torsos, sat the two identical, armour plated sea-coconuts- the silent, innocent architects of their mutual destruction.
And on Eagre’s upturned shoulder, reigning supreme over his newly claimed territory, sat Crabby.
The little crustacean’s coconut helmet gleamed in the early morning rays as he casually snapped a stray piece of drying kelp between his claws, keeping watch over his two unconscious subordinates.
The first sign of life came from Eagre.
As the sun hit his face, his heavy, dark-fringed eyelids twitched.
His luminous emerald eyes fluttered open, cloud-filmed and disoriented from an earth-shattering concussion.
A low, gravelly groan rumbled deep in his throat, sending a vibration straight through the sand-and straight through Saira’s cheek.
His brain fired up in slow, excruciating boot-sequence: Status check: Head pounding.
Cause: Tropical fruit projectile.
Location: shoreline.
Sensory input: unusually warm.
Very warm.
Soft?
Eagre frowned, his webbed fingers instinctively tightening around whatever he was holding to pull it closer to his cold-blooded core.
He shifted his chin slightly, inhaling deeply.
Instead of the sharp, metallic tang of the deep ocean trench, his nose was filled with the overwhelming scent of sun-baked salt and bruised ego.
He froze.
Every muscle in his ancient, immortal body turned to pure granite.
Slowly, agonizingly, Eagre tilted his head down.
Through the frizzy, silver canopy of wild hair resting under his chin, he looked down at the human pressed flush against his chest.
Her face was smashed directly against his collarbone, her breath coming in soft, steady puffs against his skin.
Her arms was wrapped against his ribs.
Her boot was wedged firmly under his tail.
Before he could even process the existential terror currently gripping his soul, the “pillow” against his chest let out a soft, wet smack of her lips.
“Mmm…” Saira murmured, completely oblivious, her forehead pressing deeper into his collarbone as she sank back into her subconscious dreams.
“Extra soy sauce…fresh dragon roll…pass the spicy tuna, Crabby…” Eagre’s breath caught in his throat.Tuna?
Before the sea-god could process the culinary threat, Saira turned her head in her sleep, locked onto the solid, meaty curve of his bare shoulder, opened her mouth, and nibbled him directly on the shoulder without a single second of warning.
Eagre went completely, entirely rigid.
His emerald eyes widened into saucers.
His gills flared wide, locked in a silent, soundless gasp of pure, unadulterated shock.
He didn’t move.
He didn’t breath.
The terrifying, ancient apex predator of the ocean depths was paralyzed on the beach because a feral human girl was attempting to consume him like a midday appetizer.
It took three excruciating long seconds for Saira’s sleepy teeth to realize they were attempting to bite through rubbery, sea-blessed scales instead of tender seafood.
“Ow…” Saira mumbled through a mouthful of sea-god, her sapphire eyes fluttering open in complete confusion.
“This sashimi…is terribly chewy…” She blinked once.Twice.
Her gaze slowly focused on the bright, shimmering scales currently clamped between her front teeth.
She traced the line of scales upward-past a sharp, violently twitching jawline, straight up into a pair of glowing, traumatized emerald eyes staring down at her.
Silence descended upon the beach.
A gull cried somewhere in the distance.
The gentle waves lapped at Saira’s boots.
Saira slowly released his shoulder, a tiny thread of drool glistening in the sunlight.
“Good morning, my servant,” Saira whispered, her voice groggy.
“Did you…just try to eat me?!” Eagre’s voice shot up into an undignified, glass shattering screech, his face flushing a furious, neon-blue.
“Unhand me, you feral land-weasel!” “Unhand you?!” Saira screamed back, full consciousness flooding her veins a she shoved wildly against his chest.
“You’re the one using me as a personal heating pad, you overgrown sardine!” “I am an ancient entity of the deep, not a breakfast buffet!” Eagre bellowed, frantically trying to uncoil his tail and kick himself backward into the surf.
“You wrapped your tail around me like a boa constrictor!” Saira shrieked, frantically trying to push herself off him, only for her boot to get caught in his tail fin,dragging her along with him into two inches of foam.
“Get off!
Get off!
Property violation!
Assault on the estate owner!” Saira yelled, flailing her arms and accidentally slapping Eagre square across the cheek.
“Did you just strike me?!” Eagre roared, untangling his tail with a violent whip that sent a wall of spray cascading over both of them.
They finally broke apart, scrambling backward in opposite directions through the wet sand like two startled hermit crabs.
Eagre slammed his back against his usual coastal boulder, rubbing his bitten shoulder with a look of profound betrayal, his broad chest heaving as he pointed a trembling, clawed finger at her.
Saira scrambled to her knees near her leaning Palmetto villa, her hair standing up in an absolute, gravity-defying halo of frizzy static, her face beet-red as she wiped salt water from her eyes.
Between them on the sand lay the two coconuts.
And perched calmly on the rock right above Eagre’s head sat Crabby.
The little crustacean clicked his pincers twice, raised his little claw, and took a slow, deliberate bite of his kelp, looking between the two panting, disheveled disaster-creatures with supreme, silent judgment.