This was the only birthday Xi Shi had celebrated since reaching adulthood.
After her birthday, Xi Shi began to reflect on herself:
She always felt that she really shouldn't be eating meals on a regular schedule.
Every time Xi Shi ate and drank her fill at Lin Youhe's place, she became especially prone to fits of compassion.
It seemed that a full stomach truly bred idle thoughts.
Like last night, after Xi Shi finished the steaming birthday noodles and the sweet birthday cake, she rose to take her leave. Lin Youhe walked her to the door, then suddenly leaned against the doorframe and bent toward her. With her head foggy from carb overload and her soul—weak-willed in the dead of night—hanging inside her painted skin, she immediately assumed Lin Youhe was about to ask her for a kiss.
Her heart even skipped half a beat.
But instead, Lin Youhe lowered his warm, tender eyes and said seriously, "Happy birthday."
Xi Shi was silent for two seconds, suppressed the subtle awkwardness in her chest, and—wearing the fragile demeanor of "you know, I never had a mother growing up" and "I don't even have a home"—stepped forward to hug Lin Youhe. "It's so nice to have a neighbor like Teacher Lin. This is the first birthday noodles I've ever had in my whole life."
That wasn't entirely a lie.
It really was the first time she'd ever had them.
What comforted Xi Shi was that warm-hearted, good-natured people like Lin Youhe really did fall for this sort of thing.
The very next morning, before seven o'clock, the honest man came knocking on her door to deliver breakfast.
In the early hours, Xi Shi had just woken with a start from her familiar nightmare, taken a shower, and sat stiffly in the living room clutching a coffee cup for over two hours. When she suddenly heard the knocking, she jolted in fright.
She dragged her limbs—stiff and cold as if freshly dug from a grave—and shuffled slowly to the entryway.
She pushed open the security door—
Lin Youhe stood at the threshold in a crisp black suit, a cashmere coat draped over his arm.
He pressed two warm insulated containers into Xi Shi's hands, saying he'd made eight-treasure porridge and egg pancakes. They tasted decent, so he'd brought some over for her to try.
As he spoke, he raised his wrist to glance at his watch, clearly in a hurry to leave.
Xi Shi's gaze swept over Lin Youhe's outfit, and she teased him familiarly: "Off to a blind date, Teacher Lin?"
Lin Youhe waved his hand. "The school has foreign guests visiting. I have to go—traffic is terrible at this hour."
Xi Shi set the containers aside, leaned against the doorframe in her robe, and beckoned to Lin Youhe. "Your tie isn't fastened properly."
Lin Youhe suspected nothing. Without a hint of wariness, he bent down following Xi Shi's gesture. "Is it? I'm not very good at these things…"
Xi Shi pinched the tie knot and tightened it for him, then murmured softly with an unreadable expression: "Come home early tonight, Teacher Lin."
Lin Youhe lifted his gaze.
Xi Shi narrowed her eyes and smiled bewitchingly. "It's almost New Year's. It wouldn't do to put off that dinner I promised you until next year, would it?"
Lin Youhe said "Okay" and hurried off.
The hallway was a bit cold in the morning. Xi Shi watched Lin Youhe's figure disappear at the end of the corridor, smoothly retracted her smile, and expressionlessly carried the still-warm containers back inside.
On her desk lay a sheet of drawing paper, one and a half meters long. On either side, delicate strokes sketched portraits of Shen Meiyan and Chen Lintian, with thin, straight one-way arrows linking their respective social connections and habits.
The arrows around Shen Meiyan were dense as a spider's web; on Chen Lintian's side, most were crossed out.
Chen Lintian's wife had passed away from illness during the first semester of Xi Shi's freshman year of high school.
School had just started then, and the classmates weren't close yet—they bonded by trading bits of gossip overheard around campus.
Xi Shi remembered someone mentioning it, which was why the arrow pointing to his wife had been struck through.
Xi Shi's gaze moved slowly across the paper—Chen Lintian's parents and relatives all lived in his hometown and never showed their faces; his drinking buddies were middle-aged men with complicated social connections, even harder to get close to than Chen Lintian himself…
Aside from Lin Youhe, she had no other options for now.
An arrow once loosed never returns.
Things had already come to this—thinking about alternatives was useless. Xi Shi opened Lin Youhe's container and was startled by the eight-treasure porridge packed so full it nearly overflowed.
The second container was even more excessive—a neat stack of egg pancakes, eight in total.
Just as Xi Shi was staring blankly at the overflowing love-filled breakfast, her phone rang.
Lin Youhe had sent a worried WeChat message:
[Remember to take your medicine on time.]
Xi Shi thought for a moment, then replied warmly:
[Okay.]
[Drive safe.]
Xi Shi ate in the morning, ate at noon, and ate in the afternoon—it took her all day to finish both containers. Eating on schedule and taking her medicine on time left her in an unusually smooth-flowing state all day, so by the time Lin Youhe came back that evening, Xi Shi's "full stomach breeds idle thoughts" had nearly peaked.
Lin Youhe had called ahead to ask about dinner plans. Xi Shi glanced at the murky haze outside, calculating in her head, and said with feigned thoughtfulness: "The weather's terrible. If I said we'd just order some takeout and eat at home, would Teacher Lin think I'm not being sincere enough about treating you?"
Lin Youhe chuckled. "No, I wouldn't."
Xi Shi said, "My place is a bit shabby, so why don't I wait for the delivery at your place instead?"
She said with a cheerful smile, "That way Teacher Lin can sit down to a hot meal the moment he walks in."
Lin Youhe didn't refuse.
This time, Xi Shi didn't plan to borrow Lin Youhe's clothes. After all, they were just neighbors, nothing more. She thought her outfit—a long robe over a tube top and loose pants—was perfectly appropriate.
She let her voluminous curly hair hang loose, wore makeup so refined it could grace a runway, and carried an oversized thermos as she keyed in the security code and walked into her kind neighbor's home.
Perhaps because Lin Youhe had left in a hurry that morning, one of the windows was open, letting the cold air scatter the warmth that should have filled the room.
Xi Shi braved the chilly draft to walk to the window, closed it, and only then caught a faint trace of the same crisp, clean scent she associated with Lin Youhe in the tidy living room.
The roses on the coffee table were still in bloom, and the water in the glass vase was clear and freshly changed.
Xi Shi didn't touch the glowing laptop Lin Youhe had left on the sofa, nor the books and drafts on his desk. She walked to the study doorway and, from a distance, looked at the photo frame on the bookshelf.
Loosely gathering her open robe, she stared at Chen Lintian's damned face for a long while before pulling out her phone to browse for takeout.
When Lin Youhe walked in, he was still in his crisp suit. He changed into slippers, greeted Xi Shi while hanging up his coat, and casually tugged off his tie as he spoke: "I ran into some school administrators on the way out and got held up chatting. Sorry to keep you waiting, Miss Xi."
Xi Shi had already gotten up at the sound of the keypad lock. She leaned against the cabinet half a meter from the entryway with a bright smile: "Perfect timing—the delivery just arrived too."
She watched Lin Youhe's movements and felt a pang of regret, unable to understand why a man blessed with such a face—one that could get away with anything—would insist on pursuing love and marriage.
Lin Youhe had come back carrying several boxes of fruit. While chatting with Xi Shi, he ducked into the kitchen first to wash the fruit and arrange it on a platter before walking side by side with her to the living room.
He set the fruit platter on the coffee table: "Why did you order so much?"
Xi Shi casually made something up: "I didn't know what you'd feel like eating today, so I got a few different things to try."
Lin Youhe looked a bit helpless: "I'm not picky. Sorry for the expense. Give me a moment—I'll change out of these clothes and toss them in the washer, then we can eat."
Xi Shi asked, "Don't you like wearing suits?"
Lin Youhe smiled: "No, it's not that. A colleague was smoking, and I got covered in the smell."
Xi Shi watched his broad, upright back: "Teacher Lin, let's eat at the coffee table. And if you're not busy, I'd love to put on a movie!"
Lin Youhe didn't turn around: "I'm not busy. Whatever you'd like."
Xi Shi turned on the TV and searched her phone for movies she could cast to the screen. Movie posters slid past her eyes one by one, but suddenly she felt weary.
Because this was something Xi Shi had done over and over again, too many times to count.
Whether it was dealing with an accounting professor or a finance director close to Shen Meiyan, whenever she dealt with people, it always came down to disguises tailored to the situation and flattery cut to fit the person.
Humans are born craving belonging, craving understanding, craving someone to huddle with for warmth when hardship strikes.
Just as a disheartened accounting professor couldn't refuse a student who worshipped him wholeheartedly;
Just as a finance director who'd just been betrayed by her husband couldn't refuse an emotional trash can who had it even worse than she did.
In all those long, patient periods of lying in wait, Xi Shi could easily recall countless scenarios just like today's:
A movie playing on the TV, chosen to match the other person's taste;
Food on the table, carefully selected to please;
Countless conversation topics running through her mind, all designed to draw them closer;
And then, in that relaxed atmosphere, carefully extracting useful information from the conversation, patiently waiting for an opportunity that might never come…
That had been her entire life since she turned seventeen.
Xi Shi was scrolling through her phone, about to pick out a steamy romance film to perk herself up and tease Lin Youhe with, when she suddenly heard a frantic clattering noise.
She followed the sound and saw Lin Youhe, his back to her, kneeling on one knee in the laundry room.
Water was spread across the tiled floor in a messy puddle—looked like the inlet hose on the washing machine had sprung a problem.
Xi Shi was still weighing whether she should play up her helpless-little-thing persona by offering to help fix the pipe, when Lin Youhe had already stuffed a towel over the water inlet, deftly shut off the valve, and solved the problem himself.
Water droplets dripping from his hands, he suddenly turned and looked at Xi Shi, who was leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, watching the show.
Caught off guard, Xi Shi said, "…Teacher Lin really is a man of all talents. Oh, I kept a few repair numbers when I moved in—want me to call someone to take a look?"
Lin Youhe stood up: "It's too late. The clothes I need to wash aren't urgent. We'll deal with it tomorrow."
He used his forearm, damp from the water, to push the hair off his forehead. "Hungry?"
Xi Shi had been eating heartwarming breakfast all day and wasn't hungry at all, but she still nodded.
Lin Youhe said, "Let me tidy up a bit, and we'll eat first."
Only when Lin Youhe stood fully upright did Xi Shi get a clear look at his condition—
The black suit jacket he'd worn when he came back was already off, leaving only the white shirt and trousers, soaked through.
The wet shirt fabric clung to Lin Youhe's broad-shouldered, narrow-waisted frame, semi-transparent. Lin Youhe pulled out a few tissues and leisurely dried the water from his hands.
With that movement, the most waterlogged parts of the fabric briefly separated from his skin, then sagged back against it heavily, subtly tracing the lines of Lin Youhe's waist.
This was far more invigorating than watching Lin Youhe get shy.
Xi Shi suddenly became very enthusiastic—first helping to fetch towels and bath towels, then taking the dripping shirt and tossing it into the laundry hamper.
She bustled about for her own benefit, eyeing Lin Youhe with a smile, and even offered to help dry him off.
Xi Shi put on her most proper good-neighbor demeanor: "You forgot to close the window during the day. Dry off before eating, or you'll catch a cold again. Turn around, and I'll help dry your back?"
Lin Youhe said, "That's so kind of you…"
Xi Shi took the towel from Lin Youhe's hand without argument: "When I was sick, I had Teacher Lin to thank for taking care of me. It's only fair to return the favor!"
She pressed the dry, soft towel lightly against the barely perceptible dampness on Lin Youhe's back, then mischievously wiped slowly along his spine.
Only when she saw a faint flush creep up the back of his neck did she hand the towel back and say, "Done."
Lin Youhe, the kind soul who'd be sold and still count the money for the seller, said very politely, "Thank you."
Xi Shi's mood improved considerably: "You're welcome~"
While Lin Youhe changed into loungewear, Xi Shi sat on the living room sofa waiting. When he came back out, he was completely dry, and he'd taken off his glasses to wipe them, glancing at Xi Shi from a moderate distance.
Xi Shi was still looking for a movie and didn't notice. She only looked up when she heard the sound of a plastic bag being torn open.
She looked up to see Lin Youhe tearing open some transparent packaging with his teeth, biting out the little thing inside and eating it, then putting his glasses back on and walking over with a smile.
Lin Youhe wasn't the type to eat alone in front of a guest.
Xi Shi was puzzled: "What is it?"
Lin Youhe said, "Candy."
Xi Shi couldn't figure out why Lin Youhe was eating candy at that moment, but she noticed that when he sat down on the carpet beside her, leaning against the sofa, there was a faint, elusive hint of mint about him.
The takeout Xi Shi had ordered was indeed too much—just the overflowing sushi box and a large portion of wasabi-butter rosenberg shrimp nearly filled the entire coffee table.
Lin Youhe moved the fruit and vase to the floor, spread out the various skewers squeezed into the corner, and frowned slightly in disapproval: "The doctor said you should be eating easily digestible food lately…"
Then he changed tack: "Xi Shi, what are you drinking?"
Xi Shi was just taking a big gulp through the straw of her giant thermos when Lin Youhe's question made her suddenly feel a bit guilty. She stuck out her tongue and licked her lips.
Without changing her expression, she said, "Blood-pressure-raising tea."
Lin Youhe gently called her out: "Blood-pressure-raising tea shouldn't be that color."
Xi Shi licked the corner of her mouth a few more times: "Then it's grape juice."
Lin Youhe looked at Xi Shi for a moment, then leaned over to pull out a tissue, drawing close shoulder to shoulder with her.
They'd had many similar moments before, and Xi Shi thought Lin Youhe was going to wipe her mouth again.
But unexpectedly, Lin Youhe was very good at adapting. The relationship had changed, so his behavior changed right along with it.
He simply folded the tissue in his hand once and handed it over, asking around his mint candy, "Want one?"