Сhарtеr 10: Сan You Not Аbаndon Mе?
After sреаking, Сеn Wаn randоmlу grаbbеd a set оf pajamas аnd flеd in a раniс, еntеring the bаthrооm and clоsing thе doоr behind her.
When Сen Wаn emerged frоm the bаthroоm, thе bedroоm she had left in disаrrау hаd been rеstоrеd tо perfеct tidinеss. She blinked. “Мy clоthes…”
A suddеn, unpleasаnt thоught сrossеd hеr mind—had they bеen thrоwn оut? Not onlу did she think it, but she аlso ореned thе bedroоm door tо сhеck outside, only then letting out а sigh оf relief.
Closing thе dоor and turning arоund, shе met Lu Beixun’s puzzled gaze. For a moment, Cen Wan didn’t know what to say.
While she was still searching for the right words, Lu Beixun spoke first. “The pajamas are in the closet. The rest are in the walk-in wardrobe.”
Cen Wan froze. Was he tacitly allowing her to sleep in his bedroom long-term…?
“Thank you.” This was good. Sleeping together made things easier—no, sleeping together helped deepen their relationship.
She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re not going to go work again later, are you?”
She was afraid Lu Beixun would go to the study and work until the early hours of the morning like he had the night before.
“No.” Lu Beixun leaned lazily against the headboard, a faint weariness in his eyes. He hadn’t rested well the previous night.
This time, Lu Beixun didn’t leave her with his back turned like the night before. The two lay flat on the bed, with a person’s width of distance between them.
The floor lamp was on Cen Wan’s side. She spoke softly, “Then I’ll turn off the light.”
She glanced sideways at Lu Beixun. The warm-toned light fell on his cold, stern profile, softening his edges and adding a touch of gentleness.
Lu Beixun gave a faint “Mm.”
Cen Wan reached out and turned off the floor lamp. The room plunged into dimness, only the faint outline of his profile visible.
Only then did she remember the matter at hand. Turning on her side to face Lu Beixun, she asked, “Are you going to sleep now?”
“What is it?” In the darkness, his tone was indifferent, his voice low and deep.
“If you’re working out tomorrow morning, could you take me with you?” She waited quietly for Lu Beixun’s response.
Usually, she never had the habit of getting up at six in the morning. Even if she couldn’t sleep, she would stay under the covers scrolling on her phone until it was time for breakfast. For someone with a lazy streak, getting up early every day required some willpower; otherwise, it was truly impossible to crawl out of bed.
Fortunately, the gym was on the third floor, so she didn’t have to go outside, which made it slightly easier.
Lu Beixun: “If you can get up, sure.”
“I can do it.” Cen Wan: “Remember to call me.”
“Mm,” Lu Beixun: “Go to sleep.”
Cen Wan obediently replied with an “Mm.” She wasn’t the slightest bit sleepy. With her eyes open, she gazed at his faint outline and listened to his steady breathing.
Cen Wan thought to herself, he must be asleep by now.
Gently, she shifted her body closer to him. He carried the fresh scent of shower gel, and Cen Wan’s heart stirred restlessly. What should she do? She really wanted to hug him.
Her hand tentatively reached out, wanting to wrap around his waist, but she hesitated, not daring to act.
After several attempts, she gave up, afraid of waking him. He hadn’t slept much the night before.
Just as she was withdrawing her hand, her wrist was suddenly grasped. Cen Wan, who wasn’t particularly brave to begin with, was startled. The hand on her wrist tightened slightly, pulling her into Lu Beixun’s embrace, with an arm now resting beneath her neck.
The hand that had grasped her wrist let go and circled her slender waist instead. Lu Beixun, who had been lying flat, now faced her.
Pillowed on his arm, the distance between them closed, so close she could hear Lu Beixun’s steady heartbeat.
Lu Beixun’s voice was low and magnetic. “Behave. Go to sleep.”
In the darkness, Cen Wan blinked, only then realizing he hadn’t been asleep.
She called his name. “Lu Beixun.”
“Mm?”
“Goodnight.”
“Mm.”Cen Wan secretly smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist. This should be the most secure and reassuring position.
So reassuring that she soon fell into a deep sleep in Lu Beixun’s embrace.
But she didn’t sleep long before nightmares began to haunt her.
Fine beads of sweat formed on her forehead, the hair on both sides of her temples dampened by perspiration. Her small face was scrunched up, her complexion deathly pale.
In the dream.
Lu Beixun wasn’t dead. He coldly questioned her, why didn’t she believe him? Why did she have to kill him?
His pitch-black eyes were filled with nothing but disgust and intense hatred toward her. He said, if there was a next life, he never wanted to meet her again.
After saying this, Lu Beixun didn’t spare her another glance, turning and leaving with a resolute back.
She wanted to call his name, wanted to chase after him, but couldn’t make a sound. Her feet felt so heavy she couldn’t take a step, forced to watch helplessly as he walked away.
After Lu Beixun left, she was trapped in a darkness so deep she couldn’t see her own hand in front of her face. There was no direction, not a single glimmer of light. Others couldn’t enter, and she couldn’t get out.
Fear spread through every nerve in her body. She crouched down, hugging herself as she trembled.
“Cen Wan, wake up.” Lu Beixun noticed her distress, his brow slightly furrowed as he called softly: “Wake up.”
Cen Wan’s brow was tightly knit, her hands gripping the blanket tightly. She couldn’t hear any sound, trapped in her pain, murmuring incessantly.
“Don’t go… I’m scared.”
“Lu Beixun… it’s so dark here, don’t leave me…”
“Lu Beixun…”
Her voice grew choked: “Lu Beixun, it wasn’t you who killed Mom, Dad, and my sister… I know now…”
“I really know I was wrong…”
Hearing these words, Lu Beixun’s eyes changed, his emotions inscrutable.
Cen Wan went from a choked voice to sobbing uncontrollably, murmuring ceaselessly, apologizing over and over.
Lu Beixun snapped back to reality, grasping her shoulders and gently shaking her: “Wan Wan, wake up.”
“You’re having a nightmare. I didn’t leave, I didn’t abandon you. I’m right here with you.”
Cen Wan seemed to hear Lu Beixun calling her. Hadn’t he already left?
He was gone. He didn’t want her anymore…
He reached out, gently wiping the tears from the corner of her eye: “Wan Wan, open your eyes and see. I’m here.”
It was Lu Beixun’s voice. She hadn’t misheard. Tearfully, she asked: “If I open my eyes… will you not leave?”
“Can you please… not abandon me.”
Cen Wan’s crying made her speech fragmented, tears continuously streaming from the corners of her eyes. The hair at her temples was soaked, her pillow damp with tears.
Lu Beixun was silent for a moment, then pulled her into his embrace: “How could I bear to leave you like this.”
He sighed: “Don’t cry anymore. Open your eyes and look at me, okay?”
In the dream, the darkness dissipated. She stood up, looking toward Lu Beixun in the distance who was reaching out to her. She smiled.
Cen Wan slowly opened her eyes, meeting Lu Beixun’s worried and pained gaze. She paused for a moment, then suddenly hugged him: “Lu Beixun…”
Lu Beixun gently patted her back: “Mm, I’m here.”
Soon, her tears soaked through the fabric on Lu Beixun’s chest: “I know I was wrong, really.”
Lu Beixun responded with an “Mm,” his tone calm.
Though Cen Wan had woken from the dream, her consciousness remained hazy—so hazy she couldn’t tell if this moment was real or another dream.
“I was wrong…”
Cen Wan clung to Lu Beixun, apologizing repeatedly, while Lu Beixun comforted her gently.
Eventually, she cried herself to exhaustion and fell asleep. This time, she slept without dreams, peacefully and soundly.Lu Beixun settled her in place, tucked her under the covers, and gently smoothed the slight furrow between her brows with his fingertips. His gaze softened as he watched her for a moment, then he leaned over to turn off the floor lamp, lay down beside her, and wrapped his arms around her.
In her sleep, Cen Wan nuzzled against his chest.