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System Are You Kidding Me

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Chapter 1 of 80

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Chapter 1: Transmigrated Into a Cultivation World

System Are You Kidding Me

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“Why… why… why?

I loved you so deeply, yet for a green tea bitch, you killed me!” The voice echoed in a dim, dark room, trembling with rage and sorrow.

The air was thick with silence, as though the very walls had absorbed the sound.Full novel: System Are You Kidding Me — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

Then—suddenly—a sharp breath.

“Huff… huff… Where am I?” A young man stirred, his body heavy with exhaustion.

His eyes fluttered open.

The ceiling was wooden, the walls cracked and stained with age.

A single lantern hung above, its flame flickering weakly.

“I’m not dead?

Where am I?

Agh!

My head is going to explode!” As he sat up, the room came into focus.

The scent of old wood and damp cloth filled the air.

A wooden box lay beside the bed, its surface scarred and worn, as though it had weathered centuries.

Then, memories surged—sharp, vivid, and overwhelming.

A Mortal World of Cultivation?

I’ve transmigrated into a world where cultivation is real.

Jiang WuShang’s heart thumped.

The realization crashed over him like a wave.

“I’m Jiang WuShang—son of Jiang WuKong, who died a week ago.

Before he passed, he uncovered the truth about my mother, Qin Mai.” He reached out and touched the box.

“So this is the box my father mentioned.

It holds the secrets about my mother’s whereabouts.” In the previous life, Jiang WuShang had been a young man with no power, no fortune, and no family.

After his father’s death, he had neither eaten nor slept for seven days.

His body, frail and weak, finally collapsed.

He died—before he could even see the future.

Now, i was reborn—reincarnated—into the body of Jiang WuShang.

“Jiang WuShang, you died young so that I could live as you.

Thank you.

I will fulfill your duties.

I will find your mother,” the voice in his mind whispered.

“So now that I’m alive… where is my system?” He groaned, voice rising in desperation.

“System!

System!

If you don’t come out, I’m going to die!

i haven’t eaten for days” He shouted it again and again—”Panel, open!

Almighty System!

Overpowered System!

God System!

Father System!” No response.

He slumped back onto the bed, eyes closed, mind racing.

Was it a dream?

Was he still in the afterlife?

BAM!

A sharp crack echoed through the room.

“What?

Who is there?” Jiang WuShang bolted upright, heart pounding.

The door burst open—two muscular men stormed in, swords drawn, their faces hardened with anger.

“Brat,” the taller one growled, “your father owes us ten taels of silver.

We’re here to collect it.” “What?

My father owed you money?

Why didn’t I know this?” Jiang WuShang stammered.

“Doesn’t matter,” the man snapped, sticking out his tongue.

“We just need the money.

Ten taels.

Full amount.” Jiang WuShang’s mind reeled.

Ten taels?

I only have fifty strings—less than one tael.

What do I do?

What do I do?

A cold sweat broke across his brow.

He was on the verge of tears.

“Every debt must have a written agreement,” he muttered, voice low.

“Show me the contract, and I’ll pay it.” “Brat,” the man laughed, “your father owes me—no paper needed.

Or do you think he borrowed from the emperor and had to write it down?” Jiang WuShang’s breath hitched.

Looks like I don’t have a choice, he thought bitterly.

“And what if I don’t pay?” “Then you will be buried beside your father,” the man said, smiling coldly.

The words landed like a hammer.

Jiang WuShang’s body went rigid.

Cold sweat poured down his back.

“Okay… I’ll repay you,” he whispered, voice trembling.

“Give me one week.

I’ll collect the money.” The man nodded, satisfied.

“You’re a smart kid.

One week.

Pay it, or die.” “Yes!

I will repay you in one week!” Jiang WuShang said, eyes glistening with tears.

“And brat,” the man added, “don’t think about running.

My men are watching you.

One wrong move—and you’re dead.

Let’s go.

There are other houses to visit.” They left.

The room fell silent.

“What a hellish start,” Jiang WuShang whispered, voice cracking.

“No powerful clan, no wealth, no allies.

And now—on my first day—I’m being threatened to die in a week.” “In my past life, I was a virgin.

I got a girlfriend, but she killed me for a green tea bitch.

Now I have a new life… and on day one, I’m dying.” He fell back onto the bed, exhausted.

“System!

If you don’t come out now, I’m going to kill myself!” Then— Ding!

————-System ————— Condition Match: Binding Host Do You Accept?

[ Yes ] [ No ] ———————————– Jiang WuShang gasped.

“Who?

Who is talking?

Come forth!” A soft chime rang in the air.

A virtual window appeared—clear, elegant, glowing with faint blue light.

“What?

What is this?” Jiang WuShang whispered, eyes wide.

“I’m a Master System, searching for the perfect host to bind,” the screen displayed.

“System!

Like the ones in fantasy novels on Earth?

This is great!

I finally have a system!

System, what are the benefits?” Jiang WuShang said, excitement bubbling in his voice.

————-System ————— System will assign easy tasks for the host to complete.

For every completed task, you will gain Emotion Points.

Emotion Points can be used to purchase services and treasures from the System Shop.

———————————– “That’s great!

Doing easy tasks and I can get treasures,” Jiang WuShang said, smiling.

————-System ————— Condition Match: Binding Host Do You Accept?

[ Yes ] [ No ] ———————————– Seeing the panel again, Jiang WuShang smiled and tapped the “Yes” option.

“I accept.” Ding!

————-System ————— Binding Host ———————————– Golden light surged from the virtual window, wrapping Jiang WuShang in a warm, pulsing aura.

He felt his body lighten, as though a weight had been lifted.

Then—darkness.

When he opened his eyes, he was lying on the bed again.

“What?

Where is my system?

Did I fall asleep and dream?” Jiang WuShang asked, scanning the room.

Ding!

————-System ————— Host’s mood dropped.

Emotion Points dropped: -5 ———————————– “I have a system!

I have a system!

Great!

I thought I was dreaming,” Jiang WuShang said, voice rising with relief.

Ding!

————-System ————— Host’s Emotion Points dropped.

-5.

If they reach -50, the host will die.

———————————– “If they drop to -50, I will die?

System, are you kidding me?” Jiang WuShang muttered.

Ding!

————-System ————— Host’s mood dropped.

Emotion Points dropped: -5 ———————————– ————-System ————— Host’s Emotion Points dropped.

-10.

If they reach -50, the host will die.

———————————– “Okay, okay!

Look, I’m happy!

System, what do I do?” Jiang WuShang said, forcing a smile.

————-System ————— Host must complete tasks to gain Emotion Points from others.

———————————– “System, what is the task?” Jiang WuShang asked.

————-System ————— Task Assigned: Make trouble for Magistrate Ling.

———————————– “What?

Make trouble for Magistrate Ling?

System, are you kidding me?

you said it’s easy tasks” Jiang WuShang said, eyes narrowing.

Ding!

————-System ————— Host’s mood dropped.

Emotion Points dropped: -5 ———————————– ————-System ————— Host’s Emotion Points dropped.

-15.

If they reach -50, the host will die.

———————————– “Okay, okay!

My mood is good.

System, tell me how I can make trouble for Magistrate Ling,” Jiang WuShang said, a faint smile forming.

Ding!

————-System ————— Detected: The two thugs who threatened the host are connected to Magistrate Ling.

———————————– “What do you mean?

Those two thugs are connected to Magistrate Ling?

Did he send them for extortion?” Jiang WuShang asked.

————-System ————— Yes, Host.

———————————— “Good.

Very good.

Great!

I will make them pay the price.

System, where are those two thugs?

I need their location and meeting time with Magistrate Ling,” Jiang WuShang said, voice low with intent.

Ding!

————-System ————— They are at High Tower Brothel, and they are meeting Magistrate Ling tomorrow at the Magistrate’s Office.

————————————- “Good.

I need to prepare for tomorrow,” Jiang WuShang said, eyes narrowing.

“But first—System, open the System Shop.

I want to know what I can get with my low Emotion Points.

If I can purchase cultivation, I can become a martial artist in no time,” Jiang WuShang said, voice filled with hope.

Ding!

————-System ————— Access Denied.

———————————— “What?

Is it because of my low Emotion Points?” Jiang WuShang asked, controlling his breathing.

He knew—if his mood dropped further, he’d die.

Ding!

————-System —————- No.

————————————- “Then why can’t I access the System Shop?” Jiang WuShang asked.

————-System ————— System Level is low.

Reach Level 4 to unlock the System Shop.

————————————- “System Level 4?

Looks like it’s not happening anytime soon,” Jiang WuShang muttered, sinking back onto the bed.

He closed his eyes and began to think.

Magistrate Ling… He has a father and a son.

His father is old and weak, his son is in the capital.

A spark ignited in his mind.

“System, how exactly can I gain Emotion Points?” Jiang WuShang asked.

Ding!

————-System ————— Anger, happiness, fear, frustration, and other emotions can generate Emotion Points.

If any of these emotions are connected to the host, the host will gain Emotion Points.

————————————- “Collecting others’ emotions to gain Emotion Points…” Jiang WuShang’s mind raced.

“This is a world ruled by cultivation.

If I make others happy, I’ll become a saint—killed instantly.

If I make them angry, I’ll be a public enemy.

There’s no safe place.” He paused.

Then a slow, calculating smile spread across his face.

“I can’t directly offend anyone.

But if I play it right—shift blame, stir the public—perhaps I can turn the tide.” He lay back on the bed, eyes closed.

Tomorrow would be fun.

If he played it right, he could kill two birds with one stone.

If you enjoy dark cultivation, ruthless protagonists, high-stakes revenge, and unique system mechanics, hit that Add to Library button!

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Full novel: System Are You Kidding Me — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
📱NovelCodex for AndroidYour library, progress and tokens, in an app made for reading on your phone.Get the app
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