You've probably heard it said that a shaman ought to be honest and above reproach.
But is that true of every last one of us?
“Oh my, Young Master Seo! I watched you on TV yesterday. The camera absolutely loves you, doesn't it?”
“Ha ha. Does it, now?”
“It does, it does. I've always known you were a good-looking one, Young Master Seo, but watching you yesterday — you'd put those actors to shame! Oh, that reminds me. Here's your reading fee.”
Barely keeping the corners of my mouth from ascending into heaven, I accepted the thick envelope with perfect composure.
Oof. How much is in here?
That's my lady for you. Always openhanded.
Heh heh heh.
Who says a shaman isn't allowed to love money?
Say what you like — standing right here is the best-earning, best-living shaman alive in the Republic of Korea today.
Seo Utak, in the twenty-seventh blossom of his youth. Currently the hottest shaman in the country.
So hot, in fact, that I've gone and conquered major network television.
“By the way, Young Master Seo. Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“That you're really the child of a certain conglomerate family. That sort of thing.”
Ugh. Why do rumors travel so fast in this business?
“Well. I am from a family with money, that part's true.”
I dodged the question with a deliberately vague answer.
Not that it mattered. In that house I was a child they could take or leave.
I pressed a few potent talismans into the lady's hands, sent her on her way, and tidied up the shrine.
This was the most important part of my day.
Squatting square in the middle of the shrine, decked out in dazzling splendor, was a ball-jointed doll.
I rubbed my palms together respectfully, offered up a prayer, then polished her to a reverent shine.
Why, you ask?
'Because this lady right here is my meal ticket!'
Behold: the Celestial Maiden I serve.
Not that the doll is her actual body. It's her statue.
Why this, of all things, for her statue?
Because my most exalted Celestial Maiden loves pretty, gorgeous things more than anyone else alive.
Which is why I kept the space in front of her statue permanently stocked with photocards of beautiful male idols and merch of every description.
Plus jewels and designer accessories on top of that.
Glittering, blazing, gorgeous — my shrine was, in and of itself, an Experience.
Word of mouth on social media, built on unmatched style and outstanding results, is what carried me to where I stand today.
And every last bit of it, thanks to the Celestial Maiden.
'Ever since I started listening to the Celestial Maiden, my age of success began. Ever since I started listening to the Celestial Maiden, the broadcast offers came pouring in. Ever since I started listening to the Celestial Maiden, my life has been different...!!'
And is success all of it?
She is the one who freed me from a prison with no bars. Pure light. An absolute GOD!
Therefore, as far as I am concerned, the Celestial Maiden's will is law.
That said.
“Celestial Maiden. Do I really have to wear this...?”
In my hands was an unusually short shirt.
Cut off partway across as though the sewing had been abandoned halfway, it was — I kid you not — a men's crop top.
The Celestial Maiden had lately acquired a taste for idol styling and greatly enjoyed dressing me from head to toe. And of all the things she could have fixated on, she had fixated on crop tops.
Look, I'm all for going to the salon, getting my hair and makeup done, throwing on designer clothes. I love that.
But... a crop top?
I'm over 190 centimeters tall. I'm also a gym rat, so the muscle is packed on.
And she wants me in a crop top...?
I remembered a client's eyes wandering helplessly, with nowhere safe to land, confronted by the sheer bursting force of me in a crop top.
'Ngh! The PTSD...!'
My spirit-sight had never opened, so I couldn't see her face or hear her voice, but I could feel her will loud and clear: I was going to wear it.
“...”
Fine. I'll just put it on.
What else can you do? Orders are orders.
I shut up and shoved my arms through the crop top.
Looks like I'm going to the gym in a crop top.
My schedule had been so packed that it had been ages since my last workout.
No mere crop top could stand between me and the iron.
I steeled myself and stepped outside, and the wind felt colder than it should have — the bare stomach, probably.
'Is it chilly today? Celestial Maiden, could you—'
Hm?
I was about to ask her to warm me up, but her presence had vanished.
'Ha. Some celebrity must have turned up nearby.'
Whenever an idol or a handsome actor materialized somewhere near the shrine, the Celestial Maiden had a way of quietly disappearing from my side.
I assumed this was more of the same.
So I walked on, ignoring the stares from all around me, and kept walking.
Wait, though. They're staring way too much?!
Crop top or no crop top, isn't this a bit much?!
Some of them were even letting out small shrieks and pointing.
Seriously, people. Have some decency.
Hm. Was this street always this shaded?
I raised my head slowly, and there was something enormous and shaggy with fur.
“Uh...?”
Before I could finish processing it, a frantic scream drove itself into my ears.
-No!!!
“Guhk!!”
Heat bloomed across my stomach and my field of vision went flying into the sky.
The last thing I saw was a white crescent-moon marking on a field of black.
'...A bear?'
Why the f*ck is there an Asiatic black bear in the middle of a city!
And so I was torn apart.
Then I opened my eyes.
Huh?
“Ah-buh?”
-Eeeee! You opened your eyes!
In front of me was a girl in twin-tails, unfamiliar and familiar all at once.
Huuuh?
***
“Abuh-bubbuh bweb?”
'Reincarnated in Another World as a Shaman, Starting from Age Zero?'
If that came out as a web novel, nobody would read it.
But that is literally what happened. The moment I died, I was reborn in another world.
-Ahahaha! You really are the funniest, Utak!
And the levitating twin-tailed girl in front of me was the Celestial Maiden I had served in my previous life.
Fifteen, maybe? Sixteen?
No wonder the idols turned her head.
It all made sense now, and the memory came flooding back of the days I'd spent trawling social media to trade for a rare photocard.
Hm. My eyes are suddenly welling up.
“Ubbeh-beh...”
“Oh dear, whatever is the matter, young master? You look ready to cry.”
Great.
The nurse scooped me up to soothe me.
-Utak, have you really turned into a baby?
'My mind is an adult's, thank you.'
Why be ashamed? I was a full-blown newborn!
From what I'd observed so far, this was a wealthy household with a medieval European feel.
Once again, I was the child of a rich family.
Well. If it had to be one or the other, rich is the lucky draw.
And the most fortunate part is, probably.
-Utak! I heard people talking earlier, and it sounds like they're naming you soon!
Giggle, giggle.
Isn't it the Celestial Maiden, laughing cheerfully right in front of my eyes?
How she had managed to follow me into a reincarnation in a different world, I had no idea.
But her being at my side meant that wealth and glory were a lock in this life too. Say it with me! Long live the Celestial Maiden!
'Celestial Maiden! Will I get to walk the road of money and jewels this time as well?'
-Hmm? Sure, once I get my power back to what it used to be.
Huh? What is that supposed to mean?
'Where did all the merit I piled up for you go?'
-You got reincarnated, so obviously it's all gone.
You what!!
“Bwaaaaah!”
'Nooooo!'
“Oh my! Whatever has gotten into him!”
A shaman's power comes from the god they serve.
So where does a god's power come from?
It is built out of the merit their spirit disciple accumulates through diligent prayer.
There are gods who go recharge themselves at some sacred mountain, sure.
But our Celestial Maiden was not that sort. She always preferred an idol concert to a mountain.
Which meant, in short, that the tower of merit I had spent some twenty years praying into existence had collapsed to nothing!!
'Have a heart. If you're going to reincarnate someone, shouldn't there be a reincarnation buff...'
Damn it.
If I'd possessed a body instead, at least I could have gotten around.
“Aaaabwaaah!”
'I'm a newborn!'
Try as I might to move, flailing my arms and legs was the best I could manage.
Good grief.
For months to come I would be trapped like this, unable to speak, unable to budge.
At least with the Celestial Maiden here I wouldn't be bored...
-Eeee! Oh, Utak! You are so unbelievably cute! You're going to be a total idol when you grow up!
Wouldn't be...
-Your hair and your eyelashes are both blond! So lustrous! And your eyes are blue!! Eeee!
Would...
-Your arms and legs are so long! You're going to shoot right up this time too!!
Argh! Too loud!
Forget not being bored, my ears were ringing.
Maybe it was better back when I couldn't see or hear her.
Inside me, the image of a mystic and wondrous Celestial Maiden crumbled quietly to dust.
'Absolutely devastating.'
But life is the old man's runaway horse — no telling what turns out to be a blessing.
Ditzy as she was, the Celestial Maiden's endless chatter did relieve the frustration of being trapped in an infant's body.
And the greatness of a being who had lost her power but not her divinity only made my faith firmer.
Right. Power can be rebuilt one step at a time. I'm a baby anyway, aren't I?
On top of that, a few days of observation told me the place I'd been born into was not merely 'well-off.'
Even to my eyes, well accustomed to fine things, the sheer wealth was palpable in every corner of the house.
This works. This is going to work...!
'Heh heh heh. Just living off the family allowance would keep me comfortable.'
A household this rich had to be nobility of some sort.
I had no idea which house it was or where I fell in the birth order.
But I had no appetite for power anyway, so surely I could just ask for a reasonable cut?
The one thing nagging at me was that I still hadn't seen my parents' faces.
'Come on, I sleep fifteen hours a day. Why do they only come while I'm asleep?'
Still, it was fine.
I had the Celestial Maiden stuck to me.
Even short on power, as long as she was with me I could farm some affection one way or another.
And so I waited for the day I would meet my parents.
Then, a few days later.
'Holy... these people are my parents?'
Holy. Holy...!!
They really were holy.
Holy how, you ask? Their faces!!
Light came off both of their august countenances!
'Ngh, so bright...!'
No wonder.
No wonder the Celestial Maiden lost her mind every time my parents came and went while I slept. There was a reason.
Mother especially looked like she had a halo behind her.
Shimmering blond hair, a benevolent smile. Ah — art thou, in truth, my goddess?
-Utak, pull yourself together.
'Ahem.'
Beauty shocking enough to top every life I had ever lived had briefly knocked me senseless.
Father was a remarkable-looking man too. Less rugged than fine-featured, if I had to put it that way. Almost like an idol...
-Eeeee! Utak! Your dad is so unbelievably handsome!!
'Celestial Maiden, pull yourself together.'
An idol's looks, she says.
I could watch the hearts firing out of the Celestial Maiden's eyes in real time.
Damn it. I can already picture a future of her screaming every time Father walks into view.
'Hold on, if my parents' countenances are like this, then my face...?'
Was this the fabled reincarnation gacha jackpot?
She made such a fuss on a daily basis that I'd had a rough idea.
But I hadn't known my looks would be this unreal.
Facing the two faces that my own future would most closely resemble, my expectations swelled and swelled.
'A mirror. I want to see a mirror...!'
And so, instead of a mirror, I stared at my parents' faces, thoroughly captivated.
Then it struck me. Both of their faces were incredibly holy. Their auras, too.
'Huh? Now that I look, their clothes are...'
...?
Those look a bit like clerical vestments.
“Ah, yes. The date has been set for the child's Naming Rite.”
“Oh, congratulations, Your Eminence.”
...Excuse me?
I looked up at Father with trembling pupils.
'My father is a Cardinal...?'
My gaze drifted, of its own accord, to the Celestial Maiden spinning circles around him and shrieking.
So much for lucky.
For starters, it looks like I botched the family gacha.
***
'Reincarnated in Another World as a Shaman, Starting from Age Zero — and It Turns Out I'm the Cardinal's Son...'
That really does sound like a web novel nobody would want to read. So why is it my actual life?
'Celestial Maiden, if they find out I'm a shaman, will I get thrown out of the house?'
-I don't think these people could tell you were a shaman if you told them.
I looked at the Celestial Maiden floating upside down in front of me and sighed.
For now, using her to farm affection was on hold.
Who knows what would happen if I got caught.
I didn't know much about this world yet, but if a Cardinal's son turned out to be a heretic, however that shook out, it was going to be bad.
So what was I supposed to do now?
And that wasn't the only problem.
'Celestial Maiden, is your divine power still not recharging?'
-Nope. This place seems to be different from Earth.
With no divine power flowing back in, the Celestial Maiden's form was growing a little fainter by the day.
'Damn it...'
I chewed anxiously at my fingernails.
I had no teeth yet, so I couldn't actually chew them, but the sentiment stands.
I can state this with my chest out.
Right now, I am completely and utterly dependent on the Celestial Maiden!
No, no. Think about it. What can I possibly do right now? I'm a newborn whose entire skill set is babbling and flailing.
And she's telling me she might disappear!
If I'm honest, I do covet a little of the wealth and glory she would bring.
But that isn't all of it.
In my last life and in this one, from the moment I was born she has stayed at my side, and all I want is to keep going exactly like this, with her.
I can't even picture a life without her.
There had to be a way.
Let's build a hypothesis. Starting from first principles: the Celestial Maiden, as she is now, has not a single connection to this world.
So doesn't that mean her frequency and this world's frequency simply don't match?
And if the frequency were matched? Wouldn't her divine power recharge on its own?
'The problem is how to match it.'
Which comes down to getting tangled up with this world, one way or another.
I was turning the problem over and over when two servants came in to tidy the room and started murmuring to each other.
“Do you suppose it's really true?”
“Is what true?”
“That Lord Elysian has vanished.”
“Ah, I've only heard the rumor myself. Though the way His Eminence has been acting lately, it might really be so...”
“They say even the Saint hasn't heard Lord Elysian's voice in months?”
“A Saint who can't hear the word of his god. How ironic.”
The two of them went on chattering without pause while they annihilated the dust in the room.
'...The god vanished?'
-Ooh, the god here is named Elysian? That's pretty!
'Your name is pretty too, Celestial Maiden.'
-I'm not saying my name isn't pretty, it's just. Elysian, Elysian. Doesn't it sound sophisticated? I want a name like that.
'!!'
That's it!!
'Celestial Maiden!'
-Mm?
'Let's change your name!'
-Huh?
'To Elysian!'
-Huuuh?