The Celestial Maiden told me about this once, a long time ago.
That gods, as a category, are boring, tedious, stiff creatures.
That they're inflexible as a rule, and that they look at her and shun her for having no dignity, for being vulgar.
So what would the god of this place be like?
Different world, so maybe a different temperament — but honestly? I doubt the god here is all that different.
In which case, would that god be pleased about a Celestial Maiden barging into his world out of nowhere?
'Obviously not.'
And on top of that, she tries to entangle herself with his world by any means available?
Forget being displeased. She could be cast out entirely.
But the god is gone!
If the god really was absent, that was our chance.
A chance to slip into the gap he'd left and rub shoulders with that 'god' somehow!
Right. If you have no roots in this world, you cling and tangle yourself in until you do.
By, for instance, taking the same name as this world's currently-out-of-office god!
'I know it won't be that easy, but they say the god here vanished, right? You're divine too, Celestial Maiden, so if the names matched, isn't there a chance the world gets confused?!'
-As if.
'And even if that's not it, naming yourself the way this world names things could work better than you'd think!'
I reeled off reason after reason why she had to change her name.
-Hmm...? You think?
Persuasion successful, in the end.
She had her doubts, but I pushed it through regardless.
-But what if Elysian didn't actually vanish?
'You can't sense whether the god is here or not?'
-This Elysian's rank is too high for me to get a proper look... but I can feel a 'trace' of the god, at least.
'Then let's begin.'
However far her divine power had fallen, if our Celestial Maiden went as far as saying that, the god was gone.
So let's do it!
-Really? You're really doing it?
'Yes yes yes yes. Absolutely. Go! Go even if it busts!'
Vanishing because a god got angry, or vanishing slowly by wasting away.
That's a difference of speed, not outcome. So we might as well throw something at the wall.
And if the god really had disappeared, our Celestial Maiden could serve as regent in the meantime — isn't that good for everyone?
Self-justification complete, I hurried her along.
-But how do I even change my name?
Ah. Good question. I hadn't thought that far.
'Um, could you just declare that from now on you'll be going by this name?'
-If it were that easy, wouldn't every random spirit on Earth have renamed itself after some great god by now?
She kept picking holes in it, but she played along with me anyway.
-I, Danmok the Celestial Maiden, shall henceforth go by the name 'Elysian'!
Gulp.
She and I stared blankly at each other.
One second, two seconds, three seconds... ten seconds.
...Astonishingly, nothing whatsoever had changed.
-It didn't work!
'Tch.'
-Tchhh???
The Celestial Maiden's cheeks went scarlet and steam came snorting out of her nose.
-Well, honestly! The nerve!
At the voices behind my back I turned my head, feeling sheepish.
The servants had finished cleaning and were on their way out.
'I really thought that would work.'
Surely this much falls under poetic license, transmigrator's edition. Huh? Shouldn't it count?
'Celestial Maiden, let's try a different method of changing your— huh?'
Just as I was starting to give up.
-Wha?
A soft haze of light began to leak out of her.
Is it — is it working?
The Celestial Maiden's faded body started, little by little, to sharpen.
It's working...!
If she'd been a murky 480p a moment ago, she was now crystal-clear 4K.
-...Why did that work?
'We did it!!'
Yesss!
I have no idea why there was a delay, but who cares, it worked!
That took the worry of her disappearing off my shoulders.
-Divine power just flows in because I changed one name. Does that make any sense?!
'But it worked, didn't it?'
-All I got was enough divine power to avoid dissolving. The name matches, that's all. I'm not fundamentally the same being.
'It went up, though, right?'
-Oh, you!
Teasing aside, she was right.
Fundamentally, gods draw their strength from 'belief.'
Major gods with a big religion like this one especially take in the power of that belief very strongly.
However much our Celestial Maiden had renamed herself 'Elysian,' the fundamentals were different, so it would be hard for the believers' faith to come back to her as raw power.
But!
'I'm going to make you the god of this world, Celestial Maiden!'
I know what our Celestial Maiden can do.
I know how her power has to be used, and how to win people's trust with it.
And our Celestial Maiden is a giving god — the kind who 'returns double whatever faith you put in'!
'Long live the Celestial Maiden!'
***
A goal had been set.
Its name: 'Operation Become the Perfect Elysian!'
For reasons unknown, this world currently had no god.
According to the Celestial Maiden, when a heavyweight god vanishes abruptly, all sorts of problems tend to follow.
-It's because every god's abilities are different.
Just as people have their specialties, so do gods.
The bigger a god's weight class, the more people lean on that god's 'specialty' — and now imagine that god suddenly disappearing.
Chaos, obviously.
But what if the Celestial Maiden raised her influence bit by bit and settled that chaos for them?
Then even if Elysian came back, the odds of him coming down hard on our Celestial Maiden drop!
If she could fully take over even part of Elysian's market share (?), then she could blend completely into this world even when the real one returned.
And besides.
My own personal little god, praised by a great multitude of people?
That's fantastic!
It's not a loss for the people here either.
Because the Celestial Maiden is, quite literally, light and god.
Praise the Celestial Maiden, and there shall be light in thy life; believe in the Celestial Maiden, and money and jewels shall follow. How good is that?
'Heh heh.'
-What is wrong with you.
Having a goal didn't mean I could actually do anything about it yet.
Which stands to reason.
“Abab-wa!”
“Full of energy again today, young master.”
Because I was a newborn who couldn't even crawl...!
Hah. When do I get to grow up?
Sonya, the nurse assigned to me, cared for me with genuine devotion in my parents' place.
Mother and my Cardinal father seemed so busy lately that they couldn't spare a moment to drop in.
The reason was probably.
“Your Naming Rite is one week from now, young master. I can hardly wait to hear what name you'll be given.”
This Naming Rite, apparently.
I sucked hard and without hesitation at the bottle Sonya put to my mouth.
If I want to grow fast, I have to eat a lot.
The formula tasted bland and strange at first, but once I got used to it, it was honestly pretty good.
Anyway. Since I couldn't move, the Celestial Maiden roamed the house in my place and gathered information.
She couldn't get more than a certain distance from me, but even so, the haul was decent.
And here is what we learned.
This wasn't merely a world with a medieval European feel. It was — get this — medieval fantasy!
'Fantasy. I'm in a fantasy world...!'
-Utak, your life up to now was pretty fantastical in its own right, you know?
'Cel— no, Elly! Modern fantasy and medieval fantasy are completely different genres!'
With so little I could actually do right now.
I started with one small thing: calling the Celestial Maiden 'Elly.'
The power of a spoken name is not to be underestimated.
Elly remained thoroughly unimpressed by this.
The country I'd been born into was an enormous religious state called the Elion Holy Empire.
This world had Saints, and battle priests, and mages, and even elves!
'A hybrid priest wielding both magic and sorcery... ohhh, yes!'
-Just hurry up and grow, would you.
'Hhhh. Haaaah... So this is the air of a medieval fantasy world!'
-Good grief.
The days passed with my fantasy expectations puffing up bigger and bigger. And at last, the Naming Rite arrived.
The Naming Rite. As the name makes plain, it is the event at which a name is given.
A ceremony in which Elysian bestows a blessing-laden name upon his creations.
I'd wondered why I still had no name three months after being born, but seeing the scale of it, this seemed to be a considerably more important ceremony than I'd assumed.
'Wow, this is a first for me. This many people turning up to watch me get named.'
-You're a three-month-old infant, so isn't everything a first?
'That's not what I meant. I just don't think I've ever been congratulated this much before.'
-Mm. I'm glad this world is kind to you, Utak.
An enormous number of people had gathered for the sake of me alone.
The great prayer hall was packed with people who had come to bless me.
The heart that had been floating so high started to feel ticklish.
In over twenty-seven years of life, the only one who ever blessed me sincerely was Elly.
I had never received a welcome like this from family before, either.
Honestly, it made me happy.
Held in Mother's arms, I looked around and saw an enormous divine statue standing at the center of the prayer hall.
Elysian, presumably?
And in front of it, a white flame burning fiercely. It looked exceedingly holy.
“Little one, this is Lord Elysian's Sacred Flame. Today it will choose your name for you.”
A name chosen by a flame. Now that's a fresh idea.
Mother carried me slowly toward the flame.
Wait, wait a moment. Mother? That's very close!
'Aaagh! ...Huh? It's not hot?'
The white Sacred Flame wasn't hot in the slightest, even up close.
So this is a fantasy flame?
Seeing my eyes go round, Mother smiled gently and laid me in the cradle set before the flame.
At that exact moment, drool came dripping in a steady trickle from the corner of Elly's mouth.
'Yuck! That's disgusting!!'
-Slurp. Can I not eat that?
'Eat — eat what!'
-That. That fire.
Why would you eat fire!
-That's a lump of pure divine power. It's incredible.
'Huh. Really? Oh, you're right.'
The divine power residing in the Sacred Flame radiated such a presence that it was strange I hadn't noticed until now.
Elysian's Sacred Flame indeed.
'Couldn't we just swipe it once the Naming Rite is over?'
-Ahem. I'll try to hold out a little longer.
The Naming Rite must have been about to begin in earnest, because three slips of paper were laid between me and the Sacred Flame.
'These are my name candidates?'
Oh. I genuinely can't read a single one.
Why is it that I can understand the speech but not the writing?
Elly and I stared blankly, stupidly, at the papers covered in squiggly script.
'Want to bet? On which name gets picked?'
-Huh? Neither of us knows what any of it says.
'So we pick whichever one looks nicest.'
-Yeah? Then I'll take the left one.
'Wow, our tastes really don't match. I'll take the right one.'
Once we'd chosen names by way of a pointless wager, my Cardinal father began to recite the prayer.
“O Elysian. O Source of the radiant light, O Glory ever-changing. Today Thy light enfolds a single life...”
'Radiant light? Glory ever-changing? Are those, like, Elysian's attributes?'
-Probably? Sounds like a god of light.
“In the beginning, Elysian divided His body in two that He might watch over us...”
My focus on the unfamiliar prayer lasted about that long.
As the tedious prayer went on and on without end, the two of us began to nod off.
“...upon this world of Thy creating, the blessing of the eternal and ever-changing light...”
“...this world Thou hast ordered is not the same for a single moment...”
“...may the child's first breath go with Thy breath, and the child's first name be under Thy name...”
'Father, have a heart, give me the three-line summary.'
It was long. It was so unbelievably long.
Elly had had her eyes rolled back and been asleep for ages already.
This was the important ceremony that would decide my name, so I tried to stay awake as long as I could.
But a newborn's eyelids are heavier than you'd expect.
I dozed like that for what felt like a good twenty minutes.
Then a familiar voice said something crude and my sleep evaporated.
“How dare you, do you know where you are!! Damned heathen scum!!”
Huh? Uh... Mother?
I was genuinely shocked.
My benevolent mother's face had turned into a raging rakshasa.
Heathens? Surely not me and Elly?!
I looked up in a hurry and found Elly dozing with a vacant expression.
Mother's gaze wasn't pointed this way either.
So what, then?
My eyes moved naturally, and there were human figures wrapped head to toe in black cloth.
Fragments of stained glass rolled across the floor; I hadn't noticed when it shattered.
And the flame, which had not moved at all until now, began to creep into motion. Toward me.
“Brbrbwah!”
'This thing keeps coming at me!'
Mother! Look over here!!
It might not be hot, but it's a little scary!
I called out to Mother, flailing my arms and legs with everything I had.
“The Inquisitor once known as the Blood Executioner has grown awfully tame.”
Excuse me...?
Mother is the Blood Executioner...? An Inquisitor...?
Now that I looked, what she held in her hand was a morning star bristling with spikes!
“Silence! Filthy heathen!”
My pupils trembled violently.
Ah... I don't think you need to come over here after all, Mother.
This reincarnation is a bust.
I reviewed it inwardly. I had well and truly botched the family gacha.