The General’s Manor was situated on West Street, close to the West Market, making it a place of utmost bustling lively activity. This was owing to the Emperor’s special favor; pitying General Xie Yuanshan for guarding a bitter cold frontier like Bianyang Pass year after year, he had deliberately arranged his residence in a prosperous district of the capital.
Seated inside the palanquin, with every extra glimpse Xie Ning caught of the capital’s flourishing sights, her heart gained an added measure of courage to burn her bridges behind her.
Before long, they arrived at the Xie residence.
Two massive red lanterns hung before the gates of the General’s Manor, making the imperial plaque bearing the gilded inscription “Zhenyuan General’s Manor” glow with even greater brilliance. Having already received word in advance, Xie Yuanshan was waiting at the entrance early on.
Xie Ning stepped out of the palanquin, greeted by old amahs and maidservants who had waited for a long time to lead her toward the inner courtyard.
From a distance, Xie Ning overheard Xie Yuanshan exchanging pleasantries with Manager Liu. Realizing how her father appeared simple and honest on the outside while actually being thoroughly versed in worldly sophistication, she could not help casting a mocking smile. Who said those skilled in waging war were bound to be unpolished boors? Though Xie Yuanshan barely knew a handful of written characters, his belly was thoroughly packed with calculations.
The moment the amahs and maidservants escorted Xie Ning into the inner courtyard, Li Wan’s face turned thoroughly overcast. “What reckless audacity! You truly learned nothing but recklessness at Bianyang Pass. Is the Eldest Princess someone you can order around as you please? Yesterday, in front of the Noble Consort and the Eldest Princess, I could not reprimand you properly you completely threw away all the face your father and I have! Where are your manners!”
Li Wan clenched her fingers tightly, her entire body brimming with rage. Xie Ning, however, paid it no mind. Yet when her eyes brushed past the back of her mother’s hand, her gaze suddenly halted. Staring at that patch of dark bruise, her tone turned abruptly cold: “He beat you again?”
Li Wan’s original anger caught in her throat. Flustered, she covered the back of her hand, a flash of panic crossing her face before she grew even more fiercely defensive: “We are speaking of your affairs; what nonsense are you bringing up now?”
Xie Ning stared at her, sneering softly, “You certainly preserve your proper manners, though I fear in the end, you won’t be able to preserve your life.”
Her slightly mocking tone thoroughly incensed Li Wan: “Xie Ning! Have you lost your mind? How dare you speak like this? Besides, your father simply drank a bit too much wine; does he not treat you and me well enough on ordinary days? Take a look across this entire capital: which prominent household has only one wife and one daughter? I often urge your father to take concubines on ordinary days, yet he refuses. How many men like him can you find in the entire world? It is entirely I who have let him down”
Xie Ning could not listen any further. She felt as though her mother’s brain had been ruined by poison; clearly beaten black and blue by Xie Yuanshan, she surprisingly still felt that she was the one letting Xie Yuanshan down. Xie Ning opened her mouth several times, only to bottle her words back in. She truly wanted to know: if her mother knew right now that she would be beaten to death by Xie Yuanshan in the near future, would she still defend him like this?
Xie Ning remembered clearly that less than half a month after the New Year’s Eve palace banquet, an imperial decree was issued sending her into the Academy of Etiquette to learn palace rules. Meanwhile, her mother, Li Wan, on her way returning to Bianyang Pass with Xie Yuanshan after the Lantern Festival, would be beaten to death. Yet Xie Ning would have to wait until the conclusion of the grand marriage bestowal ceremony in March of the following year before receiving news of her mother’s death. The messenger merely reported that Li Wan could not endure the hardships of travel and succumbed to an uncured illness. Separated by an entire year, Xie Ning never even caught a final glimpse of her mother. Yet no wall under the sun was entirely windproof; as long as Xie Ning set her mind to it, both the soldiers who gathered her mother’s body back then and the dismissed serving maidservants were able to reveal the truth to her.
By rough calculation, she entered the palace at seventeen, was conferred as Crown Princess at eighteen, learned of her mother’s death after the marriage bestowal concluded, observed a three-year mourning period for her mother, and finally officially entered the Eastern Palace at the age of twenty-one.
Of course, her true acquaintance with Xiao Rong occurred shortly after in the Academy of Etiquette. Yet it was not until she leaped down from the Gate of Supreme Peace at twenty-five that her relationship with Xiao Rong was completely severed.
Looking back now, every single day spent during those eight years in the capital had been a nightmare. Even those times spent indulging and sinking into passion with Xiao Rong felt like poison luring one into a trap; once the truth was torn open, all intimacy and sensual delight left behind only dripping blood.
Had her mother ever loved her? She likely had, but her mother’s love carried poison, and the catalyst for this poison was Xie Yuanshan. Her mother, Li Wan, was willing to sacrifice everything for her husband naturally including her daughter. Xie Ning knew that in her mother’s heart lay a pair of scales: on one side stood herself, and on the other stood Xie Yuanshan. Yet she was clearly nowhere near equal to Xie Yuanshan’s weight.
Had Xiao Rong ever loved her? She likely had as well. After all, as the dignified Eldest Princess, had she not possessed a single shred of affection, she would never have entered the game in person, whispering sweet nothings and mingling intimately as one with Xie Ning. Yet within Xiao Rong’s heart also lay a pair of scales: on one side stood a negligible Xie Ning, and on the other stood immense power. In the face of power, Xie Ning appeared far too insignificant to be worth mentioning.
The two most important and cherished people in Xie Ning’s life neither regarded her as their top priority. Was there anything more laughable in this world?
Now, Xie Ning was no longer willing to prioritize them either. Since others did not care for her, she would care for herself. Her struggle against Xie Yuanshan would mark the beginning of her life’s battles; Xie Ning already knew that only through struggle could true peace be obtained. Everything gained by relying on the so-called favor and conscience of superiors was merely a reflection of the moon in water or a flower in a mirror they could bestow it, and they could take it away.
As for conscience, that was an exceptionally rare and thoroughly unreliable commodity among such people.
What was more, Xie Yuanshan did not possess such a thing as a “conscience” at all.
Li Wan’s endless chatter finally came to a halt the moment Xie Yuanshan walked over.
Xie Yuanshan put away his smile, his sharp brow knitting together to project a terrifying ferocity: “On an occasion like the New Year, how could you disturb the Eldest Princess’s Manor? Is this how your mother taught you!”
He did not need to speak particularly heavy words; he merely needed to pull his face down, lower his tone, and couple it with his murderous aura to make anyone’s legs turn weak.
In her past life, Xie Ning had feared her father’s scolding above all else. Yet looking at it now, it was nothing more than this. Since he felt it improper for her to stay overnight at the Princess’s Manor on New Year’s Eve, why had he not sent someone to search for her last night? If he had brought her back then and chewed her out now, it could be considered proper from start to finish. Yet what was the situation right now? His daughter was absent from the manor during the New Year, yet he didn’t even bother to ask a single question, only coming over now to deliver a torrent of head-on scolding. Who was truly to blame?
For a moment, Xie Ning even felt that her past life of trembling in fear and walking on thin ice had been utterly absurd and laughable!
Today was different from the past. She listened quietly to Xie Yuanshan’s scolding with a serene expression, completely unlike her former terrified self. Even a rough man like Xie Yuanshan, who prided himself on being a boor, detected something amiss.
However, Xie Yuanshan did not truly understand Xie Ning. This daughter had always given him the impression of being timid and dull; her current performance merely seemed like dullness, nothing more. Xie Yuanshan’s brows knitted even deeper. Suppressing his scolding, he turned to say, “I have important matters to instruct you.”
Xie Ning lowered her eyes, knowing full well what he was about to instruct.
Sure enough, Xie Yuanshan’s tone softened slightly: “You are the only daughter of me, Xie Yuanshan. The Emperor favors you, and fearing you might lack a good future, he has matched you with the finest young man under heaven. You must understand the Emperor’s great benevolence, and assist the Crown Prince properly in the future!”
Only then did Li Wan’s face show a look of delight, glaring at Xie Ning: “Did you hear that? You foolish girl, as wooden as a corpse the Emperor intends to betroth you as the Crown Princess! This is truly a blessing from the heavens! Otherwise, who could you marry in the future? Look at yourself: lacking looks, lacking a fine figure, not even understanding proper etiquette! This is all thanks to the Emperor holding your father in high regard. You are benefiting entirely from your father’s glory to have such good fortune!”
“Once you become the Crown Princess in the future, you cannot act like a corpse as you do now; you must know how to please the Crown Prince!”
“Your mother speaks correctly. A woman follows her husband once married; what matters most is pleasing her husband. It is only that your husband is extraordinary, so naturally the expectations for you differ from ordinary women,” Xie Yuanshan said. “There is no rush for these matters now. From now on, Xie Ning will remain in the capital to spend a few years learning rules at the Academy of Etiquette. Once the Crown Prince’s capping ceremony concludes, the marriage will be formally bestowed. Otherwise, with her current appearance, how could she be worthy of the Crown Prince?”
In her past life, her parents had “instructed” her away in precisely this manner, giving Xie Ning no opportunity to speak from start to finish.
Xie Ning looked at them calmly until Li Wan noticed something was wrong: “What, are you stunned stupid by joy?”
Xie Yuanshan was a man whose roughness concealed shrewdness. At this moment, he also sensed Xie Ning’s abnormality. After a moment’s thought, assuming his daughter harbored resistance toward remaining alone in the capital, he said, “The Crown Prince is seventeen this year, still three years away from his capping ceremony. During these three years, learn rules properly at the Academy of Etiquette. Once the marriage is bestowed in the future, you will officially become the Crown Princess, bringing honor to your parents’ faces as well! Your parents have only you as a daughter; when we grow old in the future, we still count on you to offer support!”
“Of course, once you become the Crown Princess, your parents will also serve as the backing behind your shoulders! Say what you will, your father is still the Zhenyuan General who commands the vast armies at Bianyang Pass. In the future, if you give birth to a son, no one will dare bully you!”
Xie Ning grew sick of listening. Her parents babbled so much, all to make her serve as a good dog for the Crown Prince while acting as a blood bag for her parents not only pleasing the Crown Prince, but also wholeheartedly backing her father. After all, the only support behind her back was her parents!
Xie Ning wondered how on earth she had managed in her past life to listen through all these words without refuting a single syllable. Ah yes, in her past life, her heart had been filled with fear of disappointing her parents. Thus, even if those words sounded wrong, she still chose to obediently act as a puppet pulled by strings in her parents’ hands. Her greatest resistance had been mistaking Xiao Rong for the Crown Prince at the Academy of Etiquette, trying hard to draw close to the “Crown Prince” while foolishly expecting that the “Crown Prince” would reject her as Crown Princess out of dislike.
Who could reproach a person scolded since childhood for failing to instantly possess the courage to resist?
A toxic bond of kinship was like a patch of mud foul and filthy, yet clinging relentlessly. For those born within it, attempting to break free often required paying a bloody price akin to carving out flesh and severing bones.
Xie Ning did not wish to listen any further. In her past life, she had discovered through Xiao Rong that women were never inferior to men—in fact, they were far superior to most ordinary men. Her being born a woman was no mistake; what was truly wrong were the thousands upon thousands of people like her parents. Who dared say women were inferior to men?
Xie Ning raised her gaze, looking straight at the biological father she had rarely dared to look in the eye in the past, uttering a single short sentence with absolute clarity: “I will not be the Crown Princess.”
The instant she uttered this sentence, the air seemed to freeze.
Li Wan stood frozen on the spot like a statue, looking toward her in utter disbelief.
Xie Yuanshan also froze for a moment before speaking in an ice-cold tone: “What did you say?”
“I said,” Xie Ning did not mind repeating it once more, “I. Will. Not. Be. The. Crown. Princess.”
This time, every single word leaped out from between her teeth with unprecedented clarity. The moment she spoke these words, Xie Ning felt a sense of relief she had never experienced before—so expressing oneself was not so difficult after all!
However, in the very next second BANG! Xie Yuanshan grabbed a teacup and smashed it violently against Xie Ning’s head. Being the work of the Zhenyuan General, his aim was naturally spot-on. Xie Ning was struck on the spot, blood flowing from her forehead. The massive impact caused her to stagger several steps back, steadying her stance only by leaning against the doorframe, her vision turning dizzy and her head ringing wildly for a moment.
Li Wan let out a cry of alarm, only to be drowned out by Xie Yuanshan’s enraged roar: “Presumptuous!”
“You disgraceful creature! What do you think you are! The Emperor bestowing you as Crown Princess is a virtue accumulated from your past life! Since when do you have a say in this?!”
Li Wan rushed forward, hurriedly wiping the blood for Xie Ning in a frantic rush, feeling both heartache and anger as she scolded: “You child, have you lost your mind! An identity like Crown Princess is something so many people cannot beg for in a lifetime that is a lifetime of wealth and glory! Besides, since ancient times, children’s marriages have always been decided by parents’ orders and matchmakers’ words. How can it be up to whether you are willing or not?”
“Stop talking foolishly! Look at how angry you’ve made your father! Be careful or he’ll whip you!”
Xie Yuanshan had already ordered someone to fetch the whip.
Xie Ning let out a cold sneer, “I fear he dares not.”
“I dare not? I dare not?!” Xie Yuanshan was brimming with rage, like a crazy bull that had lost its sanity. “Good, good, good! Today I shall beat you to death, you arrogant brat who doesn’t know the height of heaven or the depth of the earth!”
Xie Ning raised her head, droplets of blood running down her eye socket onto her nose, yet her tone remained entirely composed: “This is the capital, not Bianyang Pass. At the foot of the Emperor, His Majesty discusses with you about betrothing me as Crown Princess on his front foot, and on your back foot you beat me half to death. When word reaches the Emperor’s ears, General Xie, I wonder how you plan to account for it?”
The whip high in Xie Yuanshan’s hand halted right in mid-air. Indeed, the Emperor had just expressed his intention to betroth Xie Ning as the Crown Princess, yet he returned home and beat Xie Ning was… was this not slapping the Emperor’s face? Realizing this point, Xie Yuanshan’s face turned as dark as charcoal, his breathing turning even more labored like an ox, his eyes turning red with rage. “Presumptuous! Presumptuous! Disgraceful creature!”
He seized the whip and lashed out indiscriminately to vent, smashing the teacups and vessels in the front hall into scattered pieces, shattering them across the floor.
Li Wan’s hand wiping the blood for Xie Ning froze on the spot. She could not help looking toward her daughter, suddenly finding this daughter exceedingly unfamiliar.
Like a mad bull, after lashing out at random, Xie Yuanshan glared at Xie Ning with gnashing teeth: “Fine, I will not beat you. But regarding this Crown Princess matter, you had best accept it obediently! Otherwise, do not blame me, your father, for showing no affection!”
Xie Ning wiped away the blood flowing to the corner of her eye. “I will not accept it.” Not only would she not accept it, she was going to pour oil onto the fire: “Unless I have a younger brother who can become the next General Xie after your hundred years are up, just like you, loved and valued by the Emperor for selling his life in loyal service.”
She did not directly point out that so-called younger brother, but she wanted to force her parents to tear away that fake mask of “doing it for her own good.” If it were truly for her own good, how could they send her into the palace while concealing such a massive secret at home? Rather than saying this younger brother would become her backing in the future, it was more accurate to say that perhaps she could win the Crown Prince’s favor in the future to grant her brother a way out.
One must know that whenever a major general on the border had male offspring, which one would fail to become a key focus of the Emperor’s attention? First, to prevent border generals from relying on troops to self-aggrandize; second, to use male offspring as a weakness; and third, to place high hopes on the offspring, wishing for the son to inherit the father’s legacy. Xie Yuanshan’s concealment appeared harmless on the surface, yet he was trusted by the Emperor due to his “loyalty.” Concealment represented “disloyalty,” and disloyalty was a paramount taboo for a minister, especially a general.
Once the secret was exposed, Xie Yuanshan at worst would disarm and return to his fields after all, he was reaching the age. But what about Xie Ning trapped in the palace? By then, stripped of backing and deprived of the Emperor’s regard, losing even her value to be utilized by the Crown Prince such circumstances, what good end could Xie Ning possibly have?
In her past life, all of this had been kept from her. Xie Ning had been nothing more than a chess piece that could be easily discarded. But now, Xie Ning was going to overturn this chessboard.
These words of hers, carrying implied meaning, completely cut off Xie Yuanshan’s retreat.
Originally, Xie Yuanshan had intended to bind her up directly, starve her for a few days, and release her only after she submitted to hunger. By then, even if Xie Ning held resentment in her heart, once she entered the palace with no one to rely on behind her, she would still have to soften her stance toward him, her biological father.
Yet now, involving his only precious son, Xie Yuanshan seemed to have been hit by a pause button. His wild rage vanished completely, and he calmed down instantly. However, his eyes were like poisoned steel, staring at Xie Ning with a chilling coldness: “What nonsense are you babbling?”