The eve of the Mid-Autumn Festival was already cold this year. I sat on the boat, not daring to look at the moonlight reflecting on the lake. I am afraid of water. When I was a child, I fell into a water pit. If an old man from my village hadn’t pulled me out, I would have died long ago.
Lin Chongtan sat across from me. After we finished dinner, he took a Kongming lantern out from the boat.
“Write something on it,” Lin Chongtan said as he handed the lantern to me.
I had never written on a lantern before, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to write. Lin Chongtan did not rush me. He waited quietly by my side until I carefully wrote:
“I wish for my parents to have a long life, for my brothers to be healthy and safe, and the same for myself.”
Lin Chongtan took the lantern from me and wrote on the other side. Unlike me, he wrote two lines of poetry:
“In flowery robes with wide belts, they fly up to heaven. They invite me to the Cloud Terrace to greet the immortal Wei Shuqing.”
I was stunned when I saw his poem. Before I could think more about it, he pulled me to the front of the boat to release the lantern. The boatman was a middle-aged man wearing a straw raincoat. He could not speak and only used his hands to communicate. When he saw us come out, he gave us a shy smile.
Lin Chongtan and I released the lantern together. After returning to the cabin, I heard the faint sound of music coming from far away. I listened for a while, then took out the jade flute that Lin Chongtan had given me for my birthday last year.
“Chongtan, please play a song for me.” I said this on purpose because I wanted to please him.
After being in a close relationship with Lin Chongtan for nearly a year, I noticed that he liked it when I depended on him. To be precise, the more I showed that I was obsessed with him, the better he treated me.
Lin Chongtan looked at the jade flute in my hand. He didn’t agree immediately; instead, he asked me to play the newest song I had learned.
I was a bit unwilling. Playing the flute in front of him felt like embarrassing myself. But Lin Chongtan kept staring at me, so I had to put the flute to my lips and try to play the new song.
I am not good at the flute. A flute player needs long, steady breaths. As expected, my playing became shaky after a short time. Lin Chongtan was still watching me. Because I felt embarrassed, my face started to feel hot. After playing a little longer and becoming even shakier, I awkwardly put the flute down.
A long, pale hand reached out and picked up the flute from the table.
Lin Chongtan’s lips touched the same spot where mine had been. A moment later, music began to play. I listened for a while and realized he was playing a folk song from Gusu.
I had heard my mother sing this song before. Back then, she would sit by the bed and sing it to help my twin brothers nap.
Hearing this song again made me feel like I was back in Gusu, back at my family home. I had not seen my parents or brothers for two years. Other than Liangji, Lin Chongtan was the only person by my side.
When the song ended, I suddenly heard a splash. I turned to look out the window and saw someone swimming in the lake. I cried out in surprise.
“Someone fell into the water!” I tried to rush out, but Lin Chongtan held me back.
“It’s fine. That was the boatman,” Lin Chongtan said. “He grew up in the water, so don’t worry. Now that he has brought us here, he is going home to eat.”
I was stunned. “Then, how will we get back? I don’t know how to row a boat.”
“I do.”
Lin Chongtan led me out of the boat again. I realized there was a much larger boat next to us. The outside of that boat looked simple, with only a small lamp hanging from the roof.
Lin Chongtan took me onto the large boat. The inside was amazing. It was even more spacious than my room at the Imperial College. The room smelled wonderful, and the decorations were all very expensive and beautiful. However, what attracted me most was a white screen for shadow puppets in the middle of the cabin.
I saw Lin Chongtan go behind the white screen. A moment later, he poked his head out. A gentle smile appeared on his handsome face. “Xiao Di, please take a seat.”
I realized he was going to perform a shadow puppet show. I sat on the chair in front of the screen, feeling surprised. Shadow puppetry was considered a “low-class” activity; how did Lin Chongtan know how to do it?
When I first arrived at the Lin family home, my father invited a shadow puppet master to perform. I was fascinated by it. Later, I told my father I wanted to learn, but he scolded me harshly.
My father said only “low-class” people learned such things. People like us should only watch for fun and never touch or learn it.
Lin Chongtan performed Chang’e Flies to the Moon for me, but his version was different from the one I knew. His Chang’e was a bossy woman who was always scolding Hou Yi. Hou Yi was brave outside, but at home, he was very timid. Every time he was scolded, he would cry out, “Wife, I was wrong!”
I had never seen anything so funny and could not stop laughing. When the story reached the part where Hou Yi got the pill of immortality and a man named Pang Meng threatened Chang’e with a sword, I became very nervous. Even though I knew what would happen, I still felt sad for them.
Watching Chang’e swallow the pill and fly to the moon palace, I couldn’t help but sigh.
In the usual story, Hou Yi would think Chang’e took the pill for herself, and the couple would be separated forever.
But the plot went in an unexpected direction. When Hou Yi learned his wife had taken the pill, he said, “My wife must have had a good reason.” Then he went to find the Queen Mother of the West. The Queen Mother felt sorry for him because of his love, so she allowed Hou Yi to go to the celestial palace to find Chang’e. In the end, the husband and wife were reunited and lived happily together.
When the show ended, I was still in a daze. Lin Chongtan poked his head out from behind the screen again. Seeing me still staring at the screen, he told me to come over.
“Here, you try it,” Lin Chongtan said, asking me to hold the puppet.
I reached out but then pulled my hand back.
My father had said this was for low-class people.
Lin Chongtan thought I was afraid of breaking it, so he personally put the puppet sticks into my hands. “It’s okay. You won’t break it.”
I wanted to pull back, but without realizing it, I gripped the sticks and started to move the puppet. Lin Chongtan began to do the voices for me. After a while, I stopped him. “I want to do it myself.”
“Alright,” Lin Chongtan said with a laugh.
If Lin Chongtan told the story of Chang’e, then I would tell the story of Wu Gang Cutting the Tree. In my story, Wu Gang becomes blind at night. Because he is blind, he always bumps into the tree in the yard when he goes to the bathroom at night. So, he gets very angry and tries to cut the tree down during the day, but the tree never falls.
Chang’e and Hou Yi were gone, and only a rabbit lived next door. The rabbit saw Wu Gang cutting the tree every day and mocked him for wasting his time.
Wu Gang got very angry and tried to chase the rabbit. As he chased it, night fell. Wu Gang couldn’t see anything and ended up being bullied by the rabbit instead.
I was so entertained by my own story that I didn’t realize I had fallen into Lin Chongtan’s arms. I only realized it and sat up when he put his hand on my shoulder. I tried to move away, but Lin Chongtan put his arm around my waist and wouldn’t let me go.
“Xiao Di.” Lin Chongtan’s voice sounded different than before. I recognized this voice; he always used it when he was about to do something bad.
I looked away uncomfortably and stayed silent.
Lin Chongtan leaned close to my ear. “Here, or on the other boat?”
Without thinking much, I chose this boat. The previous boat was small. When we rode it here, it kept swaying, and I was afraid it would flip over.
But when Lin Chongtan heard me choose the big boat, he pulled me back onto the small boat instead. I couldn’t push him away, and he trapped me in a corner.
Even though this had happened many times, I still felt ashamed. As he approached, my voice trembled. “The light! I don’t want the light to be that bright!”
I used to think Lin Chongtan was a perfect gentleman because he looked and acted like one. But ever since we started being together, he always bullied me in private. Every time, he would not let me wear any clothes at all, while he remained fully dressed.
In one of Liangji’s books, there was a story about a prince who saved a girl. The girl gave herself to him, but the prince had a strange habit of pouring honey on her and licking it off. I felt that Lin Chongtan was a bit like that prince, though he didn’t pour honey on me. Leaning against the silk cushions, I closed my eyes and whispered the school lessons I had learned during the day. Usually, after I recited them three times, Lin Chongtan would let me go.
But I finished the lessons, and Lin Chongtan still hadn’t stopped. I couldn’t help but open my eyes. In the dim light, I saw his straight, elegant nose.
I bit my lip and tried to move away. Lin Chongtan immediately held my waist down. His voice was deep and husky. “What’s wrong?”
How could he ask what was wrong?!
I tried to cover my chest with my hands, feeling a bit angry. “What do you think? You’ve never, never been this long before…”
Actually, I was angry about something else too. I am not a woman; I don’t get any pleasure from this. Since the first time he did this last winter, he seemed to have become addicted to it.
Lin Chongtan kissed my cheek as if to comfort me. “Tonight is different.”
Why was tonight different?
I didn’t understand, but I soon found out.
For the first time, I felt a pain that was different from being hit. The pain made me cry immediately. I angrily pushed Lin Chongtan and kicked him. The small boat started to shake. I was afraid the boat would flip, so I had to stop.
Lin Chongtan saw that I was crying hard. After a moment of tension, he finally got up. He sat by the window to feel the breeze. I wiped the tears from my face and looked at him fearfully.
It was very quiet all around us, as if Lin Chongtan and I were the only people in the world. There was only one dim lamp in the cabin. The flame was weak, and as the cold wind blew in from the window, it looked like it was about to go out. Half of Lin Chongtan’s body was in the light, while the other half was hidden in the darkness.