I looked at Lin Chongtan in the light and shadows, then slowly lowered my head. Did I just reject him? Would he be angry? If he got angry, would he stop helping me in the future?
It was just that it hurt too much.
While I was hesitating, I thought of the letter from home. I could almost see the disappointed look in my father’s eyes. Finally, I gritted my teeth, stood up, and walked toward Lin Chongtan.
Lin Chongtan kept his eyes on the lake view outside the window. The moonlight made ripples on the water. He only noticed I was coming when I got close.
As soon as he saw me, his eyebrows frowned. He quickly took an outer robe and wrapped it around me. I followed his movements and sat in his lap.
“Are you angry?” I asked while looking closely at his face.
Lin Chongtan closed the window. His voice was actually quite gentle. “No.”
I didn’t quite believe him, so I pulled his hand and placed it on my waist. He really was angry; as soon as he touched my waist, he quickly pulled his hand back.
My heart felt more uneasy, and I pulled closer into his arms. He still didn’t react much. I thought for a moment, then ignored my shame and fear to whisper something in his ear.
Lin Chongtan didn’t seem to care about what I said. Instead, he started helping me put on my clothes. I got anxious and did something that even shocked me. I grabbed his hand and led it downward.
He clearly paused. I leaned on his shoulder, not daring to look at him. He had long, flexible hands. He never kept long fingernails, and his nails were trimmed clean and round. If you smelled them closely, you could smell medicine and ink. Those hands were supposed to be used for writing beautiful essays and famous poems.
“Xiao Di.”
I heard him call my name, but I buried my face deeper into his neck. I didn’t want him to see my expression right now. I don’t know how long it took, but my hands were finally empty. He wasn’t finished yet.
The sound of the lake water outside the small boat was very quiet.
I had my eyes closed, but for some reason, I suddenly wanted to open them. When I did, I happened to see his eyes. He was staring at me, and I didn’t know how long he had been watching. In the shadows, his eyes behind his long lashes looked like they held stars, forming a galaxy.
I don’t know what came over me, but I moved forward and kissed his lips on my own. As soon as I touched them, I realized I was being too bold. I wanted to pull back, but it was too late.
The small boat began to rock. My back was against the window, and the sound of water rang in my ears. I was so nervous because I was afraid of falling into the water. Lin Chongtan’s brow tightened and relaxed, then tightened again. His voice, deeper than usual, was very close to my ear. “Xiao Di, just relax a little.”
I shook my head with tears in my eyes. “No, I can’t! I’m scared…”
Maybe I saw it wrong, but after I said that, he seemed to smile slightly. The window was somehow pushed open. I was so scared I almost jumped up, but I was like a fish on a cutting board, unable to move.
The sound of the lake was closer now. The waves outside the boat kept moving, getting faster and faster. The sound of the bell from the Thousand Buddha Temple outside the city came across the lake with the wind. I didn’t have time to listen to it, because as the bell rang, Lin Chongtan said to me, “Happy birthday, Xiao Di.”
At the same time, he said he wanted to give me a gift. It took me a long time to realize what “gift” he was talking about, and I immediately started crying from anger.
Who would want such a shameless gift!
I was very angry, but the boat started rocking again. I couldn’t stay angry because I was afraid of falling into the water, so I had to hold him tightly. As I started to lose focus, he told me to open my mouth and stick out my tongue. I didn’t want to listen to him, so he kept kissing my cheek and pinching my foot, which was very annoying. I had no choice but to do as he said, and then his kiss fell on me.
He carried me to the big boat. There was water ready on the stove. Although it wasn’t enough for a full bath, it was enough to wipe my body. I was exhausted and wanted to go to sleep immediately. But he started acting strange again. After wiping me down, he sat me in his lap and gently touched my hair. My hair had already fallen loose. The string used to tie my hair was on his wrist earlier, but now it was gone.
Just as I was about to fall asleep in his arms, there was a sudden noise outside. He quickly grabbed a clean robe from the bed next to us and covered me, hiding even my hair.
Almost at the same time, someone walked in.
“As I thought, you are here.”
The voice sounded familiar, like I had heard it somewhere before.
I was scared by the other person’s voice and didn’t dare to move. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this. While I was feeling terrified, Lin Chongtan spoke in a relaxed voice.
“Why is the Third Lord here?”
Third Lord?
It was the Crown Prince!
I became even more afraid and grabbed his clothes with my fingers.
“I came looking for you. I saw you weren’t at the school dorm, so I looked outside. I didn’t expect to see such a romantic scene.” The Prince let out a low laugh. “I wondered why you were so cold to those women. It turns out you like men.”
Lin Chongtan didn’t deny it. He gently rubbed my back with his fingers. “I’m sorry the Third Lord had to see this.”
The Prince laughed again. “I’m not laughing at you. Seeing this makes me feel like you’re actually a real person. However, I am curious: do men taste good?”
Lin Chongtan also laughed softly. “I was wondering why you were standing there without giving me a chance to fix my clothes. If you are curious, why don’t you try for yourself?”
After he spoke, he lifted a corner of the robe covering me. I didn’t have time to think. Like a scared bird, I hugged his neck tightly to hide myself. I wasn’t wearing anything at all; only the robe was covering me. But he pulled my hands away and said to the Prince, “Does the Third Lord want to try? He just hasn’t washed his body yet.”