— The Case of Our Sadistic Chief Deity —
"Nyuwah!?"
Amaterasu-sama cried out after finding a strange thread on a certain message board.
Apparently, stripping poor Grauze-san the Duke Demon down to nothing hadn't gone over well. Japanese people usually side with the weak—it's just in their nature.
You really didn't hold back, Amaterasu-sama.
Who said you were a gentle god again?
It was a very calm kind of plunder, wasn't it?
"That's not true! That vampire was seriously dangerous!"
Amaterasu-sama wanted to defend herself, but Omoikane-sama had already banned her from posting. All she could do now was roll around on the tatami, groaning in frustration.
"...What are you doing, Amaterasu-sama?"
"Ah, Omoikane."
The bearded old man sighed at the sight before him. He was Omoikane, the god of wisdom and thought, a sort of chief advisor in Takamagahara. Incidentally, he was also the one who suggested throwing a "banquet" when Amaterasu-sama locked herself away. On paper, he looked like a very eccentric god.
"You're browsing those anonymous boards again? Most of that nonsense is just jokes—don't take it seriously."
"But—"
"If you must read something, here. Look at this site instead. They're actually having a serious debate."
Surprisingly tech-savvy for his age, Omoikane-sama opened a new discussion board in a flash.
'That vampire was clearly hostile toward humans. Amaterasu-sama and the Prime Minister did the right thing.'
'Even so, wasn't the obedience pact too harsh? It's close to a slave contract.'
'That depends on Lynbel-san, the one who made the pact, doesn't it?'
At first, the discussion seemed civil—serious talk about vampires and divine power.
But then...
"...Wait."
"Hmm?"
—Why did Amaterasu-sama appear as a young girl?
'There's nothing like that in the Kojiki or Nihon Shoki*, right?'
'Because that's how she really looked.'
'People back then matured earlier. Maybe that's just how she appeared.'
(*Refers to Japan's oldest chronicles—the Kojiki and Nihon Shoki—which record myths but never mention Omoikane's gender.)
Reasonable points. Calm, academic discussion.
Until one post changed everything.
'Japanese people are lolicons. Can't be helped.'
'↑ Hard to argue with that.'
'Even adult Japanese women are considered loli overseas.'
'So Japan is the land of lolis and lolicons.'
'Anyway, Amaterasu-sama's cute, so who cares?'
'True. She was adorable.'
'Amaterasu-sama moe~'
'Moe~'
"...Serious, huh?"
"..."
Amaterasu-sama gave Omoikane-sama a cold stare, her eyes half-lidded in disbelief.
Omoikane-sama looked away, whistling to avoid her gaze.
And so, Takamagahara remained peaceful another day.
* * *
Demon realm.
They call it the demon realm, but it's really just a continent where demons live.
Recently, a new Demon King appeared there.
"..."
A woman sat lazily on a gold-trimmed throne. Her hair was red as blood, black horns curled above her ears, and power radiated from her even as she rested—enough to prove she was truly the Demon King.
A Dullahan ran up to her, panic on his face.
"Demon King-sama! A hero has infiltrated the castle!"
"Why though!?"
That was a Kansai-accented retort. Sharp, beautiful even—art in motion.
Yes, despite appearances, the Demon King-sama was Japanese. She had been summoned by mistake when they tried to call a new demon king, and somehow, she just... ended up keeping the job. A true example of the "can't say no" Japanese spirit.
"I told you not to fight humans! So why is a hero here!?"
"Maybe because the war only ended a few months ago. They probably don't trust the ceasefire."
"Then what was the point of signing the treaty!?"
She groaned and rolled her head in circles, all majesty gone. Right now, she was just a frustrated big sister.
"I'll deal with him—"
"Didn't I just say no fighting, you muscle-brained fool!?"
The Cyclops she smacked into the ground had his head stuck halfway into the floor. Truly, her slap was mightier than a sword.
"Ugh... fine. Just bring him here. Please don't provoke him... I'm begging you..."
Tears welled up as she hugged Cerberus, burying her face in his fur. To her, the guardian of Hell was just a big, fluffy dog.
"But even if we bring him—hey, what's the hero doing now?"
"He triggered Demon King-sama's 'open the suspicious treasure chest in the middle of the room to find only a cypress stick' trap. He's sulking."
"...He might be a lost cause."
Later, the Demon King met the hero. After a round of tearful pleading and a sudden burst of temper, the hero gave up on fighting. Somehow, the war ended peacefully.
And so, the demon realm stayed peaceful too.