Jiang Nan followed his gaze toward her belly, gave a helpless smile, and explained simply: “Not born—it was lost.”
Cheng Denglin had once asked if she wanted to inform the original host’s close aunt’s family. Jiang Nan, afraid of worrying them—and mindful that she was not the original host and didn’t wish to trouble her relatives—had refused. She hadn’t expected to run into them today.
“Lost?” Her cousin’s face darkened with anger. “How did that Cheng fellow take care of you?”
Jiang Nan shook her head. She didn’t want to discuss such matters in public and invite gossip, so she said lightly, “I just slipped and fell.”
“When did this happen? Why didn’t you contact the family? My mother must be worried sick. When we get back, I’ll be sure to tell her!” The cousin reproached her.
Hearing this, Jiang Nan felt deeply moved on behalf of the original host.
The original host had been very close to this aunt.
Her family lived in Jiaoyuan Commune, four to five hours’ walk from Hongshan Commune, up in the mountains. Her parents favored sons over daughters, and so did her grandparents. Yet strangely, unlike other families steeped in such bias, the girls in her family were not meek or resigned to sacrificing themselves for their brothers. They were all fierce and strong-willed.
The only gentler one had been the younger aunt. At fourteen, she was betrothed. One day she developed a sudden high fever. The grandparents refused to pay for medical treatment, and instead summoned her fiancé’s family to take her away. But since they had already paid a hefty bride price, they refused to spend more. In the tug-of-war between the two families, the girl received no timely care and died from the fever.
By the time the elder aunt, already married elsewhere, learned of it, the younger aunt had been buried. From then on, she hated the grandparents and never returned. Only when the grandfather died did she come back with her children for the funeral. Hearing that the original host had saved money to attend school but was refused by her parents—who even tried to extort her savings—this aunt admired her courage when she dared to threaten her brother with a kitchen knife over two taels of meat.
The original host had started school late; she was already fourteen when she finished primary school. The elder aunt worried she might be “sold off” like the younger aunt, so she arranged for her to study at Hongshan Commune, in the same year as her cousin Li Xu, two years younger, so he could keep an eye on her nearby.
Thus, the original host grew closer to her aunt’s family. Even the new quilt in her dowry had been prepared by this aunt. The aunt had four children, and her family barely scraped by each year. That quilt must have taken countless ration tickets for cloth and cotton to save up.
The original host had always been grateful to her aunt.
“Sis, are you going home to see my mother now?” Li Xu asked. After all, this was the bus heading to Hongshan Commune.
Jiang Nan felt awkward. She hadn’t planned on that just yet. “I’ll go once I’ve settled down,” she said.
Li Xu frowned. “Settle down with what?”
Jiang Nan had no choice but to lay it all out. After all, she would be stationed at Hongshan Middle School for the next six months and might often run into her aunt’s family. “I changed jobs. From now on I’ll be teaching at Hongshan Middle School. I’ll visit Aunt in a few days.”
Li Xu didn’t grasp it right away, only exclaimed with delight: “That’s great! The commune is close to home—whether you go back or we come to see you, it’ll be convenient. But…” He hesitated, puzzled. “Won’t life be inconvenient for you? This place is so far from the farm machinery factory. Why did you decide to transfer?”
Seeing him finally catch on, Jiang Nan tossed out a teasing “bomb”: “That’s why I divorced.”
Her cousin was stunned, as if shell-shocked. “Di…divorced?”
The passengers on the bus reacted much the same—heads turned, ears pricked. A few aunties looked eager to jump in and gossip. Even the tall man who had boarded with Li Xu and closed his eyes to rest opened them to glance at her, clearly surprised.
Zhao Rui was indeed surprised. He knew this woman. Beyond knowing she was Li Xu’s cousin and having occasionally seen her at the brigade, he had come to know more about her years later. When his son announced he wanted to marry a girl, Zhao Rui investigated her background. Li Xu discovered that the girl was the niece of Jiang Nan’s husband.
Li Xu had grown up under Zhao Rui’s wing, watched his son grow, and cared for him deeply. Yet upon learning the girlfriend was that niece, Li Xu grew cold, no longer teasing or joking with the boy as he usually did.
Zhao Rui took notice and pressed him further. Li Xu reluctantly revealed that his mother disliked that family—including the girl herself. Zhao Rui knew Li Xu’s mother was a woman of principle. If she disliked someone, there was likely a reason. So he ordered a deeper investigation. Unexpectedly, it turned up real problems: the girl, named Lu Xiaoxiao, was fiercely jealous and notorious for bullying at school. Because she had good looks, strong grades, a respectable family background, and popularity, those she bullied had nowhere to turn. Even their parents and teachers believed the victims themselves were at fault. As a result, children who had once been outstanding and beautiful became ordinary, depressed, and withdrawn. One of them suffered so severely that she attempted suicide and eventually dropped out of school. Even Li Xu’s cousin—an adult—had endured plenty of hardship at this girl’s hands.
When Zhao Rui received the investigation results, he was horrified. He firmly demanded that his son break up with her.
The girl, learning of his stance, came to plead with him many times. Zhao Rui ignored her. Realizing she could not sway him, she clung tightly to his son instead—and even helped the boy search for his biological mother, the woman who had abandoned her husband and child to return to the city.
It was only then that Zhao Rui discovered how important that mother was in his son’s heart. Everything he had sacrificed and fought for paled in comparison. He regretted that, in trying to protect his son, he had never revealed the truth of her abandonment, nor spoken ill of her.
Later, his son actually brought that woman back into his life. For her sake—and for the sake of that scheming girl—he repeatedly defied Zhao Rui’s own mother, who fell gravely ill from the anger and soon passed away.
And his son even plotted to have Zhao Rui remarry the woman who had once deserted them. Furious, Zhao Rui drove his son out of the house. The very next day, on his way to work, he was in a car accident. In his final moments, his deepest regret was that he had never written a will—he hated the thought of leaving everything to such a selfish, ungrateful son. Yet when he opened his eyes again, he was twenty-seven years old. Now, hearing this—Li Xu’s cousin had divorced?
In his previous life, nothing like this had happened. Lu Xiaoxiao’s uncle was the director of the city’s Bureau of Industry and Commerce, and until Zhao Rui’s death there had never been any rumor of divorce. Was this world different from the last? Or had this woman also experienced some strange twist of fate?
Zhao Rui began to study her discreetly.
Jiang Nan, not wanting to be the center of gossip, quickly shifted her cousin’s attention by asking about their situation instead.
That man seemed badly injured—his head was wrapped in thick gauze, secured with an elastic net cap.
Jiang Nan’s question immediately stirred her cousin’s boastful streak. “Ah, pure bad luck! Two guys in the team got into a fight, and the Party secretary told us to break it up. We managed to pin one down, but those fools on the other side couldn’t hold theirs. That guy grabbed a hoe and swung it. The kid on our side ducked behind Brother Rui, and the hoe came down on him instead. Luckily it was just the hoe handle, not the blade—otherwise Brother Rui’s skull would’ve been split in half…”
Jiang Nan was speechless. The man was right behind him, and he was cursing him like that?
Sure enough, the tall man raised his hand and gave Li Xu a light smack on the back of his head. The blow wasn’t hard, and Li Xu didn’t get angry—he just grinned sheepishly.
Only then did he remember to introduce them. “Brother Rui, this is my cousin. Jie, this is our neighbor, Brother Rui. I think you two have met before, right?”
Both remembered and nodded in acknowledgment.
The original host’s memory was hazy—she only recalled that Li Xu had always liked hanging out with this man, and that he had married an educated youth. One year, when she visited her aunt’s house for New Year, the aunt had fretted over Li Xu’s marriage prospects, saying even if he brought home someone like Zhao Rui’s educated-youth wife, she’d be satisfied—even if the daughter-in-law refused to work. Yes, Li Xu was twenty-four this year and still unmarried, known in the brigade as a “confirmed bachelor.”
Beyond that, Jiang Nan didn’t recall much. Looking at him now, she noticed his long arms and legs barely fit in the narrow bus aisle. His build was excellent, and even the loose clothes of the era couldn’t hide it. His looks were good too—though his hair was flattened, it didn’t diminish his presence. To be honest, compared to the refined, medium-height Cheng Denglin, this kind of man suited her taste more.
Neither spoke further.
Jiang Nan noticed his gaze was sharp, almost like the scrutiny of someone in authority when it fell on her. But he quickly looked away, and she wondered if she was imagining things.
In any case, they exchanged no more words.
The rest of the ride, Jiang Nan and Li Xu chatted about their recent lives.
After getting off the bus, Li Xu told Zhao Rui to find a place to sit while he helped Jiang Nan carry her things to the school, promising to come back for him later. But Zhao Rui refused. He picked up some of the lighter but bulky items and followed them to the dormitory.
After they set the things down, it happened to be lunchtime. To thank them, Jiang Nan invited the two to eat at the state-run restaurant.
At the table, Jiang Nan asked how they planned to get back. Zhao Rui had a mild concussion—surely he couldn’t walk for over an hour.
Li Xu puffed up proudly. “We’ve got connections at the commune. He’s got a vehicle, so we borrowed it to ride back. We’ll return it next time.”
“That works,” Jiang Nan nodded.
After the meal, Jiang Nan went to pay with ration tickets, but the cashier told her it had already been settled. Turning back, she saw Li Xu waving and grinning, pointing at Zhao Rui—he had paid.
Jiang Nan sighed helplessly. Back at the dormitory, she took out the half a jin of brown sugar and two packets of milk powder that Cheng Denglin had given her. She handed half the sugar and one packet of milk powder to Li Xu, and the other packet to Zhao Rui.
Both refused.
Li Xu knew she had just miscarried, and these were meant to nourish her. He didn’t want to take them. But Jiang Nan insisted: “Milk powder has no taste—I don’t like drinking it. You can take it for Second Brother’s child. As for the sugar, I can get more from the clinic with a prescription. But Aunt would have to save ration tickets for ages to buy it. So you take it.”
Li Xu had no choice but to accept.
Zhao Rui still shook his head, but Jiang Nan smiled. “We’re not relatives. You’ve put in effort and even paid for the meal—I’d feel embarrassed to take advantage of you for nothing.”
Since she put it that way, Zhao Rui couldn’t refuse again.
On the way home, Zhao Rui sat in the back seat while Li Xu, small-framed but determined, pedaled hard and chatted with him. “Brother Rui, why do you think my cousin divorced? What happened between them?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Zhao Rui replied with his eyes closed.
Li Xu clutched the handlebars, itching with curiosity. “She doesn’t want to talk about it!”
“Then don’t pry.” Though he said that, Zhao Rui himself was wondering too. He wanted to know where the turning point had been.