Li Xu dropped Zhao Rui off at his doorstep. Zhao Rui changed his mind about the bag of milk powder, telling Li Xu to take it home instead. At the time, he had only accepted it out of courtesy to Li Xu’s cousin. He hadn’t contributed much, and the meal hadn’t cost much either—hardly worth such a precious item.
Li Xu nodded in agreement, but after riding a short distance, he suddenly tossed the bag back into Zhao Rui’s arms, steadied his bike with one hand, waved, and rode off without looking back.
Zhao Rui could only smile helplessly, then turned— And saw the low earthen walls and the shabby mud-brick house of his family. It felt like a dream.
This old house had been torn down after he earned his first money at the end of ’82, replaced with a brick-and-tile home. Later, when he achieved some success, he rebuilt it into a villa. Yet now, seeing it in this state—though he had lived here for more than twenty years—it felt strangely unfamiliar.
Zhao Rui pushed open the door. His mother, hearing the noise, came out from the main hall.
“Who’s there?”
When she saw him, she hurried over, tugging at his arm and fussing over his head, her voice full of anxious concern: “Son, you’re back? How are you, feeling better? Let me take a look. Oh heavens, that damned Niu Gui—how could he hit you so hard!”
Zhao Rui looked at his mother, ten years younger, and at the little boy who ran out from inside, clinging to his leg and calling “Daddy” over and over. His emotions were tangled. He felt deep guilt toward his mother. In her youth, she had raised him alone. In middle age, she helped him care for his son. In her old age, she should have enjoyed the joy of grandchildren—but instead, she was worn down, angered into illness, and passed away. Even at her last breath, she worried about him, urging him to find a wife, to marry, afraid he would grow old alone with no one by his side. And his son? Raising him had been in vain.
Zhao Rui lowered his gaze, staring at that familiar face, and almost couldn’t resist the urge to kick him away.
“Have you eaten? I’ll cook for you!” his mother’s voice broke his thoughts.
“I’ve eaten,” Zhao Rui quickly stopped her. He handed her the bag of milk powder.
Mother Zhao examined it carefully, confirming what it was, and asked, “Did you manage to get the ration ticket?” She remembered her son mentioning a few days ago that he wanted to find milk powder coupons for the child.
Zhao Rui replied, “No, someone gave it to me.”
“Who’s so generous, giving away something this precious?” she asked, pulling him inside. “Well, it’s just right for you and Xiao Ze to build yourselves back up—you lost so much blood…”
The sight of him being carried away, head wrapped in a towel and covered in blood, had truly terrified her.
Zhao Rui said, “You drink it too. We’ll all build ourselves up together, live long lives together.”
If given another chance, he would make sure his mother enjoyed peace in her later years, passing away naturally and content.
Mother Zhao laughed, both pleased and embarrassed: “Live a hundred years? That would make me an old witch!”
“You still haven’t said who gave it to you?” Mother Zhao asked again.
Zhao Rui replied, “Li Xu’s cousin on his uncle’s side. I helped her carry some things on the way, and she insisted on thanking us—gave both me and Li Xu a bag.”
“That’s really too polite,” Mother Zhao said, touching the bag of milk powder with a sigh. She remembered that young woman. Years ago, she had even thought of matching her with Zhao Rui as a wife. But her son had no interest in courting at the time, impatient with the idea of finding a partner. In the blink of an eye, the good girl married someone else, and Mother Zhao regretted it privately for a long time.
Speaking of wives, Mother Zhao grew anxious: “How long has Jingqiu been gone? Why hasn’t she come back yet?”
Her daughter-in-law had gone to visit her family for the New Year—it had already been more than a month.
Zhao Chuanze also asked, “Daddy, when is Mommy coming back?”
Zhao Rui looked at his mother and son, his lips moving, but in the end he didn’t say it. She would not come back.
In his previous life, it had been the same. After taking the college entrance exam, Cen Jingqiu used the excuse of visiting her family in the city and never returned. At the end of March, he received a letter from her—informing him of divorce.
In those days, rural marriages didn’t involve certificates. A banquet and a wedding night made it a de facto marriage, legally recognized. But divorce required no formalities. Cen Jingqiu’s single letter severed their marriage. Back then, Zhao Rui couldn’t accept it. With his son crying for his mother, he went alone to find her, wanting to ask what had really happened. But as soon as he reached the city, he saw her with a man and a child, strolling in the park. The smile she gave that child—he had never seen her show it to their own son. Zhao Rui followed them, watching her buy soda for the child, watching the man quietly take her hand—and she did not refuse. He felt the world collapse around him, though he clung to a shred of hope that maybe he was mistaken. So he stayed in the city for two more days, asking around.
Sadly, the truth was clear.
Cen Jingqiu later claimed she had only returned to the city after the divorce, and that she had no child in the countryside. The man was a blind date arranged by her brother and sister-in-law—a sales director at a textile factory. They were already discussing marriage, and the man supported her in taking the college entrance exam.
Didn’t he support her too? Zhao Rui wanted to ask. But in the end, she had escaped the “sea of suffering” and had no desire to return. So Zhao Rui gave up and went home, never mentioning that woman again—until his son later brought her back into their lives.
Thinking of this, Zhao Rui couldn’t help but look at the son he had cherished for so many years. He still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the way he had raised his son.
To give the boy a good life, he had gone south to work—hauling bricks, mixing cement, even fighting for territory. He sent him to the best schools, provided the most comfortable living conditions. To prevent his son from being mocked or bullied by classmates because of his parents’ divorce, and to avoid psychological scars, Zhao Rui would rush home as soon as work ended, spending large amounts of time with his son and mother. He believed he had given his son everything he needed to grow up well. So he couldn’t understand why his son was so obsessed with so-called “motherly love,” to the point of ignoring even the grandmother who had doted on him, cared for him, and raised him. Was it because he had everything except a mother’s love, and so desperately wanted to fill that void?
Zhao Rui couldn’t comprehend it.
Thinking of his mother’s early death and his own car accident, he realized—no matter how much money he earned, it couldn’t buy life.
To struggle for such a selfish, ungrateful son was meaningless. Given another chance, he didn’t want to fight so hard. This time, with the advantage of knowing future policies, he planned to take an easier, smoother path.
Money—just enough to spend was fine. Ensuring his mother’s peaceful old age was his most important goal. As for his son, perhaps instead of carefully cultivating him as in the past, letting him grow wild would be better. He would fulfill his duty, raise him until he graduated college, then kick him out to fend for himself.
Whether he sought out his mother or married that scheming girl—it was all up to him, as long as he didn’t bring trouble to Zhao Rui and his mother. That was Zhao Rui’s plan.
Meanwhile, Aunt Jiang, upon hearing Jiang Nan’s situation and seeing the milk powder and brown sugar Li Xu had brought, grew furious. She snatched up a broom and beat him: “These are things meant to nourish your sister, and you dare accept them!”
Li Xu dodged while talking fast: “The milk powder is for the little nephews and nieces, the brown sugar is for you. I only helped carry them back. Mom, hitting me isn’t fair!”
His second brother, Li Chang, watched the commotion for a while before stepping in to stop their mother. “Alright, Mom. If Xiao Nan wants to give something, it would be strange if the third one could refuse.”
Then she turned to Li Xu. “Tell me carefully about Xiao Nan’s divorce and miscarriage. Let’s figure out how to settle accounts with the Cheng family!”
Li Xu looked troubled. “Sis doesn’t want to talk about it. But she seems very calm. Honestly… she looks happy, almost relieved. Her whole demeanor is relaxed.”
Hearing this, the Li family fell silent.
After a long while, Aunt Jiang sighed with pity. “That’s true. With Xiao Nan’s temperament, she wouldn’t divorce unless life had become unbearable. But once she did, it means divorce was what she truly wanted. She’s just too strong-willed—such major things as miscarriage and divorce, she won’t even tell the family. It breaks my heart!”
“As for the Cheng family…” Aunt Jiang clenched her teeth. “I’ll ask Xiao Nan first, then deal with them!”
For things to reach the point of divorce, the Chengs must have bullied Xiao Nan mercilessly, making her suffer grievances. They absolutely could not be let off lightly!
“Yes, yes!” Li Xu fanned the flames, then suddenly thought of something. “Oh, Mom—my sister miscarried. Shouldn’t you give her some eggs to help her recover?”
“You’re right!” Li Xu’s mother quickly stood up to count out eggs.
Li Xu let out a breath of relief, gulped down a big mouthful of water, and muttered to his father and brother: “When I saw my sister’s belly gone, my first thought was that even Mom could miscalculate dates. She’d been saying at home she’d prepare eggs for her confinement, but the baby was already gone and the eggs hadn’t appeared. I never imagined it was a miscarriage. At that moment, I…”
“Third one,” Li Chang interrupted, rubbing his temples, “do you know why you still haven’t found a wife?”
This mouth of his was just too talkative!
Li Xu caught his brother’s meaning and flared up. “What do you mean I can’t find one? I don’t even want to! What’s so good about marriage? Dragging a family around, no freedom, working yourself to death and still not enough to eat…”
“Third one, is that how you think of your second brother?”
Suddenly, his second sister-in-law spoke softly. Li Xu froze, then hurried to explain: “No, no, not at all, second sister-in-law! I meant those idle men outside! Look at how hardworking and capable my second brother is—raising my nephew and niece so plump and adorable!”
While the Li household was in chaos, Jiang Nan had nearly finished tidying her dormitory. There were two bunk beds inside; someone lived on the left, so she arranged her belongings on the right. After changing the water and wiping things down twice, she made the bed below and placed her trunk and other items on the upper bunk. Soon everything was in order. She even went to the post office, opened a new account, and deposited the six hundred-plus yuan she had on hand. She had busied herself all afternoon without seeing her roommate. When she asked a logistics teacher who had come by to see if she needed help, she learned that the roommate lived in the city and only stayed in the dorm when she couldn’t make it home or during lunch breaks. The teacher assured her the roommate was easy to get along with.
Jiang Nan quickly noticed that there was only one desk in the dorm. The roommate’s books and stationery were neatly arranged on the left side, and even when living alone before, she hadn’t encroached on the other half.
In fact, it wasn’t just this unseen roommate. Perhaps because of Principal Yang’s earnest and responsible leadership, most of the teachers at Hongshan Middle School weren’t burdened with the petty scheming common in other workplaces—they were easy to get along with.
For example, the educated youth English teacher. His surname was Zhu. He had participated in scoring Jiang Nan’s trial lecture and had been impressed by her.
The next day, after the pre-term staff meeting, Teacher Zhu took the initiative to act as her guide, introducing her to the office staff and giving her a brief overview of the school. When he learned she was also preparing for exams, he grew excited, saying they could discuss questions together in the future.
After she taught two consecutive classes and returned with a hoarse voice, he knowingly gave her two lozenges of *pang da hai* (malva nuts) and reassured her that she would adapt with time.
Overall, Jiang Nan’s new job was off to a fairly smooth start. At noon, dragging her sore legs back to the dorm after getting lunch, she was met with a surprise.
Li Xu was grinning broadly, waving at her from afar, while her aunt stood beside him with a stern face.
Two words flashed through Jiang Nan’s mind—I’m doomed!