The snow was still falling. Inside the house it was fine, but once outside, the biting wind cut to the bone. Xu Yu's knees began to ache dully again, and her mind grew foggy.
Braving the wind and snow, she hurried forward, returning to the back kitchen.
A wood fire was burning in the kitchen; the smoke was acrid, but it was nice and warm. The servants huddled around the fire, and hearing the commotion, they turned to look, greatly surprised.
The servant girl Long'er spoke up: "Weren't you punished with kneeling? How are you up and about? Aren't you afraid of angering that vixen and earning an even harsher punishment?"
Xu Yu didn't answer. She stepped into the kitchen, poured herself a jug of hot water, and headed for her quarters.
"You dare ignore me? Your temper's gotten worse and worse. You think your father is still the village head? You're no different from the rest of us now—a servant all the same, waiting on others hand and foot!"
Xu Yu kept her eyes lowered, not wanting to quarrel.
These people were clearly picking on her on purpose. When she first arrived, she would argue back a little, but it did nothing except add fuel to the fire. Now she had learned her lesson—better to avoid trouble altogether. After all, she wouldn't be staying here much longer.
Long'er, however, didn't see it that way. Relentlessly, she blocked her path: "Oh, so you're just going to ignore me now? You wait—I'll go tell the steward right this instant. You dared to defy Lady Song's punishment. Let's see what you do then!"
The others in the kitchen hurriedly tried to make peace: "Forget it, forget it. Why go so far? In snow like this, if she really kept kneeling, someone might die. Since Lady Song hasn't said anything more, we may as well pretend we didn't see anything."
"Why should we pretend we saw nothing? What if Lady Song blames us and says we covered for her? I don't want to be punished along with her. Besides, whose fault is it that she's so clumsy she can't even carry a plate of pastries without dropping them? She deserves her punishment! Move aside!"
"It's broad daylight and you're all hiding in here instead of working? All of you, get up!" The kitchen steward entered, scolding them in a stern voice.
Long'er sidled up to him and grabbed his hand. "Mama Steward, this Xu Yu—she was so clumsy she knocked over the pastries meant for Lady Song, and Lady Song made her kneel. But she refused to accept it and dared to sneak back up on her feet. You know Lady Song's temper—if she finds out, she'll fly into a rage, and then we'll all surely be punished along with her."
The kitchen steward brushed her hand away and said sternly, "What business is that of yours? Just do your own job. Go wash your dishes now—don't think you can slack off just because it's cold out!"
"Mama…"
"Enough, silence!" The steward cut her off sharply, then turned to Xu Yu, his expression instantly changing, his voice growing much gentler. "Xu Yu, Lord Nie sent someone over with instructions—you're to come serve him starting tomorrow. And you, girl—such a stroke of fortune, and you didn't even tell me. The head steward came looking for me personally; I thought something had happened. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest."
Xu Yu was taken aback. "I…"
"Now, now. You knelt in the snow for so long, you must be frozen through. Go back and rest. I'll have someone bring you some ginger soup and charcoal."
"I…" Xu Yu pressed her lips together and answered quietly, "Yes."
Through her sister and brother-in-law's connections, she had managed to get work here as a hired hand, but that was the extent of it. The people here couldn't stand her; their words were always barbed, or else they simply ignored her. The steward was the worst of all—this was the first time she had ever seen him smile.
Just how big an official was this Lord Nie, that they could all be so worked up over him?
The murmuring had already started behind her.
"Steward, who exactly is this Lord Nie? What kind of person is he, that you hold him in such regard?"
"What kind of person? He came straight from the capital—he's the Assistant Palace Secretary. Do you know what an Assistant Palace Secretary is? He advises the Son of Heaven and attends the Emperor's side every single day!" The kitchen steward had no real idea what the position of Assistant Palace Secretary entailed; she had merely heard it from those above her and passed it along as such.
All she knew was that this girl Xu Yu was not to be underestimated from now on. But remembering how she herself had never been particularly kind to the girl, she felt a flicker of vexation and took it out on the crowd before her, snapping, "She caught the eye of someone important—you lot weren't born with such fortune. Now get up and get to work, all of you, no idling! You two, hurry up and brew the ginger soup and prepare the charcoal, and take them to Madam Xu!"
Xu Yu was already far away and heard only some of this. She returned to her quarters and sat on the shared bunk, feeling uneasy.
Lord Nie wanted her to attend him—did he mean it that way?
She touched her own face.
The kitchen steward often sent her to deliver meals and pastries to the noble guests in the other courtyard, first because it was thankless work—those nobles were not easy to serve—and second because her face was, admittedly, rather decent among the kitchen's assortment of servants, at least not unpleasant to look at.
But that was all. She often delivered meals and pastries, and she had seen the ladies of the other courtyard. Compared to them, her face was at best merely delicate and pretty. Surely it held no such charm as to make a high official from the capital fall in love at first sight and be utterly captivated.
With that thought, she relaxed considerably.
She had come here simply to earn some money to help support her family and get through this most difficult period. Once the mourning period was over, if her eldest brother could secure some minor official post, she would no longer have to endure this hardship.
The kitchen maids brought the charcoal and ginger soup, and she could see the resentment and bitterness in their eyes. She said nothing, drank several bowls of ginger soup, wrapped herself in her quilt, and, enduring the itch and ache of her chilblains, sank into a heavy sleep.
She could not fall ill. Her family was in a difficult time, and she could not make her brothers and sister worry about her or spend money on her.
Her head felt heavy and leaden, and her dreams were pitch black. After who knew how long, she struggled to open her heavy eyelids.
"Madam Xu is awake! Madam Xu is awake!" someone cried, their voice fading into the distance.
Xu Yu's head ached as if it would split. Bracing herself against the bed, she slowly sat up, and only after a long while could she make out the person before her.
"Madam Xu, you're finally awake."
It was the young attendant at Lord Nie's side, named—named… yes, Qizhang.
"I… I…" Xu Yu's eyes shifted slightly, taking in the unfamiliar furnishings of the room—a comfortable single bed, soft gauze curtains, and a beautiful carpet. "Where am I?"
"Madam Xu is in my lord's Chengguan Pavilion. That night after you returned, you came down with a fever in the middle of the night. The stewardess was truly at her wits' end and had no choice but to seek out my lord. The moment he heard, he immediately sent someone with his personal token to fetch a physician for you, and had you carried here to be properly treated."
"I…" Xu Yu rose at once, kneeling on the bed and bowing low. "This servant is endlessly grateful to my lord for saving my life."
Qizhang smiled. "Please don't rush, Madam. My lord is not here at the moment. If you wish to thank him, perhaps you should wait until he returns. It's cold—please get back under the covers quickly."
Only then did Xu Yu realize she was wearing nothing but her sleeping robe. Her cheeks burned even hotter, and she quickly burrowed into the covers, blurting out, "Where did my lord go?"
"My lord originally came here on official business. The snow stopped during the two days the lady was unconscious, and the sky cleared up, so he went out to attend to his duties. Before leaving, he specifically ordered me to stay here, in case the lady woke and needed someone to look after her."
"I see." Xu Yu looked toward the window and indeed saw the warm sunlight falling on the window lattice.
Qizhang continued, "Now that the lady is awake, I am relieved. I'll have someone bring the medicine and food, and then I'll keep watch outside. If the lady needs anything at all, just call for me."
"Thank you—"
"Oh, right." Qizhang took a few steps, then turned back, pointing at the porcelain bottle beside the bed. "That's chilblain ointment. The chilblains on the lady's hands and feet are quite severe. My lord gave instructions that you must be sure to apply it."
Xu Yu glanced at the ointment on the bedside table, but before she could thank her, Qizhang had already left.
Soon, three women entered together.
Two of them Xu Yu had seen before—they were ladies of the side compound. Though registered as slaves, they lived much like young ladies of wealthy families, learning only music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, waited on hand and foot, surrounded by servants, never having to do a lick of work. The third she hadn't seen before, but she supposed it was the same.
"Well, aren't you the lucky one—falling ill the moment you arrived, requiring the three of us to wait on you all by yourself. These past few days we've been so busy tending to you that we haven't even managed a single word with my lord."
The speaker was Lady Liu. She rarely came out to entertain guests, but with her exceptional looks and skill at chess, she was highly favored, and no one in the entire side compound dared cross her.
Xu Yu had been here for half a year and was well informed of such gossip. She lowered her eyes. "Thank you for looking after me, ladies. I am endlessly grateful."
Liu Shanyue gave a cold snort and slammed the medicine bowl down heavily on the table. "Since you're awake, take your medicine yourself, apply your ointment yourself, and don't go thinking we'll wait on you any longer. Even if my lord favors you, you're still just a slave like the rest of us."
"Yes, I understand." Xu Yu slowly sat up, picked up the bowl, and drank the medicine through gritted teeth, then took the jar of ointment and applied it to her chilblains.
The chilblains on her hands were truly frightening, especially at the knuckles, swollen terribly, the cracked skin oozing fluid. If not treated promptly, her hands might well rot away.
Liu Shanyue gave them only a glance, pressing a handkerchief over her mouth and nose, brow furrowed in disgust. "Your chilblains have gone and festered, and they stink. And we still have to apply your medicine every day. I don't know what sins you committed in a past life."
Xu Yu said nothing. She felt a twinge of bitterness, but only a tiny one. She knew that this time she had truly walked through the gates of hell—simply surviving was fortune enough. Such cutting words meant nothing in the face of life and death.
But Liu Shanyue wasn't finished, rattling on and on as if to vent all the resentment she'd built up over the past days in one go: "My lord even made us change your clothes and wipe down your body. Fine, we endured that. And for fear something might happen to you, we had to keep vigil over you in shifts. You're nothing but a little kitchen drudge—what did you ever do to deserve being waited on like this by the likes of us?"
As Liu Shanyue berated her, the other two—one sitting bored, staring at the roof beams, the other standing and picking at her handkerchief—made no move to stop her. Clearly, they harbored the same long-standing grievances.
"And one more thing. I'm warning you—don't get any ideas just because the Lord has been merciful to you. He saved you looking like that only out of the goodness of his heart. If you knew your own place, we'd let everything from these past few days go with just a few words of advice. But if you insist on throwing yourself at the Lord, don't blame us for being unpleasant!"
Xu Yu understood at once—this was what the three of them had really come to say. She lowered her eyes submissively and said softly, "My gifts are crude and lowly. I would never dare to compete with you ladies."
"Good. Just look at those chilblains on your hands—even I find them nauseating to look at. How many people would ever fancy someone like you? I'm only saying all this for your own good, to spare you the heartache when your climb proves futile…"
"My Lord, you've returned! Xu Niangzi is awake—several of the maids are looking after her inside!"
Qizhang's voice came from outside. The three women sprang up at once. One snatched away the medicine bowl, another grabbed the jar of ointment, and the third, finding her hands empty, hurried over to Xu Yu and pretended to tidy her blanket.
Then came footsteps. Nie Huiming lifted the heavy wind-break curtain and walked slowly in, the jade pendant at his waist chiming softly.
All three knelt together: "We pay our respects to the Lord."
Xu Yu scrambled up as well, stumbling to her knees: "This servant pays her respects to the Lord."
Nie Huiming glanced over them, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. "How is she?"
The three women competed to answer, but Qizhang cut them off: "My Lord, Xu Niangzi looks much better. The physician said that now that she's awake, there's nothing serious to worry about."
"Good." Nie Huiming nodded and turned to leave.
"My Lord!" Liu Shanyue called out.
Nie Huiming looked back, waiting for her to speak.
Liu Shanyue swallowed, lowered her eyes, and said softly, "These past few days while Sister Xu has been ill, as you instructed, we have cared for her devotedly. But we were originally meant to serve you, my Lord. Since arriving here we haven't received any instructions from you, and we can't help feeling anxious—wondering whether we've done something wrong that displeased you?"
Nie Huiming strode away, leaving only a few words: "It's cleared up, but the snow hasn't melted. Qizhang, arrange for them to sweep and tidy the courtyard."
"My Lo—" Liu Shanyue wanted to say more, but he was already gone, not even leaving behind his silhouette.