"I…" Xu Yu clutched her sleeve tightly, nearly crumpling the smooth fabric.
Nie Huiming did not press further, only watching her quietly.
Yet it was precisely that quiet gaze that made Xu Yu's heart grow more frantic. Her nails were nearly digging into her palms when, suddenly, the taut string inside her snapped, and the words spilled out.
"That day, after this servant left Your Lordship's study, Xiang Yuxue dragged me back to my room. She told me that the few of them had come with a mission, and if the mission was not completed, their lives would be in danger. She also threatened me, saying that if their lives were ever in danger, she would certainly not let me leave alive either."
There was not a ripple in Nie Huiming's eyes as he asked calmly, "What mission?"
"She said they were sent by people above them to get close to Your Lordship, and that I was standing in their way. As for what getting close to you was for, this servant does not know."
"What did they want you to do? What reward did they offer you?"
"I…" She felt a pang of bitterness, guilt, and sadness—and yet also relief, as if a weight had lifted. "Xiang Yuxue said I was to be clumsier—perhaps break an inkstone, or smash a vase—so that Your Lordship would grow angry with me and drive me away. Then they would give me a payment."
"So that's why you broke my inkstone just now?"
Xu Yu lifted her eyes and hurriedly explained, "No, no! I didn't break Your Lordship's inkstone on purpose. I was struggling, hesitating over whether to tell you, and I accidentally lost my grip and broke it…"
Nie Huiming's lips curved, laughter in his eyes. "You wanted to abandon me and leave on your own?"
"No, I would never betray Your Lordship…" Xu Yu explained in a panic, but when she looked up and met those smiling eyes, she suddenly realized—His Lordship seemed to be teasing her. Her face flushed crimson instantly, and she bit her lip, stammering, "I… this servant never thought such a thing."
"Stand up and speak." Nie Huiming rose to his feet.
Xu Yu stole a glance at his back and said in a small voice, "This servant dares not stand. When Xiang Yuxue told me she'd give me a payment so I could leave with peace of mind, I was truly tempted. With that money, my elder brother and sister wouldn't have to work so hard, and I wouldn't have to keep working as a hired hand. Once the mourning period is over, and my brother finds a position, life would be easier."
"Come here."
"What?" Xu Yu had been speaking so earnestly to herself that only when she looked up did she realize Nie Huiming had already returned to his desk, where two strings of cash now sat. She shuffled forward on her knees and knelt before the desk.
Nie Huiming pushed the two strings of cash toward her. "Take it."
"I…" Her eyes went wide with shock.
"You told me the truth. This is your reward. Take it," Nie Huiming added.
Xu Yu was stunned for a moment, then hurriedly kowtowed. "Thank you, my lord! Thank you, my lord!"
"Take it." Nie Huiming repeated himself.
Xu Yu hesitantly gathered the two heavy strings of cash into her arms and said softly, "Thank you for your generous gift, my lord. This servant is undeserving of it."
"Do you think Xiang Yuxue will keep her promise?"
"This servant doesn't know. But she did give me a silver hairpin, and I don't think she's short of money. A few pieces of jewelry would be enough to cover what she promised, so surely she wouldn't deceive me."
"But you already know their secret. Will they let you leave alive?"
Xu Yu went rigid, staring blankly at him.
Nie Huiming's eyes curved, and he said soothingly, "There's no need to be afraid. You've come to me for refuge, and I will protect you."
Xu Yu dared not meet his gaze and lowered her eyes slightly.
"There is one more matter I must remind you of. Before your father's death, he secured a position for your elder brother. But now your father is gone. Once your brother finishes the three-year mourning period, will that position still be his?"
A basin of cold water seemed to pour over Xu Yu's head, chilling her heart to its core. Her one hope had been that after the mourning period her brother would take office and she would no longer have to live like this. If someone had told her earlier that even after the mourning period, her brother might not find any official post at all, she would not have held on that day in the snow.
She hung her head low, nearly buried in the ground, her voice barely audible: "This servant does not understand matters of officialdom, nor does she know whether the position still belongs to my brother."
"And if it doesn't? What would you do then?"
"This servant… this servant…" Her nose stung, and she immediately choked up, tears falling like beads from a broken string, one by one, landing on the plain handkerchief.
Nie Huiming watched her quietly, offering no words of comfort.
She wept for a while on her own, then wiped her tears with the handkerchief and said in a low voice, "This servant lost her composure. Please punish her, my lord."
"I will not be leaving Cangzhou for some time. Stay by my side, and if the opportunity arises, I will recommend your brother."
Xu Yu looked at him in disbelief. "But— but you haven't even met my brother, my lord. You don't know his character or learning. How can you just… Besides, even though I don't understand officialdom, I know how difficult it is to secure an official post. My father ran around exhausting himself just to find my brother a minor clerk's position at the county office. You are a high official from the capital, I— I…"
"You came here to avoid your brother, which shows his character is sound. He only taught you characters in his spare time, and yet you learned a fair amount, which shows his learning is not poor. In that case, if the opportunity arises, why should I not recommend him? Besides, you work for me. If I don't even give you this small benefit, who would be willing to serve me in the future?"
Xu Yu blinked blankly and nodded slightly. The reasoning was sound, and she couldn't help but be convinced.
"Wipe your tears and go sit back down."
Xu Yu immediately wiped away her tears and knelt back on the cushion.
Nie Huiming's gaze fell on her hands. "You've been using this chilblain ointment for a few days now. How does it feel?"
"Much better." Xu Yu held out the backs of her hands. "The wounds have scabbed over, and they're not so swollen anymore. A few more days of applying it, and they might heal completely."
Nie Huiming's eyes curved. "Then I'm relieved."
Xu Yu's cheeks grew warm. The outstretched hand had nowhere to go; she quietly drew it back and hid it beneath the table.
Nie Huiming seemed not to notice and brought up another matter. "Today you came to me for refuge. But have you thought about how you will deal with those women?"
Xu Yu frowned, only now remembering the matter. Earlier she had been wracked with guilt and sorrow, then turned from grief to joy, and had completely forgotten about it.
"I…" She bit her lip tightly.
"I'll be going out tomorrow, and I won't need you attending in the study, so I'm giving you two days off. Pack up and head home now. Come back after noon the day after tomorrow—that'll give you time to deliver that jar of ointment to your sister as well."
Lord Nie always had a way of making her heart clench and relax without his ever meaning to. Now it relaxed again, and she thanked him repeatedly: "Thank you, my lord!"
Nie Huiming withdrew his gaze and said, "Also, think about how you'll handle those three when you return."
Her mood being excellent, she said with a smile, "Soldiers come, we block them; floods come, we dam them. There'll always be a way."
Nie Huiming smiled and waved his sleeve. "Off you go."
"Then this servant will take her leave. I'll be back on time after noon the day after tomorrow." Xu Yu stepped back a few paces, pausing at the study door. Before leaving, she tucked the two strings of cash into her bodice and walked out with a light step.
Nie Huiming watched her retreating figure, his eyes smiling.
The moment she stepped out of the main hall, Xiang Yuxue and the others immediately looked over. Since it was broad daylight and they couldn't well attack her, they simply followed her quietly, questioning her in low voices.
"There was a commotion in the study just now. What happened?"
"I accidentally knocked over Lord Nie's inkstone."
Xiang Yuxue froze, exchanged a glance with Qin Rusu, and asked again, "What did the lord say?"
"He didn't punish me at all. He only said I was distracted and told me to go home and rest properly, and to come back and serve once I'd recovered my energy."
Though there had been no punishment to speak of, this was still wonderful news for Xiang Yuxue and the others. The lord would always need someone to add fragrance to his sleeves—so long as Xu Yu wasn't there, they would have their chance.
"May I go home and rest now?" Xu Yu deliberately played the weak one.
Xiang Yuxue smiled, rare for her. "Of course. The lord told you to rest, so naturally you should go rest. We won't disturb you."
Xu Yu nodded slightly, clutching the two strings of cash as she hurried back to her quarters. She packed the money and the medicine jar into her bundle, peeked out a couple of times, and while Xiang Yuxue and the others weren't paying attention, hurried out of Chengguan Pavilion.
She had barely left the gate when someone suddenly clapped her on the shoulder from behind, startling her so badly her heart nearly leapt out of her throat. She turned to look—it was Qizhang.
"Miss Xu, the lord was afraid you might not get out of the compound's main gate, so he specially sent me to see you off."
Xu Yu let out a long breath. "Then I'm in your debt."
"No need to thank me, miss. When the lord gives an order, I naturally spare no effort. Where do you live, miss?"
"My family lives in Yuyang County, some distance from here. The leave is short, so I won't be going home—I'll stay two days with my sister and brother-in-law instead."
"Where do your sister and brother-in-law live? Is it far from here? If it's inconvenient, the lord has a carriage—I could give you a ride."
"No, no, that would be too much trouble. My sister and brother-in-law live in the northwest corner, not too far from here. Besides, freight carts pass by often—I'll just hop on one of those." After saying this, Xu Yu added, "Thank you for looking out for me. I'm really just a hired hand, so there's no need to be so polite in the future. Just call me by my name."
Qizhang smiled. "All right, then I'll call you Xu Yu. Xu Yu, take care on the road."
Xu Yu's eyes curved slightly. "I will. Thank you for the reminder."
Once outside the gate, she parted ways with Qizhang and, just as she always had, flagged down a freight cart on the road. Facing the setting sun, she swayed along toward the northwest corner of the city.