Shen Nanxing reached the hospital at 1:50 p.m., ten minutes before the temporary meeting began.
In the restroom, she splashed cold water on her face. The person in the mirror had slightly swollen eyes and pale lips. She took lipstick from her bag, hesitated, then put it back. There were too many familiar faces at the nurses' station. If she looked a little more energetic, people would say she had a good attitude; if she looked a little more haggard, they would say she was getting old.
When a person reached middle age, it seemed even their complexion had to be evaluated.
The meeting lasted nearly an hour. The director of the nursing department sat at the front and discussed the hospital's recent performance assessment adjustments, position optimization, and improvements in service quality. The words sounded polished, but Shen Nanxing could hear what they really meant: staff would be reduced, the requirements would not, and the evaluation would become even more detailed.
By the time the meeting ended, her phone already had five missed calls, all from her mother-in-law.
Shen Nanxing had just reached the corridor when the phone rang again. She answered, and before she could speak, her mother-in-law's voice rushed over: “Why haven't you been answering your phone? I thought something had happened to you.”
“I was in a meeting just now, and my phone was on silent.” Shen Nanxing leaned against the wall. “Mom, what is it?”
“Yichen's kindergarten teacher said he needs to bring colored paper and a glue stick. I went downstairs to look, but couldn't find anything suitable. Buy them on your way home from work.”
“I still have to cover half a shift tonight, so I may be late.”
There was a brief pause on the other end, and her mother-in-law's tone immediately sank. “Didn't you just finish the night shift? Why do you have to work again?”
“The department colleagues are short-staffed.”
“Even if your department colleagues are short-staffed, they can't keep relying on you alone, can they? The two children at home need someone too.” Her mother-in-law said, “Nanxing, I'll say something you won't like hearing. Once a woman gets married and has children, she can't keep acting like a young girl who only cares about her position.”
Shen Nanxing watched the white coats coming and going at the end of the corridor, keeping her voice very low. “I don't only care about my position.”
“Then have you asked about Yiming's olympiad mathematics class? The grandson of Sister Wang next door enrolled ages ago. And Yichen has been coughing a lot lately; you need to take him to get checked too. Cheng'an is busy, and there's nothing he can do about that. He's a doctor, and his department can't function without him.”
Shen Nanxing suddenly did not know how to respond.
She was also a hospital employee, and her position was not something she could simply walk away from. Yet when her mother-in-law spoke of Gu Cheng'an, it was “his department can't function without him”; when she spoke of Shen Nanxing, it became “why do you have to work again?”
“I understand.” She finally said, “I'll buy the colored paper, and I'll ask about the olympiad mathematics class tonight.”
“Will you even have the energy tonight?” Her mother-in-law sighed. “Forget it, I'm not blaming you. I just feel sorry for the two children.”
Those words were more hurtful than a reproach.
Shen Nanxing ended the call and stood there for a few seconds to collect herself before walking toward the nurses' station. As soon as she reached the entrance, Xiao Zhou handed her a stack of forms. “Teacher Shen, could you help me check these medical instructions? I'm afraid I might verify them incorrectly.”
“Give them to me.”
She took the forms and quickly scanned the medication names, dosages, and times. Her professional training allowed her to enter another world almost immediately. Here, she could not feel wronged, lose focus, or misread a dosage because of a phone call from home.
At six in the evening, Shen Nanxing finally left the hospital. She bought colored paper and a glue stick at a stationery store, then went to a pharmacy to buy children's cough-relief patches. While waiting in line to pay, she received a call from Gu Cheng'an.
“I have a dinner engagement tonight, so I won't be home for dinner.”
“I know.”
“Mom said you didn't answer your phone this afternoon, and she was quite worried. Even when you're busy in the future, send a message. Elderly patients tend to overthink.”
Shen Nanxing tightened her grip on the shopping basket.
“I was in a meeting.”
“I know.” Gu Cheng'an's voice sounded very tired. “I'm not blaming you. It's just that there are so many things at home, so please shoulder a little more of the burden.”
There it was again: shoulder a little more of the burden.
It was as though her life had always been meant to be divided into countless portions: one for the hospital, one for the children, one for her husband, one for her mother-in-law, and only after all that, the leftover scraps would belong to her.
The cashier reminded her to scan the code. Shen Nanxing came back to herself and hurriedly paid.
On the way home, the city was severely congested during the evening rush hour. The bus was packed with people leaving work. She held onto a handrail, while the edges of the colored paper in her bag pressed against the back of her hand. Her exhausted face was reflected in the window as layers of lights swept past outside.
She suddenly wanted to ask: Then who would shoulder her burdens?